Kuthetha Ukuthini Ukuthobela Emtshatweni?

XA IBHINQA elingumKristu litshata, limele lenze uhlengahlengiso kwizinto ezininzi. Mhlawumbi olona lukhulu kolu luchaphazela inkululeko yalo. Njengomntu okhulileyo ongatshatanga, lisenokuba belikhululekile ukuzenzela izigqibo zalo ezininzi ngaphandle kokudibana nabani na. Kodwa ngoku njengokuba linomyeni, libophelelekile ukuba lidibane naye lize licele imvume yokwenza izinto ezininzi ebeliqhele ukuzenzela izigqibo kuzo. Kutheni oku kunjalo nje?

Kungenxa yokuba xa uMdali woluntu watshatisa umfazi wokuqala kwiindoda yokuqala, wamisela indoda ukuba ibe yintloko yomfazi wayo neyabantwana babo ababeza kuba nabo. Oku ngokucacileyo kwakusengqiqweni. Nakweliphi na iqela labantu abalungeleleneyo, kufuneka kubekho ubani okhokelayo nowenza izigqibo zokugqibela. Kwimeko yomtshato, uMdali wamisela ukuba “indoda le iyintloko yomfazi.”—Efese 5:23.

Ukuxhasa oku, umyalelo wobuthixo uthi: “Nina bafazi, walulameleni awenu amadoda.” (Efese 5:22) Indlela umfazi achaphazeleka ngayo kweli lungiselelo ixhomekeke kwizinto ezimbini: Okokuqala, ukulungele kangakanani ukuthobela eli lungiselelo? yaye okwesibini, umyeni wakhe uya kulisebenzisa njani igunya? Enyanisweni, xa amaqabane omtshato omabini elijonga ngokufanelekileyo eli lungiselelo, afumanisa ukuba liyintsikelelo emfazini, endodeni nasebantwaneni babo.

Ingabi Nguzwilakhe

Indoda ifanele ilisebenzise njani igunya layo? Ngokulandela umzekelo omhle woNyana kaThixo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Indoda le iyintloko yomfazi njengokuba naye uKristu eyintloko yebandla eli; waye yena ngokwakhe enguMsindisi wawo umzimba. Nina madoda, bathandeni abafazi benu, njengokuba naye uKristu walithandayo ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efese 5:23, 25) Ukubusebenzisa kukaYesu Kristu ubuntloko kwakuyintsikelelo ebandleni. Wayengengozwilakhe. Akazange abenze abafundi bakhe bazive bebekelwe imiqathango okanye becinezelwe. Kunoko, wafumana intlonelo yabo bonke ngokubaphatha ngothando nangemfesane. Onjani wona umzekelo ukuba mhle amele amadoda awulandele ekuphatheni abafazi bawo!

Phofu ke, akho amadoda angawulandeliyo lo mzekelo mhle. Asebenzisa ubuntloko abunikwe nguThixo ngokuzingca, kunokuba abusebenzisele ingenelo yabafazi bawo. Alawula abafazi bawo ngendlela yobuzwilakhe, efuna ngenkani intobelo epheleleyo yaye ngokufuthi engabavumeli ukuba bazenzele naziphi na izigqibo. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, abafazi bamadoda anjalo ngokufuthi baphila ubomi bokungonwabi. Yaye nayo indoda enjalo ayonwabi ekubeni ingayifumani intlonelo enothando yomfazi wayo.

Kuyinyaniso ukuba, uThixo ufuna umfazi ahlonele isigxina sendoda yakhe njengentloko yentsapho. Kodwa ukuba indoda inqwenela ukufumana intlonelo enyanisekileyo yakhe njengomntu, imele iyifanele, yaye eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokwenza oko kungokwenza izinto ngokuthembekileyo nangokuhlakulela iimpawu ezintle nezobuthixo njengentloko yekhaya.

Ukuthobela Kusikelwe Umda

Igunya lendoda emfazini wayo lilinganiselwe. Ngezinye iindlela ukuthobela komfazi kusenokuthelekiswa nokuthobela komKristu umlawuli wehlabathi. UThixo umisela ukuba umKristu umele ‘awalulamele amagunya awongamileyo.’ (Roma 13:1) Sekunjalo oku kuthobela kumele ngamaxesha onke kulungelelaniswe noko sikunika uThixo. UYesu wathi: “Nikelani izinto zikaKesare kuKesare, nezinto zikaThixo kuThixo.” (Marko 12:17) Ukuba uKesare (urhulumente wehlabathi) ufuna ukuba simnike oko kukokukaThixo, sikhumbula oko kwathethwa ngumpostile uPetros esithi: “Simelwe kukuthi sive uThixo kunokuba sive abantu.”—IZenzo 5:29.

