Zomwe Mungachite Kuti Tsiku la Ukwati Wanu Likhale Losangalatsa ndi Lolemekezeka Kwambiri

“TSIKU la ukwati wanga linali limodzi mwa masiku apadera ndi osangalatsa kwambiri pamoyo wanga,” anatero Gordon, amene wakhala pabanja zaka pafupifupi 60. N’chiyani chimachititsa tsiku la ukwati kukhala losangalatsa kwambiri kwa Akristu oona? Chifukwa chakuti ndi tsiku limene amapanga lumbiro lapadera kwa okondedwa awo, komanso kwa Yehova Mulungu. (Mateyu 22:37; Aefeso 5:22-29) Zoonadi, anthu amene akukonzekera ukwati amafuna kudzasangalala patsiku la ukwati wawo, koma amafunanso kulemekeza amene anayambitsa ukwati.​—Genesis 2:18-24; Mateyu 19:5, 6.

Kodi mkwati angatani kuti mwambo wa ukwati wake ukhale wosangalatsa ndi wolemekezeka kwambiri? Kodi mkwatibwi angasonyeze motani ulemu kwa mwamuna wake ndiponso Yehova? Nanga anthu ena amene abwera pa ukwatiwo, angathandizire motani kuti tsikuli likhale losangalatsa kwambiri? Kuona mfundo zina ndi zina za m’Baibulo, kutithandiza kuyankha mafunso amenewa, ndipo kutsatira mfundo zimenezo kungachepetse mavuto amene angasokoneze mwambo wapaderawu.

Ndani Ali ndi Udindo Waukulu Pokonzekera Ukwati?

M’mayiko ambiri, atumiki a Mboni za Yehova angathe kuvomerezedwa kuti azimangitsa ukwati mwalamulo. Ngakhale m’madera amene anthu amafunika kumangitsa ukwati pamaso pa nthumwi ya boma, okwatiranawo angakonde kukhala ndi nkhani ya m’Baibulo. M’nkhani yoteroyo, mkwati amapemphedwa kukwaniritsa udindo umene Mulungu wam’patsa wokhala mutu wa banja. (1 Akorinto 11:3) Motero, mkwati ali ndi udindo waukulu pa zinthu zomwe zingachitike pa ukwatiwo. Ndipotu iye amakhalabe ndi udindo ngakhale pokonzekera dongosolo la mwambo wa ukwati ndiponso phwando lomwe lingachitike pambuyo pake. N’chifukwa chiyani zingakhale zovuta kuti mkwati akonze dongosolo limeneli?

Chifukwa chimodzi n’chakuti achibale ake kapena achibale a mkazi angayese kumuumiriza kutsatira maganizo awo pokonzekera ukwatiwo. Rodolfo, yemwe wakhala akumangitsa ukwati wa anthu ena nthawi zambiri, anati: “Nthawi zina mkwati amakakamizika kuchita zina chifukwa cha achibale, makamaka ngati achibalewo athandiza ndalama zogwiritsa ntchito pa phwando la ukwati. Angathe kuumirira kuti pa mwambo wa ukwatiwo ndiponso pa phwando lake adzachite zimene iwo akufuna. Izi zingapeputse udindo wa m’Malemba womwe mkwatiyo ali nawo, wokhala ndi udindo waukulu pokonzekera ukwatiwo.”

Max, amene wakhala akumangitsa ukwati kwa zaka zoposa 35, anati: “Ndaona kuti pali chizolowezi choti mkwatibwi ndiye amakhala patsogolo kusankha zoti zidzachitike pa mwambo wa ukwati ndiponso pa phwando lake, ndipo mkwati sapatsidwa mpata waukulu wopereka maganizo ake.” David, amenenso wamangitsa ukwati nthawi zambiri, ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina mkwati amakhala woti sanazolowere kutsogolera ndipo nthawi zambiri sakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zokonzekera ukwati.” Kodi mkwati angatani kuti akwaniritse bwinobwino udindo wake?

