“Musakwiyitse Ana Anu”
“ATATE inu, musakwiyitse ana anu.” Anatero mtumwi Paulo. (Aefeso 6:4) M’maiko a Kumadzulo, kumene makolo amakhala ndi zipsinjo ndi zitsenderezo za chitaganya chotukuka, nthaŵi zonse sikumakhala kokhweka kwa iwo kuchita mwachifundo ndi ana awo. Ndipo kulera ana kulinso chitokoso ku maiko otukuka kumene. Zowonadi, kayendedwe ka zinthu kangakhale kochedwerapo kusiyana ndi Kumadzulo. Koma zizoloŵezi ndi miyambo yakalekale zingasonkhezere makolo kuchita ndi ana m’njira zimene zingawakhumudwitse ndi kuwakwiyitsa.
M’maiko ena otukuka kumene ana samazindikiridwa ndi kulemekezedwa kwenikweni. M’miyambo ina ana amalamulidwa ndi mawu owopseza ndi aukumu, kukalipiridwa ndi kutukwanidwa. Kungakhale kosawonekawoneka kumva wachikulire akunena liwu lachifundo kwa mwana, osatchula konse mawu aulemu akuti “chonde” ndi “zikomo.” Atate amaganiza kuti ayenera kusonyeza ulamuliro wawo mwakumenya ana; mawu aukali amagogomezeredwa ndi nkhonya.
M’miyambo ina ya mu Afirika, kumawonedwa kukhala kupanda ulemu kuti mwana adziyambire yekha kupatsa moni munthu wachikulire. Kuli kofala kuwona achichepere, olemedwa ndi katundu pamitu pawo, akudikirira moleza mtima kaamba ka chilolezo chakupatsa moni gulu la achikulire. Achikulirewo amapitiriza kukambitsirana kwawo, akumanyalanyaza achichepere odikiriraro kufikira pamene asankha kuwalola kupereka moni wawo. Kokha pambuyo pa moni ameneyo mpamene anawo amaloledwa kudutsa.
Umphaŵi uli mfundo ina imene ingavulaze ana. Pakutaikiridwa thanzi lawo ndi sukulu, achichepere amagwiritsidwa ntchito mosalungama monga ana antchito. Ntchito zazikulu zosalingaliridwa zimaikidwa pa ana ngakhale panyumba. Ndipo pamene mabanja a m’madera akumidzi atumiza ana awo kumizinda yaikulu kukasamaliridwa ndi achibale pamene akuphunzitsidwa, kaŵirikaŵiri amachitiridwa monga akapolo enieni. Ndithudi, kuchitiridwa koipa konseku kumakwiyitsa ana!
Chimene ‘Kuwakwiyitsa’ Kumatanthauza
Makolo ena amadzilola kutengeka ndi miyambo yofala yolelera ana osalingalira konse za zotulukapo zake. Komabe, pali chifukwa chabwino chimene Mawu a Mulungu amafulumizira makolo kusakwiyitsa ana awo. Mawu oyambirira Achigiriki omasuliridwa “musakwiyitse” m’lingaliro lenileni amatanthauza “osati mudziŵaputa kukwiya.” (Kingdom Interlinear) Pa Aroma 10:19 (NW), mneni mmodzimodziyo wamasuliridwa “kuchititsa mkwiyo wachiwawa.”
Chotero, Today’s English Version imanena kuti: “Musachitire ana anu mwanjira imene idzawapangitsa kukwiya.” Mofananamo The Jerusalem Bible imanena kuti: “Musasonkhezere konse ana anu ku kukwiya.” Chotero Baibulo silimalankhula za kukwiyitsa kwakung’ono kumene mosalingalira kholo lingapangitse kwa mwana wake chifukwa cha kupanda ungwiro, ndiponso silikutsutsa chilango choperekedwa molungama. Malinga ndi kunena kwa Lange’s Commentary on the Holy Scriptures, vesi la Baibulo limeneli limalankhula za “kuchitira ana mofulumira, mwankhadzulira, mosinthasintha, kotero kuti . . . amakankhidwira patali ndi kupangitsidwa kutsutsa, kunyoza ndi kukwiya.”
