Kuyandikira kwa Mulungu Kunandithandiza Kulaka

NDINALIBE chikondwerero m’chipembedzo. Zipembedzo zonse zolinganizidwa zinawonekera kukhala zachinyengo kwa ine. Sindinawone kuti zinapindulitsa anthu, kusiyapo kokha kuwachititsa kukhala osalekerera ena. Kumeneko kunali kumapeto kwa ma 1960. Prezidenti wa ku United States anali ataphedwa, ndipo zikwi zambiri zinali kufa m’nkhondo ku Vietnam. Dziko linali loipa. Moyo wanga weniweniwo unali kunyonyotsoka. Kodi analipo motani Mulungu amene anayenera kusamala za ine kapena mtundu wa anthu?

Ndinali ndi zaka 27 zakubadwa, wokwatiwa wokhala ndi ana aŵiri aang’ono, ndipo ndinali kugwira ntchito nthaŵi yonse kumalo osungira anthu amisala pamene mnansi wanga anayamba kulankhula nane za Baibulo. Modabwitsa, ndiyamba kumvetsera. Iye analankhula za amene anawatcha masiku otsiriza. Analankhula mosiyana, ndipo ndinafuna mayankho. Anandisiira buku lamutu wakuti Coonadi Cimene Cimatsogolera ku Moyo Wamuyaya. Ndinaliŵerenga usiku umodzi ndi kuŵerenga malemba onse, ndipo ndinayamba kudabwa kuti, ‘Kodi ndapezadi chowonadi?’

Ngati ndachipeza, zimenezi zikapangitsa mavuto. Ndinabadwira m’banja Lachiyuda, ndinakwatiwa ndi mwamuna Wachiyuda ndipo ndinali ndi ana aang’ono aŵiri, ndi achibale Achiyuda. Ndinadziŵa kuti akakwiya ngati ndikhala mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova. Sindinafune kukwiitsa banja langa mosayenerera; ndinayenera kutsimikizira. Ndinayamba kuŵerenga mwakhama mabuku ofotokoza Baibulo. Mkati mwa mlungu umodzi ndinakhutira kuti chinalidi chowonadi. Ndinafunikira kuchiphunzira. Chotero ndinayamba kuphunzira ndi Mboni za Yehova. Mkati mwa milungu yochepa ndinali kulalikira kwa aliyense. Ndinasangalala kuphunzira kuti dzina la Mulungu ndi Yehova, kuti amasamalira ine ndi anthu onse, ndi kuti nkotheka kukhala ndi moyo wosatha padziko lapansi laparadaiso. Ndinabatizidwa pa June 12, 1970.

Monga ndinayembekezera, banja langa limodzi ndi apongozi ndi alamu anga anakwiya kwambiri, ndipo ena anandikana. Mwamuna wanga anaphunzira kwa apa ndi apo kwa zaka zambiri koma sanakhale wokhulupirira. Komabe, ana anga anadzakhala Mboni za Yehova. Kuyambira pachiyambi, ndinafuna kukhala minisitala wanthaŵi zonse, kulalikira mbiri yabwino ya Ufumu wa Mulungu kukhomo ndi khomo. Koma ndinali ndi banja lalikulu ndi mwamuna wosakhulupirira. Ngakhale kuti ndinali kugwira ntchito nthaŵi yonse, tinataikiridwa nyumba ziŵiri, ndipo nthaŵi zambiri tinalibe pokhala. Zinthu zinali zovuta.