Kukambirana Kumawonjezera Chimwemwe

Kuti mkwati akwaniritse bwinobwino udindo wake pokonzekera ukwati, ayenera kumakambirana bwino ndi anthu. Baibulo limanena mosapita m’mbali kuti: “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” (Miyambo 15:22) Koma, mavuto ambiri angathe kupewedwa ngati choyamba mkwati akambirana zimene akufuna kudzachita pa ukwati wawo ndi mkwatibwi, achibale, ndiponso anthu ena amene angam’patse malangizo abwino a m’Baibulo.

Zoonadi, m’pofunika kwambiri kuti anthu otomerana azikambirana choyamba zimene akukonza ndiponso zimene akuona kuti ndi zotheka kudzachita pa ukwati wawo. Chifukwa chiyani? Taonani zina mwa zinthu zimene Ivan ndi mkazi wake Delwyn ananena. Iwo akhala mosangalala m’banja mwawo zaka zambiri ngakhale kuti anachokera kosiyana. Pokumbukira zimene anakonza kuti zidzachitike pa ukwati wawo, Ivan anati: “Ndinkadziwiratu zomwe ndinkafuna pa ukwati ndiponso pa phwando lake. Ndinkafuna kuti padzafike anzanga onse, tidzakhale ndi keke ya ukwati, ndiponso mkwatibwi wanga adzavale diresi loyera laukwati. Koma Delwyn ankafuna kuti padzakhale anthu ochepa. Ankafuna ukwati wosalira zambiri komanso wopanda keke. Ndipo ankaganiza zodzavala diresi wamba, osati laukwati.”

Kodi Ivan ndi Delwyn anatani kuti agwirizane chimodzi? Anakambirana mokoma mtima ndiponso mosabisa mawu kukhosi. (Miyambo 12:18) Ivan anawonjezera kuti: “Tinawerenga nkhani za m’Baibulo zonena za ukwati, monga nkhani zolembedwa mu Nsanja ya Olonda ya April 15, 1984.a Nkhanizi zinatithandiza kuona mwambowu monga momwe Mulungu amauonera. Poganizira kuti tinali osiyana chikhalidwe, tinaona kufunika kosintha zina mwa zokonda zathu. Tonse tinasintha maganizo omwe tinali nawo.”

Aret ndi Penny anachitanso chimodzimodzi. Ponena za tsiku la ukwati wawo, Aret anati: “Ine ndi Penny tinakambirana zomwe tinkafuna pa ukwati wathu, zomwe zinali zosiyana, ndipo tinafika pogwirizana chimodzi. Tinapemphera kwa Yehova kuti adalitse tsikuli. Ndinafunsiranso malangizo kwa makolo athu ndiponso mabanja ena okhwima maganizo mumpingo. Malangizo omwe anatipatsa anatithandiza kwambiri. Zimenezi zinachititsa kuti ukwati wathu ukhale wosangalatsa kwambiri.”

Kuvala ndi Kudzikongoletsa Mopatsa Ulemu

M’pomveka kuti mkwati ndi mkwatibwi amafuna kuvala bwino pa ukwati wawo. (Salmo 45:8-15) Iwo angagwiritse ntchito nthawi, mphamvu, ndiponso ndalama kuti apeze zovala zoyenera. Kodi ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo ziti zimene zingawathandize kusankha zovala zopatsa ulemu ndiponso zabwino?

Taganizirani zimene mkwatibwi amavala pa mwambowu. Ngakhale kuti anthufe timakonda zinthu zosiyanasiyana komanso zogwirizana ndi mayiko omwe tikukhala, malangizo a m’Baibulo amagwira ntchito kulikonse. Akazi amafunika ‘kudziveka chovala choyenera, ndi manyazi, ndi chidziletso.’ Akazi achikristu amafunika kutsatira mfundoyi nthawi zonse, ndipo zikuphatikizanso patsiku la ukwati. Mfundo n’njakuti ukwati wosangalatsa sulira zovala zamtengo wapatali. (1 Timoteo 2:9; 1 Petro 3:3, 4) Kutsatira malangizo amenewa kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zosangalatsa kwambiri.

