Ukuba Ngumyeni Nokuba Ngumdala—Ukulungelelanisa Ezo Mbopheleleko
‘Umveleli ufanele abe yindoda yomfazi omnye.’—1 TIMOTI 3:2.
1, 2. Kutheni ukungatshati kwabefundisi kungaxhaswa ziZibhalo?
NGENKULUNGWANE yokuqala, amaKristu athembekileyo ayekuxhalabele ukuzilungelelanisa iimbopheleleko zawo ezahlukahlukeneyo. Xa umpostile uPawulos wayesithi umKristu ohlala engatshatanga “uya kwenza kakuhle ngakumbi,” ngaba wayethetha ukuba indoda enjalo yayiya kukufanelekela ngakumbi ukukhonza njengomveleli kwibandla lamaKristu? Eneneni, ngaba wayebonisa ukuba abadala bafanele bangatshati? (1 Korinte 7:38) Abefundisi bamaKatolika kufuneka bangatshati. Kodwa ngaba ukungatshati kwabefundisi kungokweZibhalo? IiCawa zamaOthodoki aseMpuma ziyabavumela abefundisi bazo ukuba babe ngamadoda atshatileyo, ngaphandle koobhishophu bazo. Ngaba oko kuyavisisana neBhayibhile?
2 Inkoliso yabapostile bakaKristu abali-12, ababeyila isiseko sebandla lamaKristu, yayingamadoda atshatileyo. (Mateyu 8:14, 15; Efese 2:20) UPawulos wabhala: “Sinegunya lokuthabatha udade njengomfazi, kwanjengabanye abapostile nabantakwab’ eNkosi noKefas [uPetros], akunjalo?” (1 Korinte 9:5) INew Catholic Encyclopedia iyavuma ukuba “umthetho wokungatshati weza necawa” kwanokuba “abalungiseleli beTestamente Entsha babenganyanzelekanga ukuba bangatshati.” AmaNgqina kaYehova alandela ukhokelo lweZibhalo kungekhona umthetho wecawa.—1 Timoti 4:1-3.
Ukuba Ngumdala Nokutshata Akungqubani
3. Ziziphi izibakala ezingokweZibhalo ezibonisa ukuba abaveleli abangamaKristu banokuba ngamadoda atshatileyo?
3 Kunokuncomela ukuba amadoda amiselwa njengabaveleli afanele abe akatshatanga, ebhalela uTito uPawulos wathi: “Ngenxa yesi sizathu ndakushiya eKrete, ukuze ulungise izinto ezazingalunganga nokuze umisele amadoda amakhulu [ngesiGrike, pre·sbyʹte·ros] kwizixeko ngezixeko, njengoko ndakunika imiyalelo; ukuba kukho nawuphi na umntu ongenakumangaleleka, indoda yamfazi mnye, enabantwana abakholwayo ababengamangalelwa ngoburheletyo nababengengabo abangalawulekiyo. Kuba umveleli [ngesiGrike, e·piʹsko·pos, igama eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “ubhishophu”] umele abe ngongenakumangaleleka njengegosa likaThixo.”—Tito 1:5-7.
4. (a) Sazi njani ukuba akuyomfuneko ukuba abaveleli abangamaKristu batshate? (b) Ziziphi iingenelo zokuba ngumzalwana ongatshatanga nongumdala?
4 Kwelinye icala, iZibhalo azibonisi ukuba umdala ufanele abe ngumntu otshatileyo. UYesu wayengatshatanga. (Efese 1:22) UPawulos, umveleli obalaseleyo webandla lamaKristu lenkulungwane yokuqala, wayengatshatanga. (1 Korinte 7:7-9) Namhlanje, kukho amaKristu amaninzi angatshatanga akhonza njengabadala. Ukungatshati kwawo kumele ukuba kuwanika ixesha elingakumbi lokunyamekela izabelo zawo njengabaveleli.
‘Indoda Etshatileyo Yahlulelene’
5. Sisiphi isibakala esingokweZibhalo abafanele basamkele abazalwana abatshatileyo?
5 Xa indoda engumKristu itshata, ifanele iqonde ukuba yamkela imbopheleleko entsha eza kufuna ixesha nengqalelo yayo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Indoda engatshatanga ixhalela izinto zeNkosi, indlela esenokuzuza ngayo inkoliseko yeNkosi. Kodwa indoda etshatileyo ixhalela izinto zehlabathi, indlela esenokuzuza ngayo inkoliseko yomfazi wayo, yaye yahlulelene.” (1 Korinte 7:32-34) Yahlulelene ngayiphi ingqiqo?