Nthaŵi ina nyumba yathu inali pafupi kulandidwa. Tinayenera kuchoka m’nyumbamo pofika Sande masana, ndipo tinalibe kopita. Ndinachita zonse zomwe ndikanatha, ndipo pofika Loŵeruka m’maŵa, litangotsala tsiku limodzi, ndinagamulapo kuchita zimene Yesu ananena pa Mateyu 6:33—kufunafuna Ufumu choyamba ndi kudikirira Yehova kupereka zinthu zofunikira. Ndinapita muuminisitala wanga wapoyera. Ndikumbukira kuti ndinalira chifukwa cha chipsinjo chimene mkhalidwewo unapangitsa, koma patapita mphindi zisanu ndinamva bwinopo. Nthaŵi zonse ndapeza kuti kulalikira kumakhala ndi chiyambukiro chabwino pa ine; kumandilola kupirira mavuto anga, ndipo mzimu wa Yehova umandipangitsa kukhala wachimwemwe ndi wobala zipatso ndipo umapangitsa moyo wanga kukhala watanthauzo. Eya, pamene ndinafika kunyumba tsiku limenelo, tinali tikalibe kopita, koma ndinamva bwino.

Madzulo amenewo tinalandira telefoni kuchokera kwa nthumwi zowona malo zimene zinali kusamalira zosoŵa zathu. Nthaŵi inali 11:30 p.m., ndipo nthumwi yowona zamalowo inali yodera nkhaŵa kwambiri kuti tinalibe kopita kotero kuti anatipezera malo okhala kwakanthaŵi kufikira pamene nyumba imene tinafuna kutenga itakonzedwa. Chotero Mboni zinzanga zinatithandiza kusamukira m’nyumba imeneyo pa Sande. Tinakhala kumeneko, osamasula katundu kwa milungu itatu, ndipo pomalizira pake tinasamukira m’nyumba yathu pamene inatha. Sizinali zokhweka, koma Yehova anatipatsa zosoŵa zathu. Zimenezi zinandilimbikitsa kwambiri ndi kumangirira chikhulupiriro changa. Zinali monga momwe Mfumu Davide ananenera pa Salmo 37:25 kuti: “Ndinali mwana ndipo ndakalamba: ndipo sindinapenya wolungama wasiyidwa, kapena mbumba zake zilinkupempha chakudya.”

Kunali kovuta kusamalira ndalama za banja. Nthaŵi zina ndinatenga thayo losamalira ndalama ndi kuwongolera zonse. Ndinayesa kusunga ukwati wathu mkati mwa zaka zimenezi, kwakukulukulu chifukwa cha chikondi changa kwa Yehova ndi ulemu ku kakonzedwe ka ukwati, ndipo mofunitsitsa ndinayembekeza kuti mwamuna wanga akasintha ndi kubwera m’chowonadi.

Ndinapemphera mosalekeza ponena za kuchita upainiya wokhazikika, ndipo ndinalembetsa upainiya wothandiza pa mwaŵi uliwonse.a Ndinadziŵa kuti kulalikira kunali njira yabwino koposa ndi yofunika imene ndingagwiritsire ntchito moyo wanga. Ndinamkonda Yehova ndipo ndinafuna kumtumikira ndi moyo wonse. Ndinakondanso anthu ndipo ndinafuna kuwathandiza. Ndinazindikira mwa zokumana nazo zanga zovuta kuti malamulo amkhalidwe a Baibulo anali opindulitsa ndipo ndinadziŵa kuti anthu anafunikira chiyembekezo chimene Ufumu umapereka. Koma ndinawopa kuti banja langa lidzavutika ngati sindigwira ntchito. Tinali kuvutika kale.

