Vuto la Kusamala Wina

“NTHAŴI zina ndinali kungoti bwenzi ndikanathaŵa. Koma ndi pamene anali kundifuna kwambiri. Nthaŵi zina ndinali kusungulumwa.”—Jeanny, amene anadwazika mwamuna wake wazaka 29 kwa miyezi 18 asanamwalire ndi fundo ya muubongo.a

“Pali nthaŵi zina pamene Amayi amandikwiyitsa, kenako ndimadziona woipa. Ndimadziona ngati wolephera pamene sindiupirira mkhalidwewo.”—Rose, 59, amene ankasamala amake azaka 90 athanzi lofooka, amene ankangokhala chogona.

Uthenga wa matenda osachiritsika kapena obwerezabwereza ungasautse mtima achibale ndi mabwenzi. “Munthu atapezeka ndi nthenda banja lililonse limadziona ngati kuti lili lokhalokha. Iwo sangadziŵe aliyense amene anakhalapo ndi vuto limeneli,” akutero Jeanne Munn Bracken, mu Children With Cancer. Iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amakhalanso “odabwa kwambiri ndipo samakhulupirira,” monga Elsa pamene anamva kuti Betty, bwenzi lake lapafupi lazaka 36, ali ndi kansa. Sue, amene atate wake anali wodwala, “anazizira” m’mimba atadziŵa potsirizira pake kuti atate wake anali pafupi kumwalira ndi kansa.

Mwadzidzidzi achibale ndi mabwenzi angangodzipeza kuti ali ndi thayo la kupereka chisamaliro—kupereka zosoŵa zakuthupi ndi chilimbikitso kwa wodwalayo. Angafunikire kumaphika zakudya zopatsa thanzi, kuyang’anira zamankhwala, kufunafuna zopitira kwa dokotala, kuchereza odzazonda wodwalayo, kulemba makalata a wodwalayo, ndi zina zambirimbiri. Nthaŵi zambiri zinthu zimenezi zimangophatikizidwa pandandanda yodzala kale ndi zinthu zina.

Komabe, pamene matenda a wodwala apita akula, ntchito yomsamala imakulanso. Kodi zimenezi zingaphatikizepo chiyani? “Zilizonse!” akutero Elsa posimba za bwenzi lake, Betty, amene amakhala chogona. “Kumsambitsa ndi kumdyetsa, kumgwiririra akamasanza, kutaya mkodzo wake.” Kathy, mosasamala kanthu kuti anali kugwira ntchito yanthaŵi zonse, analinso kusamala amake odwala. Sue, wotchulidwa poyambayo, akusimba kuti “anali kupima ndi kulemba kutentha kwa thupi [la atate wake] theka lililonse la ola, kuwapukuta ndi nsalu ya madzi ozizira thupi likatentha kwambiri, ndi kuwasintha zovala ndi mabulangete maola angapo alionse.”

Mtundu wa chisamaliro chimene wodwala akulandira kwenikweni chimayendera pamodzi ndi ubwino wa osamalawo. Komabe, nthaŵi zambiri malingaliro ndi zosoŵa za osamala odwala amazinyalanyaza. Ngati kusamala wina kunali kungopweteka msana ndi mapeŵa, zimenezo zikanakhalabe zolimba. Komabe, ambiri osamala ena amavomereza kuti chisamalirocho amachipereka movutika mtima kwambiri.

“Zinandichititsa Manyazi Kwambiri”

“Nthaŵi zambiri kufufuza kumasonyeza kuti pamakhala kupsinjika maganizo chifukwa cha khalidwe [la wodwalayo] losadziletsa, lochititsa manyazi, ndiponso kuzaza kwake,” ikutero The Journals of Gerontology. Mwachitsanzo, Gillian akusimba zimene zinachitika pamene bwenzi lake pamsonkhano wachikristu linampempha kuti likaone amake okalambawo. “Amayi anangooneka ngati sakudziŵa kalikonse ndipo sanayankhe,” akukumbukira choncho mwachisoni Gillian. “Zinandichititsa manyazi kwambiri ndipo ndinalira.”

“Nchimodzi cha zinthu zovuta koposa kupirira,” akutero Joan amene mwamuna wake ali ndi msala. “Umamtayitsa ulemu,” akufotokoza motero. “Pamene tapita ndi ena kukadyera m’malesitiranti, nthaŵi zina amapita pamathebulo ena m’chipinda chodyeracho, kulaŵa jamu, ndi kubwezera supuni yomwe agwiritsira ntchito m’mbale ya jamu. Ngati tikuchezera anansi, angalavulire panjira ya m’mbali mwa maluŵa. Ndimavutika kwambiri kuti ndisiye kuganiza kuti ena ayenera kuti akunena za makhalidwe ameneŵa ndipo mwinamwake amamuona ngati munthu wopandiratu mwambo. Ndimamva monga ndingaloŵe pansi.”

