Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Bwanji Amaimba Ine Mlandu Nthaŵi Zonse?

“Atate amadwala akakhala pa utsi koma amagwira ntchito pamodzi ndi anthu omwe amasuta fodya. Akabwera kunyumba, nthaŵi zina amakhala atakwiya kwambiri. Amasoŵetsa zinthu ndiye nkumanena ine. Ndikanena kuti ndiwo ataya, amakwiya nkumanena kuti sindimayenera kuwaongolera”—Mtsikana

KODI nthaŵi zina mumadzimva kuti onse m’banjamo amangokunamizirani? Kodi mumaona kuti chilichonse chikalakwika amaloza inu chala kuti ndiye mwalakwa? Kwa mtsikana wazaka 14, Joy, zimaoneka choncho. Amakhala m’banja momwe mulibe mayi, ndiye kaŵirikaŵiri amalera mng’ono wake ndi mlongo wake. “Amayamba kumenyana mwina ndili m’chipinda chapansi,” akudandaula motero Joy. “Amachita zopanda pake ndiponso zachibwana, koma Atate akabwera, amakalipira ine chifukwa choti sindinalipo kuti ndiwaletse.”

Ngati makolo anu amakunenani kuti ndinu wopusa, aulesi, kapena wosamva kapena maina ena osonyeza kuti ndinu waliuma, nthaŵi zina zimaoneka ngati kuti amangoyembekezera kuti simungathe kuchita kalikonse. Ramon kunyumba kwawo amamutcha kuti profesa wongokhala maganizo ali kwina—dzina la mchedzera limene amadana nalo kwambiri. Ngakhale inunso, mukhoza kudana nalo dzina limene limanena za kulephera kwanu, ngakhale litakhala kuti amalinena mwachikondi. M’malo mokupangitsani kuwongolera zinthu, dzina la mchedzeralo likhoza kungokulitsa malingaliro akuti amangokunenani kuti mwalakwa popanda chifukwa.

Makamaka ngati amene akukuimbani mlanduyo ndi wokondera, zimakupwetekani kwambiri. “Sindine woyamba komanso sindine womaliza,” akutero mnyamata wina Frankie, “ndiye ndimakalipiridwa nthaŵi zonse.” Kungaoneke kuti abale ako sawakayikira koma iwe amakunena kuti walakwa asanadziŵe nkomwe nkhani yonse.

Nchifukwa Ninji Makolo Amaimba ana Mlandu

Ndithudi, mwachibadwa makolo amayenera kulangiza ana awo akalakwa. Komabe, kupereka malangizo anzeru ndiponso othandiza ndiko kumene makolo oopa Mulungu amagwiritsira ntchito ‘polera [ana] awo m’maleredwe ndi chilangizo cha Ambuye.’ (Aefeso 6:4) Komabe, nthaŵi zina ngakhale makolo abwino kwambiri angakalipe mosayenerera mwina kuweruza molakwa kumene. Kumbukirani zomwe zinachitika pamene Yesu anali mwana. Nthaŵi iyi Yesu anasoŵa. Zinachitika kuti anali m’kachisi wa Mulungu, kukambitsirana za m’Baibulo. Ngakhale zinali motero, pamene makolo ake anampeza, amayi ake anafunsa kuti: “Mwanawe, wachitiranji ife chotero; taona, atate wako ndi ine tinalikufunafuna Iwe ndi kuda nkhaŵa.”—Luka 2:48.

Popeza Yesu anali wangwiro, panalibe chifukwa choganizira kuti adzapulupudza. Komabe, monga makolo ena onse okonda ana awo, amayi ake anadzimva audindo pa mwana wawo ndi kuchitapo kanthu mwamphamvu, mwinamwake anali ndi nkhaŵa yakuti moyo wake unali pangozi. Mongofanana ndi zimenezo, mwina makolo anunso nthaŵi zina angakalipe osati chifukwa choti ndi ovuta kapena ankhanza, koma chifukwa choti amafuna kukusamalirani.

Kumbukirani, kuti tikukhala mu “nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa.” (2 Timoteo 3:1) Makolo anu ali pantchito yovuta, kugwira ntchito ndi kusamalira nyumba yanu yonse, ndipo izi zingakhudze mmene amakhalira ndi inu. (Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 7:7.) Wodziŵa za matenda amaganizo wina anati: “M’mabanja ena, pamene pali zovuta zina, makolo amapsa mtima ndipo amalingalira mosakhazikira ngakhale kuti pakapanda vuto lililonse iwo ndi anthu abwino.”

Omwe ali okha monga kholo ndiwo amaposerako kukwiyira ana awo msanga, chifukwa choti alibe mnzawo woti nkukambitsirana naye. Kunena zoona, kukalipiridwa ndi makolo pamene akhumudwa okha si maseŵera. Lucy, wazaka 17, akuti: “Ndikakhala kuti ndalakwa ndiye akufuna kundilanga, izo zilibe kanthu. Koma ngati andilanga chifukwa choti chabe amayi sali okondwa, si zabwino zimenezo.”