6, 7. (a) Yiyiphi enye indlela ‘eyahlulelene’ ngayo indoda etshatileyo? (b) UPawulos uwanika siphi isiluleko amaKristu atshatileyo? (c) Oku kunokusiphembelela njani isigqibo sendoda sokwamkela isabelo somsebenzi?
6 Phakathi kwezinye izinto, indoda etshatileyo ayisenalo igunya ngomzimba wayo. UPawulos wakwenza kwacaca oku: “Umfazi akasebenzisi gunya kowakhe umzimba, kodwa yindoda yakhe eyenjenjalo; ngokunjalo, nayo, indoda ayisebenzisi gunya kowayo umzimba, kodwa ngumfazi wayo owenjenjalo.” (1 Korinte 7:4) Bambi abacinga ngokutshata basenokuvakalelwa kukuba oku kuyinto engenamsebenzi kuba isini singayi kuba yinto ephambili emtshatweni wabo. Noko ke, ekubeni iZibhalo ziwayalela ukuba ahlale enyulu ngaphambi komtshato, amaKristu akazazi iintswelo ezingokwesini zomntu oza kuba liqabane lawo.
7 UPawulos ubonisa ukuba kwanesibini ‘esibeka ingqondo yaso kwizinto zomoya’ simele siziphaphele iintswelo ezingokwesini zelinye iqabane. Wawacebisa oku amaKristu aseKorinte: “Indoda mayinike umfazi wayo okumfaneleyo; kodwa nomfazi makenze ngokunjalo endodeni yakhe. Musani ukubandezana, ngaphandle kokuba kungokuvumelana okwexesha elimisiweyo, ukuze ninikele ixesha emthandazweni nize nibe ndawonye kwakhona, ukuze uSathana angathi gqolo enihenda ngenxa yokuswela kwenu ukuzeyisa.” (Roma 8:5; 1 Korinte 7:3, 5) Okulusizi kukuba, bambi baye bakrexeza ngenxa yokutyeshela eli cebiso. Ngenxa yoko, umKristu otshatileyo ufanele acinge nzulu ngaphambi kokwamkela isabelo somsebenzi oya kumenza angabi kunye nomfazi wakhe kangangethuba elide. Akasenayo inkululeko yokuya naphi na njengaxa wayengekatshati.
8, 9. (a) UPawulos wayethetha ukuthini xa wayesithi amaKristu atshatileyo ‘axhalela izinto zehlabathi’? (b) Yintoni afanele ayixhalabele amaKristu atshatileyo?
8 Kunokutshiwo ngayiphi ingqiqo ukuba amadoda atshatileyo angamaKristu, kuquka nabadala, ‘axhalela izinto zehlabathi [koʹsmos]’? (1 Korinte 7:33) Kucacile ukuba uPawulos wayengathethi ngezinto ezimbi zeli hlabathi, afanele aziphephe onke amaKristu okwenyaniso. (2 Petros 1:4; 2:18-20; 1 Yohane 2:15-17) ILizwi likaThixo lisiyalela “ukuba sizilumle kuko ukungabi nabuthixo nakwiminqweno yehlabathi [ko·smi·kosʹ] size siphile ngengqondo ephilileyo nangobulungisa nangozinikelo lobuthixo phakathi kwale nkqubo yezinto yangoku.”—Tito 2:12.
9 Ngoko ke, umKristu otshatileyo ‘uxhalela izinto zehlabathi’ kuba ufanele azixhalabele izinto zokwenyama eziyinxalenye yobomi bomtshato obuqhelekileyo. Oku kuquka ikhusi, ukutya, impahla, ukuzonwabisa—singasathethi ke ngezinye izinto ezininzi zaxa kukho nabantwana. Kodwa kwanakwizibini ezingenabantwana, ukuze umtshato wazo uphumelele, indoda okanye umfazi umele akuxhalabele “ukufumana inkoliseko” yeqabane lakhe lomtshato. Oku kubaluleke ngokukodwa kubadala abangamaKristu njengoko belungelelanisa iimbopheleleko zabo.
