Isahluko 4

Ngaba Siyagabadela?

Yinyaniso okanye bubuxoki . . .

Kuphosakele naninina ukuba abantu abathandanayo babambane.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

Abantu abathandanayo basenokuziphepha iintlobano zesini kodwa babe netyala lohenyuzo.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

Ukuba abantu abathandanayo abaphathaphathani ngendlela evuselela inkanuko, oko kuthetha ukuthi abathandani ngokwenene.

□ Yinyaniso

□ Bubuxoki

NGOKUQINISEKILEYO ukhe ucinge ngezi zinto. Ngaphezu koko, xa nithandana kunokuba nzima ukwazi umda enimele ningadluli kuwo xa nibonakalisa uthando. Makhe sihlolisise ezi ngongoma zintathu zingasentla size sibone ukuba iLizwi likaThixo lisinceda njani ekuphenduleni umbuzo othi, “Ngaba siyagabadela?”

● Kuphosakele naninina ukuba abantu abathandanayo babambane.

Bubuxoki. IBhayibhile ayikwaleli ukubonakalisa uthando ngendlela eyamkelekileyo necocekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile isixelela ngomShulamikazi nesithandwa sakhe esingumalusi. Ukuthandana kwabo kwakunyulu. Kodwa kuyabonakala ukuba kukho iindlela ezithile ababebonakalisa ngazo uthando ngaphambi kokuba batshate. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Namhlanje abantu abasele beza kutshata basenokuvakalelwa kukuba kwamkelekile ukubonakalisa uthando ngendlela ecocekileyo.a

Noko ke, abantu abathandanayo kufuneka balumke ngeyona ndlela. Ukuphuzana, ukuwolana okanye ukwenza nantoni na enokuvusa iinkanuko zesini kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okubi. Nabantu ebebengazimiselanga kuziphatha kakubi, banokuwela kulo mgibe.—Kolose 3:5.

● Abantu abathandanayo basenokuziphepha iintlobano zesini kodwa babe netyala lohenyuzo.

Yinyaniso. Igama lantlandlolo lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “uhenyuzo” (por·neiʹa) linentsingiselo ebanzi. Libhekisela kuzo zonke iintlobano zesini phakathi kwabantu abangatshatanga yaye ngokuyintloko libhekisela ekusebenziseni amalungu esini ngendlela engafanelekanga. Ngaloo ndlela, uhenyuzo asikokuba neentlobano zesini kuphela kodwa kuquka nezenzo ezifana nokuphulula amaphambili omnye omntu, ukuba neentlobano zesini emlonyeni okanye ezimpundu.

Ngaphezu koko, iBhayibhile ayigwebi uhenyuzo kuphela. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala: “Iyabonakala ke yona imisebenzi yenyama, eyile, uhenyuzo, ukungahlambuluki, ihambo evakalala.” Wongezelela wathi: “Abo baqhelisela izinto ezinjalo abayi kubudla ilifa ubukumkani bukaThixo.”—Galati 5:19-21.

Kuthetha ukuthini “ukungahlambuluki”? Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ukungahlambuluki liquka ukungcola kwalo naluphi na uhlobo, intetho nezenzo. Ngokuqinisekileyo kukungcola ukufaka isandla ngaphantsi kwempahla yomnye umntu, ukukhulula omnye umntu iimpahla okanye ukumphulula amalungu afihlakeleyo, njengamabele. Ukuphulula amabele ekuthethwa ngako eBhayibhileni kubhekisela kubantu abatshatileyo kuphela.—IMizekeliso 5:18, 19.

Olunye ulutsha luyayidelela le milinganiselo yobuthixo. Lugabadela ngabom, okanye lufune ukuziphatha kakubi nabantu abahlukahlukeneyo. Abanye basenokuba netyala loko umpostile uPawulos akubiza ngokuba ‘yihambo evakalala.’ Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ihambo evakalala’ lithetha ‘ukugabadela, ukuqaqadeka nenkanuko engalawulekiyo.’ Ngokuqinisekileyo akufuni kwaziwa njengomntu ‘ongasazivayo konke konke ngokokuziphatha’ ngenxa yokuzinikela ‘kwihambo evakalala ukuze usebenze ukungahlambuluki kwalo lonke uhlobo lokubawa.’—Efese 4:17-19.

● Ukuba abantu abathandanayo abaphathaphathani ngendlela evuselela inkanuko, oko kuthetha ukuthi abathandani ngokwenene.

