Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingachotse Motani Maganizo Anga pa Osiyana Nawo Ziŵalo?

‘TSIKU ndi tsiku, zoulutsira nkhani zimafooketsa mphamvu ya makhalidwe ya achinyamata ndi minyozo ndi mawu oseleula onena za kugonana; nyimbo za rock zimalirira m’makutu mwawo zikumanena za maunansi akugonana; miyulu ya manovelo achikondi ogulidwa kwambiri imakulunga mchitidwe wakugonana m’maloto ozuna kwambiri okhoza kumezedwa monga maswiti.’ Anatero mlembi Lesley Jane Nonkin. Inde, monga wachinyamata, mumalandira chilimbikitso chochuluka kuchokera m’zoulutsira nkhani cha kuganiza za osiyana nawo ziŵalo.

Ndithudi, nkoyenera kukhala ndi chikondwerero chakutichakuti mwa osiyana nawo ziŵalo.a Koma pamene malingaliro achikondi, kulota muli maso, ndi kuyerekezera zilamulira malingaliro anu kwakuti zidodometsa tulo tanu, mapemphero, homuweki, kuŵerenga Baibulo, kapena ntchito zapanyumba, pamenepo zimasonyeza kuti mkhalidwewo wakhala wowopsa kwa nthaŵi yakutiyakuti. Indedi, kutengeka maganizo kosayenera kotero kungachititse khalidwe loipa.—Yakobo 1:14, 15.

Sikuti muyenera kuleka kuona kuti atsikana—kapena anyamata—aliko. Koma monga momwe Miyambo 23:12 imanenera, mufunikira ‘kulozetsa mtima wanu kumwambo.’ Ayi, palibe chothetsera chapafupi, palibe mankhwala amwamsanga okuthandizani kuchita zimenezi. Komabe, mwa kuyesayesa, mungachititse kalingaliridwe kanu kukhala kachikatikati mokulirapo. Tiyeni tipende njira zingapo zogwira ntchito zimene mungachitire zimenezi.

Samalani Mayanjano Amene Mumakhala Nawo

Tapendani mosamalitsa mayanjano amene mumakhala nawo. Mnyamata wina akuvomereza kuti: “Aliyense wokhala pafupi nanu amalankhula za chisembwere monga ngati kuti chili choyenera mofanana ndi kupita kukadya.” Kodi kumvetsera makambitsirano otero mosalekeza kungakuyambukireni? Mosakayikira konse. Malinga ndi kufufuza kwina pa achichepere, atatu mwa anayi alionse anavomereza kuti “kukhala wofanana (kapena wosiyana) ndi gulu kumalamulira mikhalidwe yawo yamaganizo kulinga kwa osiyana nawo ziŵalo.”

Bwanji ponena za mabwenzi anu? Kodi kukambitsirana kulikonse kumaloŵa m’makambitsirano amphamvu onena za wina wosiyana naye chiŵalo? Kodi nkhani zoterozo kaŵirikaŵiri zimakhala zosalamulirika nizikhala zodzutsa chilakolako kapena malingaliro oipa? Ngati zimatero, kutengamo mbali—kapena kungomvetsera—kungakuchititse kukhala kovuta kwa inu kusumika maganizo anu pa zinthu zoyera. Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Tayani inunso zonsezi mkwiyo, kupsa mtima, dumbo, mwano, zonyansa zotuluka m’kamwa mwanu.”—Akolose 3:8.

Komabe, kudzakhala kovuta kugwiritsira ntchito uphungu umenewu ngati mabwenzi anu samazindikira kwambiri malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo; mosakayikira mikhalidwe yawo yamaganizo idzakuyambukirani m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. (Miyambo 13:20) Talingalirani chokumana nacho cha mtsikana wina Wachikristu, amene anati: “Sindinafune kuuza anzanga kusukulu kuti ndinali mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova. Chotero nthaŵi zonse iwo ankalankhula nane momasuka za kugonana.” Posapita nthaŵi anachita chisembwere nakhala ndi pathupi. Miyambo 9:6 mwanzeru imachenjeza kuti: “Siyani mayanjano a anthu opulukira, nimukhale ndi moyo. Tsatirani njira ya chidziŵitso.” (Today’s English Version) Inde, khalani ndi mabwenzi amene ali ndi makhalidwe ndi miyezo Yachikristu yonga yanu, mabwenzi amene adzakumangirirani mwauzimu—osati okufooketsani.