Ndinafuula, Wogwirira Chigololoyo Anathaŵa

Ndiyeno chinachake chinachitika m’moyo wanga chimene chinandipatsa chikhulupiriro kuti Yehova adzathandiza ndi kundisamalira nthaŵi zonse. Munthu wina analoŵa m’nyumba mwanga nayesa kundigwirira chigololo. Anandiukira ndili gone, ndipo pamene ndinadzuka, anawopseza kuti adzandipha ngati ndifuula kapena kuyenda. Ngakhale kuti ndinachita mantha kwambiri, Yehova anandithandiza kuchita bata ndi kukhala ndi maganizo akupemphera ndi kulingalira njira yabwino koposa yochitira zinthu. Ndinadziŵa kuti Baibulo limanena kanthu ponena za kufuula, koma ndinalingaliranso kuti mwina adzandiphadi ngati ndifuula, ndiyeno ana anga adzadzuka, ndipo adzawapha. Ndinawona m’maganizo mwanga dzina langa pachiliza ndipo ndinapemphera kuti Yehova achinjirize ana anga ngati ndifa. Ngakhale zinali choncho, ndinachita zimene Baibulo linanena—ndinafuula. (Deuteronomo 22:26, 27) Wogwirira chigololoyo anathaŵa. Ndinakhulupirira kuti ndikafadi usiku umenewo. Ndinayandikira kwambiri kwa Yehova.

Ndinasiya ntchito yanga ndi kuyamba kutumikira monga mpainiya wokhazikika mu 1975. Ndinachita upainiya kwa zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi, ndipo mwamuna wanga analipira ngongole zonse. Momvetsa chisoni, ndinadwala matenda a suga pamsinkhu wauchichepere ndipo ndinadwala kwambiri nthaŵi ina. Kuti ndilake mkhalidwewo, ndinapitiriza kudalira pa Yehova koposapo. Mosasamala kanthu za mikhalidwe yanga, zimenezo zinali zaka zachimwemwe koposa ndi zopindulitsa panthaŵiyo. Yehova anandidalitsa ndi ophunzira Baibulo ambiri amene anafika pakubatizidwa. Ena anakhala apainiya.

Ndiyeno, mu 1980, moyo wathu unanyonyotsoka. Chidani chinabuka pakati pa ine ndi mwamuna wanga. Ana anga anakwiya kwambiri, chotero ndinayesayesa kusunga ukwati wathu chifukwa cha iwo, koma mwamuna wanga sanavomereze zoyesayesa zanga. Panthaŵiyi, ndinadziŵa kuti inafika nthaŵi yakutenga chisudzulo Chamalemba. Chiyambukiro chimene kuchoka kwake kunali nacho pa ana anga chinali chosakaza.

Ndinayesayesa mothedwa nzeru kupitiriza kuchita upainiya panthaŵiyi ndipo ndinakhoza kupitiriza kwa pafupifupi chaka chimodzi. Komabe, mwana wanga wamkazi, polephera kupirira mkhalidwewo, anayamba kupandukira zilizonse, kuphatikizapo ine ndi chowonadi. Ndinaleka kuchita upainiya nthaŵi imeneyi chifukwa cha khalidwe lake. Zinandikwiitsa kwambiri; chochilikiza moyo wanga chinachotsedwa. Ndinali wosungulumwa, ngati kuti onse ananditaya kusiyapo Yehova yekha.

Panali pafupifupi panthaŵi imeneyi pamene Yehova anapereka abale aŵiri okondedwa amene anandithandiza kuposa mmene adzachitiranso konse. Mmodzi anali woyang’anira dera, ndipo winayo anali mkulu wa mpingo wina amene anadziŵa mikhalidwe yathu, popeza kuti anaphunzirapo ndi mwamuna wanga. Sindingathe kumthokoza mokwanira Yehova chifukwa cha mphatso zimenezi mwa amuna. Iwo adzakhala okondedwa kwa ine nthaŵi zonse.

Pasanapite nthaŵi yaitali, pamsinkhu wachichepere kwenikweni, mwana wanga wamkazi anakwatiwa kunja kwa chowonadi. Zimenezi zinakhwethemula banjalo ndipo tinachita chisoni chachikulu. Mwamsanga pambuyo pake mwana wanga wamwamuna anachoka panyumba. Ndinapemphera mosalekeza kwa Yehova kuthandiza banja langa kupirira m’chowonadi. Iwo anali amtengo wake kwa ine, ndipo chinthu chokha chimene ndinafuna chinali chakuti akhalebe ndi Yehova. Limeneli linakhala pemphero losalekeza mkati mwa moyo wanga m’chowonadi. Nthaŵi imeneyo inali yoipitsitsa kwa ine kuposa zaka zonse 20 za ukwati—ndipo zaka zaukwatizo zinali zoipadi. Komabe, ndinadziŵa kuti mwanjira ina Yehova adzatithandiza, ndipo zivute zitani, ndinayenera kuchita chifuniro chake.

