Mutu 1

Kodi Ndafika Poti N’kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

“N’zovuta kwambiri kukhala wopanda chibwenzi, komanso masiku ano kuli tianyamata tambiri tooneka bwino.”—Anatero Whitney.

“Tiatsikana tina timachita kundifunsira tokha, ndipo n’zovuta kukana. Koma ndikudziwiratu zomwe makolo anga anganene nditawauza zimenezi.”—Anatero Phillip.

MAGANIZO ofuna kukhala ndi munthu winawake wapamtima amene ungamamukonde, komanso amene angamakukonde, angakhale amphamvu kwambiri ngakhale uli wamng’ono. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Jenifer anati: “Ndinayamba kufuna kwambiri kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndili ndi zaka 11.” Mtsikana winanso dzina lake Brittany anati: “Kusukulu, umadzimva wotsalira ngati ulibe chibwenzi. Kaya munthuyo akhale wotani, bola chibwenzi basi.”

Nanga bwanji inuyo? Kodi mwafika poti n’kukhala ndi chibwenzi? Kuti mudziwe yankho la funso limeneli, choyamba tiyeni tikambirane funso lofunika kwambiri ili:

Kodi “Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi” N’kutani?

Chongani yankho lanu pamafunso otsatirawa:

Mumakonda kuyenda ndi winawake amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

Mwakopeka ndi munthu winawake amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu ndipo kangapo patsiku, mumalankhulana kapena kutumizirana mauthenga pafoni. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

Nthawi zonse mukakhala pagulu ndi anzanu, mumakhala pamodzi ndi munthu yemweyemweyo, koma si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

N’zosakayikitsa kuti simunavutike kuyankha funso loyambalo, koma mwina munaganizira kaye mozama musanayankhe mafunso enawo. Kodi kukhala ndi chibwenzi n’kutani kwenikweni? Kukhala ndi chibwenzi kumatanthauza kucheza m’njira ina iliyonse ndi munthu mmodzi amene mwakopeka naye ndipo nayenso wakopeka nanu. Choncho yankho la mafunso onse atatu amene ali pamwambawa ndi lakuti inde. Ngati mumalankhulana nthawi zonse, kaya pafoni kapena pamasom’pamaso, kaya poyera kapena mobisa, ndipo inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mumadziwa kuti mumakondana m’njira yodziwa awirinu, ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi. Koma kodi mwafika poti n’kuchita zimenezi? Kuganizira mafunso atatu otsatirawa kungakuthandizeni kupeza yankho la funsoli.

N’chifukwa Chiyani Mukufuna Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

M’madera ambiri anthu amaona kuti kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi njira yovomerezeka yodziwirana bwino. Komatu cholinga chokhalira ndi chibwenzi chiyenera kukhala chabwino, chofuna kudziwana ngati ndinu anthu oyenerana kumanga banja.

N’zoona kuti anzanu ena angamachite zibwenzi alibe cholinga chabwino. Mwinamwake amangosangalala kukhala ndi chibwenzi popanda cholinga chodzakwatirana. Ena amangoona chibwenzi chawocho ngati chinthu chinachake chodzitamira nacho, mwinanso ngati chikho chimene apambana pampikisano. Nthawi zambiri zibwenzi zotere sizichedwa kutha. Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Heather, anati: “Achinyamata ambiri amene amakhala ndi zibwenzi amathetsa zibwenzizo pakangotha mlungu umodzi kapena iwiri. Motero amayamba kuona chibwenzi ngati chinthu chosakhalitsa, ndipo tingati zimenezi zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi mtima wofuna kudzathetsa banja m’tsogolo, osati mtima wofuna kukhala ndi banja lolimba.”

Dziwani kuti mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu, maganizo ake onse amakhala pa inuyo. Choncho, onetsetsani kuti muli ndi cholinga chabwino mukamayamba chibwenzi. Taganizirani izi: Kodi mungamve bwanji munthu wina ataseweretsa maganizo anu ngati chidole choseweretsa ana? Mtsikana wina dzina lake Chelsea anati: “Nthawi zina ndimaganiza kuti anthu ayenera kuchita chibwenzi pofuna kungosangalala. Koma sizoona chifukwa mnzanuyo amazitenga kuti n’zenizeni.”

Kodi Mwafika Zaka Zoti Mungakhale ndi Chibwenzi?

