Pangitsani Ukwati Wanu Kukhala Mgwirizano Wokhalitsa

“Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”​—MATEYU 19:6.

1. Kodi nziti zimene zili maziko a chipambano cha ukwati pakati pa Akristu lerolino?

ZIKWI zambiri pakati pa anthu a Yehova lerolino zili ndi maukwati okhutiritsa ndi okhalitsa. Komabe, chipambano chofala chotero, sichimadza mwangozi. Maukwati Achikristu amapambana pamene a muukwati onse aŵiri (1) alemekeza lingaliro la Mulungu la ukwati ndi (2) kuyesayesa kukhala ndi moyo mogwirizana ndi malamulo a mkhalidwe a Mawu ake. Ndi iko komwe, anali Mulungu mwiniyo amene anakhazikitsa kakonzedwe ka ukwati. Iye ndiye Uyo amene ‘fuko lonse la padziko alitcha dzina.’ (Aefeso 3:14, 15) Popeza kuti Yehova amadziŵa chimene chimafunikira kupangitsa ukwati kukhala wachipambano, timapindula ife eni mwa kutsatira chitsogozo chake.​—Yesaya 48:17.

2. Kodi nchiyani chimene chili zotulukapo za kulephera kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo mu ukwati?

² Chotero, kulephera kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo kungachititse mavuto m’banja. Akatswiri ena amakhulupirira kuti ochuluka kufikira pa zigawo ziŵiri mwa zitatu za awo amene amakwatirana lerolino mu United States potsirizira pake adzasudzulana. Ngakhale Akristu sali otetezereka ku zipsinjo ndi mavuto a “nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa” zino. (2 Timoteo 3:1) Mavuto azachuma ndi zitsenderezo za kumalo antchito zingayambukire ukwati uliwonse. Akristu ena agwiritsidwanso mwala mopweteketsa mtima ndi kulephera kwa anzawo a muukwati kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo. “Ndimakonda Yehova,” akutero mkazi wina Wachikristu, “koma ukwati wanga wakhala wovuta kwa zaka 20. Mwamuna wanga ndi wodzikonda ndipo samafuna kupanga kusintha kulikonse. Ndikuona monga ngati ndiri wogwidwa mumsampha.” Amuna kapena akazi Achikristu ochuluka anena mawu ofananawo. Kodi nchiyani chimene chimalakwika? Ndipo kodi nchiyani chimene chingaletse ukwati kuloŵa mu mkhalidwe wosakondweretsa kapena mu mkangano wotheratu?

Uchikhalire wa Ukwati

3, 4. (a) Kodi nchiyani chimene chili muyezo wa Mulungu wa ukwati? (b) Kodi nchifukwa ninji uchikhalire wa ukwati uli woyenera ndi wopindulitsa?

³ Ngakhale pansi pa mikhalidwe yabwino koposa, ukwati uli mgwirizano wa anthu opanda ungwiro. (Deuteronomo 32:5) Motero mtumwi Paulo ananena kuti “otere [okwatira] adzakhala nacho chisautso m’thupi.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Mikhalidwe ina yomkitsa ingachititsedi chilekano kapena chisudzulo. (Mateyu 19:9; 1 Akorinto 7:12-15) Komabe, m’zochitika zambiri, Akristu amagwiritsira ntchito uphungu wa Paulo wakuti: “Mkazi asasiye mwamuna [wake, NW], . . . ndipo mwamuna asalekane naye mkazi [wake, NW].” (1 Akorinto 7:10, 11) Ndithudi, ukwati unalinganizidwa kukhala chomangira chachikhalire, pakuti Yesu Kristu analengeza kuti: “Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”​—Mateyu 19:6.

⁴ Kwa munthu amene akulingalira kukhala wogwidwa mu msampha wa ukwati wa mkangano kapena wopanda chikondi, miyezo ya Yehova ingaonekere kukhala yankhanza ndi yosayenera. Koma sili yotero. Uchikhalire wa chomangira cha ukwati umasonkhezera okwatirana aumulungu kuyang’anizana ndi kufunafuna kuthetsa mavuto awo, mmalo moleka mofulumira mathayo awo ataona chizindikiro cha mavuto. Mwamuna wina amene anali atakwatira kwa zaka zoposa 20 ananena motere: “Simungapeŵe nthaŵi zovuta. Simudzakhala achimwemwe ndi wina ndi mnzake nthaŵi zonse. Pamenepa mpamene thayo lili lofunikadi.” Zoonadi, okwatirana Achikristu amaona thayo lawo loyamba kwa Yehova Mulungu, Muyambitsi wa ukwati.​—Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 5:4.

