Xa Izinto Zingahambi Njengoko Ubulindele

KUWO nawuphi na umtshato iingxaki zinokuvuka, nkqu nokuba izinto bezibonakala zihamba kakuhle ngoxa bebesathandana abo batshatileyo. Kodwa yenzeka njani into yokuba abantu ebebefanalana kangaka ngaphambi komtshato batshintshe ngolu hlobo?

IBhayibhile ithi abo batshatileyo baya kufikelwa “ziingxaki.” (1 Korinte 7:28, IBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996) Ubukhulu becala ezi ngxaki zibangelwa kukungafezeki. (Roma 3:23) Ukongezelela, elinye iqabane okanye omabini asenokuba akayilandeli imigaqo yeBhayibhile. (Isaya 48:17, 18) Noko ke, maxa wambi indoda okanye umfazi utshata enolindelo olungekho ngqiqweni. Xa kunjalo, ukungaqondani kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinkulu.

Ulindelo Olungekho Ngqiqweni

Njengomyeni okanye inkosikazi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uye watshata unezinto ezininzi ozilindeleyo; ibe baninzi abanjalo. Khawukhe ucinge ngobomi owawunethemba lokuba uza kubuphila. Ngaba umtshato wakho awuyiyo into owawuyicinga? Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukugqiba ngelithi iingxaki azinakuconjululwa. Ukusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile kunokukunceda ulungelelanise izinto.a (2 Timoti 3:16) Okwangoku, kungakuhle ukuba ukhe uhlolisise ezinye zezinto owawuzilindele emtshatweni.

Ngokomzekelo, bambi baye bacinga ukuba umtshato uza kube uzaliswe luthando, njengoko uye uchazwe njalo kwiintsomi. Mhlawumbi wawucinga ukuba wena neqabane lakho niya kuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye okanye niya kuzicombulula lula iingxaki zenu ngendlela efanelekileyo. Abaninzi babekholelwa ukuba umtshato uya kubanceda baweyise umnqweno wesini. Kaloku lonke olu lindelo alukho ngqiqweni ngandlela ithile, nabantu abanalo bayaphoxeka.—Genesis 3:16.

Enye impazamo kukucinga ukuba ngokutshata nje umntu uya kusuka onwabe. Kakade ke, ukuba neqabane lomtshato kunokubangela uvuyo olukhulu. (IMizekeliso 18:22; 31:10; INtshumayeli 4:9) Kodwa ngaba kumele kulindelwe umtshato ucombulule zonke iingxaki? Abo bacinga njalo bazikhanda ngenyhek’ etyeni!

Xa Ungazichazi Izinto Ozilindeleyo

Asizizo zonke izinto ezilindelweyo ezingekho ngqiqweni. Ezinye ziquka iminqweno esengqiqweni. Noko ke, kusenokuvuka iingxaki ngenxa yezinto ezithile ezilindelweyo. Omnye umcebisi wemitshato uthi: “Ndiye ndibone amaqabane esiba nomsindo ngenxa yokuba elinye lilindele kwenziwe into ethile, ngoxa elinye iqabane lingazi kwanto ngaloo mnqweno.” Ukuze uqonde indlela okunokwenzeka ngayo oku, qwalasela lo mzekelo ulandelayo.

UThandeka utshata noThemba, ohlala kude gqitha nedolophu akhulele kuyo. Ngaphambi kokuba batshate, uThandeka ebeqonda ukuba ukufudukela kwenye indawo kuza kuba nzima—ingakumbi ekubeni engumntu oneentloni. Sekunjalo, ebenethemba lokuba uThemba uza kumnceda aqhelane nale meko. Ngokomzekelo, uThandeka ebelindele ukuba uThemba uza kusoloko enaye, amncede aqhelane nabahlobo bakhe. Noko ke, izinto azihambi ngalo ndlela. UThemba uncokola nabahlobo bakhe—elibele tu ngoThandeka ongabaziyo. UThandeka uvakalelwa kukuba akahoywanga. Uyazibuza, ‘Kutheni uThemba engandikhathalelanga kangaka nje?’