Kodi mukuganiza kuti wachinyamata angakhale ndi chibwenzi ali ndi zaka zingati? ․․․․․

Ndiyeno funsani bambo kapena mayi anu kapenanso onse pamodzi, kenaka lembani zimene akuyankheni. ․․․․․

N’zosakayikitsa kuti zaka zimene inuyo munalemba n’zochepa kusiyana ndi zaka zimene makolo anu atchula. Kapena mwina sizinasiyane kwenikweni. Mwina muli m’gulu la achinyamata ambiri anzeru amene akudikira kuti adzakhale ndi chibwenzi akadzakula n’kufika podzidziwa bwinobwino. Izi n’zimene mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Danielle, anaganiza kuchita. Iye anati: “Ndikakumbukira za mmene ndinkaganizira zaka ziwiri zapitazo ndimaona kuti zinthu zimene ndikanakonda mwa mwamuna woti ndikwatirane naye, n’zosiyana ndi zimene ndingakonde panopo. Ngakhale panopo sindikukhulupirira kuti ndingathe kusankha bwino pankhani imeneyi. Ndikadzafika poona kuti ndasiya kusinthasintha maganizo kwazaka zingapo, m’pamene ndidzayambe kuganiza zokhala pachibwenzi.”

Kudikira n’kwabwino pachifukwa chinanso. Baibulo limatchula mawu oti ‘chimake cha unyamata’ pofotokoza nthawi imene chilakolako cha kugonana chimayamba kukhala champhamvu kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Panthawi imeneyi, kumangocheza ndi munthu mmodzimodzi amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu kukhoza kukolezera chilakolako chimenechi mpaka kuchita tchimo. N’zoona kuti anzanu ena sangaone vuto lina lililonse kuchita zimenezi. Ambiri mwa iwo amafunitsitsa atagonana ndi munthu wina n’cholinga choti adziwe kuti zimakhala bwanji anthu akamagonana. Koma mukhoza kupewa maganizo amenewa. (Aroma 12:2) Ndipotu, Baibulo limakulimbikitsani kuti: “Thawani dama.” (1 Akorinto 6:18) Mukadikira mpaka kudutsa pachimake paunyamata, mukhoza kupewa “zoipa.”—Mlaliki 11:10.

Kodi Mwafika Poti N’kulowa M’banja?

Kuti muthe kuyankha funso limeneli, muyenera kuyamba mwadzidziwa bwino. Taganizirani izi:

Mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi achibale anu. Kodi makolo anu ndiponso achibale anu mumakhala nawo bwanji? Kodi mumakonda kuwakwiyira, mwina kuwalankhula mawu okhadzula kapena achipongwe kuti amvetse mfundo yanu? Kodi iwowo anganene chiyani za inu pankhaniyi? Mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi achibale anu ndi mmenenso muzidzachitira zinthu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.—Werengani Aefeso 4:31.

Khalidwe lanu. Zinthu zikavuta, kodi mumataya mtima mwamsanga? Kodi ndinu wololera, kapena ndinu womva zanu zokha? Kodi mumatha kuchita zinthu moyenerera mukapanikizika? Kodi ndinu woleza mtima? Mukamayesetsa kukhala ndi zipatso za mzimu wa Mulungu panopa, zidzakuthandizani kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino m’tsogolo.—Werengani Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

Ndalama. Kodi mumatha kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama? Kodi mumakhala ndi ngongole nthawi zonse? Kodi mungathe kukhalitsa pantchito? Ngati simungathe, n’chifukwa chiyani? Kodi n’chifukwa cha ntchitoyo kapena bwana wanu? Kapena n’chifukwa cha khalidwe linalake loipa limene muyenera kusintha? Ngati simutha kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama pamene muli nokha, kodi mungadzakwanitse bwanji kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama m’banja lanu?—Werengani 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

Moyo wauzimu. Ngati ndinu wa Mboni za Yehova, kodi muli ndi makhalidwe otani auzimu? Kodi mumayesetsa panokha kuwerenga Mawu a Mulungu, kuchita utumiki, ndi kutenga nawo mbali pamisonkhano yachikhristu? M’pofunika kuti mukhale munthu wolimba mwauzimu, chifukwa chakuti munthu yemwe mungadzamange naye banja adzafunika munthu woteroyo.—Werengani Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

Zimene Mungachite

Kukakamizika kukhala ndi chibwenzi musanakonzekere, kuli ngati kukukakamizani kulemba mayeso omaliza a maphunziro enaake omwe mwangoyamba kumene kuphunzira. N’zodziwikiratu kuti zimenezi sizingakusangalatseni. Mungafunike kuphunzira mokwanira kuti mudziwe bwino zinthu zimene zingadzabwere pa mayesowo.