Bubuxoki. Ngokwahlukileyo kwiimbono zabanye, ukuphathaphathana ngendlela evuselela inkanuko akwenzi ulwalamano lube luqilima. Kunoko, kuphelisa ukuhlonelana nokuthembana. Khawucinge ngokwenzeka kuLaura. Uthi: “Ngenye imini umfana endandithandana naye wafika ekhaya umama engekho, wahlala sabukela umabonwakude. Ekuqaleni wabamba isandla sam. Ngesiquphe nje waqalisa ukundiphathaphatha. Ndandisoyika ukumnqanda, ndicinga ukuba uza kuba nomsindo afune ukuhamba.”

Ucinga ntoni? Ngaba lo mfana wayemthanda uLaura, okanye wayefuna nje ukwanelisa inkanuko yakhe? Ngaba umntu ozama ukukuhendela kwihambo engacocekanga ukuthanda ngokwenene?

Xa inkwenkwe ihendela intombazana ekubeni yonakalise isazela sayo sobuKristu esiqeqeshiweyo, yaphula umthetho kaThixo yaye oko kubonisa ukuba ayiyithandi ngokwenene loo ntombazana. Ngaphezu koko, xa intombazana inikezela lula, ivumela ukuba ixhatshazwe. Okubi nakakhulu kukuba yenza isenzo esingcolileyo—mhlawumbi de ihenyuze.b—1 Korinte 6:9, 10.

Zibekeleni Imida

Ukuba niyathandana, ninokukuphepha njani ukubonisa uthando ngendlela engafanelekanga? Elona khondo lobulumko kukubeka imida ecacileyo kwasekuqaleni. IMizekeliso 13:10 ithi: “Kwabo babhunga kunye kukho ubulumko.” Ngoko thetha nalo mntu uthandana naye uchaze indlela efanelekileyo yokubonakalisa uthando. Ukulinda de nithi swii luthando ngaphambi kokubeka imida kufana nokulinda de indlu yakho itshe ngaphambi kokufaka ialam.

Ewe, ukuncokola ngombandela ontununtunu ngolo hlobo kunokuba nzima—mhlawumbi kude kwenz’ iintloni—ingakumbi xa nisaqala ukuthandana. Kodwa ukumisela imida kunokuthintela iingxaki ezinzulu ezinokuvela kamva. Loo mida ifana nealam ekhalayo xa kusitsha. Ngaphezu koko, xa nincokola ngezi zinto niya kutsho nibone enoba luya kuphumelela kusini na ulwalamano lwenu. Eneneni, ukuzeyisa, umonde nokungazingci sisiseko sokuba neentlobano zesini ezanelisayo emtshatweni.—1 Korinte 7:3, 4.

Enyanisweni, akukho lula ukunamathela kwimilinganiselo kaThixo. Kodwa unokuyithemba imilinganiselo emiselwe nguYehova. Ngaphezu koko, kuIsaya 48:17, uzichaza ‘njengaLowo ukufundisa okuyingenelo kuwe, Lowo ukubangela unyathele endleleni ofanele uhambe ngayo.’ UYehova ufuna ukuba uphumelele!

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 24

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Uthando . . . aluziphathi ngokungandilisekanga.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 5.

ICEBISO

Phumani njengeqela, okanye niqiniseke ukuba nisoloko nikunye nomntu wesithathu. Ziphepheni iimeko ezinokuba yingozi, njengokuba nibe nedwa emotweni okanye endlwini.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Xa nithembisene ngomtshato, nifanele nithethe ngemibandela ephathelele isini. Kodwa ukuthetha ngesini ngenjongo yokuvuselela inkanuko kukungcola—enoba kusefowunini.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ndinokukuphepha ukuhendelwa ekuziphatheni okubi ngokuthi ․․․․․

Ukuba umntu endithandana naye undihendela kwihambo engcolileyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Yiyiphi imida onokuyibekela umntu wesini esahlukileyo?

● Chaza umahluko phakathi kohenyuzo, ukungcola nehambo evakalala.

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 46]

“Mna nomntu endiza kutshata naye siye safunda iincwadi ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni ezithetha ngokuhlala unyulu. Siyixabisa kakhulu indlela ezisincede ngayo ekugcineni izazela zethu zicocekile.”—ULeticia

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 44]

Kuthekani Ukuba Siye Sagabadela?

