Mmene Mungalimbitsire Zomangira za Banja

Zifukwa zimene achichepere amachokera panyumba ziri zambiri ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri zoyambukira. Pamene kuli kwakuti nkhani ino singalongosole izo mozama, ikusonyeza kuti maprinsipulo a Baibulo pamene agwiritsiridwa ntchito, angagwire ntchito kusunga banja chapamodzi.

CHIRI chovuta kuchikhazikitsa kuti ndi ana angati amene amathaŵa kuchokera kunyumba. Ziyerekezo zosindikiza zimachokera pa 600,000 mpaka 3,000,000 za ana osowa chaka chirichonse mu United States mokha. Ziyerekezo zoterozo kaŵirikaŵiri zimawonjezeredwa pamodzi m’magulu onga ngati othaŵa, kuthamangitsidwa, kutaidwa, ndi ana otengedwa ndi makolo olekana popanda lamulo la kusunga ana kwa lamulo. Izo ziyenera kukhaladi ziyerekezo, popeza ana omwe amasiidwa ndi makolo awo samasimbidwa kukhala akusowa, ndipo ana ena amathaŵa mokhazikika. “Wa zaka zakubadwa 16 yemwe amathaŵa nthaŵi zisanu pa chaka ndi kukhala usiku wonse nthaŵi iriyonse imene athaŵa adzawonekera mu . . . zolembera monga ana asanu osowa,” ikutero The New York Times.

Zofunika kuposa ziŵerengero ziri zifukwa zimene ana amachokera pa nyumba. “Pamene wachichepere athaŵa, icho mofala chiri chisonyezero cha kusagwira ntchito m’malo ozinga nyumba,” ikutero magazini ya Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality. Chingakhale chifukwa chakuti mavuto omwe alipo kale, monga ngati kuvutitsidwa kwa kuthupi, kunyalanyazidwa, kusoweka kwa chikondi, chisudzulo, malamulo opitirira, kapena nkhanza kapena malamulo osasinthika. Kapena chingakhale chifukwa cha kuwopa kukumbukiranso, monga m’nkhani ya mimba kapena kuwombana ndi lamulo. Pamene afunsidwa chifukwa chimene anachoka panyumba, othaŵa ambiri amapereka zifukwa zokhudza unansi wawo ndi makolo awo. “Unansi wa kholo ndi mwana uli mwachiwonekere mbali yoyambukira kwambiri m’chigwirizano ndi mkhalidwe wa kuthaŵa,” inatero magazini ya Adolescence. Iyo ikuwonjezera kuti: “Othaŵa amasimba unansi woipa wa kholo ndi mwana, kuwombana kwa banja kokulira, kupatulidwa kuchokera kwa makolo, kusamvana kwa pakati pa anthu, ndi kulankhuzana koipa ndi makolo monga nsonga zoyambirira kumbuyo kwa kuthaŵa kwawo panyumba.”

Kumvetsetsa Zifukwa

Izi ziri nthaŵi za zotsendereza. “Ndi kusowa kwa ntchito kukumawonjezereka, ndipo mabanja ochulukirachulukira ali mumkhalidwe woipa wa zachuma, kupsyinjika kwa m’banja ndi mavuto awonjezereka,” inatero magazini ya Ladies’ Home Journal. “Pamene tate achotsedwa ntchito ndipo ngongole yaikulu sinalipiridwe, aliyense m’banja amachimva chitsenderezo. Anthu achichepere, omwe sanakulitse luso la kuchita ndi zitsenderezo zimenezi, amagwiritsira ntchito kuthaŵa monga njira yopulumukira.” Nthaŵi zina makolo iwo eni mosalingalira amathamangitsa ana awo. Mokwiya, iwo angauze mbadwa zawo kuvomereza zosankha zawo kapena kuchoka. Okwiitsidwa ndi otopetsedwa kumenyana ndi kulimbana kwa tsiku ndi tsiku kwa za chuma, iwo amakhala ndi mphamvu yochepera ya kuchita ndi ana awo.