Ndimakumbukira bwino chochitika china. Ndinali ndidakachita upainiya, ndipo tinalibe ndalama koma tinafuna pafupifupi $70 kuti timalize mlungu ndi kukhala ndi ndalama zolipirira zoyendera kupita kuntchito mlungu wotsatira. Ndinagwira ntchito yaganyu masiku aŵiri. Kaŵirikaŵiri, ndinadikira kwa pafupifupi mlungu umodzi kuti ndilandire malipiro—pafupifupi $40. Ndinalibe ndalama zogulira chakudya, ndi zoyendera. Usiku wotsatira ndinachititsa phunziro Labaibulo kwa mkazi wina amene anandithandiza ndi ndalama zolipirira sitima.

M’mawa wotsatira unali Lachisanu. Ndinapita kukatenga makalata, ndipo panali makalata aŵiri. Yoyamba inali cheke chandalama chomwe ndinali kuyembekezera kubwera mlungu wotsatira. Chinatumizidwa ku banki ndipo akubankiwo anachiika ku akaunti yanga m’masiku osakwanira atatu. Ndinadabwa kwambiri. Ndinafunikirabe $29 kapena $30. Mu envulupu yachiŵiri munali cheke cha $29, ndalama zomwe ndinafunikira. Chinthu chodabwitsa kwambiri nchakuti mu February chaka chimenecho, boma linandipatsa mphatso ya ndalama zogulira mafuta ofunditsira m’nyumba. Tsopano munali mu August, ndipo linaganiza kuti linali ndi ngongole ya $29—mu August, kaamba ka kufunditsira? Kodi nchifukwa ninji linalingalira kuti linali ndi ngongole, ndipo nikhala ya mafuta ofunditsira nyumba mu August? Ha, zimenezi zinali ndi chiyambukiro cholimbitsa chikhulupiriro chotani nanga kwa ine!

Zinthu Zakuthupi Sizili Yankho

Ndinayamba kugwira ntchito yakuthupi yanthaŵi yonse ndipo ndinaphunzira kugwiritsira ntchito makompyuta pa ntchito zimene ndinasankha. Zaka zimene sindinachite upainiya zinali zovuta kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti ndinali ndi ntchito yabwino ndipo ndinali ndi chisungiko chachuma ndi zinthu zakuthupi, sindinali wachimwemwe. Ana anga anayamba kukhala kwaokha ndipo anali ndi mavuto aakulu. Mwana wanga wamkazi anayamba kubwerera m’chowonadi koma anali ndi mavutobe. Mwana wanga wamwamuna analinso ndi mavuto. Pambuyo pa nthaŵi yakutiyakuti, ndinawona kuti ndinali kutaya unansi wathithithi ndi Yehova umene ndinakonda kwambiri. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinali kuchoka kwa Yehova ngakhale kuti palibe munthu wina akadawona. Ndinapezekapo pa misonkhano yonse, ndinaphunzira, kupita muutumiki, koma zimenezo sizinali zokwanira. Ndinayesa kuyanjana kwambiri ndi mabwenzi, koma zimenezonso sizinathandize.

Ndinayamba kudzimvera chisoni. Ndinayamba kulingalira za ine mwini. Kodi sindinafunikire chinachake chowonjezereka? Mwachidziŵikire, kulingalira koteroko nkumene Satana anafuna. Kwanthaŵi yoyamba, ndinadzimva kukhala wokokedwera kwa anzanga ogwira nawo ntchito. Ndinalingalira kuti, ‘Eya, ndidzalalikira kwa iwo.’ Ndipo ndinaterodi. Koma mkatikati ndinazindikira kuti mtima wanga unayamba kunyalanyaza zinthu zimene suyenera kuzinyalanyaza. Sanali mavuto akunja. Koma inemwini. Ndinalephera kuthaŵa chikumbumtima changa chophunzitsidwa ndi Baibulo. Ndinapemphera kwa Yehova.

