Mfundo 1: Muzikonda Kwambiri Banja Lanu

“Mutsimikizire kuti zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndi ziti.”—Afilipi 1:10.

Mungachite bwanji? Kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino, muzikonda mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuposa mmene mumakondera zinthu zina monga katundu wanu, ntchito, anzanu ndiponso achibale. Mufunika kuthera nthawi yochuluka muli ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu komanso ana anu. Nthawi zina mungafunike kusiya kuchita zinthu zina kuti muthandize banja lanu.—Afilipi 2:4.

Kufunika kwake. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti banja ndi lofunika kwambiri. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti munthu amene sasamalira banja lake “ndi woipa kuposa munthu wopanda chikhulupiriro.” (1 Timoteyo 5:8) Anthu ena amasiya kukonda banja lawo n’kuyamba kukonda zinthu zina. Mwachitsanzo, mlangizi wina wa zam’banja ananena kuti anthu ambiri amene anabwera kumsonkhano umene iye anachititsa, ankaoneka kuti amakonda kwambiri ntchito kuposa banja lawo. Iye ananena kuti anthuwo ankangofuna kuuzidwa njira yachidule yothetsera mavuto a m’banja mofulumira n’cholinga choti akhale ndi nthawi yambiri yokagwira ntchito yawo. Zimenezi zikusonyeza kuti n’zophweka kunena kuti timakonda kwambiri banja lathu koma kuchita zimene tikunenazo n’kovuta.

Yesani izi. Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa kuti mudziwe ngati mumakonda kwambiri banja lanu.

◼ Kodi ndimamvetsera ngati mwamuna, mkazi, kapena mwana wanga akufuna kulankhula nane?

◼ Ndikamauza anzanga zinthu zimene ndimachita, kodi nthawi zambiri ndimanena zinthu zimene ndimachita ndi banja langa?

◼ Kodi ndingakane udindo winawake (kuntchito kapena kwina kulikonse) kuti ndizikhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yosamalira banja langa?

Ngati yankho lanu ndi lakuti inde pa mafunso onsewa, mungaganize kuti mumakonda kwambiri banja lanu. Koma kodi mkazi ndi ana anu anganene chiyani zokhudza inuyo atafunsidwa mafunso amenewa? Zimene iwo anganene zingakuthandizeni kudziwa ngati mukuchita bwino kapena ayi. Ndipo kufunsa ena kuti mudziwe maganizo awo kungakuthandizenso pa mfundo zimene tikambirane kutsogoloku.

Chitani izi. Ganizirani chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zimene mungachite kuti musonyeze kuti mumakonda banja lanu kuposa zinthu zina. (Mwachitsanzo, mungachepetse kuchita zinthu zimene zimakuwonongerani nthawi imene mungaigwiritse ntchito posamalira mkazi ndiponso ana anu.)

Mungachite bwino kuuza banja lanu zimene mwasankha kuchita. Inuyo mukasonyeza kuti mukufuna kusintha, enawonso angafune kuchita chimodzimodzi.

[Chithunzi patsamba 3]

Mkazi ndi ana amasangalala ndi bambo amene amawakonda kwambiri

Mfundo 2: Khalani Wokhulupirika

“Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”—Mateyo 19:6.

Mungachite bwanji? Kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino, nonse muyenera kudziwa kuti banja ndi mgwirizano wa moyo wonse. M’banja mukakhala mavuto, nonse muyenera kuyesetsa kuwathetsa, m’malo mothetsa banjalo. Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamaona kuti banja ndi mgwirizano wa moyo wonse, amadziwa kuti banja lawo silingathe mwachisawawa. Aliyense amakhulupirira kuti mnzake sangaganize zothetsa banjalo.

Kufunika kwake. Kukhulupirika kumathandiza m’njira zosiyanasiyana kuti banja likhale lolimba. Komabe ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi amangokhalira kukangana, amaona kuti banja ndi lopanikiza. Ndipo munthu akakumbukira mawu amene analumbira patsiku la ukwati wake akuti “mpaka imfa idzatilekanitse,” mtima umamupweteka kwambiri moti amalakalaka anthu atakhala ndi ufulu wothetsa banja mmene akufunira. Mwina anthu oterewa sangathetsedi ukwati wawo, koma amachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti banja sakulifuna. Mwachitsanzo, amakana kukambirana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo pakabuka mavuto.

Yesani izi. Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa kuti mudziwe ngati muli wokhulupirika m’banja.

◼ Tikakumana ndi mavuto, kodi ndimadandaula kuti ndinakwatirana ndi munthu wolakwika?