Umutu ndi Kugonjera

5. Kodi ndi uphungu wina wotani wa Paulo woperekedwa kwa amuna ndi akazi?

⁵ Chifukwa chake, pamene mavuto abuka, ndiyo nthaŵi ya kufunafuna, osati njira yowonjokera, koma njira yabwinopo yogwiritsira ntchito uphungu wa Mawu a Mulungu. Mwachitsanzo, lingalirani za mawu awa a Paulo, opezeka pa Aefeso 5:22-25, 28, 29 akuti: “Akazi inu, mverani amuna anu a inu eni, monga kumvera Ambuye. Pakuti mwamuna ndiye mutu wa mkazi, monganso Kristu ndiye mutu wa Eklesia, ali yekha Mpulumutsi wa thupilo. Komatu monga Eklesia amvera Kristu, koteronso akazi amvere amuna awo m’zinthu zonse. Amuna inu, kondani akazi anu, monganso Kristu anakonda Eklesia, nadzipereka yekha m’malo mwake. Koteronso amuna azikonda akazi awo a iwo okha monga ngati matupi a iwo okha. Wokonda mkazi wa iye yekha, adzikonda yekha; pakuti munthu sanadana nalo thupi lake ndi kale lonse; komatu alilera nalisunga, monganso Kristu Eklesia.”

6. Kodi ndimotani mmene amuna Achikristu ayenera kukhalira osiyana ndi amuna adziko?

⁶ Kaŵirikaŵiri amuna agwiritsira ntchito moipa ulamuliro wawo wa umuna ndi kutsendereza akazi awo. (Genesis 3:16) Komabe, Paulo anafulumiza amuna Achikristu kukhala osiyana ndi amuna a dziko, kukhala onga Kristu, osati ankhanza olamulira tsatanetsatane aliyense wa kukhalapo kwa akazi awo. Ndithudi, mwamunayo Yesu Kristu sanali wankhanza konse kapena wotsendereza. Anachitira otsatira ake mwa ufulu ndi ulemu, akumati: “Idzani kuno kwa Ine nonsenu akulema ndi akuthodwa, ndipo Ine ndidzakupumulitsani inu. Senzani goli langa, ndipo phunzirani kwa Ine; chifukwa ndili wofatsa ndi wodzichepetsa mtima.”​—Mateyu 11:28, 29.

7. Kodi ndimotani mmene mwamuna angaperekere ulemu kwa mkazi wake ngati mkaziyo amagwira ntchito kudziko?

⁷ Mwamuna Wachikristu amapereka ulemu kwa mkazi wake monga chotengera chochepa mphamvu. (1 Petro 3:7) Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti mkaziyo amagwira ntchito ya kudziko. Mwamuna adzalingalira zimenezi, akumakhala wothandiza ndi wolingalira monga momwe angathere. Chifukwa chimodzi chachikulu cha chisudzulo chimene akazi apereka ndi cha kusasamala ana ndi nyumba kwa amuna awo. Chifukwa chake, mwamuna Wachikristu amafunafuna kukhala womthandiza panyumba m’njira zabwino zimene zimapindulitsa banja lonse.

8. Kodi kugonjera kumafunikiritsanji kwa akazi Achikristu?

⁸ Kuchitiridwa mwaulemu kumakupangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa akazi Achikristu kukhala ogonjera kwa amuna awo. Komabe, zimenezi sizimatanthauza kuponderezedwa mwaukapolo. Mulungu analamula kuti mkazi adzakhala, osati kapolo, koma “womkwaniritsa” (“mnzake,” mawu amtsinde), kutanthauza kanthu kena koyenerera mwamuna. (Genesis 2:18, NW) Pa Malaki 2:14, mkazi akunenedwa kukhala ‘mnzake’ wa mwamuna. Popeza kuti ndi otero, akazi m’nthaŵi za Baibulo anapatsidwa ufulu ndi mlingo waukulu. Ponena za “mkazi wangwiro,” Baibulo limati: “Mtima wa mwamuna wake umkhulupirira.” Ndithudi, iye anaikiziridwa mathayo onga a kusamalira za m’banja, kuyang’anira kugulidwa kwa chakudya, kukambitsirana za kugulidwa kwa munda, ndi kusamalira bizinesi yaing’ono.​—Miyambo 31:10-31.

9. (a) Kodi ndimotani mmene akazi owopa Mulungu m’nthaŵi za Baibulo anasonyezera kugonjera koona? (b) Kodi nchiyani chimene chingathandize mkazi Wachikristu kukhalabe wogonjera lerolino?