Ngokufanayo, nokuba umfazi ongumKristu utshate nendoda engayiqondiyo okanye engayihloneliyo imigaqo yobuKristu, usabophelelekile ukuba ayithobele. Kunokuba avukele eli lungiselelo limiselwe nguThixo, uya kuba wenza kakuhle ukuba uyenzela izinto ngothando nangolwazelelelo aze ngaloo ndlela azame ukuzuza intembelo yayo. Mhlawumbi ihambo enjalo ukuba ntle iya kumenza umyeni wakhe aguquke; isenokude imzuzele enyanisweni. (1 Petros 3:1, 2) Ukuba umyeni wakhe umyalela ukuba enze into eyalelweyo nguThixo, umele akhumbule ukuba uThixo unguMlawuli wakhe oyintloko. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba imnyanzelisa ukuba abandakanyeke ekuziphatheni kakubi ngokwesini, njengomkhwa wokutshintshisana ngabafazi, ubophelelekile ukuba angathobeli. (1 Korinte 6:9, 10) Ukuthobela umyeni wakhe kulawulwa sisazela sakhe nangokuthobela kwakhe ngokuyintloko uThixo.

Ngexesha likaKumkani uDavide, uAbhigali wayetshate noNabhali, indoda eyayingayihloneli imigaqo yobuthixo neyaphatha uDavide namadoda akhe ngobukrwada nangokungenaluthando. Aba babekhusele amawaka eegusha neebhokhwe zikaNabhali, kodwa xa uDavide wacela ukutya, uNabhali akazange avume ukubanika nantoni na.

Ekuboneni kwakhe ukuba isimo sengqondo sokuvimba somyeni wakhe sasiza kuzisa intlekele kwindlu leyo, uAbhigali wazenzela isigqibo sokusa ukutya kuDavide. “Wakhawuleza . . . uAbhigali, wathabatha amakhulu amabini ezonka, neentsuba zambini zewayini, neegusha zantlanu sezihlinziwe, neeseha zantlanu zamakhweba, zalikhulu izicuba zeerasintyisi, zamakhulu mabini izicumba zamakhiwane, wazibeka emaesileni. Wathi kumadodana akwakhe, Gqithelani phambi kwam; niyabona, ndiyanilandela. Akayixelela indoda yakhe uNabhali.”—1 Samuweli 25:18, 19.

Ngaba uAbhigali wayenze imposiso ngokwenza izinto ngokuchasene nokuthanda komyeni wakhe? Akunjalo kule meko. Ukuthobela kuka-Abhigali akuzange kufune ukuba angabi naluthando njengomyeni wakhe, ingakumbi ekubeni ikhondo elingelolabulumko likaNabhali labeka engozini indlu yakhe iphela. Ngenxa yoko, uDavide wathi kuye: “Makabongwe uYehova, uThixo kaSirayeli, okuthumileyo namhla, wandikhawulela. Mayibongwe imvo yakho.” (1 Samuweli 25:32, 33) Ngokufanayo, abafazi abangamaKristu namhlanje abafanele babe neqwakaza baze bavukele ubuntloko bamadoda abo, kodwa ukuba athabatha ikhondo elingelolabukristu, abafazi abafanele bawalandele koku.

Kuyinyaniso ukuba, kwileta yakhe eya kwabase-Efese uPawulos uthi: “Kwanjengokuba ibandla eli limlulamela uKristu, mabathi ngokunjalo nabafazi bawalulamele awabo amadoda ezintweni zonke.” (Efese 5:24) Ukusebenzisa kompostile igama elithi “ezintweni zonke” apha akuthethi ukuba akukho mida ithile ekuthobeleni komfazi. Ibinzana likaPawulos elithi, “njengokuba ibandla limlulamela uKristu,” libonisa oko wayecinga ngako. Yonke into uKristu ayifunayo kwibandla lakhe ibubulungisa, ngokuvisisana nokuthanda kukaThixo. Ngoko ke, ibandla linokumthobela ngokulula nangovuyo kwinto yonke. Ngokufanayo, umfazi wendoda engumKristu ezama ngokunyanisekileyo ukulandela umzekelo kaYesu uya kukuvuyela ukuyithobela kwinto yonke. Uyazi ukuba izixhalabele gqitha izilangazelelo zakhe zokwenene, yaye ayisayi kuthi ngabom ifune ukuba enze into engavisisaniyo nokuthanda kukaThixo.