◼ Kodi nthawi zambiri ndimasirira mkazi kapena mwamuna wina?

◼ Kodi nthawi zina ndimauza mkazi kapena mwamuna wanga kuti, “Ndikusiya” kapena “Ndipeza mkazi kapena mwamuna wina amene angamandikonde”?

Chitani izi. Ganizirani chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zimene mungachite kuti mukhale wokhulupirika kwambiri kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. (Mwachitsanzo, kulemberana timakalata tachikondi, kuika zithunzi za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pamalo amene mumagwirira ntchito ndiponso kuimbirana foni.)

Ganizirani zinthu zina zimene zingakuthandizeni ndipo funsani mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kuti akuuzeni chinthu chimene chingamusangalatse kwambiri.

[Chithunzi patsamba 4]

Kukhulupirika kumateteza banja lanu ngati mmene zitsulo za m’mbali mwa msewu zimatetezera galimoto kuti isasiye msewu

[Mawu a Chithunzi]

© Corbis/age fotostock

Mfundo 3: Muzichita Zinthu Mogwirizana

“Awiri aposa mmodzi . . . Pakuti akagwa, wina adzautsa mnzake.”—Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

Mungachite bwanji? Kuti banja liziyenda bwino, mwamuna ndi mkazi safunika kunyalanyaza mfundo ya m’Baibulo yakuti mwamuna ndiye mutu wa banja. (Aefeso 5:22-24) Komabe, mufunika kuchita zinthu mogwirizana, m’malo moti aliyense azichita zake. Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamachita zinthu mogwirizana amasonyeza kuti iwo ndi “thupi limodzi.” Baibulo likamanena kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ndi “thupi limodzi” limatanthauza kuti banjalo siliyenera kutha. Koma si zokhazo, limatanthauzanso kuti anthuwo ayenera kuchita zinthu mogwirizana.—Genesis 2:24.

Kufunika kwake. Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sagwirizana, mavuto ang’onoang’ono amakula. Ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti ayambe kulozana zala m’malo mothetsa vutolo. Mwamuna ndi mkazi amene amachita zinthu mogwirizana ali ngati woyendetsa ndege ndi womuthandiza wake amene akuyendetsa ndege mogwirizana. Koma banja losagwirizana lili ngati anthu awiri amene akuyendetsa ndege imodzi koma akuchita zosiyana, zomwe zingachititse ngozi. Mukasemphana maganizo pamafunika kupeza njira yothetsera vutolo, m’malo mowononga nthawi ndi kuimbana mlandu.

Yesani izi. Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa kuti mudziwe ngati inuyo mumaona kuti kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n’kofunika.

◼ Kodi ndimaona ndalama zimene ndimalandira ngati zandekha chifukwa chakuti ndine amene ndimagwira ntchito?

◼ Kodi ndimadana ndi achibale a mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga, ngakhale kuti iyeyo amagwirizana nawo kwambiri?

◼ Kodi ndimasangalala kwambiri ndikakhala ndekha, osati pamene ndili ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga?

Chitani izi. Ganizirani chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhale ogwirizana.

Mungachite bwino kufunsa mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kuti akuuzeni maganizo ake pankhaniyi.

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Mwamuna ndi mkazi amene amachita zinthu mogwirizana ali ngati woyendetsa ndege ndi womuthandiza wake amene akuyendetsa ndege mogwirizana

Mfundo 4: Muzilemekezana

“Kulalata ndiponso mawu achipongwe zichotsedwe mwa inu.”—Aefeso 4:31.

Mungachite bwanji? Dziwani kuti palibe banja limene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sasemphana maganizo. Koma zimenezi zikachitika pamafunika kukambirana bwinobwino popanda kulalatirana, kutukwanizana kapena kulankhulana mawu achipongwe. Aliyense ayenera kuchitira mnzake zimene iyeyo angafune kuti mnzakeyo azimuchitira.—Mateyo 7:12.

Kufunika kwake. Mawu angathe kukhala chida chimene tingavulaze nacho wina. Baibulo limati: “Kukhala m’chipululu kufunika kuposa kukhala ndi mkazi wolongolola ndi wong’ung’udza.” (Miyambo 21:19) Mawu amenewa amagwiranso ntchito kwa mwamuna wolongolola ndi wong’ung’udza. Ndipo Baibulo limalangiza makolo kuti: “Musamakwiyitse ana anu, kuti asakhale opsinjika mtima.” (Akolose 3:21) Ana amene amangokhalira kukalipiridwa, amafika poona kuti palibe chimene angachite kuti asangalatse makolo awo. Ndipo angasiye kuyesetsa kuchita zinthu zabwino.