⁹ Komabe, mkazi woopa Mulungu amazindikira ulamuliro wa mwamuna wake. Mwachitsanzo, Sara “anamvera Abrahamu, namutcha mbuye,” osati monga ulemu wa mwambo, koma monga chisonyezero choona mtima cha kugonjera kwake. (1 Petro 3:6; Genesis 18:12) Iye anasiyanso kumbuyo mofunitsitsa nyumba yake yabwino mu mzinda wa Uri kotero kuti akakhale m’mahema ndi mwamuna wake. (Ahebri 11:8, 9) Koma kugonjera sikunatanthauze kuti mkazi sakanatha kuchitapo kanthu mwa thayo pamene kunali kofunikira. Pamene Mose analephera kuchita mogwirizana ndi lamulo la Mulungu la mdulidwe, mkazi wake, Zipora, analetsa tsoka mwa kuchitapo kanthu motsimikiza. (Eksodo 4:24-26) Pali zambiri koposa kukondweretsa mwamuna wopanda ungwiro. Akazi ayenera ‘kumvera amuna a iwo eni, monga kumvera Ambuye.’ (Aefeso 5:22) Pamene mkazi Wachikristu aganiza mogwirizana ndi unansi wake ndi Mulungu, zimenezi zimamthandiza kunyalanyaza zophophonya ndi zirema zazing’ono za mwamuna wake, monga momwedi mwamunayo afunikira kuchitira pochita naye.

Kulankhulana​—Mwazi wa Moyo wa Ukwati

10. Kodi kulankhulana nkofunika motani muukwati?

¹⁰ Pamene anafunsidwa za chimene chili chifukwa chimodzi chachikulu koposa chimene okwatirana amalekanirana, loya wa chisudzulo anayankha kuti: “Kusakhoza kulankhula moona mtima kwa wina ndi mnzake, kusonyezana zimene zili m’mitima ndi kuchitirana monga mabwenzi enieni.” Inde, kulankhulana ndiko mwazi wa moyo wa ukwati wamphamvu. Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera, “zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” (Miyambo 15:22) Amuna ndi akazi afunikira kukhala ‘mabwenzi odalirana,’ akumasangalala ndi unansi wachikondi, wathithithi. (Miyambo 2:17, NW) Komabe, okwatirana ambiri amavutika ndi nkhani ya kulankhulana, ndipo motero kuipidwa kumatukusira kufikira mkwiyo wowononga umaphulika. Kapena a muukwati angamapatsane ulemu mwachiphamaso, namatalikirana mwamalingaliro kwa wina ndi mnzake.

11. Kodi ndimotani mmene kulankhulana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kungawongoleredwere?

¹¹ Mbali ya vutolo imaonekera kukhala yakuti amuna ndi akazi kaŵirikaŵiri ali ndi njira zosiyana zolankhulirana. Akazi ambiri amaonekera kukhala omasuka pa kukambitsirana za malingaliro, pamene kuli kwakuti amuna mwawamba amakonda kukambitsirana za zenizeni. Akazi ali okhoterera pa kusonyeza chifundo ndi kupereka chichirikizo cha malingaliro, pamene kuli kwakuti amuna amakonda kufunafuna ndi kupereka zothetsera vuto. Chikhalirechobe, kuthekera kwa kulankhulana kwabwino kumakhalapo pamene a muukwati aŵiriwo ali otsimikizira kukhala ‘otchera khutu, odekha polankhula, odekha pakupsa mtima.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Penyetsetsanani ndipo tcheranidi khutu. Chititsanani kulankhula momasuka ndi mafunso abwino. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Samueli 1:8; Miyambo 20:5.) Mmalo mwa kuyesa kupereka chothetsera mavuto chofulumira pamene mnzanu wa muukwati avumbula vuto, mvetserani mosamalitsa pamene mukuyesayesa kuthetsa vutolo. Ndipo pempherani limodzi modzichepetsa, mukumafunafuna chitsogozo chaumulungu.​—Salmo 65:2; Aroma 12:12.

12. Kodi ndimotani mmene amuukwati Achikristu angawombolere nthaŵi kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake?

