Musanyalanyaze Mnzanu!

OKWATIRANA akuchoka pa Nyumba Yaufumu. Nkhope zomwetulira za mwamuna ndi mkazi zikusonyeza chimwemwe chimene asangalala nacho monga “thupi limodzi,” logwirizana m’kulambira Mulungu wawo, Yehova. (Mateyu 19:6) Komabe, iwo kwa nthaŵi zonse sanasangalale ndi umodzi umenewo kapena kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro chofanana. Panali nthaŵi ina pamene mkaziyo, Atsuko, anapezekapo pa misonkhano ali yekha. Ndiyeno ankapita kunyumba kwa mwanuna wolunda yemwe ankafuula kwa iye. Mwamuna wake, Kazutaka, pa nthaŵi ina anakwiya kwakuti anagwira gome lodyerapo, ndipo pa nthaŵi imodzi, nkutayira pansi chakudya chamadzulo chonse.

Monga momwedi Yesu ananeneratu, Chikristu chowona chabweretsa magawano m’mabanja ena. (Mateyu 10:34, 35) Komabe, mofanana ndi Kazutaka ndi Atsuko, ena akusangalala tsopano ndi umodzi ndi chimwemwe m’nyumba zawo. Ndithudi, umodzi woterowo sunangochitika. Kodi okhulupirirawo anachitanji kuti alake chitsutso ndi kubweretsa kugwirizana kwenikweni m’banja? Tisanalingalire zimenezo, tiyeni tiwone chifukwa chimene amuukwati ena amatsutsira.

Kodi Ankatsutsiranji?

“Pamene ndiyang’ana m’mbuyo,” akuulula Atsuko, “Ndikuzindikira kuti ndinapita ku misonkhano popanda kulongosola nkhaniyo kwa mwamuna wanga.” Atatsala yekha popanda kuuzidwa, Kazutaka anakwiya.

Chitsutso chingabukenso chifukwa cha nsanje. Mwamuna wina wachichepere, Shigeo, anayamba kukhala ndi zikaikiro zopanda maziko ponena za mabwenzi atsopano a mkazi wake. “Pamene mkazi wanga anadzola zopakapaka ndikupita ku misonkhano, ndinaganiza kuti anali ndi mwamuna wina.” “Sitinalankhuleko aŵirife tiri tokha,” akuvomereza motero Masako, mkazi wake. “Sindinalongosole konse chikhumbo changa chochokera kumtima chakuti nayenso aphunzire chowonadi Chachikristu.”

Toshiko, mkazi wapanyumba, analingalira monga mmene Shigeo anachitira. “Pamene mwamuna wanga anayamba kuphunzira ndi Mboni za Yehova, ndinatsutsa chifukwa chakuti anathera nthaŵi yambiri ku mpingo. Iye atachokapo ndinamwa zoledzeretsa kuti malingaliro angawa aiŵalike.”

Kalongosoledwe ka Toshiko kanakhudza chifukwa china​—kusungulumwa. Mmenemo ndi mmene omwe kale anali otsutsa amamverera pamene anzawo anachoka mokhazikika kupita ku misonkhano yawo. “Pamene ndinatsala ndekha m’nyumbamo, ndimadzimva kukhala wothawidwa,” akukumbukira motero mwamuna wina. “Ndinamva ngati kuti mkazi wanga ndi ana akundisiya,” anatero wina. Popeza kuti amuna ambiri amachipeza kukhala chovuta kunena kuti, “ndine wosungulumwa, chonde khalani panyumba,” ena amatembenukira ku kutsutsa zochita zachipembedzo za mnzawoyo.

Chitsenderezo chochokera kwa mabwenzi ndi achinansi nthaŵi zina chingatsogoze ku chitsutso kuchokera kwa mnzanu amene mwanthaŵi zonse amakhala womvetsetsa. Kukunenedwa kuti mkazi Kummawa mwachisawawa “amatengeredwa m’banja m’malo mogwirizana ndi mwamuna wake.” Chitsenderezo chochokera kwa achinansi chingabweretse kusagwirizana. Mkazi Wachikristu wa Takashi anakana kutenga mbali m’kulambira kwa pabanja pa guwa lansembe Lachibuda. “Kuipitsa nkhaniyo,” akulongosola motero Takashi, “tinkakhala pafupi ndi makolo anga. Amayi anga ankandikakamiza, chotero ndinawopsyeza mkazi wanga ndi kugwiritsira ntchito chiwawa.”

Kusamvana, kochititsidwa ndi kusalankhuzana, nsanje, kusungulumwa, kapena chitsenderezo chochokera kwa achinansi, kungakhale chiwawa. Munthu amene ankamenya mkazi wake akuvomereza kuti: “Sindinafune kutaikiridwa banja langa ku chipembedzo.” Wina akuti: “Ndinada kufika panyumba yopanda anthu.” Mwinamwake iwo analingalira motere, ‘Ngati mawu sangaletse kutenthedwa maganizo kwachipembedzoku, zibakera zoŵerengeka zidzaletsa.’