Ndithudi, ngakhale Akristu achichepere amene nthaŵi zambiri amasonyeza mkhalidwe waumulungu ‘angakhumudwe pa mawu’ nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. (Yakobo 3:2) Zimenezo zitachitika ndipo kukambitsiranako kutayamba kutenga njira yolakwa, kodi mungachite chiyani? Baibulo limatiuza kuti Mfumu Solomo inatengeka maganizo ndi mtsikana wina mbusa. Komabe, mtsikanayo sanamsonyeze chikondi. Pamene mabwenzi ena achichepere anayesa kudzutsa chikondi chake pa Solomo, sanalole kugonjetsedwa ndi nkhani zachikondi. Iye analankhula, akumati: “Ndikulumbirirani, . . . kuti musautse, ngakhale kugalamutsa chikondi, mpaka chikafuna mwini.” (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:7) Mofananamo, tingafunikire kulankhula pamene nkhaniyo ikhala yosalamulirika. Ayi, simutofunikira kupereka uphungu kwa mabwenzi anu. Koma mungayese kungosintha nkhaniyo, kusinthira kukambitsiranako kunjira yoyenerera kwambiri.

Zosangulutsa—Kufunikira kwa Kukhala Osankha

Mbali ina yofuna kusamala ndiyo zosangulutsa. Kanema, vidiyo, kapena disc yatsopano ingaoneke kukhala yokopa. Komabe, Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti: “Chilichonse cha m’dziko lapansi, chilakolako cha thupi ndi chilakolako cha maso, matamandidwe a moyo, sizichokera kwa Atate, koma ku dziko lapansi.” (1 Yohane 2:16) Monga kwatchulidwa poyamba, zochuluka za zosangulutsa zalero zimalinganizidwa kudzutsa chilakolako cha kugonana. Mwachitsanzo, nyimbo zotchuka ndi mafilimu zakhala zovumbula mowonjezereka—kaŵirikaŵiri zaumaliseche.

Kodi kupezeka kwanu pa zosangulutsa zotero kungakuyambukireni motani? Mlembi John Langone akuti: “Kufufuza kungapo kwasonyeza . . . kuti pamene tionerera zinthu zodzutsa chilakolako, timakonda kulankhula kwambiri za kugonana. Nthaŵi zina, kuonererako kumatichititsa kuyesa kuchita zinthu zimene sitingayese kuchita mwachizoloŵezi.” Inde, ‘kusamalira zinthu za thupi’ kudzangokuvulazani. (Aroma 8:5) Kudzapotoza lingaliro lanu la chikondi ndi kugonana ndi kudzaza maganizo anu ndi malingaliro odetsa. Uphungu wa Baibulo? “Tidzikonzere tokha kuleka chodetsa chonse cha thupi ndi cha mzimu, ndi kutsiriza chiyero m’kuwopa Mulungu.” (2 Akorinto 7:1) Chotero peŵani mafilimu, mavidiyo, ndi madisiki amene amadzutsa chikhumbo chachikondi.

Mwamuna wina Wachikristu wosakwatira anaperekapo uphungu uwu wogwira ntchito: “Musamasumika maganizo anu pa zinthu zosayenera musanapite kukagona. Akanema ambiri a pa TV ausiku kwambiri amadzutsadi malingaliro oipa.” Ndi mmenenso alili mabuku ambiri. Mkristu wachichepere wotchedwa Sherry akuvomereza kuti: “Ndinkaŵerenga manovelo achikondi. Ndinkalingalira za kugonana, kulota za moyo wosangalatsa ndi za kugonana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana.” Popeza kuti maganizo ake anadzala ndi malingaliro achikondi, analoŵa mosavuta m’kukumbatirana ndi kupsompsonana ndi mnyamata wina. Mavuto onga amenewo angapeŵedwe ngati mumamatira kuŵerenga zinthu zoyenera—monga magazini ano ndi anzake, a Nsanja ya Olonda. Kuŵerenga zoterozo kwathandiza achichepere ambiri ‘kusamalira zinthu za mzimu,’ mmalo mwa thupi lochimwa.—Aroma 8:5.