Abayeni Abalungileyo Kwanabadala Abalungileyo
10. Ukuze umKristu afaneleke njengomdala, yintoni abafanele bayibone abazalwana bakhe nabantu bangaphandle?
10 Ngoxa kungeyomfuneko ukuba umdala atshate, ukuba indoda engumKristu itshatile, ngaphambi kokuba inconyelwe njengomdala, ifanele inikele ubungqina bokuba izabalazela ukuba ngumyeni olungileyo nonothando, kwanokuba ibusebenzisa kakuhle ubuntloko. (Efese 5:23-25, 28-31) UPawulos wabhala: “Ukuba nawuphi na umntu uzabalazela isikhundla sobuveleli, unqwenela umsebenzi omhle. Umveleli ke ngoko ufanele abe ngongenakukhalazeleka, indoda yomfazi omnye.” (1 Timoti 3:1, 2) Kufanele kucace ukuba umdala wenza konke anako ukuze abe ngumyeni olungileyo, enoba umfazi wakhe ungumKristu okanye akunjalo. Eneneni, nabantu abangeyonxalenye yebandla bafanele babone ukuba uyamnyamekela umfazi wakhe kuquka nezinye iimbopheleleko zakhe. UPawulos wongezelela: “Ufanele kanjalo abe nobungqina obuhle obuvela kubantu bangaphandle, ukuze angaweli kungcikivo nakumgibe kaMtyholi.”—1 Timoti 3:7.
11. Lithetha ukuthini ibinzana elithi “indoda yomfazi omnye,” ngoko yintoni abafanele bayilumkele abadala?
11 Kakade ke, ibinzana elithi “indoda yomfazi omnye” lisikhuphela ecaleni isithembu, kodwa likwabhekisela nakwintembeko emtshatweni. (Hebhere 13:4) Abadala bafanele balumke ngokukodwa xa benceda oodade abasebandleni. Bafanele bakuphephe ukuhamba bodwa xa betyelela udade ofuna isiluleko nokuthuthuzelwa. Baya kuba benza kakuhle xa behamba nomnye umdala, isicaka solungiselelo, okanye abafazi babo ukuba ngumbandela nje wokwenza utyelelo lokukhuthaza.—1 Timoti 5:1, 2.
12. Yiyiphi inkcazelo abafanele bazame ukuyifikelela abafazi babadala nabezicaka zolungiselelo?
12 Kambe ke, ngoxa edwelisa izinto ezifunekayo kubadala nezicaka zolungiselelo, umpostile uPawulos wabaluleka nabafazi babo bafumana amalungelo anjalo. Wabhala: “Abafazi bafanele ngokunjalo bandileke, bangajindi, babe ngcathu ngokwemikhwa, bathembeke kwizinto zonke.” (1 Timoti 3:11) Indoda engumKristu inokwenza lukhulu ukunceda umfazi wayo ukuze abe nezo mpawu.
Imbopheleleko Yomfazi EngokweZibhalo
13, 14. Nokuba umfazi womdala akaloNgqina, kutheni efanele ahlale naye yaye abe ngumyeni olungileyo?
13 Kakade ke, esi siluleko esinikwa abafazi babadala okanye bezicaka zolungiselelo sibonisa ukuba abo bafazi bangamaKristu azahluleleyo. Ngokusisiseko, oku kusoloko kunjalo kuba amaKristu kufuneka atshate “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Kodwa kuthekani ngomzalwana owayesele etshate nomntu ongakholwayo xa wayesahlulela ubomi bakhe kuYehova, okanye onomfazi okreqayo yaye oko kungabangelwa nguye?
14 Oku bekungayi kumthintela ekubeni ngumdala. Noko ke, oko bekungayi kumnika isizathu sokwahlukana nomfazi wakhe kuba nje engakholwa. UPawulos wacebisa: “Ubotshelelwe emfazini na? Yeka ukufuna ukukhululeka.” (1 Korinte 7:27) Wongezelela wathi: “Ukuba nawuphi na umzalwana unomfazi ongakholwayo, ukanti yena evumelana nokuhlala naye, makangamshiyi. Kodwa ukuba lowo ungakholwayo uthi emke, makemke; umzalwana okanye udade akakhonziswa njengekhoboka phantsi kweemeko ezinjalo, kodwa uThixo unibizele eluxolweni. Kuba, mfazi, wazi njani na ukuba akuyi kuyisindisa indoda yakho? Okanye, ndoda, wazi njani ukuba akuyi kumsindisa umfazi wakho?” (1 Korinte 7:12, 15, 16) Nokuba umfazi wakhe akaloNgqina, umdala ufanele abe ngumyeni olungileyo.
