MFUNDO ZOTHANDIZA BANJA | OKWATIRANA
Kuonera Zolaula Kungasokoneze Banja Lanu
Mkazi wake anatulukira zimene mwamuna wake ankachita mobisa. Ndipo anapepesa kwambiri ndi kulonjeza kuti sadzachitanso. Ndipo anasiyadi kwa nthawi ndithu, koma kenako anayambiranso, ndiye chinangokhala chizolowezi chake choti akamupeza basi amangopepesa.
Kodi ndi nanunso mukukumana ndi zimenezi? Ngati ndi choncho, dziwani mmene chizolowezi choonera zolaula chingakhudzire mkazi wanu komanso zimene mungachite kuti musiyiretu chizolowezi chimenechi.a
Nkhaniyi ikufotokoza:
Zimene muyenera kudziwa
Kuonera zolaula kungasokoneze banja lanu. Kungachititse munthu yemwe munakwatirana nayeyo kuti azikhumudwa ndipo angasiye kukukhulupirirani.b
Mkazi amene mwamuna wake amaonera zolaula angamavutike ndi maganizo awa:
Anapusitsidwa. Mkazi wina dzina lake Sarah anati, “Ndinkamva ngati kuti mwamuna wanga wakhala akuchita chigololo maulendo ambirimbiri.”
Kudzimva kuti ndi operewera. Mkazi wina ananena kuti chizolowezi cha mwamuna wake choonera zolaula chinamupangitsa kudziona kuti “ndine wosaoneka bwino komanso zimandichititsa manyazi.”
Kusakhulupirirana. “Ndimakayikira chilichonse chimene mwamuna wanga akuchita,” anatero mkazi wina dzina lake Helen.
Nkhawa. Mkazi wina dzina lake Catherine anati, “Nthawi zonse ndimangokhalira kudera nkhawa za khalidwe la mwamuna wanga.”
Zoti muganizire: Baibulo limauza mwamuna kuti azikonda mkazi wake. (Aefeso 5:25) Kodi zingakhale zomveka mwamuna atamanena kuti amakonda mkazi wake koma amachititsa mkazi wakeyo kukhumudwa chifukwa cha chizolowezi chake choonera zolaula?
Zimene mungachite
Munthu amene amakonda kuonera zolaula amavutika kusiya khalidwe limeneli. Mkazi wina dzina lake Stacey, anati: “Mwamuna wanga anasiya kusuta fodya, marijuana komanso kumwa mowa, koma zikumuvutabe kusiya kuonera zolaula.”
Ngati zimenezi zimakuchitikirani, malangizo otsatirawa angakuthandizeni kusiyiratu khalidwe limeneli.
Dziwani chifukwa chake kuonera zolaula ndi koipa. Kuonera zolaula kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale ndi khalidwe lodzikonda n’kumaganiza kuti akhoza kumadzisangalatsa yekha pa nkhani yogonana. Koma zimenezi zimachititsa kuti asamasonyeze makhalidwe othandiza kuti banja likhale losangalala monga kukondana, kukhulupirirana komanso kudalirana. Kuchita zimenezi ndi kusalemekeza Yehova Mulungu amene Anayambitsa banja.
Lemba lothandiza: “Ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka.”—Aheberi 13:4.
Vomerezani kuti muli ndi vuto. Musamanene kuti, ‘Si bwenzi ndi kuonera zolaula zikanakhala kuti mkazi wanga amandikonda kwambiri.’ Si bwino kuimba mlandu mkazi wanu kuti ndi amene wachititsa kuti muonerenso zolaula, chifukwa chakuti anachita zinthu zimene zinakukhumudwitsani.
Lemba lothandiza: “Munthu aliyense amayesedwa mwa kukopedwa ndi kukodwa m’chilakolako chake.”—Yakobo 1:14.
Muzinena zoona kwa mkazi wanu. Mwamuna wina dzina lake Kevin anati: “Ndimalankhulana ndi mkazi wanga tsiku lililonse. Ndimamufotokozera ngati ndinayang’anitsitsa chithunzi chodzutsa chilakolako chogonana kapena ngati ndinapewa kuyang’anitsitsa. Kulankhulana naye zoona pa nkhani imeneyi kumapangitsa kuti asamaganize kuti ndimamubisira zinazake.”
Lemba lothandiza: “Tikufuna kuchita zinthu zonse moona mtima.”—Aheberi 13:18.
Muzikhala osamala. Mukhoza kupezeka kuti mwayambiranso kuonera zolaula ngakhale patapita zaka zambiri mutasiya khalidweli. Kevin, yemwe tamutchula kale uja, anati: “Ndinasiya kuonera zolaula kwa zaka 10 ndipo ndinkaganiza kuti ndinathana nalo vutoli. Koma chizolowezi chimenechi chinali chisanatheretu, ndipo chinali ngati chilombo chomwe chabisala kuti chindivulaze.”
Lemba lothandiza: “Amene akuyesa kuti ali chilili asamale kuti asagwe.”—1 Akorinto 10:12.
Mukamayesedwa, dekhani. Ngakhale kuti simungaletse kukhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kuonera zolaula, mukhoza kusankha kuchita mogwirizana ndi mmene mukumvera kapena ayi. Chilakolako chimatha kuchoka mwinanso mwamsanga ngati muyesetsa kuika maganizo anu pa zinthu zina.
Lemba lothandiza: “Aliyense wa inu akhale woyera mwa kudziwa kulamulira thupi lake m’njira yoyera kuti mukhale olemekezeka pamaso pa Mulungu, osati mwa chilakolako chosalamulirika cha kugonana.”—1 Atesalonika 4:4, 5.
Muzipewa zinthu zimene zingakuchititseni kuti muyambirenso kuonera zolaula. Buku lina la mutu wakuti Willpower’s Not Enough, linati: “Ngati muli pamalo oipa, ndiye kuti muli ndi machesi. Mukungofunika mafuta basi . . . kuti muyatse moto.”
Lemba lothandiza: “Musalole kuti choipa chilichonse chindilamulire.”—Salimo 119:133.
Musataye mtima. Zingatenge nthawi yaitali ngakhale zaka kuti mkazi wanu ayambirenso kukukhulupirirani. Koma anthu ambiri akwanitsa kuchita zimenezi.
Lemba lothandiza: “Chikondi n’choleza mtima.”—1 Akorinto 13:4.
a Ngakhale kuti nkhani ino ikukamba za amuna, mfundo zimene zafotokozedwazi zingathandizenso akazi amene amaonera zolaula.
b Anthu ena okwatirana amanena kuti akamaonera limodzi zolaula zimalimbitsa banja lawo. Komabe, khalidwe limeneli si logwirizana ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo.—Miyambo 5:15-20; 1 Akorinto 13:4, 5; Agalatiya 5:22, 23.