“Ndinaopa Kuti Ngati Sitisamala . . . ”

Kusamala wokondedwa wodwala kwambiri kungakhale kochititsa mantha kwambiri. Wosamalayo angaope zimene zidzachitika pamene matendawo akukula—mwinamwake kuopa ngakhale imfa ya wokondedwa wake. Angaopenso kuti mwina sadzakhala ndi nyonga kapena sadzakwaniritsa zosoŵa za wodwalayo.

Elsa akufotokoza chifukwa cha mantha ake motere: “Ndinaopa kuti mwina ndingampweteke Betty, choncho kuwonjezera kuvutika kwake, kapena kuti ndingachite kenakake kamene kangafupikitse moyo wake.”

Nthaŵi zina zimene wodwala akuopa ndi zimenenso womsamala amayamba kuopa. “Atate ankaopa kwambiri kutsamwa ndipo nthaŵi zina ankatekeseka,” anatero Sue. “Ndinaopa kuti ngati sitisamala, adzatsamwa ndi kuvutika ndi chinthu chomwe ankaopa kwambiri.”

“Ukaganiza Mmene Analili Ungalire”

“Anthu amene akusamala wokondedwa wawo wodwala nthenda yosatha amamva chisoni mwachibadwa,” ikutero Caring for the Person With Dementia. “Pamene matenda a wodwalayo akukula, mungamve kuti mukutaya bwenzi ndi unansi umene unali wofunika kwambiri kwa inu. Ukaganiza mmene analili ungalire.”

Jennifer akufotokoza mmene banja lawo linamvera ndi kudwala kwa amake kwapang’onopang’ono: “Zinatipweteka mtima kwambiri. Tinayamba kukumbukira nkhani zawo zaumoyo. Tinachita chisoni kwambiri.” Gillian akufotokoza kuti: “Sindinafune kuti amayi amwalire, ndipo sindinafune kuti avutike. Ndinali kungolira.”

“Ndinamva Ngati Anditaya, Wokwiya”

Wosamala ena angadzifunse kuti: ‘Nchifukwa ninji izi zikuchitika kwa ine? Nchifukwa ninji ena sakundithandiza? Kodi sakuona kuti sindikukwanitsa bwinobwino? Kodi wodwalayu sangasiye kuvuta?’ Nthaŵi zina, wosamala wina angakwiye kwambiri chifukwa cha zimene zingaoneke ngati zinthu zomawonjezereka ndipo zosayenerera zimene wodwala ndi achibale ena angafune kwa iye. Rose, wotchulidwa m’mawu oyamba, akuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri ndimadzikwiyira ndekha—mumtima mwanga. Koma Amayi amati ndimaoneka pankhope.”

Wosamalayo ndiye angavutike kwambiri ndi kugwira mwala kwa wodwala ndi mkwiyo wake. M’buku lakuti Living With Cancer, Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum akulongosola kuti odwala ena “nthaŵi zina amakwiya kwambiri ndi kuchita tondovi ndipo amafuzira pa munthu amene ali pafupi kwambiri . . . Mkwiyo umenewu kaŵirikaŵiri umatuluka monga kukwiya patinthu tachabechabe timene nthaŵi zonse sitimamdetsa nkhaŵa nkomwe wodwalayo.” Ndiye chifukwa chake, zimenezi zingawonjezere mtolo pa okondedwa ake opsinjika kale maganizo amene akuyesetsa ndithu kusamala wodwalayo.

Mwachitsanzo, Maria anagwiradi ntchito podwazika bwenzi lake limene linali pafupi kumwalira. Komabe, nthaŵi zina, bwenzi lakelo linaoneka kukhala lonyumwa kwambiri ndi kumangomganizira zinthu zolakwa. “Nthaŵi zina ankazaza kwambiri ndi kuchita mwano, kuchititsa manyazi okondedwa ake,” akufotokoza motero Maria. Kodi Maria anamva bwanji ndi zimenezi? “Panthaŵiyo, umaoneka kuti ‘ukumvetsa’ wodwalayo. Koma nditaziganiziranso pambuyo pake, ndinamva ngati anditaya, wokwiya, ndi wosokonezeka—ndipo wosafuna kusonyeza chikondi chofunikira.”

Kufufuza kofalitsidwa mu The Journals of Gerontology kunati: “Mkwiyo umatha kukundikana posamala wina [ndipo] nthaŵi zina umachititsa chiwawa kapena kufuna kuchita zinthu mwachiwawa.” Ofufuzawo anapeza kuti pafupifupi wosamala ena 1 mwa 5 alionse amaopa kuti angachite zinthu mwachiwawa. Ndipo oposa 1 mwa 20 anachitadi zinthu mwachiwawa kwa wodwala wake.