Kuthekani ukuba uye wabandakanyeka kwihambo engafanelekanga? Ungazikhohlisi ucinge ukuba unokuyilungisa wedwa le ngxaki. Omnye oselula wathi: “Ndandidla ngokuthandaza ndithi, ‘Sincede singaphindi sikwenze oku.’ Ngamanye amaxesha sasikwazi ukuzeyisa kodwa izihlandlo ezininzi asizange sikwazi.” Ngoko ke, thetha nabazali bakho. IBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso lihle: ‘Biza amadoda amakhulu ebandla.’ (Yakobi 5:14) Aba balusi bangamaKristu banokukunika isiluleko, icebiso nesohlwayo ukuze ukwazi ukuba nolwalamano oluhle noThixo kwakhona

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 47]

Ngaba ubuya kulinda indlu yakho itshe kuqala ngaphambi kokufaka ialam? Ngoko musani ukulinda de nithi swii luthando ngaphambi kokubeka imida yokuziphatha

Isahluko 5

Kutheni Ufanele Uhlale Unyulu?

“Ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndibe neentlobano zesini.”—UKelly.

“Ndivakalelwa ngathi kukho into engemanga kakuhle ngam kuba ndisenyulu.”—UJordon.

“NGABA usenyulu?” Ukuva nje umbuzo onjalo kunokukwenza urhwaqele! Kwamanye amazwe umntu oselula osenyulu ugqalwa njengowahlukileyo. Yiloo nto ebangela abantwana abaninzi abafikisayo babe neentlobano zesini!

Ukutsalwa Ngumnqweno Nempembelelo Yoontanga

Ukuba ungumKristu, uyazi ukuba iBhayibhile ithi umele ‘ukhwebuke kuhenyuzo.’ (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Nakuba kunjalo, usenokukufumanisa kunzima ukulawula umnqweno wakho wesini. Omnye umfana ogama linguPaul uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha, iingcinga zesini zithi qatha engqondweni ngaphandle kwesizathu.” Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezinjalo.

Noko ke, akumnandanga ukugculelwa ngenxa yokuba unyulu! Ngokomzekelo, kuthekani ukuba oontanga bakho bathi akuyondoda okanye ibhinqa lokwenene xa ungekabi nazo iintlobano zesini? UEllen uthi: “Oontanga bakho basenokwenza kubonakale ngathi ukuba neentlobano zesini kumnandi yaye yinto eqhelekileyo. Ukuba akunazintlobano zesini, ujongwa njengomntu ongafaniyo nabanye.”

Kodwa ikho into oontanga bakho abasenokungayikhankanyi ngokuphathelele isini. Ngokomzekelo, uMaria owaba neentlobano zesini nomfana awayethandana naye, uthi: “Emva koko ndaba neentloni. Ndandizithiyile, ndithiye naloo mfana.” Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezinjalo nakuba ulutsha oluninzi lungakuqondi oko. Enyanisweni, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kubangela umvandedwa!

Noko ke, uShanda oselula uthi, “Kutheni uThixo edale abantu abaselula ukuba babe nomnqweno wesini, esazi ukuba kufuneka bahlale benyulu de batshate?” Ngumbuzo omhle lowo. Kodwa khawucinge ngezi nkalo zilandelayo:

Ngaba umnqweno wesini kuphela komnqweno onawo? Akunjalo. UYehova uThixo ukudale waneemvakalelo neminqweno eyahlukahlukeneyo.

Ngaba ufanele wanelise nawuphi na umnqweno onawo? Akunjalo, kaloku uThixo ukwenze ukuba ukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho.

Sifunda ntoni koku? Ukuba neminqweno ethile kusenokungaphepheki, kodwa unako ukulawula oko ukwenzayo ngaloo mnqweno. Eneneni, ukwanelisa umnqweno wesini ngalo lonke ixesha kuphosakele yaye bubudenge, kufana nje nomntu obetha abanye qho xa enomsindo.

Enyanisweni, yayingeyonjongo kaThixo ukuba siwasebenzise kakubi amalungu ethu okuzala. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngamnye wenu [ufanele] akwazi ukusizuza esakhe isitya ngobungcwalisa nembeko.” (1 Tesalonika 4:4) Kanye njengokuba kukho “ixesha lokuthanda nexesha lokuthiya,” likho ixesha lokwanelisa umnqweno wesini nexesha omele uzibambe ngalo. (INtshumayeli 3:1-8) Ngapha koko, nguwe omele ulawule umnqweno onawo!

Kodwa yintoni omele uyenze xa umntu ekugculela, esithi, “Ngaba nyhani usenyulu?” Musa ukukhathazeka. Ukuba umntu uyakugculela, usenokuthi: “Ewe, ndisenyulu, yaye ndinebhongo ngaloo nto!” Okanye usenokuthi, “Andithandi ukuthetha nabanye abantu ngalo mbandela.”a (IMizekeliso 26:4; Kolose 4:6) Kwelinye icala, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba ufanele umphendule loo mntu ukubuzayo. Ukuba kunjalo, usenokumchazela izizathu ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni.

