Singabanceda Njani Abachithekelwe Ngumtshado?

Kulomuntu othile omaziyo yini owachithekelwa ngumtshado? Bangabe bebanengi ngoba ukuchitha umtshado sekuyinto yansuku zonke. EPoland kwatholakala ukuthi abantu abaleminyaka engu-​30, asebeleminyaka emithathu kusiya kweyisithupha betshadile kukhangelelwe ukuthi bachithekelwe yimitshado yabo. Kodwa akusikho ukuthi yibo bodwa.

Inhlanganiso yaseSpain okuthiwa yi-Institute for Family Policy ithi: “Nxa kukhangelwa inani labantu abachithekelwa yimitshado, kukhanya angani [e-Europe] ingxenye yalabo abatshadayo izaphetha ngokuchitha umtshado.” Lokhu kwenzakala lakwamanye ame kuhle kwezomnotho.

UBUHLUNGU OBUQEDA AMANDLA

Kwenzakalani nxa umuntu sechithekelwe ngumtshado? Enye ingcitshi yase-Eastern Europe esilesikhathi eside iseluleka abatshadileyo ithi: “Ukuchitha umtshado emthethwandaba kuyisidindo nje, uyabe suchithekile kudala ngoba liyabe selivele lingasazwanani njalo selehlukene okwesikhatshana, okuyinto ebuhlungu kakhulu.” Yaphinda yathi: “Okujayelekileyo yikuthi uqalisa ukuzwa ubuhlungu obuqeda amandla​—⁠kungaba yikuzonda, ukuzisola, ukudana, ukuphelelwa lithemba kanye lenhloni.” Kwezinye izikhathi lokhu kwenza ucabange lokuzibulala. Yaqhubeka yathi: “Nxa indaba yokuchitha umtshado isiphelile emthethwandaba, sekuqalisa-ke olunye uhlupho. Ochithekelwe ngumtshado angazibona sengumuntu ongatsho lutho abesezibuza ukuthi: ‘Pho sengizasala ngiyini? Vele ngiphilelani?’ ”

Omunye umama okuthiwa ngu-Ewa uchaza indlela azizwa ngayo lapho umtshado wakhe uchitheka. Uthi: “Ngazibona ngingasela sithunzi ngemva kokuchitheka komtshado wami ngoba omakhelwana labanye basebengibiza ‘mazakhela.’ Lokhu kwakungicaphula kakhulu. Phela kwasekumele ngibe ngumama ngiphinde ngibe ngubaba wabantwabami ababili.”a Kanti njalo u-Adam owayesengumdala okweminyaka engu-12 uthi: “Ngizizwa ngingelasithunzi okokuthi kwezinye izikhathi ngiyacaphuka besengilingeka lokuthi ngizihlalele ngedwa, ngingakhulumi lomuntu.”

AKULULA UKUQHUBEKELA PHAMBILI NGEMPILO

Ngenxa yokuthi abanye bayabe sebekhathazekile ngekusasa labo, kuba nzima ukuthi baqhubekele phambili ngempilo lanxa sekwedlule iminyaka eminengi umtshado wabo wachitheka. Mhlawumbe bayabe sebezitshela ukuthi akula muntu olendaba labo. Kanti njalo enye intatheli yaloba ngendaba le yathi kuyabe sekumele “bantshintshe indlela abaphila ngayo, bafunde lokulwisana lezinhlupho zabo bebodwa.”

Omunye umfowethu okuthiwa ngu-Stanisław uthi: “Lapho umtshado wami usuchithekile, umama wabantwabami wayengasavumi lokuthi ngibabone. Ngasengicabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu wayengaselani lami lokuthi uJehova wayesengilahlile. Ngangingasakufuni ukuphila. Kodwa ngokuya kwesikhathi ngabona ukuthi engangikucabanga kwakungaqondanga.” Omunye udadewethu okuthiwa nguWanda laye owachithekelwa ngumtshado uthi: “Ngasengizitshela ukuthi ngokuya kwesikhathi bonke abantu kugoqela lengikhonza labo babezacina bengaselandaba lami labantwabami. Kodwa senginanzelela ukuthi abazalwane basifaka ekhwapheni sibili, bangincedisa lokuthi ngikhulise abantwabami babe yizikhonzi zikaJehova.”

Konke lokhu kutshengisa ukuthi kunengi kakhulu okukhathaza abantu asebechithekelwe ngumtshado. Bangazibona bengaqakathekanga njalo bazitshele lokuthi akusela muntu olendaba labo. Kanti njalo bangaphongusola wonke umuntu nje. Lokhu kwenza bacabange ukuthi abantu ebandleni abalazwelo njalo kababafuni phansi kwabo. Kodwa okwenzakala kuStanisław lakuWanda kutshengisa ukuthi balakho ukunanzelela ukuthi abafowethu labodadewethu balendaba labo sibili. Akuthandabuzwa ukuthi kunengi abakwenzayo ukuze bancedise nxa othile esechithekelwe ngumtshado.

LAPHO BEZIZWA BELESIZUNGU NJALO BELAHLIWE

Lanxa sizama sibili ukubancedisa, balakho ukubulawa yisizungu kwezinye izikhathi. Lokhu kujayele ukwenzakala ikakhulu kubodadewethu ngoba bayabe becabanga ukuthi balutshwana abantu abalendaba labo. Omunye wabo okuthiwa ngu-Alicja uthi: “Loba sengileminyaka engu-8 ngachithekelwa ngumtshado, ngiyake ngizizwe ngingelasithunzi. Ngiyabe ngingasafuni muntu phansi kwami, sengikhala njalo sengicabanga lokuthi impilo ingehlule.”

Okuchazwa lapha kujayelekile kakhulu abantwini abachithekelwa yimitshado. Loba kunjalo iBhayibhili lithi akukuhle ukuthi umuntu abe ngunkom’ idla yodwa. Ukungasilaleli isixwayiso lesi kufanana lokwala “zonke iziqondiso ezinhle.” (Zaga. 18:1) Kodwa umuntu olesizungu kumele aqaphele ukuthi ukhuluma lobani, ngoba angathi engumama ahlale efuna uncedo emuntwini ongubaba, kumbe engubaba ahlale edinga amacebo emuntwini ongumama, kuba lengozi yokuthi bacine beziphatha kubi.

Abafowethu labodadewethu asebachithekelwa ngumtshado bangazithola bephakathi kwelitshe lembokodo ngenxa yemizwa ebuhlungu kakhulu, kungaba yikukhathazeka ngokuthi izinto zizahamba njani empilweni lokubulawa yisizungu kumbe ukuzizwa belahliwe. Njengoba sikunanzelela ukuthi imizwa le ijayelekile njalo kunzima kakhulu ukulwisana layo, kumele silingisele uJehova ngokubancedisa, singabatshiyi. (Hubo. 55:22; 1 Phet. 5:6, 7) Kasithandabuzi ukuthi bangabonga kakhulu ngalokho esiyabe sibenzele khona besebebona ukuthi bakhona sibili abangane beqiniso ebandleni.​—Zaga. 17:17; 18:24.