David, yemwe tam’tchula kale uja anati: “Amuna ndi akazi ambiri amayesetsa kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo, ndipo n’ngofunika kuwayamikira. Koma nthawi zina mkwatibwi ndiponso womugwirizira amavala zovala zosapatsa ulemu, za khosi lalikulu mpaka kuonetsa mawere kapena zovala zoonetsa m’kati.” Mbale wina yemwe ndi mkulu ndiponso ndi Mkristu wokhwima maganizo, akamakumana ndi mkwati ndiponso mkwatibwi ukwati usanachitike, amawathandiza kuti asasokonezeke maganizo mwauzimu. Kodi amachita zimenezi motani? Mwa kuwafunsa ngati zovala zomwe akufuna kudzavala ndi zopatsa ulemu moti angathe kuzivala pa misonkhano yachikristu. N’zoona kuti kasokedwe ka zovala za ukwati kangakhale kosiyana ndi ka zovala zimene munthu amavala nthawi zonse ku misonkhano, ndipo zovala za paukwati zingakhale zogwirizana ndi mwambo wa m’dera lomwe timakhala, koma ziyenera kukhala zopatsa ulemu, ndiponso zogwirizana ndi miyezo yachikristu. Ngakhale kuti anthu m’dzikoli angaone ngati mfundo za m’Baibulo pankhani ya makhalidwe ndi zopondereza, Akristu oona n’ngokonzeka kulimbana ndi zimene dzikoli lingachite pofuna kuwakanikizira m’chikombole chake.​—Aroma 12:2; 1 Petro 4:4.

Penny anati: “M’malo moona zovala kapena phwando kuti ndiye zinthu zofunika kwambiri, ine ndi Aret tinkaganizira kwambiri za mbali yauzimu ya mwambowu. Inali mbali yofunika kwambiri pa zinthu zomwe zinachitika patsikuli. Zinthu zapadera zimene ndimakumbukira, si zinthu zimene ndinavala kapena kudya, koma munthu amene ndinakhala naye tsikulo ndiponso chisangalalo chomwe ndinali nacho pokwatiwa ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda.” Mwamuna ndi mkazi wachikristu angachite bwino kuganizira zinthu ngati zimenezi pamene akukonzekera ukwati wawo.

Nyumba ya Ufumu ndi Malo Olemekezeka

Amuna ndi akazi ambiri achikristu amafuna kuti ukwati wawo ukachitikire m’Nyumba ya Ufumu ngati ilipo. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani amakonda zimenezi? Banja lina linafotokoza maganizo ake motere: “Tinazindikira kuti ukwati ndi makonzedwe opatulika a Yehova. Kumangitsira ukwati m’Nyumba ya Ufumu, yomwe ndi malo athu olambiriramo, kunatithandiza kumvetsa poyamba pomwe kuti Yehova amafunika kukhala mbali ya ukwati wathu. Ubwino wina wochitira mwambowu m’Nyumba ya Ufumu, osati malo ena alionse unali wakuti zinasonyeza achibale athu omwe si Mboni amene anabwera pamwambowo kuti ifeyo timaona kulambira Yehova kukhala kofunika kwambiri.”

Ngati akulu a pa Nyumba ya Ufumuyo avomera kuti m’nyumbayo muchitikire ukwati, mwamuna ndi mkaziyo ayenera kuwadziwitsa kudakali nthawi, zinthu zimene akuganiza kuti adzachite. Njira imodzi imene mkwati ndi mkwatibwi angasonyezere ulemu kwa anthu oitanidwa ku ukwatiwo ndi yoonetsetsa kuti afika panthawi yomwe inakonzedwa kuyambira mwambowo. Ndipo afunika kuonetsetsa kuti zonse zichitike mopatsa ulemu.b (1 Akorinto 14:40) Motero ayenera kupewa kuchita zinthu modzionetsera komwe kwafala m’maukwati ambiri a anthu amene si Mboni.​—1 Yohane 2:15, 16.