N’chimodzimodzi ndi kukhala pachibwenzi. Monga mmene taonera, kukhala pachibwenzi si nkhani yamasewera. Choncho, musanayambe kuganiza zopeza chibwenzi, muyenera kuphunzira kaye zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Muyenera kuphunzira zimene mungachite kuti muzigwirizana bwino ndi anthu. Zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kuti pamene mwapeza munthu woyenera, chibwenzi chanu chidzayende bwino kwambiri. Ndipotu, kuti anthu akhale ndi ukwati wabwino amafunika kukhala mabwenzi abwino.

Kudikira kaye musanakhale pachibwenzi, sikuti kumakupherani ufulu. M’malo mwake kumakupatsani ufulu wambiri woti ‘mukondwere ndi unyamata wanu.’ (Mlaliki 11:9) Ndipo mumakhala ndi nthawi yosintha kuti mukhale munthu wabwino ndiponso kuti moyo wanu wauzimu, womwe ndi wofunika kwambiri, ukhale wolimba.—Maliro 3:27.

Pakalipano, mungasangalale kucheza ndi anyamata kapena atsikana osiyanasiyana. Kodi mungacheze nawo motani? Mungacheze nawo pagulu loyang’aniridwa bwino la anthu amisinkhu yosiyanasiyana. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Tammy anati: “Ndimaona kuti kucheza pagulu n’kosangalatsa kwambiri. Zimakhala bwino kukhala ndi anzako ambiri.” Monica nayenso anavomereza kuti: “Kucheza pagulu n’kwabwino kwambiri chifukwa mumatha kudziwana ndi anthu amakhalidwe osiyanasiyana.”

Koma ngati muyamba mudakali wamng’ono kumangocheza ndi munthu mmodzimodzi, mukhoza kudzanong’oneza bondo m’tsogolo. Choncho, fatsani kaye. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi imeneyi kuphunzira mmene mungakhalire ndi mabwenzi abwino nthawi yaitali. Ndiyeno mukadzayamba kuganiza zokhala ndi chibwenzi, mudzakhala mutadzidziwa bwino ndiponso mutadziwa bwino makhalidwe amene mungafune mwa munthu amene mudzakwatirane naye.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 29 NDI 30

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.”—Miyambo 14:15.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Kuti mukonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi komanso kulowa m’banja, werengani 2 Petulo 1:5-7 ndipo sankhani khalidwe limodzi limene mukufuna kuyesetsa kukhala nalo. Pakatha mwezi umodzi, onani zimene mwaphunzira za khalidwelo ndiponso zimene mwachita kuti mukhale nalo.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kafukufuku wosiyanasiyana akusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri amene amalowa m’banja asanakwanitse zaka 20 zakubadwa, banja lawo limatha pasanapite zaka zisanu.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Pokonzekera kulowa m’banja, ndiyenera kuyesetsa kukhala ndi makhalidwe awa: ․․․․․

Ndingayesetse kukhala nawo mwa kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi ndi pamalo kapena pazochitika zotani pamene mungacheze moyenera ndi anthu amene si anyamata kapena atsikana anzanu?

● Kodi mungathandize bwanji m’bale wanu amene akufuna kuyamba chibwenzi adakali wamng’ono kwambiri?

● Ngati muli pachibwenzi koma mulibe cholinga chokwatirana, kodi zimenezo zingasokoneze motani maganizo a mnzanuyo?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 18]

“Ndikuganiza kuti munthu uyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe umam’kondadi ndipo umaona kuti awirinu mungadzakhale ndi tsogolo labwino. Uyenera kukonda munthuyo osati kungofuna kukhala pachibwenzi.”​—Anatero Amber

[Chithunzi pamasamba 16, 17]

Mukakhala pachibwenzi popanda cholinga chokwatirana, mumafanana ndi mwana yemwe amaseweretsa chidole chake chatsopano kenako n’kuchitaya

Mutu 2

Kodi kuchita Chibwenzi Mobisa N’koopsa Motani?