Monga momwe mlangizi J. S. Farrant ananenera kuti: “Chenicheni nchakuti ana ndi anthu. Iwo samangovomereza mwanjira yosalingalira monga momwe zimachitira zomera malinga ndi mkhalidwe wawo. Iwo amachitapo kanthu.” Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri kuchitapo kanthu ku kuchitiridwa mosalungama kumatulukapo kuwonongedwa kwauzimu ndi kwamalingaliro. Mlaliki 7:7 amanena kuti: ‘Nsautso iyalutsa wanzeru.’
Kulera Ana m’Chilangizo cha Mulungu
Makolo amene amafuna kuti ana awo apitirizebe kuyenda m’chowonadi sayenera kulola zizoloŵezi ndi miyambo yakwawoko kukhala zitsogozo za mmene angalerere ana awo. (Yerekezerani ndi 3 Yohane 4.) Pambuyo pochenjeza makolo za kukwiyitsa ana awo, Paulo anawonjezera kuti: ‘Komatu muwalere iwo m’maleredwe ndi chilangizo cha [Yehova, NW].’ (Aefeso 6:4) Chotero miyezo ya Yehova imapambana zizoloŵezi ndi malingaliro akumaloko.
Pamene kuli kwakuti kungakhale kofala m’maiko ena kuti ana adzichitiridwa monga otsika ndi akapolo, Baibulo limalengeza motere pa Salmo 127:3: ‘Tawonani, ana ndiwo cholandira cha kwa Yehova; chipatso cha m’mimba ndicho mphotho yake.’ Kodi kholo lingakhalebe ndi unansi wabwino ndi Mulungu ngati lichitira cholandira chake moipa? Kutalitali. Ndiponso palibe mpata wakuwawonera ana kukhalapo kokha kuti akwaniritse zosoŵa za makolo awo. Pa 2 Akorinto 12:14, Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti: ‘Pakuti ana sayenera kuunjikira atate ndi amayi, koma atate ndi amayi kuunjikira ana.’
Sizikutanthauza kuti ana ayenera kupatulidwa ku kuchita mbali yawo ya ntchito ndi mathayo apanyumba. Koma kodi ubwino wa mwanayo suyenera kulingaliridwa? Mwachitsanzo, pamene Yaa, msungwana Wachikristu wa mu Afirika, anafunsidwa chimene angakonde kwambiri kuti makolo ake amchitire, iye anayankha kuti: “Ndingakonde kuti ntchito zanga zapanyumba zichepetsedwe pa masiku amene ndiri ndi makonzedwe a utumiki wakumunda.” Chotero ngati mwana akukupeza kukhala kovuta kufika kusukulu panthaŵi yake kapena kufikapo pamisonkhano chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa ntchito zapanyumba, kodi sikukakhala bwino koposa kupanga masinthidwe?
Zowonadi, achichepere angakhale ovuta kuchita nawo. Kodi ndimotani mmene makolo angachitire nawo mwanjira imene siiri yoipa kapena yokwiyitsa? Miyambo 19:11 imanena kuti: ‘Kulingalira kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo.’ Inde, choyamba mungayese kumvetsetsa mwana wanu monga munthu payekha. Mwana aliyense ali wosiyana, wokhala ndi zikondwerero, maluso, ndi zosoŵa zakezake. Kodi izo nchiyani? Kodi munaitenga nthaŵi yakudziŵa mwana wanu ndi kuzindikira yankho la funsoli? Kugwira ntchito ndi kulambirira pamodzi, kukhala ndi zosangulutsa za banja—zimenezi ndizo zinthu zimene zimapatsa makolo mwaŵi wakuyandikira kufupi ndi ana awo.