Indoda iya kulondoloza uthando nentlonelo yomfazi wayo xa yona ibonakalisa iimpawu zobuthixo zentloko yayo, uYesu Kristu, owayalela abalandeli bakhe ukuba bathandane. (Yohane 13:34) Nakubeni indoda isenza iimpazamo yaye ingafezekanga, ukuba isebenzisa igunya layo ngokuvisisana nobuntloko obongamileyo bukaKristu, yenza kube lula ngomfazi wayo ukuba akuvuyele ukuba nayo njengentloko yakhe. (1 Korinte 11:3) Ukuba umfazi uhlakulela uphawu lobuKristu lwesidima nolobubele obunothando, kuba lula ngaye ukuba athobele indoda yakhe.

Enokuthobeka Yaye Ethantamisa

Amadoda nabafazi ebandleni bangabazalwana noodade bokomoya abanokuma okulinganayo phambi koYehova. (Thelekisa eyabaseGalati 3:28.) Phofu ke, uThixo uye wanika amadoda isabelo sokongamela ebandleni. Oku kwamkelwa ngovuyo ngabafazi abaneentliziyo ezintle ngako konke ukuthobeka. Nembopheleleko enzima esi sabelo esiyibeka kumadoda yokuba angawugagameli umhlambi yamkelwa ngokuthobeka ngamadoda aqolileyo ebandleni.—1 Petros 5:2, 3.

Ukuba lunjalo ulwalamano phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi ebandleni, indoda engumKristu ingazithethelela njani ngokuba nguzwilakhe kumfazi wayo, udade wayo wokomoya? Yaye umfazi angazithethelela njani ngokukhuphisana nendoda yakhe ngobuntloko? Kunoko, bafanele baphathane njengoko uPetros waluleka onke amalungu ebandla esithi: “Cingani nto-nye nonke, velanani, thandanani njengabazalwana, yibani nemfesane kakhulu, yibani nobubele.” (1 Petros 3:8) Kwakhona uPawulos waluleka wathi: “Yambathani . . . iimfesane zeemfefe, ububele, ukuthobeka kwentliziyo, ubulali, ukuzeka kade umsindo, ninyamezelana, nixolelana, ukuba ubani uthi abe nokusola ngakubani; njengokuba naye uKristu wanixolelayo, yenjani njalo nani.”—Kolose 3:12, 13.

Izimo zengqondo ezinjalo zifanele zihlakulelwe ebandleni. Yaye ngokukhethekileyo zifanele zihlakulelwe phakathi kwendoda nomfazi ekhayeni lamaKristu. Indoda inokubonisa ububele nobulali bayo ngokuwaphulaphula amacebiso omfazi wayo. Ifanele iyiqwalasele imbono yomfazi wayo ngaphambi kokuba yenze isigqibo esichaphazela intsapho. Abafazi abangamaKristu abazoziphukuphuku. Ngokufuthi basenokunika amadoda abo amacebiso axabisekileyo, njengoko uSara wenzayo kwindoda yakhe, uAbraham. (Genesis 21:12) Kwelinye icala, umfazi ongumKristu akasayi kuba ngofuna izinto ngenkani ngokungekho ngqiqweni kwindoda yakhe. Uya kubonisa ububele nokuthozama ngokulandela ukhokelo lwayo nangokuxhasa izigqibo zayo, nakubeni maxa wambi zisenokwahluka kwindlela ebeya kuyikhetha.

Indoda ethantamisayo, njengomdala othantamisayo, iyangeneka yaye inobubele. Umfazi onothando usabela ngokuba nemfesane nokuzeka kade umsindo eyiqonda imigudu eyenzayo ukuphumeza iimbopheleleko zayo phezu kwako nje ukungafezeki neengcinezelo zobomi. Xa izimo zengqondo ezinjalo zihlakulelwa yindoda nomfazi, ukuthobela emtshatweni akusayi kuba yingxaki. Kunoko, kungumthombo wovuyo, unqabiseko, nolwaneliseko oluhlala luhleli.