Mwachimwemwe, okwatirana onse otchulidwa pamwambawo pambuyo pake anagwirizana m’kulambira. Zokumana nazo zawo zowawa n’zakale tsopano. Koma popeza kuti anakumana nazo, iwo angakhoze kupereka malingaliro othandiza omwe angathandize kuthetsa mikhalidwe yowoneka yowopsya ndipo mwinamwake kubweretsa kulambira kogwirizana m’mabanja amene adakali ogawanikana mu ichi.

Mamatirani ku Chowonadi

Pamene mwatambasula dzanja lanu kuti mutulutse m’madzi munthu amene akumira, inu eninu muyenera kuima nji. Ngati simutero, mungagwere m’madzimo. Mofananamo, mfungulo ku kuthandiza mnzanu ili kugwira zolimba ku chowonadi chopulumutsa moyo inu eninu. “Pamene kutsutsa kwanga kunaipitsitsa,” akutero wina yemwe kale anali wotsutsa, “mkazi wanga anagwira ana padzanja ndikupita nawo kumisonkhano. Iye akanafooka, ndikanakaikira ngati chikhulupiriro chake chinali chenicheni.”

Kazutaka, yemwe anagwetsa gome la chakudya, akuvumbula chimene chinasintha mkhalidwe wake pamene akulongosola nkhani yonse: “Potsirizira pake, ndinakana kumpatsa Atsuko ndalama zoyendera. Ngakhale zinali tero, iye anapita kumisonkhano yonse ndikupita pamodzi ndi ana. Kuti achite tero, anayamba kugulitsa zinthu zake, pang’onopang’ono. Ndinadzimva kukhala wopusa ndipo ndinataya chifuno cha kumutsutsa. M’malomwake, ndinayamba kuŵerenga magazine amene anawasiya kuti ndiwawone.”

Lankhulani ndi Mnzanu

“Ndinayenera kumuitana mwamuna wanga kutsagana nane ndi kumulola kudziŵa kuti ndinafuna kuti tiphunzirire Baibulo pamodzi,” akutero Atsuko, mkazi wa Kazutaka. “Iye anadera nkhaŵa za ine ndi banja. Kulankhulana kwabwino kukanathandiza kuthetsa nkhaŵa yake.” Inde, kulankhulana kwabwino ndiko mfungulo ku kumvetsetsa. Baibulo likupereka uphungu wakuti: ‘Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.’ (Miyambo 15:22) M’lingaliro limeneli, kupanga ‘upo’ ndi mnzanu ponena za ntchito zanu zachipembedzo kuyenera kulingaliridwa bwino ndi kunenedwa mochenjera. ‘Mtima wa wanzeru uchenjeza m’kamwa mwake, nuphunzitsanso milomo yake,’ likutero Baibulo. (Miyambo 16:23) Nkofunikanso kukhala wochenjera posankha nthaŵi yabwino yolankhula.​—Mlaliki 3:7.

Kalankhulidwe kanu nkofunika mofanana ndi zimene mumanena. Mtumwi Paulo akulangiza motere: ‘Mawu anu akhale m’chisomo, okoleretsa, kuti mukadziwe inu mayankhidwe anu a kwa yense akatani.’ (Akolose 4:6) Pamene mulankhula mwachisomo, mu mkhalidwe wabwino, mnzanuyo sadzakhala wokhoterera ku kutseka khutu lake ku zimene mukunena.

Amuna ambiri amachipeza kukhala chovuta kuphunzitsidwa ndi akazi awo. Chotero akazi ayenera kukhala ogalamuka. Kikuyo anagwiritsira ntchito bwino mabuku a Watch Tower Society. Iye akuti: “Mwamsanga Galamukani! yanga itafika, ndinasanthula zinthu zimene zingakondweretse mwamuna wanga. Ndiyeno ndinapempherera mwaŵi wa kuzigawana ndi iye.” Iye ankasiya magazine m’chipinda chosambira ndi kufufuza masambawo tsiku lirilonse kuwona ngati anaŵerenga nkhani ina. Pamene anawoneka kuti waleka kuŵerenga, mkaziyo ankasintha magazinewo. Mwamuna wa Kikuyo tsopano ndi mkulu ndiponso ndi mpainiya.