Yesani izi. Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa kuti mudziwe ngati m’banja lanu mumalemekezana.

◼ Kodi m’banja mwathu tikasemphana maganizo, wina amakwiya n’kutuluka m’nyumba akukalipa?

◼ Ndikamalankhula ndi mwamuna, mkazi, kapena ana anga, kodi ndimagwiritsa ntchito mawu achipongwe monga akuti “chitsiru,” “wopusa,” kapena mawu ena otere?

◼ Kodi ndinakulira m’banja limene anthu ake amalankhulana mwachipongwe?

Chitani izi. Ganizirani chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zimene mungachite kuti muzilankhula mwaulemu. (Mwachitsanzo, wina akalakwitsa muzinena kuti, “Ine ndimakhumudwa kwambiri mukachita zimenezi,” m’malo monena kuti, “Nthawi zonse mumachita zimenezi.”)

Mungachite bwino kuuza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu zimene mukufuna kuchita. Ndiyeno pakapita miyezi itatu, mufunseni kuti akuuzeni ngati mukuchita bwino.

Ganizirani zinthu zimene zingakuthandizeni kuti musamalankhule mawu onyoza kwa ana anu.

Mungachite bwino kupepesa ana anu ngati nthawi zina mwawalankhula mwaukali kapena mowanyoza.

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Monga mmene mafunde amaperesera miyala, mawu achipongwe amawononga banja

Mfundo 5: Muzilolerana

“Kulolera kwanu kudziwike.”—Afilipi 4:5.

Mungachite bwanji? Kuti banja liziyenda bwino, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amafunika kulolerana wina akalakwa. (Aroma 3:23) Pamafunikanso kuti asakhale oumitsa zinthu kwambiri kapenanso olekerera ana awo. Komanso ayenera kuika malamulo angapo oti ana azitsatira panyumba. Ndipo ana ayenera kupatsidwa chilango “pa mlingo woyenera.”—Yeremiya 30:11, NW.

Kufunika kwake. Baibulo limanena kuti ‘nzeru yochokera kumwamba ndi yololera.’ (Yakobe 3:17) Mulungu sayembekezera kuti tizichita zinthu zonse popanda kulakwitsa. Choncho, si bwino kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi aziyembekezera mnzake kuchita chilichonse mosalakwitsa. Ndipotu kumangoona zolakwa za mnzanu kumachititsa kuti muzisungirana chakukhosi. Ndi bwino kuvomereza mfundo yakuti “tonsefe timapunthwa nthawi zambiri.”—Yakobe 3:2.

Makolo abwino amachita zinthu mololera ndi ana awo. Sawalanga mopitirira malire ndipo sakhala “ovuta kuwakondweretsa.” (1 Petulo 2:18) Amapatsa ana awo ufulu wochita zinthu zina paokha ngati anawo akuyesetsa kuchita zinthu bwino, m’malo mongowauza zochita pa chilichonse. Buku lina limati kumangouza mwana wanu zochita pa chilichonse kuli ngati “kulimbikira kuvina n’cholinga choti mvula ibwere. Mvula singabwere ndipo kuchita zimenezi n’kotopetsa.”

Yesani izi. Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa, kuti mudziwe ngati ndinu wololera.

◼ Kodi ndi liti pamene munayamikira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu?

◼ Kodi ndi liti pamene munakalipira mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu?

Chitani izi. Ngati mwavutika kuyankha funso loyambalo koma simunavutike kuyankha lachiwiri, ganizirani zimene mungachite kuti mukhale munthu wololera.

Mungachite bwino kukambirana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu zimene mungachite kuti mukhale wololera.

Ganizirani ufulu umene mungapatse mwana wanu akasonyeza kuti ndi wodalirika.

Mungachite bwino kukambirana ndi mwana wanu nthawi imene ayenera kumafika panyumba.

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Muyenera kukhala wololera ngati mmene amachitira dalaivala wosamala

Mfundo 6: Muzikhululukirana

“Pitirizani kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana wina ndi mnzake ndi mtima wonse.”—Akolose 3:13.

Mungachite bwanji? Kuti banja liziyenda bwino, pamafunika kuphunzira pa zimene zakhala zikuchitika m’mbuyomu. Koma si bwino kusunga zinthu zimene munalakwirana kale n’cholinga chomupezera mnzanuyo zifukwa. Mwachitsanzo, si bwino kunena kuti, “Nthawi zonse umachedwa” kapena, “Nthawi zonse sumamvetsera.” Mwamuna ndi mkazi amafunika kuzindikira kuti ‘kukhululukirana’ kumabweretsa “ulemerero.”—Miyambo 19:11.

