Chimene Ana Amafuna Kuchokera kwa Makolo
KUPAMBANA kwa maphunziro a mwana sikuyenera kulingaliridwa kokha ndi magredi amene iye amalandira. Chofunika koposa chiri mapindu amene iye amakulitsa, miyezo yake ya makhalidwe abwino, mkhalidwe wake, ndi kulingalira kwake. Koma ndani yemwe ali ndi thayo lokulira kaamba ka kukula kwa mwana m’zigawozi?
“Makolo ali nalo,” akuyankha tero phungu wa sukulu wa nthaŵi yaitali. “Cholinga choyambirira cha maphunziro chiri kuchirikiza makolo kutulutsa ana achikulire okhala ndi thayo omwe ali okulitsidwa bwino lomwe mwa luntha, kuthupi, ndi maganizo.”
Aphungu a sukulu oterowo aphunzira mobwerezabwereza chimene chimagwira ntchito ndi chimene sichimagwira ntchito pamene chibwera ku kutulutsa achikulire ang’ono osinthidwa bwino. Roddy Cameron, phungu wina woteroyo, wachita ndi nkhani mazana angapo mkati mwa zaka. Iye anafunsidwa ndi Galamukani!: “Kodi nchiyani chimene ana ndithudi amafunikira kwambiri kuti apambane?”
Pambuyo pa kusinkhasinkha kwa kamphindi, iye anayankha kuti: “Mutandisonyeza ine mwana wovutitsidwa, ndipo mwaŵi uli wokulira wakuti ndingakusonyezeninso makolo ovutitsidwa.” M’kubwereramo mu zokumana nazo zake m’kulankhula ndi makolo oterowo, iye anadziŵitsa kuti: “Poyesera kulongosola kwa ine chifukwa chimene iwo amagwirira ntchito mwamphamvu chotero ndipo anafunikira kukhala kunja kuchoka kunyumba mochulukira chotero, iwo nthaŵi zonse amanena kuti amafuna kupatsa ana awo chimene iwo ndithudi analibe.”
Komabe, kodi mapindu a zakuthupi amene makolo ochulukira chotero anasowa pamene anali ana ali chimene ana ndithudi akufunikira? Kodi magalimoto a mtengo, zovala zabwino, ndi tchuthi chachilendo ziri zofunika kuti akhale ophunzira opita patsogolo, osinthidwa bwino? “Choipapo nchiyani ndi kukupata, kupsyompsyona, kukonda, kupereka chisamaliro?” anafunsa mwaubwino chotero Cameron. “Izi sizimawononga chirichonse, koma ziri zinthu zimene ana amafunikira kwambiri.”
Nthaŵi, Chikondi, ndi Kudera Nkhaŵa
Chisamaliro chachikondi chosamalitsa chiri chosowa chachikulu cha ana. Ndipo njira yokhutiritsa kwambiri imene makolo angaperekere icho iri kudzipereka iwo eni mopanda dyera, kupereka nthaŵi yawo, ndipo kusachititsidwa manyazi kusonyeza chikondi chenicheni, chosabisa ndi kudera nkhaŵa kozama. Mlembi mmodzi anadziŵitsa kuti mphatso yabwino imene munthu wina angapereke kwa mnzake iri “kukhala kumeneko.”
Mu broshuwa yake yakuti Plain Talk About Raising Children, U.S. National Institute of Mental Health inasimba zotulukapo za kufufuza kwa makolo achipambano. Iwo anazindikiritsidwa kukhala aja omwe ana awo, oposa pa zaka zakubadwa 21, “onsewo anali achikulire okhutiritsa omwe mwachiwonekere ankasintha bwino lomwe ku chitaganya chathu.” Makolo a achikulire ang’ono osinthidwa bwino amenewa anafunsidwa kuti: ‘Kuzikidwa pa zokumana nazo zanu zaumwini, kodi ndi uphungu wabwino wotani umene mungapereke kwa makolo ena?’ Yankho la kaŵirikaŵiri linali lakuti: ‘Kukonda mochulukira,’ ‘kupereka chilango momangirira,’ ‘kuthera nthaŵi pamodzi,’ ‘kuphunzitsa ana anu chabwino ku choipa,’ ‘kukulitsa ulemu wathithithi,’ ‘ndithudi mvetserani kwa iwo,’ ‘kupereka chitsogozo m’malo mwa mawu,’ ndipo ‘khalani owona.’
Kodi chimenecho chikumveka choseketsa, mkhalidwe wachikale? Komabe, makolo angadzifunse bwino lomwe iwo eni kuti: ‘Ngati chinachake chimagwira ntchito bwino, nchifukwa ninji kuchisiya icho kaamba ka chinachake chosiyana, chinachake chomwe sichigwira ntchito?’ Inde, nthaŵi, chikondi, ndi kudera nthaŵa zimapanga chogwirira chomwe chimagwiririra mabanja pamodzi. Iri ntchito ya kunyumba ya makolo kupereka zosowa zofunika zimenezi kaamba ka ana awo. Kukwaniritsa ntchito yawo kudzathandiza ana awo kukhala ophunzira achipambano ndipo kenaka kukhala achikulire achipambano. Palibe njira yaifupi, palibe cholowa m’malo, monga ngati kupereka zinthu zakuthupi kuganizira kuti kudzapanga kusiyanako.
Kuyerekezedwa ku Zomera
M’mikhalidwe yambiri, ana amakula ndi kukula monga zomera. Mlimi wachipambano amadziŵa chimene chimatenga kuti atute zinthu zabwino—nthaka ya chonde, yolimidwa bwino; dzuŵa lofunda; madzi; kupalira; ndi chisamaliro chochinjiriza. Kaŵirikaŵiri pali nthaŵi zovuta ndi kuwawidwa mtima m’njira yake, kufikira pa kututa. Koma alimi achipambano amakhala onyada motani nanga pamene awona mphatso zawo zotutidwa!
Motsimikizirika, moyo wa munthu uli wa mtengo kwambiri kuposa kututa kwa mlimi! Kodi iko, chotero, kungayembekezeredwe kuti zotulukapo zokhumbiridwa zingapezedwe ndi kuyesayesa kochepera? Osati molingana ndi kufufuza kwa makolo kochitidwa ndi National Institute of Mental Health, osatinso mogwirizana ndi unyinji wa makolo ndi ana a sukulu ofunsidwa ndi Galamukani! mkati mwa zaka ziŵiri zapitazo.
Kholo lachipambano limadziŵa kuti kulera mwana chimatenga ntchito. Mkhalidwe wa kunyumba uyenera kukhala wolondola, wokhala ndi kutentha kochulukira ndi kumvetsetsa. Mosamalitsa ndi mowumirira, makolo afunikira kukulitsa mwa ana awo chiyamikiro kaamba ka kuphunzira ndi kukhala ndi moyo. Moleza mtima iwo afunikira kusintha, kuyang’anira, ndipo mothandizana kugawana nthaŵi zovuta ndi zowawitsa mtima zomwe zimaipitsa njira yonse ya moyo. Ngati makolo achita zinthu zimenezi, mwaŵi uli wabwino kwambiri wakuti kututa kudzakhala wachichepere wachipambano.
[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 6]
‘Ndisonyezeni mwana wovutitsidwa, ndipo mwaŵi uli wakuti ine ndidzakusonyezani makolo ovutitsidwa’
[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 6]
Nthaŵi, chikondi, ndi kudera nkhaŵa zimapanga chogwirira chomwe chimagwiririra mabanja pamodzi