Ngaba ayikho ngqiqweni into elindelwe nguThandeka? Asingetsho. Ekuphela kwento ayifunayo kukuncedwa ngumyeni wakhe aqhelane nobu bomi butsha. UThandeka uneentloni, ibe yinto enzima kuye ukudibana nabantu abatsha abaninzi kangaka. Inyaniso kukuba, akazange amxelele umyeni wakhe ngengxaki yakhe. Ngoko ke, uThemba akayazi indlela avakalelwa ngayo uThandeka. Yintoni eza kwenzeka ukuba le meko iqhubeka inje? Ingqumbo kaThandeka inokuya isakheka, ibe ngokuhamba kwexesha usenokucinga ukuba umyeni wakhe akamkhathalelanga.

Mhlawumbi nawe uye waziva udanile yaye ubuhlungu xa iqabane lakho libonakala lingakukhathalelanga oko ukufunayo. Ukuba kunjalo, yintoni onokuyenza?

Thetha Phandle

Umntu unokudimazeka gqitha xa zingenzeki izinto azilindeleyo. (IMizekeliso 13:12) Nalapho, ikho into onokuyenza ukulungisa lo meko. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Isilumko siyawabala amazwi esiwathethayo; intetho yaso isenza silandelwe ngabantu.” (IMizekeliso 16:23, IBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996) Ngoko, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba kukho into esengqiqweni olindele ukuba yenziwe kodwa engenziwayo, thetha neqabane lakho ngayo.

Khetha ixesha elililo, indawo namazwi afanelekileyo uchaze izinto ezikukhathazayo. (IMizekeliso 25:11) Thetha ngokuzolileyo nangentlonelo. Khumbula ukuba injongo yakho—asikokulityhola kunoko kukulixelela iqabane lakho ngezinto olindele ukuba lizenze nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo.—IMizekeliso 15:1.

Kutheni ufanele ukwenze oku? Ngaba iqabane elinolwazelelelo belingamele likubone oko ukufunayo? Kusenokwenzeka ukuba iqabane lakho libona ngenye indlela kodwa liya kuziqwalasela iimfuno zakho xa ulichazela. Ukuchaza oko ukufunayo akuthethi ukuba umtshato wenu usengxakini kungathethi nokuba iqabane lakho alikhathali.

Ngoko sukuthingaza ukuthetha neqabane lakho. Ngokomzekelo, kwimeko echazwe ngaphambilana, uThandeka ebenokuthi kuThemba: “Ndiyabona ukuba kunzima ukuqhelana nabantu abaninzi kangaka abatsha. Ndicela undincede ndiqhelane nabo bonke de nam ndizive ndisekhaya.”

‘Khawuleza Ukuva’

Ngoku khawucinge ngalo umbandela. Masithi iqabane lakho liza kuwe likuxelele ukuba likhathazwa kukungazifezekisi kwakho izinto ebelizilindele. Ukuba oku kuyenzeka, liphulaphule. Sukuzama ukuzithethelela. Kunoko, ‘khawuleza ukuva, ucothe ukuthetha, ucothe ukuqumba.’ (Yakobi 1:19; IMizekeliso 18:13) Umpostile uPawulos wabongoza amaKristu: “Ngamnye makafune, kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.”—1 Korinte 10:24.

Oku ungakwenza xa uzibeka kwimeko yeqabane lakho. IBhayibhile ithi: “Nina madoda, qhubekani nihlala [nabafazi benu] ngokokwazi,” okanye njengoko inguqulelo ka-J. B. Phillip ibonisa, “nina madoda zamani ukubaqonda abafazi benu enihlala nabo.” (1 Petros 3:7) Kakade ke, nabafazi bamele benze okufanayo kubayeni babo.