Ngaba zikho ezinye iindlela onokuphendula ngazo xa umntu ekubuza umbuzo othi “Ngaba nyhani usenyulu?” Ukuba kunjalo zibhale apha ngezantsi.

․․․․․

Isipho Esixabisekileyo

Uvakalelwa njani uThixo xa abantu begqiba ekubeni babe neentlobano zesini bengatshatanga? Masithi uthengele umhlobo wakho isipho. Kodwa uyasivula ungekamniki ngokwakho! Ngaba ubungayi kucaphuka? Ngoko khawucinge indlela anokuvakalelwa ngayo uThixo xa unokuba neentlobano zesini ungatshatanga. Ufuna ukuba ulinde de utshate ukuze unandiphe isipho seentlobano zesini.—Genesis 1:28.

Yintoni ofanele uyenze xa unomnqweno wesini? Funda ukuwulawula. Unako ukuwulawula! Thandaza kuYehova ukuba akuncede. Umoya wakhe unokukunceda ukwazi ukuzeyisa. (Galati 5:22, 23) Khumbula ukuba uYehova “akayi kubandeza nantoni na elungileyo kwabo bahamba ngokungenamposiso.” (INdumiso 84:11) UGordon oselula uthi: “Xa ndifikelwa yingcinga yokuba ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato akuphosakalanga kangako, kuye kuthi qatha indlela okuyingozi ngayo oko ngokomoya yaye ndiyaqonda ukuba akukho sono sifanele sonakalise ulwalamano lwam noYehova.”

Eneneni, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuhlala unyulu. Eyona nto ithob’ isidima, ezintloni neyingozi, kukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini. Ngoko ke, musa ukuvumela ihlabathi likuhlohle umoya walo wokucinga ukuba kukho into ephosakeleyo ngokubambelela kwimilinganiselo yeBhayibhile. Ngokuhlala unyulu, ukhusela impilo yakho, iimvakalelo zakho yaye—ngaphezu kwako konke, ukhusela ulwalamano lwakho noThixo.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 24

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

‘Ukuba nabani na wenze isigqibo entliziyweni yakhe, sokugcina ubunyulu bakhe, uya kuba wenza kakuhle.’—1 Korinte 7:37.

ICEBISO

Kuphephe ukunxulumana nabantu abanemilinganiselo ephantsi yokuziphatha, nokuba bathi iinkolelo zabo zonqulo ziyafana nezakho.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Abantu abaziphethe kakubi ngokwesini abadli ngokutshintsha naxa sele betshatile. Kodwa, abo babambelela kwimilinganiselo kaThixo xa bengekatshati badla ngokuthembeka nakumaqabane abo omtshato.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuze ndihlale ndinyulu de nditshate, ndifanele ․․․․․

Ukuba abahlobo bam abasixhasi isigqibo endisenzileyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Ucinga ukuba kutheni abanye bebagculela abo banyulu?

● Kutheni kunokuba nzima ukuhlala unyulu?

● Ziziphi iingenelo zokuhlala unyulu de utshate?

● Unokuzichaza njani iingenelo zokuhlala unyulu kumntwana wakowenu ongaphantsi kuwe?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 51]

“Into endikhuthazayo ukuba ndihlale ndinyulu kukwazi ukuba ‘akukho mhenyuzi namntu ungahlambulukanga unelifa ebukumkanini bukaThixo.’” (Efese 5:5)—ULydia

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 49]

Isalathiso Samaphepha

Yintoni Eye Yenzeke Ngokwenene?

Oontanga namajelo ezolonwabo awayichazi imiphumo emibi yokuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Khawucinge ngezi meko zintathu zilandelayo. Ucinga ukuba yintoni eza kwenzeka ngokwenene kolu lutsha?

● Umfana ofunda naye esikolweni uqhayisa ngokulala namantombazana amaninzi. Uthi kumnandi—akukho mntu usala esentlungwini. Ucinga ukuba yintoni ngokwenene eyenzekayo kamva—kuye nakula mantombazana athetha ngawo? ․․․․․

● Imovie iphela kanye xa inkwenkwe nentombazana besiba neentlobano zesini ukubonisa indlela abathandana ngayo. Yintoni ebiza kwenzeka kamva ukuba le ibingeyomovie? ․․․․․

● Udibana nenzwana ize ikucele ukuba nibe neentlobano zesini. Ithi akuyomfuneko ukuba kubekho mntu okwaziyo oko. Ukuba uyavuma, yaye ungaxeleli mntu, yintoni ngokwenene eza kwenzeka kamva? ․․․․․

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 54]

Ukuba neentlobano zesini ungatshatanga kufana nokuvula isipho ongekasinikwa