15. Umpostile uPetros unikela siphi isiluleko kumadoda angamaKristu, yaye yiyiphi imiphumo enokubakho ukuba umdala uzingqina eyindoda engenankathalo?
15 Enoba umfazi wakhe uyakholwa okanye akunjalo, umdala ongumKristu ufanele aqonde ukuba umfazi wakhe uyakufuna ukunyanyekelwa. Umpostile uPetros wabhala: “Nina madoda, qhubekani nihlala nabo [abafazi benu] ngohlobo olufanayo ngokokwazi, nibanika imbeko njengesitya esibuthathaka ngakumbi, esobukhomokazi, ekubeni nikwaziindlalifa kunye nabo zobabalo lobomi, ukuze imithandazo yenu ingathintelwa.” (1 Petros 3:7) Indoda engazinyamekeli ngabom iintswelo zomfazi wayo ilubeka engozini ulwalamano lwayo noYehova; inokuyila umqobo phakathi kwayo noYehova ‘njengelifu, ukuze ungaphumeli umthandazo wayo.’ (IZililo 3:44) Oku kunokuyenza ingakufanelekeli ukukhonza njengomveleli ongumKristu.
16. Yiyiphi ingongoma ephambili eveliswa nguPawulos, yaye abadala bafanela bavakalelwe njani ngoku?
16 Njengoko kubonisiwe, eyona nto awayethetha ngayo uPawulos kukuba xa indoda itshata, iyawuncama umlinganiselo othile wenkululeko eyayinayo njengendoda engatshatanga neyayiyivumela ukuba ‘ikhonze iNkosi rhoqo ngaphandle kwesiphazamiso.’ (1 Korinte 7:35) Iingxelo zibonisa ukuba abanye abadala abatshatileyo bebengasoloko bewaqiqa kakuhle amazwi aphefumlelweyo kaPawulos. Benqwenela ukwenza oko bacinga ukuba kufanele kwenziwe ngabadala abalungileyo, basenokuzityeshela ezinye iimbopheleleko zabo njengabayeni. Bambi bakufumanisa kunzima ukungalamkeli ilungelo lenkonzo, nakuba ukulamkela kunokuba yingozi ngokomoya kubafazi babo. Bayawanandipha amalungelo afumaneka emtshatweni, kodwa ngaba bakulungele ukuzifezekisa iimbopheleko ezihamba nawo?
17. Kuye kwenzeka ntoni kwabanye abafazi, yaye oku bekunokuphetshwa njani?
17 Ngokuqinisekileyo, umdala ufanele abe nenzondelelo. Sekunjalo, ngaba umKristu ulungelelene ukuba izabelo zakhe zasebandleni, zimenza azityeshele iimbopheleleko zakhe ezingokweZibhalo ezinokuthanani nomfazi wakhe? Ngoxa enomdla wokuwanceda amalungu ebandla, umdala olungeleleneyo uya kuyixhalabela nempilo yokomoya yomfazi wakhe. Abanye abafazi babadala baye babuthathaka ngokomoya yaye bambi baye ‘bophukelwa yinqanawa’ yokomoya. (1 Timoti 1:19) Ngoxa iyimbopheleleko yomfazi ukulwela ukuba asinde, kwiimeko ezithile ingxaki yokomoya ibinokuphetshwa ukuba umdala ‘ebemondla aze amphathe ngononophelo’ umfazi wakhe, “njengoko noKristu esenjenjalo kulo ibandla.” (Efese 5:28, 29) Enyanisweni, abadala bamele ‘banikele ingqalelo kubo ngokwabo nakuwo wonke umhlambi.’ (IZenzo 20:28) Ukuba batshatile, oku kuquka nabafazi babo.
‘Imbandezelo Enyameni’
18. Ziziphi ezinye iinkalo ‘zembandezelo’ efunyanwa ngamaKristu atshatileyo, yaye inokuyichaphazela njani imisebenzi yomdala?