Ndinali kugwira ntchito nthaŵi yonse. Ndinafunikira kulepa chisungiko chakuthupi chomwe ndinapeza. Ndinali kuyenda maola atatu patsiku kuchoka ku Long Island kumka ku Wall Street. Nthaŵi yambiri kwabasi! Ndiponso, kuchita ndi anthu akunja ambiri m’masitima sikunawongolere mkhalidwewo. Ndinayamba kulankhula kwa akulu ndi kupita kumisonkhano kothera kwa mlungu kuti ndithandizidwe kusumika pa zinthu zofunika koposa. Kwanthaŵi yoyamba m’moyo wanga, sindinadere nkhaŵa ndi zinthu zakuthupi, chotero nchifukwa ninji ndinafuna kulimbana nazo kachiŵiri? Pambuyo pa chaka chimodzi chakupemphera, kulingalira mosamalitsa kuti kaya ndisinthe mkhalidwe wanga, ndinaterodi.

Ndinasamukira ku dera la Brooklyn Heights. Ndinachezera mpingowo ndipo ndinadziŵa kuti uzimu wakumeneko ndiwo umene ndinafunikira. Kuwona Mboni zambiri zokhulupirika zotumikira nthaŵi yonse kwa zaka zambiri kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti ndiko kumene ndiyenera kukhala. Pa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yokha ndinali wokonzeka kusiya ntchito yanga ndi kuchita upainiya. Ndinapeza ntchito yaganyu, ndipo mu 1984, ndinaikidwanso monga mpainiya wokhazikika.

M’zaka zonsezi, Yehova wapereka madalitso odabwitsa kwa ine, limodzinso ndi maphunziro ambiri opindulitsa kwabasi. Ndayesayesa kukhala ndi chiyembekezo ndi kuphunzirira pa chiyeso chilichonse. Kukhala ndi mavuto sikochititsa manyazi; tchimo limakhalapo ngati sugwiritsira ntchito malamulo amkhalidwe a Baibulo kuthetsera mavutowo. Kuno ku Brooklyn, ndilibe mavuto ofananawo amene ndinali nawo m’zaka zanga zoyamba m’chowonadi. Ndalama sizilinso vuto. Mwamuna wosakhulupirira salinso vuto. Mtima wanga wakonzedwa. Ndadalitsidwa ndi ana ambiri auzimu.

Koma nthaŵi zonse pamakhala mavuto ndi zitokoso zatsopano. Mu 1987 mwana wanga, Marc, anadwala malingaliro nachita tondovi kwambiri, koma Yehova watithandiza. Tsopano Marc akukalimira ndipo akuchita bwino mumpingo. Mwana wanga wamkazi, Andrea, anabwerera m’chowonadi nabatizidwa ndipo akulerera ana ake m’chowonadi. Popeza kuti tikuyandikira mofulumira chisautso chachikulu, ndimayembekezera mavuto kupitiriza ndipo mwinamwake kukhala ovuta kwambiri, koma nthaŵi zonse Yehova adzakhalapo kutithandiza kupyola zopinga kapena zitokoso zilizonse zimene tingakumane nazo.

Zowonadi, Yehova wandithandiza kukhala ndi moyo wachimwemwe kwambiri ndi wobala zipatso. Ndimayang’ana kutsogolo kuthera moyo wonse kuyandikira kwa iye ndi kuchita chifuniro chake.—Monga momwe yasimbidwira ndi Marlene Pavlow.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Marlene Pavlow, mlaliki wa nthaŵi yonse wa mbiri yabwino Yaufumu