Mphamvu ya Mayendedwe Abwino

Koma bwanji ngati mnzanuyo sakufuna kukambitsirana zachipembedzo ndi inu? Kuzoloŵerana ndi Akristu ena kungathetse chitsutso chamoto cha mnzanu ndi kusonkhezera iye kuphunzira Baibulo. Masao, yemwe tsopano ndi mkulu, pa nthaŵi ina analetsa Mboni za Yehova kuponda phazi pakhomo pake. Iye akukumbukira motere: “Pomalizira pake ndinavomereza kuphunzira Baibulo ndi Mboni pambuyo pakuti mkazi wanga anandipempha kuthandiza m’kumanga Nyumba Yaufumu. Ndinakhudzidwa kuwona aliyense akugwira ntchito pamodzi mwachimwemwe​—popanda malipiro.”

Kodi mungachitenji ngati mnzanuyo akana kukambitsirana za chipembedzo ndi aliyense? ‘Ngatinso ena samvera mawu,’ akuchenjeza tero mtumwi Petro, ‘akakodwe opanda mawu mwa mayendedwe a [anzawo].’ Mwachitsanzo, kodi ndi mayendedwe otani kwa mkazi Wachikristu amene angakole mwamuna wake? “Mayendedwe anu oyera ndi kuopa kwanu” kumene kumavumbula ‘munthu wobisika wamtima, m’chovala chosaola cha mzimu wofatsa,’ akutero Petro.​—1 Petro 3:1-4.

Mkazi wina Wachikristu anagwiritsira ntchito lamulo lamakhalidwe abwino limeneli pamene mwamuna wake wotsutsa analoŵetsedwa mu mkhalidwe woipa. Ngakhale kuti unambweretsera chitonzo m’mudzi ndi kuononga kaimidwe kachuma, sanamvepo kudandaula nkumodzi komwe kuchokera kwa mkaziyo kapena ana. “Ndinadziŵa kuti khalidwe lawo lapadera linali chifukwa cha kuphunzira kwawo Baibulo,” anavomereza motero mwamunayo. Pambuyo pa zaka zambiri za kutsutsa, iye anayamba kuŵerenga Baibulo. Amuna ena omwe pambuyo pake anakhala Mboni akulongosola motere: “Ndidali mwamuna wolamulidwa ndi mkazi, koma mwadzidzidzi mkazi wanga anayamba kundilemekeza monga mutu wa banja.” “Pamene mabwenzi anga a bizinesi anabwera kunyumba kwathu, mkazi wanga anawalandira bwino. Ndinachikonda chimenechi.”

Mayendedwe abwino a ana nawonso, angafeŵetse mtima wa otsutsa. Pamene anafunsidwa chimene chinasintha mkhalidwe wake, tate amene kalelo ankatsutsa mkazi wake anati: “Pamene mwana wanga wazaka ziŵiri ndi theka zakubadwa anawona kuti ndinali pafupi kukwiya, iye ankalira mofuula ndi kubwereza mawu akuti: ‘Chikondi chikhala chilezere, chiri chokoma mtima.’” (1 Akorinto 13:4-7) Mnyamata wophunzitsidwa bwino ameneyu anasonkhezera atate ake kufufuza Baibulo. Atate ambiri asankhapo kusanthula Baibulo chifukwa chakuti ana awo awapempha kuti aliphunzire.

Pomalizira, kufikira kwachimwemwe ndi kwachiphwete kungapange zodabwitsa kusintha mkhalidwe wa mnzanu. Mwamuna wina anauza mkazi wake wokhulupirira kutenga chirichonse chimene anafuna ndi kuchoka, osadzabwereranso. “Sindikufuna mwana wanga, kapena ndalama, kapena chuma chakuthupi,” anayankha motero mkaziyo. Ndiyeno anayala furoshiki (nsalu yogwiritsiridwa ntchito ku Japani kumangapo ndi kunyamulira zinthu) yaikulu ndi kuti: “Palibe chirichonse chimene chiri cha mtengo wake kwa ine kuposa inu. Khalani pa furoshiki! Ndikufuna kukutengani limodzi nane.” Mwamunayo analeka kutsutsa, anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo, ndipo tsopano akutumikira monga mkulu.

Ngati mumamatira ku chowonadi, kusunga kulankhulana kwabwino, kupereka mayanjano abwino, ndi kukhala ndi mayendedwe abwino, mungathandize mnzanu kukhala wokhulupirira. “Ngakhale ngati sizikumveka kuti mnzanuyo akukhala wokhulupirira,” akutero yemwe kale anali wotsutsa wina, “iye angakhale akusintha mumtima.” Chotero musaleme. Kumbukirani chilimbikitso cha mtumwi Paulo kwa onse okhala ndi anzawo osakhulupirira ichi: “Pakuti udziwa bwanji mkazi iwe, ngati udzapulumutsa mwamunayo? kapena udziwa bwanji, mwamuna iwe, ngati udzapulumutsa mkazi?”​—1 Akorinto 7:16.