18 Lo mpostile wabhala noku: “Ukuba umntu onyulu utshatile, onjalo ebengayi kuba wenza sono. Noko ke, abo bathi benjenjalo baya kuba nembandezelo enyameni yabo. Kodwa mna ndiconga nina.” (1 Korinte 7:28) UPawulos wayefuna ukubaconga kumaxhala eza nomtshato abo banokukwazi ukulandela umzekelo wakhe wokungatshati. Kwanakwizibini ezingenabantwana, loo maxhala asenokuquka iingxaki zempilo okanye ezemali kwaneembopheleleko ezingokweZibhalo ngakubazali abalupheleyo beqabane likabani. (1 Timoti 5:4, 8) Emisela umzekelo omhle, umdala umele azamkele ezi mbopheleleko, yaye maxa wambi oku kusenokukuchaphazela oko anokukwenza njengomveleli ongumKristu. Okuvuyisayo kukuba, uninzi lwabadala luzisingatha kakuhle iimbopheleleko zabo zentsapho nezebandla.
19. Wayethetha ukuthini uPawulos xa wayesithi: “Abo banabafazi mababe njengokungathi bebengenabo”?
19 UPawulos wongezelela: “Ixesha eliseleyo lifinyele. Ukususela ngoku abo banabafazi mababe njengokungathi bebengenabo.” (1 Korinte 7:29) Kakade ke, ngenxa yoko wayekubhalile ngaphambilana kwesi sahluko seyabaseKorinte, kucacile ukuba wayengathethi ukuba ngandlel’ ithile amaKristu atshatileyo afanele abatyeshele ngokupheleleyo abafazi bawo. (1 Korinte 7:2, 3, 33) Wakuchaza oko wayekuthetha, xa wabhala oku: “[Mabathi] nabo balisebenzisayo eli hlabathi babe njengabo bangalisebenzisi ngokupheleleyo; kuba imeko yeli hlabathi iyatshintsha.” (1 Korinte 7:31) “Ihlabathi liyadlula” ngesantya esiphezulu ngoku kunangemihla kaPawulos okanye yompostile uYohane. (1 Yohane 2:15-17) Ngoko ke, amaKristu anemvo yokuba afanele ancame izinto ezithile exelisa uKristu akanakuluxhamla ngokupheleleyo uyolo namalungelo omtshato.—1 Korinte 7:5.
Abafazi Abanomoya Wokuzincama
20, 21. (a) Ziintoni abakulungeleyo ukuzincama abafazi abaninzi abangamaKristu? (b) Yintoni anokuyilindela umfazi kumyeni wakhe, kwanokuba ungumdala?
20 Kanye njengokuba abadala bencama izinto ezithile ukuze kungenelwe abanye, abafazi abaninzi babadala bazabalazela ukulungelelanisa iimbopheleleko zabo zomtshato nezilangazelelo zoBukumkani ezibalulekileyo. Amawaka abafazi abangamaKristu ayakuvuyela ukusebenzisana namadoda abo ukuze akwazi ukuphumeza izabelo zawo njengabaveleli. UYehova uyabathanda ngokwenjenjalo, yaye uyawusikelela umoya omhle abawubonakalisayo. (Filemon 25) Sekunjalo, isiluleko sikaPawulos esilungeleleneyo sibonisa ukuba abafazi babaveleli banokulindela ukuchitha ixesha yaye bafumane ingqalelo eyaneleyo kubayeni babo. Abadala abatshatileyo banembopheleleko engokweZibhalo yokuba bachithe ixesha kunye nabafazi babo ukuze bazilungelelanise kakuhle iimbopheleleko zabo njengabayeni nabaveleli.
21 Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ukongezelela ekubeni ngumyeni, umdala ongumKristu ungubawo? Oku kuyawongeza umthwalo wakhe yaye kuvula inkalo eyongezelelekileyo afanele ayongamele, njengoko siza kubona kwinqaku elilandelayo.
Impinda
◻ Ziziphi izibakala ezingokweZibhalo ezibonisa ukuba umveleli ongumKristu unokuba yindoda etshatileyo?
◻ Ukuba umdala obengatshatanga uyatshata, yintoni afanele ayixhalabele?
◻ Kungaziphi iindlela aye umKristu otshatileyo ‘axhalabele izinto zehlabathi’?
◻ Abafazi abaninzi babaveleli bawubonakalisa njani umoya omhle wokuzincama?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]
Nangona exakeka yimisebenzi yobuthixo, umdala ufanele amnyamekele umfazi wakhe