“Ndikudzimva Waliwongo”

Ambiri amene akusamala ena amavutika ndi podzimva aliwongo. Nthaŵi zina liwongolo limatsatira mkwiyo—ndiko kuti, amadzimva aliwongo chifukwa chakuti amakwiya nthaŵi zina. Malingaliro ameneŵa angawalefule kwambiri kwakuti angamve kuti sangakwanitsenso.

Nthaŵi zina, pamakhala palibe chochita koma kungopereka wodwalayo kumene amasamala odwala kapena kuchipatala kuti akamsamalire. Chimenechi chingakhale chosankha chosautsa kwambiri chimene chingazunze mtima wa wosamala. “Pomalizira pake nditakakamizika kupereka Amayi kunyumba yosamalako odwala, ndinamva ngati kuti ndinali kuwakana, kuwataya,” akutero Jeanne.

Kaya wodwala agonekedwa kapena sanagonekedwe m’chipatala, okondedwa ake angamve liwongo lakuti palibe zenizeni zimene akumchitira. Elsa anati: “Ndinali kumva chisoni nthaŵi zambiri chifukwa chakuti ndinalibe nthaŵi yokwanira. Nthaŵi zina bwenzi langa silinali kufuna kuti ndipite.” Pangakhalenso nkhaŵa kuti mathayo ena a m’banja akunyalanyazidwa, makamaka ngati wosamalayo nthaŵi yaikulu amaithera kuchipatala kapena ngati amagwira ntchito maola ambiri kuti athandize kulipira bilu yomakwerayo. “Ndiyenera kugwira ntchito kuti ndithandize kulipira zofunika,” anadandaula mayi wina, “komabe ndimadzimva waliwongo chifukwa chakuti panyumba sindimakhalapo kuti ndione ana anga.”

Mosakayikira, osamala ena amafunitsitsa chichirikizo, makamaka yemwe ankasamalayo atamwalira. “Thayo langa lovuta kwambiri [wodwala atamwalira] . . . ndilo kuthetsa malingaliro a liwongo mwa amene anali kumsamala, amene kaŵirikaŵiri samawafotokoza,” akutero Dr. Fredrick Sherman, wa ku Huntington, New York.

Ngati malingaliro ameneŵa angokhala osawatchula, angawononge onse aŵiri wosamala ndi wodwala wake. Choncho nchiyani chimene osamala ena angachite kuti agonjetse malingaliro ameneŵa? Ndipo nchiyaninso chimene ena—achibale ndi mabwenzi—angachite kuti awathandize?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 5]

Musawalekerere!

“TIKUDZIŴA kuti 80% ya okalamba amene akusamalidwa panyumba ndi akazi amene amawasamala,” akutero Myrna I. Lewis, profesa wothandizira m’dipatimenti ya mankhwala a anthu onse pa Mount Sinai Medical School, New York.

Kufufuza kwina kochitidwa pa akazi amene akusamala ena, kofalitsidwa mu The Journals of Gerontology,b kunasonyeza kuti 61 peresenti ya akaziwo anati sakulandira thandizo lililonse kwa achibale kapena mabwenzi. Ndipo oposa theka (57.6 peresenti) anati amuna awo sakuwalimbikitsa zenizeni. M’buku lakuti Children With Cancer, Jeanne Munn Bracken akusonyeza kuti pamene amayi anyamula mtolo waukulu wosamala wina, “atate samachita zambiri ndipo amangosumika maganizo awo pantchito yawo.”

Komabe, palinso gawo lalikulu la amuna amene akusamala ena, akutero Dr. Lewis. Mwachitsanzo, pali amuna ambiri amene akazi awo ali ndi nthenda ya Alzheimer. Ndipo iwonso amapsinjika maganizo posamala wokondedwa wawo. “Mwinanso amunawa ndiwo amapsinjika maganizo kwambiri pa onse,” akupitiriza motero Lew­is, “chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zambiri amakhala achikulire kwambiri kuposa akazi awo ndipo mwina iwowo alibenso umoyo wabwino. . . . Ochuluka sanaphunzitsidwe njira zothandiza za kusamalira wina.”

Mabanja sayenera kulola chizoloŵezi cha kunyamulitsa mtolo munthu mmodzi m’banja amene amaoneka kuti akudziŵa bwino mochitira ndi vutolo. “Kaŵirikaŵiri pamakhala mmodzi m’banja amene amakhala wosamala, ndipo mwinamwake osati kamodzi kokha,” likutero buku lakuti Care for the Carer. “Ochuluka a ameneŵa ndi akazi amenenso akukalamba. . . . Akazinso amaonedwa monga osamala ‘mwachibadwa’ . . . , koma mabanja ndi mabwenzi sayenera kuwalekerera.”

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Osamala ena amafuna kuwachirikiza kuti agonjetse malingaliro a liwongo ndi mkwiyo