¹² Nthaŵi zina zipsinjo ndi mavuto a moyo zimaonekera kukhala zikusiyira a muukwati nthaŵi yochepa kapena nyonga ya kukambitsirana kothandiza. Komabe, ngati Akristu ati asunge ukwati wawo uli wolemekezeka ndi kuutetezera ku chidetso, ayenera kukhalabe oyandikana kwa wina ndi mnzake. Afunikira kusamalira mgwirizano wawo monga kanthu kena kamtengo wapatali, kofunika, ndipo ayenera kuuombolera nthaŵi yake ndiponso kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake. (Yerekezerani ndi Akolose 4:5.) M’zochitika zina mankhwala opezera nthaŵi ya kukambitsirana kwabwino angangokhala kutseka TV. Kumwera tiyi kapena khofi pamodzi nthaŵi zonse kungathandize a muukwati kupitirizabe kulankhulana kochokera mumtima. Panthaŵi zotero iwo angathe ‘kukambitsirana’ pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana za banja. (Miyambo 13:10, NW) Ndipo nkwanzeru chotani nanga kukulitsa chizoloŵezi cha kukambitsirana pa zovutitsa maganizo ndi kusamvetsetsana kwakung’ono zisanakhale magwero aakulu a mavuto!​—Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 5:23, 24; Aefeso 4:26.

13. (a) Kodi ndi chitsanzo chotani chimene Yesu anaika pa nkhani ya kumasuka ndi kuona mtima? (b) Kodi nziti zimene zili njira zina zimene amuukwati angayandikirane kwa wina ndi mnzake?

¹³ Mwamuna wina anavomereza kuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri nkovuta kwa ine, kuti ndinenedi zakukhosi ndi kuuzadi [mkazi wanga] mmene ndimamvera.” Komabe, kunena zakukhosi kuli mfungulo yofunika yokulitsira kuyandikana. Onani mmene Yesu analiri wosabisa zinthu ndi woona mtima kwa oyembekezeredwa kukhala ziŵalo za kagulu ka mkwatibwi wake. Iye anati: “Sinditchanso inu akapolo; chifukwa kapolo sadziŵa chimene mbuye wake achita; koma ndatcha inu abwenzi; chifukwa zonse zimene ndazimva kwa Atate wanga ndakudziŵitsani.” (Yohane 15:15) Chotero onani mnzanu wa muukwati monga bwenzi. Dalirani mnzanuyo ndi malingaliro anu. Yesayesani kunena “mawu achikondi” osavuta, oona mtima. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:2, NW) Kulankhulana komasuka nthaŵi zina kungaonekere kukhala kovuta, koma pamene a muukwati aŵiri onsewo ayesayesa moyenerera, zambiri zochititsa ukwati wawo kukhala mgwirizano wachikhalire zidzapezedwa.

Kusamalira Kusamvana

14, 15. Kodi kukangana kungapeŵedwe motani?

¹⁴ Kusamvana kwenikweni kudzabukadi panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Koma banja lanu silifunikira kuloŵa mumkhalidwe woipa wa ‘nyumba yodzala makangano.’ (Miyambo 17:1) Samalani kusakambitsirana nkhani zachinsinsi pamene ana angamve, ndipo sonyezani kulingalira malingaliro a mnzanu wa muukwati. Pamene Rakele anasonyeza kuvutika mtima pa mkhalidwe wake wa kusabala ndi kupempha Yakobo kumpatsa ana, mwamunayo anayankha mopsa mtima kuti: “Kodi ine ndikhala m’malo a Mulungu amene akukaniza iwe zipatso za mimba?” (Genesis 30:1, 2) Ngati zovuta za m’nyumba zibuka, limbanani ndi vutolo, osati munthu. Mkati mwa kukambitsirana kwamtseri, peŵani ‘kunena mwansontho’ kapena kudodometsana kosafunikira.​—Miyambo 12:18.

¹⁵ Zoona, inu mungakhale ndi malingaliro amphamvu ponena za lingaliro lanu, koma ameneŵa angathe kunenedwa popanda “chiwawo chonse, ndi kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo, ndi chiwawa, ndi mwano.” (Aefeso 4:31) “Kambitsiranani mavuto anu ndi liwu lachibadwa,” akutero mwamuna wina. “Ngati liwu likwezedwa, imani. Bwereraninso patapita nyengo yaifupi ya nthaŵi. Yambaninso.” Miyambo 17:14 imapereka uphungu wabwino uwu: “Kupikisana kusanayambe tasiya makani.” Yesani kukambitsirana nkhaniyo kachiŵirinso pamene nonse aŵirinu mwaphwa mkwiyo.

Khalani Okhulupirika kwa Wina ndi Mnzake

16. Kodi nchifukwa ninji chigololo chili nkhani yowopsa chotero?

¹⁶ Ahebri 13:4 amati: “Ukwati uchitidwe ulemu ndi onse, ndi pogona pakhale posadetsedwa; pakuti adama ndi achigololo adzawaweruza Mulungu.” Chigololo ndicho kuchimwira Mulungu. Chimawononganso ukwati. (Genesis 39:9) Phungu wina wa ukwati akulemba kuti: “Chitatulukiridwa, chigololo chimakantha banja lonse monga mkuntho waukulu koposa, chikumawononga mabanja, kuswetsa chidaliro ndi kudzilemekeza, kuvulaza ana.” Pangakhalenso mimba kapena nthenda zopatsirana mwa kugonana.