Pa 2 Timoteo 2:22, Paulo anamveketsa mfundo ina pamene anauza Timoteo kuti: “Koma thawa zilakolako za unyamata.” Inde, Paulo anazindikira kuti unyamata ungakhale nyengo yosautsa. Masinthidwe aakulu akuthupi ndi amaganizo amachitika. Kukopeka ndi osiyana nawo ziŵalo kumawonjezeka. M’nthaŵi imeneyi, achichepere amafunikira chitsogozo chauchikulire ndi chachikondi kuti apeŵe mbuna zowopsa zimenezi. Koma sayenera kuchitiridwa ngati kuti anali achisembwere. Mwana wamkazi wokwiyitsidwa wa munthu wina Wachikristu anadandaula kuti: “Ngati sindinachite dama, koma bambo ŵanga akundipatsa mlandu wa kulichita, pamenepo kuli bwino kulichitiratu.” M’malo molongosola zolinga zoipa, sonyezani chidaliro mwa mwana wanu. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Atesalonika 3:4.) M’malo mokhala wosuliza, khalani wachisomo ndi wozindikira mwanjira yachikondi, yosasintha.
Komabe, mavuto ambiri angapeŵedwe ngati makolo akambitsirana pasadakhale maupandu amakhalidwe amene mwana amayang’anizana nawo. Kumbukirani kuti Mulungu amapatsa makolo thayo lakulangiza ndi kuphunzitsa ana awo Mawu a Mulungu. (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7) Zimenezo zingafunikire nthaŵi yokwanira ndi kuyesayesa. Mwatsokalanji, makolo ena amalephera kusenza thayo lawo lophunzitsa chifukwa cha kupanda kuleza mtima. Kusadziŵa kulemba ndi kuŵerenga, komwe kuli vuto lina lalikulu m’maiko ambiri otukuka kumene, kumalepheretsa makolo ena.
M’zochitika zina Mkristu wachikulire angapemphedwe kudzathandiza. Angangopereka malingaliro kwa kholo losazoloŵeralo. (Miyambo 27:17) Kapena kungaphatikizepo kuthandiza kuchititsa phunziro labanja lenilenilo. Koma ichi sichimachotsera kholo thayo lake lakuphunzitsa ana ake Mawu a Mulungu. (1 Timoteo 5:8) Akhoza kupanga kuyesayesa kutsagana ndi ana ake muuminisitala wakumunda ndi kukambitsirana nawo nkhani zauzimu pachakudya kapena panthaŵi ina yoyenerera.
Wachichepere yemwe akuyandikira uchikulire mwachibadwa angafune ufulu wokulirapo. Kaŵirikaŵiri ichi chimalingaliridwa molakwa kukhala kusagonjera kapena mwano. Kukakhalanso kokwiyitsa chotani nanga ngati makolo ake achitapo kanthu mwakumchitira monga mwana wamng’ono ndikukana kumpatsa ufulu wowonjezereka m’zochita zake! Kukakhala kokwiyitsa ngati iwo akamsankhira mbali iriyonse ya moyo wake—maphunziro, ntchito, ukwati—popanda kukambitsirana naye nkhaniyo m’mkhalidwe wabata ndi waulemu. (Miyambo 15:22) Mtumwi Paulo anafulumiza Akristu anzake ‘kukhala akulu misinkhu m’chidziŵitso.’ (1 Akorinto 14:20) Kodi makolo sayenera kukhumba kuti ana awo akule msinkhu—mwamalingaliro ndi mwauzimu? Komabe, “zizindikiritso” za wachichepere zingazoloŵeretsedwe kokha ‘mwa kuchita nazo.’ (Ahebri 5:14) Kuti achite nazo ayenera kupatsidwa mlingo wakutiwakuti wa ufulu wa kudzisankhira.
Kulera ana m’masiku ovuta ano sikuli kopepuka. Koma makolo amene amatsatira Mawu a Mulungu samakwiyitsa kapena kuputa ana awo ‘kuti asataye mtima.’ (Akolose 3:21) M’malomwake, iwo amakalamira kuwachitira motentha, momvetsetsa, ndi mwaulemu. Ana awo amatsogozedwa, osati kukakamizidwa; amasamaliridwa, osati kunyalanyazidwa; amasonkhezeredwa kukonda, osati kuwaputa kukhala ndi mkwiyo kapena kuipidwa.
[Chithunzi patsamba 31]
Kuseŵera “oware,” maseŵera oseŵerera m’nyumba a ku Ghana, kumapatsa makolowa mwaŵi wakuyanjana ndi ana awo