Kufunika kwake. Mulungu “ndi wokhululukira” ngakhale kuti anthu zimawavuta kuchitira ena chifundo. (Salmo 86:5) Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sakambirana akalakwirana, zolakwazo zimangounjikana ndipo zingavute kuti akhululukirane. Aliyense angamalephere kunena mmene akumvera mumtima mwake, ndipo sizingam’khudze ngati mnzake akufuna kulankhula naye. Ngati m’banja mulibe chikondi, mwamuna kapena mkazi angamaone kuti akupanikizika.

Yesani izi. Onani zithunzi zakale za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu zimene munajambulitsa mutangokwatirana kumene kapena muli pachibwenzi. Yesetsani kukumbukira chikondi chimene munali nacho banja lanu lisanayambe kukumana ndi mavuto. Ganizirani makhalidwe abwino a mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu amene anakusangalatsani. Nanga panopa mumaona kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu ali ndi makhalidwe abwino ati?

◼ Kodi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu ali ndi makhalidwe ati amene inuyo mumawasirira?

◼ Ganizirani zinthu zabwino zimene ana anu angaphunzire kwa inu ngati mumakhululukira ena.

Chitani izi. Ganizirani chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zimene zingakuthandizeni kuti musamaphatikize zolakwa zakale ndi zatsopano za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

Mungachite bwino kuyamikira mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu chifukwa cha makhalidwe ake abwino.—Miyambo 31:28, 29.

Ganizirani zinthu zimene ana anu angachite zomwe mungafunike kuwakhululukira.

Mungachite bwino kukambirana ndi ana anu za kukhululuka ndiponso mmene kungathandizire ena m’banja lanu.

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Mukakhululukira ena, nkhani iyenera kuthera pomwepo ndipo simuyenera kuwakumbutsanso

Mfundo 7: Muzitsatira Malangizo Odalirika

Mungachite bwanji? Banja lili ngati nyumba. Kuti nyumba ikhale yolimba imafunika kumangidwa pamaziko abwino. Nalonso banja kuti likhale lolimba, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amafunika kutsatira malangizo odalirika.

Kufunika kwake. Malangizo a m’banja akupezeka paliponse monga m’mabuku, m’magazini, ndiponso m’mapulogalamu a pa TV. Alangizi ena amauza anthu amene ali ndi mavuto a m’banja kuti asathetse ukwati wawo pamene ena amawauza kuti angothetsa ukwatiwo. Ndiponso akatswiri amasinthasintha maganizo awo. Mwachitsanzo m’chaka cha 1994, dokotala wina wotchuka, yemwe ndi katswiri pankhani za achinyamata, analemba kuti atangoyamba ntchito yake, ankaona kuti “ana amasangalalako banja likatha n’kumakhala ndi bambo kapena mayi okha kuyerekeza ndi kukhala ndi makolo onse awiri amene sagwirizana.” Iye anati: “Ndinkaganiza kuti kuthetsa banja ndi kwabwino kuyerekeza ndi kukhalabe m’banja lamavuto.” Koma patapita zaka ziwiri dokotalayu anasintha maganizo ake ndipo ananena kuti: “Ukwati ukatha ana amavutika kwambiri.”

Maganizo a anthu amatha kusintha, koma malangizo abwino kwambiri ayenera kugwirizana ndi mfundo zopezeka m’Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo. Pamene mumawerenga nkhanizi mwina mwaona kuti mfundo ya m’Baibulo yalembedwa pamwamba, kuyambira tsamba 3 mpaka 8. Mfundo zimenezi zathandiza mabanja ambiri kuti aziyenda bwino. N’zoona kuti mabanja amenewa amakumananso ndi mavuto, komabe amayenda bwino chifukwa amatsatira malangizo odalirika a m’Baibulo. Malangizo a m’Baibulo ndi odalirika chifukwa Baibulo linalembedwa ndi Yehova Mulungu yemwenso anayambitsa banja.—2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17.

Yesani izi. Lembani penapake malemba amene ali pamwamba pa tsamba 3 mpaka 8. Mungawonjezerenso malemba ena amene akuthandizani. Asungeni kuti muziwagwiritsa ntchito.

Chitani izi. Yesetsani kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo m’banja lanu.

[Chithunzi pamasamba 8, 9]

Kuti nyumba ikhale yolimba imafunika kumangidwa pamaziko abwino. Maziko abwino a banja ndi malangizo odalirika a m’Baibulo