Nawonso anthu odzakhala nawo pa ukwatiwo angasonyeze kuti amaona ukwati monga momwe Yehova amauonera. Mwachitsanzo, sangayembekezere kuti ukwatiwo upose maukwati ena achikristu, ngati kuti pali mpikisano wofuna kupeza ukwati wopambana kwambiri. Akristu okhwima maganizo amazindikiranso kuti kudzamvera nkhani ya m’Baibulo pa Nyumba ya Ufumu n’kofunika ndi kopindulitsa kwambiri kuposa kufika pa phwando limene lingakhalepo pambuyo pake. Ngati nthawi kapena zochitika zina zingapangitse kuti Mkristu apezeke pa mwambo umodzi wokha, mosakayikira angasankhe kukapezeka pa Nyumba ya Ufumu. Mkristu wina yemwe ndi mkulu, dzina lake William, anati: “Ngati anthu oitanidwa alephera kufika pa Nyumba ya Ufumu popanda zifukwa zomveka koma n’kukapezeka paphwando, zimasonyeza kuti samvetsa kupatulika kwa mwambowu. Ngakhale titapanda kuitanidwa ku phwando, tingathandize mkwati ndi mkwatibwi ndiponso kupereka umboni wabwino kwambiri kwa achibale omwe si Mboni amene abwera pa ukwatiwo, mwa kupezeka pankhani ya ukwatiwo pa Nyumba ya Ufumu.”

Chisangalalo Chomwe Sichithera Patsiku la Ukwati

Akatswiri amalonda achititsa kuti madyerero a ukwati akhale njira yopangira ndalama. Malinga ndi zomwe lipoti lina linanena posachedwapa, maukwati ambiri ku United States “amadya ndalama zokwana madola 22,000, kapena kuti theka la ndalama zonse zimene mabanja ambiri a ku America amapeza pachaka.” Chifukwa chotengeka ndi zonena za akatswiri amalonda, anthu ambiri ongokwatirana kumene kapena achibale awo amakhala ndi ngongole zikuluzikulu ndiponso zotenga zaka kuti abweze, kaamba ka tsiku limodzi limeneli. Kodi kumeneku n’kuliyamba mwanzeru banja? Anthu amene sadziwa kapena sasamala mfundo za m’Baibulo angasankhe kuchita zimenezi, koma Akristu oona satero ayi.

Mwa kukhala ndi phwando laling’ono la ukwati ndiponso lomwe munthu angakwanitse, komanso mwa kuganizira kwambiri mbali yauzimu ya mwambowu, mabanja ambiri achikristu akwanitsa kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yawo ndiponso ndalama zawo mogwirizana ndi kudzipereka kwawo kwa Mulungu. (Mateyu 6:33) Taonani chitsanzo cha Lloyd ndi Alexandra, amene apitiriza kuchita utumiki wa nthawi zonse, kwa zaka 17 chichitireni ukwati wawo. Lloyd anati: “Ena mwina anaona kuti ukwati wathu sunali wapamwamba, koma ine ndi Alexandra tinasangalala kwambiri. Tinkafuna kuti tsiku la ukwati wathu lisadzatilowetse m’mavuto aakulu a zachuma, koma lidzakhale tsiku lokondwera ndi zimene Yehova anakonza zopatsa chimwemwe chachikulu anthu awiri.”

Alexandra anawonjezera motere: “Tisanakwatirane, ndinali kuchita upainiya, ndipo sindinkafuna kutaya mwayi umenewu chabe chifukwa chofuna kukhala ndi ukwati wopambanitsa. Tsiku la ukwati linali tsiku lapadera kwambiri. Komabe, linali chiyambi chabe cha moyo wokhalira limodzi. Tinatsatira malangizo oti tisaikire mtima kwambiri pa mwambo wa ukwati ndipo tinafufuza malangizo a Yehova okhudza moyo wathu wa banja. Yehova anatidalitsa chifukwa cha zimenezi.”c

Inde, tsiku la ukwati wanu ndi tsiku lapadera. Maganizo ndi zochitika patsiku limenelo zingayale maziko a moyo wanu wa banja. Motero, dalirani malangizo a Yehova. (Miyambo 3:5, 6) Ganizirani kwambiri za mbali yauzimu ya tsikuli. Thandizanani pa udindo umene Mulungu anakupatsani. Mwa kuchita zimenezi, mungayale maziko olimba a ukwati wanu, ndipo chifukwa cha madalitso a Yehova, mudzapeza chisangalalo chomwe sichidzathera pa tsiku la ukwati lokha.​—Miyambo 18:22.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 29]

Pokonzekera ukwati wawo, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kumakambirana momasuka koma mwaulemu

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Ganizirani kwambiri za mbali yauzimu ya tsiku la ukwati wanu