Pa nthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kungokhala namwali kumatulutsanso zitsenderezo zake. A zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ali osowa chochita pakati pa chifuno cha chisungiko ndi chisamaliro chimene iwo amachilandira monga ana ndi lingaliro la kukhala odziimira pa okha kuchoka kwa makolo awo pamene akulimbana ndi kukhala achikulire. Chimapangitsa kusokonezeka ndi kudera nkhaŵa kwa iwo. Kusintha kwa thupi nakonso kumachitika. Miyoyo yawo mwadzidzidzi imakhaladi yocholowanacholowana, ndipo iwo angadzimve otopetsedwa. Iwo amamva chitsenderezo kuchokera kwa makolo ndi anzawo a msinkhu wofanana. Iwo amakumananso ndi nyengo za kudzikaikira ndi kupsyinjika. “Pamene mukuyesera kupeza yankho inu eni, musadabwitsidwe ngati nthaŵi zina mumadzimva kukhala osamvetsetsedwa panyumba,” ikuchenjeza tero magazini ya ’Teen. “Ndiko nkomwe, ngati inu simungadzimvetsetse inu eni, ndimotani mmene makolo anu angadziŵire chimene chiri m’malingaliro anu?” Makolo ambiri, makamaka ndi mbadwa zawo zoyamba, ali osatsimikizira ponena za kuchuluka kwa ufulu umene angapereke kwa ana awo. Kulamulira kopambanitsa ndi kusoweka kwa kumvetsetsa kwatsogolera achichepere ambiri ku kuthaŵa.

“Koma kuthaŵa sikumathetsa chirichonse,” anadziŵa tero mkonzi Judy Blume m’bukhu lake Letters to Judy. “Kuthaŵa kuli chizindikiro, osati yankho. M’malomwake, mabanja ayenera kukhala pansi pamodzi ndi kuyang’anizana ndi nsonga. Iwo ayenera kuchita ndi zenizeni. Kokha pamenepo ndi pamene iwo angapange masinthidwe omwe adzawathandiza iwo kukhala pamodzi mwamtendere. Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri iwo amafuna thandizo m’kupanga chimenecho.”

Kupeza Thandizo Lofunikalo

Magwero abwino koposa a thandizo limenelo ali Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo. Nchifukwa ninji tero? Chifukwa monga Mlengi wa munthu, Mulungu amadziŵa chomwe chiri chabwino koposa kaamba ka chilengedwe chake. Ndipo iye watipatsa ife malangizo ndi chifuno chimenecho m’maganizo, “kaamba ka chiphunzitso, chitsutsano, chikonzero, chilangizo cha m’chilungamo kuti munthu wa Mulungu akhale woyenera, wokonzeka kuchita ntchito iri yonse yabwino.” (2 Timoteo 3:16, 17) Maprinsipulo a Baibulo amagwira ntchito, ndipo iwo amakwaniritsa mbali zonse za moyo.

Monga mmene chadziŵidwira, ngakhale kuli tero, ziwalo zonse za banja ziyenera kukhala zofunitsitsa kuyang’anizana ndi nsonga ndi kupanga masinthidwe. Popanda kuzindikira ndi chikhumbo choterocho, kuwongolera sikudzapangidwa, ndipo chisonkhezero champhamvu cha kuthaŵa chidzatsalira. Makamaka icho chiri tero m’mabanja okhala ndi mavuto a zoledzeretsa, anamgoneka, ndi kuipsyidwa kwa kugonana. Izi ziyenera kulakidwa zitsenderezo zachibadwa za moyo zisanagwiriridwepo ntchito. Chikhulupiriro mwa Mulungu ndi chikhumbo chowona mtima cha kukondweretsa iye, chozikidwa pa chidziŵitso cholongosoka cha Mawu ake, chathandiza mabanja ambiri kulaka mikhalidwe ya tsoka imene m’mabanja ena yasonkhezera achichepere kuthaŵa.​—Yerekezani ndi 1 Akorinto 6:9-11.

Kungokhala kokha m’dziko lamakono iri lokhala ndi kudzikonda kwake kowonjezereka, kusakhulupirira, ndi liŵiro lomawonjezereka laupandu kungaike chitsenderezo pa zomangira za banja. Chimenecho ndicho chifukwa chake “zonse zinalembedwa kale [m’Baibulo] zinalembedwa kutilangiza, kuti mwachipiriro ndi chitonthozo cha malemba, tikhale ndi chiyembekezo.”​—Aroma 15:4.

Kugwiritsira Ntchito Maprinsipulo a Baibulo

Ndi chidziŵitso cha nsonga zomwe zimasonkhezera ana kuthaŵa, maprinsipulo a Baibulo angagwiritsiridwe ntchito. Baibulo limafikira nsonga zimenezi mwa kulangiza makolo kuthera unyinji wofunika wa nthaŵi ndi ana awo, kuwapatsa iwo kuphunzitsa kokhazikika, kwachikondi. Mbali zonse ziŵiri zonkitsa za kusoweka kwa chikondwerero ndi chilango chopambanitsa ziyenera kupewedwa. Mawu a Mulungu amachenjeza: “Atate inu, musakwiitse ana anu; komatu muwalere iwo m’maleredwe ndi m’chilangizo cha Yehova.”​—Aefeso 6:4, NW; Miyambo 22:6.