17. Kodi malingaliro okhoterera ku chigololo angapeŵedwe kapena kukanidwa motani?

¹⁷ Anthu ena amalera zikhoterero za chigololo mwa kuloŵetsa m’maganizo lingaliro loipitsidwa la dziko la kugonana monga momwe limasonyezedwera m’mabuku, pa wailesi yakanema, ndi mu akanema. (Agalatiya 6:8) Komabe, ofufuza amanena kuti, kaŵirikaŵiri chigololo chimachitika osati kokha chifukwa cha chikhumbo cha kugonana koma chifukwa cha choyerekezera cha kutsimikizira kuti munthuyo adakali wokongola kapena chifukwa cha chikhumbo cha kufuna kumva kukhala wokondedwa kwambiri. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 7:18.) Chilichonse chimene chili chifukwa chake, Mkristu ayenera kukana maloto achisembwere. Kambitsiranani moona mtima za malingaliro anu ndi mnzanu wamuukwati. Ngati kuli kofunika, funafunani chithandizo kwa akulu a mumpingo. Kuchita motero kungapeŵetsedi kugwera mu tchimo. Ndiponso, Akristu afunikira kukhala osamala pochita ndi ziŵalo zazikazi kapena zazimuna. Kukakhala kusemphana ndi malamulo a mkhalidwe a Malemba kukhala wokwatirana ndi munthu wina komano nkumakhumbira winanso. (Yobu 31:1; Mateyu 5:28) Akristu ayenera makamaka kukhala osamala ponena za kukulitsa kugwirizana motengeka maganizo ndi anzawo akuntchito. Sungani maunansi oterowo kukhala ansangala komanso okhala ndi malire ake.

18. Kodi nchiyani chimene kaŵirikaŵiri chili muzu wa mavuto azakugonana muukwati, ndipo kodi ameneŵa angathetsedwe motani?

¹⁸ Chitetezo china chokulirapodi ndicho unansi wachikondi womasuka kwa mnzako wa muukwati. Ofufuza ambiri amanena kuti mavuto azakugonana muukwati kaŵirikaŵiri sali amkhalidwe wakuthupi koma kaŵirikaŵiri ali zotulukapo za kulankhulana kosalongosoka. Mavuto a mbali zimenezi amakhala osachitikachitika pamene amuukwati alankhulana momasuka ndi kupatsana mangawa aukwati monga chisonyezero cha chikondi mmalo mwa kungokhala ntchito.a Pansi pa mikhalidwe yoyenera yotero, unansi wathithithi ungatumikire kulimbitsa chomangira chaukwati.​—1 Akorinto 7:2-5; 10:24.

19. Kodi nchiyani chimene chili “chomangira cha mtima wamphuphu,” ndipo ndi chiyambukiro chotani chimene chingakhale nacho pa ukwati?

¹⁹ Chikondi ndicho chimene chili “chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu” mkati mwa mpingo Wachikristu. Mwa kukulitsa chikondi, okwatirana aumulungu angathe ‘kuloleranabe wina ndi mnzake ndi kukhululukirana eni okha.’ (Akolose 3:13, 14) Chikondi chophunzitsidwa chimafunafuna ubwino wa ena. (1 Akorinto 13:4-8) Kulitsani chikondi chotero. Chidzakuthandizani kulimbitsa chomangira cha ukwati wanu. Gwiritsirani ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo m’moyo wanu waukwati. Ngati muchita zimenezo, ukwati wanu udzatsimikizira kukhala mgwirizano wokhalitsa ndipo udzadzetsa chitamando ndi ulemu kwa Yehova Mulungu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

Kodi Mungayankhe Motani?

◻ Kodi nchifukwa ninji ukwati uyenera kukhala chomangira chachikhalire?

◻ Kodi ndi liti limene lili lingaliro Labaibulo la umutu ndi kugonjera?

◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene amuukwati angawongolerere kulankhulana?

◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene amuukwati angachitire ndi kusagwirizana m’njira Yachikristu?

◻ Kodi nchiyani chimene chidzathandiza kulimbitsa chomangira cha ukwati?

[Chithunzi patsamba 12]

Ngati mkazi wake amagwira ntchito kudziko, mwamuna Wachikristu sadzamlola kukhala wolemetsedwa mopambanitsa