Khumbula ukuba, enoba nifanelana kangakanani na neqabane lakho, aniziboni ngendlela efanayo zonke izinto. (Funda ibhokisi ethi “Bajonge Into Enye, Kodwa Bayibona Ngeendlela Ezahlukeneyo.”) Eneneni, oku kuluncedo, kuba kuhle ukuzijonga nangelinye iliso izinto. Wena neqabane lakho ninezinto ezahlukileyo enizilindeleyo emtshatweni wenu ezisekelwe kwiindlela enikhule ngazo. Ngenxa yoko, nisenokuthandana gqitha kodwa nilindele izinto zenzeke ngeendlela ezahlukileyo.

Ngokomzekelo, amaqabane angamaKristu awazi kakuhle umgaqo weBhayibhile wobuntloko. (Efese 5:22, 23) Kodwa, ubuntloko bumele busetyenziswe njani kwintsapho yenu, buze buthotyelwe njani? Ngaba nobabini nikhokelwa ngulo mgaqo weBhayibhile, ibe ngaba nenza umgudu onyanisekileyo wokuwulandela?

Isenokwahluka indlela enizibona ngayo izinto zemihla ngemihla. Ngubani oza kwenza imisebenzi ethile yasekhaya? Niza kuzibona nini izalamane zenu ibe niza kuchitha ixesha elingakanani nazo? Amaqabane angamaKristu angabonisa njani ukuba abeka izilangazelelo zoBukumkani kwindawo yokuqala ebomini bawo? (Mateyu 6:33) Ngokuphathelele umba wemali, kulula ukungena ematyaleni, ngoko kuhle ukuba noqoqosho. Kodwa kuthetha ukuthini ukuba noqoqosho? Imibandela enjengale imele ithethwe phandle nangentlonelo ibe oko kuya kuba luncedo.

Ukuthetha ngezo zinto kuya kubangela uxolo emtshatweni wenu, enoba ezinye izinto eninolindelo lwazo azikenziwa. Eneneni, niya kukwazi ukwenza ngokuvisisana nesibongozo sikaPawulos esithi: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.”—Kolose 3:13.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

BAJONGE INTO ENYE, KODWA BAYIBONA NGEENDLELA EZAHLUKENEYO

“Khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wesihlwele sabakhenkethi bebukele ubuhle obunomtsalane bembonakalo yelizwe. Nangona lonke elo qela libukele umbono ofanayo, mntu ngamnye uwubona ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Kutheni? Kungenxa yokuba mntu ngamnye unendlela eyahlukileyo azibona ngayo izinto. Akukho bantu babini bema ngokuthe ngqo kwindawo enye. Ngaphezu koko, asinguye wonke ubani otsolise amehlo kwindawo efanayo koko kujongiweyo. Mntu ngamnye ufumana inkalo eyahlukileyo etsala umdla wakhe ngokukhethekileyo. Oku kuyinyaniso emtshatweni. Kwanaxa kukho imvisiswano enkulu phakathi kwawo, akukho maqabane mabini anokuba nembono efana twatse ngemibandela. . . . Ukunxibelelana kuquka ukwenza umgudu wokudibanisa ezi yantlukwano kulwalamano lokuba nyamanye. Oku kufuna ukuba kubekho ixesha lokuncokola.”—IMboniselo, ka-Agasti 1, 1993, iphepha 4.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 11]

INTO ONOKUYENZA NGOKU

• Phinda uhlolisise izinto olindele ukuba zenziwe liqabane lakho. Ngaba zisengqiqweni? Ngaba ulindele ukuba lenze izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni?—Filipi 2:4; 4:5.

• Zama ukwenza uhlengahlengiso kuyo nantoni na engekho ngqiqweni oyilindeleyo. Ngokomzekelo, kunokuba uthi, “Asoze sixabane,” zixelele ukuba uya kwenza umgudu wokuba izinto eningaboni ngasonye kuzo nizicombulule ngoxolo.—Efese 4:32.

• Thethani ngezinto enilindele ukuba ngamnye wenu azenze. Ukuthetha ngezinto linyathelo elibalulekileyo lokufunda indlela yokubonisa uthando nentlonelo omnye komnye.—Efese 5:33.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]

‘Khawuleza ukuva’ izinto ezixhalabisa iqabane lakho