Vuto lina ndi kukondera. Ngakhale kuti nthaŵi zonse kholo limakonda ana ake onse, si zachilendo kuona kuti likukonda kwambiri mwana mmodzi.a (Yerekezerani ndi Genesis 37:3.) Kuona kuti ndiwe mwana wosakondedwa kwambiri nkoŵaŵa kwambiri. Koma kukapezeka kuti akunyalanyaza zomwe mukufuna kapena amakukalipirani kaŵirikaŵiri chifukwa cha zomwe achita abale anu, mosakayika pakhoza kuyambika chizondi. “Ndili ndi mlongo wanga uyu, Darren,” akutero mtsikana wina Roxanne. “Kwa Amayi ndi kam’ngelo. . . . Nthaŵi zonse amakalipira ine, koma Darren ayi.”

Mabanja Omwe Ali m’Mavuto

M’banja lomwe muli mtendere kukalipira ana popanda chifukwa kumachitika kamodzikamodzi. Koma m’banja momwe muli zovuta makolo angamangokhalira kuimba mlandu, kuchititsa manyazi, ndi kunyoza ana. Nthaŵi zina kukalipako kungaphatikizepo “kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo, ndi chiwawa, ndi mwano.”—Aefeso 4:31.

Kodi wachinyamata ayenera kumkalipira chifukwa chakuti chabe makolo akwiya? Nzoona kuti mwana wosamvera ‘amachititsa chisoni’ makolo ake. (Miyambo 17:25) Komabe, Baibulo limauza makolo kuti: “musakwiyitse [kutanthauza, “kuwaputa dala”] ana anu.” (Aefeso 6:4) Monga Akristu ena onse, kholo liyenera kukhala lotha kudziletsa, ‘loleza.’ (2 Timoteo 2:24) Ngati kholo lilephera kudziletsa, silinganene kuti ndi mlandu wa zophophonya za mwana.

Kulankhula konyoza ndiwo umboni wakuti kholo likuvutika mu mtima, lapsinjika maganizo, kapena likudzikayikira. Zingasonyezenso kuti ali ndi vuto la muukwati kapena la uchidakwa. Malinga ndi malipoti ena, ana a munthu amene ndi chidakwa amakhala ponamizira. “Palibe chomwe amachita chimene chimakhala chabwino. Amatchedwa kuti ‘opusa,’ ‘oipa,’ ‘odzikonda,’ ndi zina zotero. Ena onse m’banjamo amaona mwana (kapena ana) ameneyo monga ‘wovuta,’ ndipo amaiŵala kukhumudwa kwawo ndi mavuto awo.”

Kupirira Poimbidwa Mlandu Mosayenera

Dr. Kathleen McCoy anati: “maina a mchedzera, kumnyoza, ndi kusuliza umunthu wake . . . kukhoza kumpangitsa kudzimva wopanda pake, wopsinjika maganizo ndiponso zingamamvute kulankhulana ndi inu.” Mwinamwakenso monga mmene Baibulo lenilenilo limanenera, kuzunza kukhoza ‘kuputa’ ana ndi kuwapangitsa ‘kutaya mtima.’ (Akolose 3:21) Mukhoza kuyamba kudziona monga wolephera kotheratu. Mukhozanso kuyamba kuwadera kukhosi makolo anu. Mukhoza kuyamba kuganiza kuti palibe chomwe mungachite kuti muwakondweretse ndi kuti palibenso chifukwa choyesera kuwakondweretsa. Mkwiyo ndi chizondi zikhoza kuyambika, zikumakupangitsani kukana mwambo—mwina ngakhale malangizo othandiza.—Yerekezani ndi Miyambo 5:12.

Kodi mungapirire bwanji? Kwakukulu zidzadalira mmene zinthu zilili ndi inu. Bwanji osayamba mwalingalira mofatsa? Mwachitsanzo, kodi nzoonadi kuti inu nokha ndiye amene amakuimbani mlandu nthaŵi zonse? Kapena mwina kuti makolo anu nthaŵi zina amakonda kukalipa ndi kumanena zinthu zoipa? Baibulo limati “timakhumudwa tonse pa zinthu zambiri” ndipo zimenezi zimaphatikizapo makolo. (Yakobo 3:2) Choncho ngati makolo amakalipa kaŵirikaŵiri, kodi ndiye kuti inunso muyenera kumakalipa? Uphungu wa m’Baibulo pa Akolose 3:13 ukhoza kuthandiza: “Kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake; monganso Ambuye anakhululukira inu, teroni inunso.”

Kumvera chifundo makolo anu kudzakuthandizani kuchita zimenezi. Miyambo 19:11 imati: “Kulingalira kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo; ulemerero wake uli wakuti akhululukire cholakwa.” Ngati atate anu akuoneka okwiya pamene achokera kuntchito ndipo akukalipirani pa chinachake chimene simunalakwe, kodi pali chifukwa chodandaulira kwambiri chifukwa cha zimenezo? Kuzindikira kuti mwina apanikizika kapena atopa kukhoza kukuthandizani ‘kuŵakhululukira pa zolakwa zawo.’

Komabe, ngakhale zili tero, bwanji ngati pamene akukalipirani nthaŵi zonse sali opanikizika ndipo saleka? Nkhani yathu yam’tsogolo idzakamba njira zomwe mungatsate kuti zinthu zisinthe.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 21]

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