Mofanana ndi m’nthaŵi za Baibulo, kuyang’anira koyenera, chisamaliro, ndi malangizo ayenera kukhala zinthu zimene makolo amafunikira kupereka mokhazikika​—‘pamene akhala pansi m’nyumba zawo, ndi pamene ayenda iwo pa msewu, ndi pamene agona iwo pansi, ndi pamene auka iwo.’ (Deuteronomo 11:19) Pamene kuli kwakuti chilango chimafunika pa nthaŵi zina, icho chiyenera kuperekedwa mwachikondi. (Miyambo 13:24) Chimwemwe chabanja ndithudi chidzasonkhezeredwa ngati uphungu woterowo watsatiridwa!

Ananso ayenera kuchita mbali yawo: “Ananu, mverani akukubalani mwa Ambuye, pakuti ichi nchabwino: ‘Lemekeza atate wako ndi amako.’” (Aefeso 6:1, 2) Mwamuna wakale wanzeru Solomo, yemwe analemba kotero kuti “achenjeze achibwana, kuphunzitsa anyamata kudziŵa ndi kulingalira,” anachenjezanso: “Mwananga, tamva mwambo wa atate wako, ndi kusasiya chilangizo cha amako . . . Akakukopa ochimwa usalole.”​—Miyambo 1:1-10.

Ndimotani mmene mavuto a banja akasamaliridwira? M’chikondi, popeza Baibulo limachenjeza: “Zanu zonse zichitike m’chikondi.” (1 Akorinto 16:14) Ichi chiyenera kukhala chikondi chozama chomwe chiri chofunitsitsa kunyalanyaza kupanda ungwiro ndi kusiyana kwaumunthu kwa ena, kumene mwinamwake kungakwiitse ndi kusokoneza malingaliro a wina. “Koposa zonse, mukhale nacho chikondano chenicheni mwa inu nokha,” likutero Baibulo, “pakuti chikondano chikwirira unyinji wa machimo.”​—1 Petro 4:8.

Chikondi choterocho chimatenganso chikondwerero m’chimwemwe ndi ubwino wa ena m’banja ndipo chimakoka banja kukhala lathithithi pamodzi. Dziŵani kuti lotchedwa lamulo labwino koposalo linali lotsimikiza, “Kuchita kaamba ka ena chimene mufuna iwo kukuchitirani.” (Mateyu 7:12, Today’s English Version) Achichepere ambiri othaŵa ofunsidwa mu phunziro limodzi ananena kuti malo awo mu banja lawo anali mochepera oyambirira ku kuchoka kunyumba. “‘Kulekana kwa banja’ kuli nsonga yaikulu mu dongosolo la kusankha kuthaŵa kapena kukhala panyumba,” ikutero Adolescence. Koma mwakutsatira chenjezo la Baibulo la “kumayang’anitsitsa osati mokondwera ndi zinthu zanu zokha, komanso mokondwera ndi zija za ena,” nthaŵi yambiri idzatheredwa limodzi monga banja, ndipo mavuto a unansi woipa, kulekana, ndi kulankhuzana koipa angalakidwe. (Afilipi 2:4, NW) Ndi malingaliro athithithi ndi chikondwerero panyumba, chisonkhezero chochitidwa ndi mabwenzi chomwe chingasonkhezere mwana kuthaŵa chidzakhala chochepera.

Ndi kugwiritsira ntchito kwa maprinsipulo a Baibulo, kuthaŵa kuchoka panyumba sikumakhalanso yankho ku mavuto m’moyo amene munthu aliyense ayenera kuyang’anizana nawo. Ndi chirikizo la chikondi kwa chiwalo chirichonse cha banja, banja limakhala populumukirapo kuchokera ku zitsenderezo za kunja kwa dziko. Kumvetsetsa kowonjezereka kwa maprinsipulo a Baibulo ndi kugwiritsira ntchito kwawo, limodzi ndi chiyembekezo chimene Mulungu amapereka, kudzawonjezera chimwemwe chimenecho. Bwanji osalola Mboni za Yehova kukambitsirana icho ndi inu?

[Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 7]

ZIMENE MAKOLO ANGACHITE

Therani nthaŵi ndi ana anu; dziŵani mavuto awo ndi zosowa

Khalani okhazikika m’chisamaliro ndi chiyang’aniro

Perekani chilango ndi chiphunzitso m’chikondi

Pangani nyumba malo achimwemwe

ZIMENE ANA ANGACHITE

Khalani omvera, achikondi, ndipo aulemu kwa makolo

Pewani kudzipatula; tengani chikondwerero chokangalika m’zochita za banja

Lingalirani za banja monga lathunthu, osati kokha zikhumbo zanu

Khalani omasuka ndipo lankhulani

[Zithunzi patsamba 5]

Maunansi a kholo ndi mwana ali ofunika koposa