Chotsani Malingaliro Amenewo!

Nthaŵi zina malingaliro a za osiyana nawo ziŵalo angangoloŵa m’maganizo mwanu mosayembekezera. Scott wazaka 17 akuvomereza kuti: “Pamakhala nthaŵi zina pamene kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kwa ine kuchotsa maganizo anga pa kugonana.” Kapena mwina mumangoona mnyamata kapena mtsikana wokongola. Ndiyeno mosadziŵa, mumangopeza kuti mukuganiza za iye. Koma kuona kuti wina ali wokongola kuli nkhani ina ndiponso kuli nkhani yosiyana kotheratu kuchita zimene Yesu anatsutsa, ndiko kuti, “kuyang’ana mkazi kumkhumba.” (Mateyu 5:28; yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 6:25.) Pamene muli wachichepere wosakhoza kukwatira, kumwerekera ndi malingaliro achikondi odzutsa chilakolako kungangopsinja maganizo anu ndi kukulefulani.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 13:12.

Motero Scott akunena kuti: “Chimene chimandithandiza ndi kusintha nkhaniyo—kuchotsa maganizo anga pa malingaliro amene amandichititsa kudzukidwa. Ndimadziuza ndekha kuti malingalirowo kapena chikhumbocho chidzatha m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.” (Yerekezerani ndi Afilipi 4:8.) Mtumwi Paulo anati: “Ndipumpuntha thupi langa, ndipo ndiliyesa kapolo.” (1 Akorinto 9:27) Mofananamo, mungafunikire kuchita mwamphamvu ndi inumwininu pamene malingaliro onena za osiyana nawo ziŵalo abuka. Ngati malingalirowo apitirizabe, yesani kuchita maseŵera ena olimbitsa thupi. “Chizolowezi cha thupi chipindula pang’ono,” ndipo kuyenda kwamphamvu kapena mphindi zingapo za kujadima zingakhale zokha zimene mufunikira kukuthandizani kulamitsa maganizo anu.—1 Timoteo 4:8.

Achichepere ambiri apezanso kuti ‘kukhala . . . akuchuluka mu ntchito ya Ambuye’ kumathandiza kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 15:58) Debra wachichepere akunena motere: “Ndimapeza kuti njira yabwino ndiyo kukhalabe wotanganitsidwa kufikira utatoperatu.” Kutanganitsidwa kwambiri ndi mpingo Wachikristu ndi ntchito zake zonse kungakuthandizeni kwambiri kusunga malingaliro anu achikatikati.

Komabe, mulimonse mmene mungayesere, kungakhalebe kovuta nthaŵi zina kuchotsa maganizo anu pa osiyana nawo ziŵalo. Ngati ndi choncho, pemphani chichirikizo cha wachikulire. Mwinamwake mungakambitsirane nkhaniyo ndi mmodzi wa makolo anu. Talingalirani zimene Carl wachichepere ananena: “Kukambitsirana ndi wina wachikulirepo ndi wachidziŵitso kwandithandiza. Pamene kukambitsiranako kuli koona mtima kwambiri, zinthu zimakhalapo bwino.” Koposa zonse, musanyalanyaze thandizo limene mungapeze kwa Atate wanu wakumwamba. “Pamene ndimva kuti chilakolako cha kugonana chikubuka,” akutero mwamuna wina Wachikristu wosakwatira, “ndimadzikakamizadi kupemphera.” Baibulo limati: “Potero tilimbike mtima poyandikira mpando wachifumu wachisomo, kuti tilandire chifundo ndi kupeza chisomo cha kutithandiza nthaŵi yakusoŵa.” (Ahebri 4:16) Ayi, Mulungu sadzakuchotserani chikondwerero chanu mwa osiyana nawo ziŵalo. Koma ndi chithandizo chake, mungapeze kuti pali zinthu zina zambiri zozilingalira.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 24]

Ngati nkhani yonena za osiyana nawo ziŵalo ikhala yosalamulirika, limbani mtima kuti musinthe nkhaniyo