Jessica anathedwa nzeru mnyamata wina wa m’kalasi mwake, dzina lake Jeremy, atayamba kusonyeza kuti akum’funa. Ponena za Jeremy, Jessica anati: “Anali mnyamata wooneka bwino kwambiri, ndipo anzanga ankandiuza kuti sindidzapezanso mnyamata wakhalidwe labwino ngati ameneyu. Panali atsikana angapo amene ankamusirira koma iye sankawafuna. Ankangofuna ineyo basi.”

Pasanapite nthawi yaitali, Jeremy anafunsira Jessica. Jessica anauza Jeremy kuti iye ndi wa Mboni za Yehova, motero sangaloledwe kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata yemwe si wa Mboni. Jessica anati: “Nditamuuza zimenezi, Jeremy anatulukira nzeru inayake. Iye anati, ‘Tingathe kumangoyendetsa chibwenzi chathucho makolo ako osadziwa.’”

KODI inuyo mungatani ngati munthu amene amakudololani atakuuzani nzeru yotereyi? Mwina mudabwa kumva kuti Jessica anamvera maganizo a Jeremy aja. Iye anati: “Ndinkaganiza kuti nditakhala naye pachibwenzi ndingathe kumuphunzitsa kuti ayambe kukonda Yehova.” Koma kodi zinaterodi? Chakumapeto kwa nkhaniyi tiona zimene zinachitika, koma choyamba tiyeni tione zimene zimachititsa ena kuchita chibwenzi mobisa.

N’chifukwa Chiyani Amachita Zimenezi?

Kodi achinyamata ena amachitiranji chibwenzi mobisa? Mnyamata wina dzina lake David ananena mwachidule kuti: “Iwowa amadziwa kuti makolo awo sangasangalale nazo.” Mtsikana wina dzina lake Jane anatchula chifukwa chinanso. Iye anati: “Ena amachita zibwenzi mobisa pofuna kutsimikizira kuti angathe kuchita zinthu paokha, popanda kuuzidwa zochita. Akamaona kuti sakupatsidwa ufulu wochita zinthu ngati munthu wamkulu, amaona kuti ndi bwino kungochita zimene akufuna popanda kuuza makolo awo.”

Kodi mungaganizire zifukwa zina zimene zimapangitsa ena kuchita chibwenzi mobisa? Lembani m’munsimu zifukwazo.

․․․․․

Mosakayikira, mukudziwa kuti Baibulo limati muyenera kumvera makolo anu. (Aefeso 6:1) Ndipotu ngati makolo anu akukuletsani kukhala pachibwenzi, ayenera kuti ali ndi zifukwa zomveka. Komabe musadabwe ngati mutakhala ndi maganizo otsatirawa:

● Ndimaona kuti ndine wotsalira chifukwa aliyense ali ndi chibwenzi kupatulapo ineyo.

● Munthu amene si wachipembedzo changa wandidolola.

● Ndimafuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi Mkhristu mnzanga ngakhale kuti sindinafike pamsinkhu wolowa m’banja.

N’kutheka kuti mukudziwiratu zimene makolo anu anganene pa maganizo amenewa. Ndipo pansi pamtima mungavomereze kuti makolo anuwo akunena zoona. Komabe, mwina mumamva ngati mmene ankamvera mtsikana wina dzina lake Manami, yemwe anati: “Ndimafuna kwambiri kukhala ndi chibwenzi moti nthawi zina ndimakayikira ngati ndi bwino kukhalabe wopanda chibwenzi. Achinyamata ambiri masiku ano, amaona kuti kukhala wopanda chibwenzi n’kutsalira kwambiri. Ndiponso palibe amene angafune kukhala yekhayekha.” Motero ena amachita chibwenzi mobisira makolo awo. Kodi amachita zimenezi motani?

“Anatiuza Kuti Tisaulule”

Mawu akuti “chibwenzi chobisa,” akusonyezeratu kuti pali zinazake zachinyengo. Ena amayendetsa chibwenzi chotere polankhulana pafoni kapena pa Intaneti. Akakhala pagulu, amangoonetsa ngati palibe chilichonse, koma mungadabwe kwambiri mutadziwa zimene amauzana pa Intaneti ndiponso pafoni.

Njira inanso yobisira chibwenzi choterechi ndi yoti iwowa amaitana gulu la anzawo kuti akachite zinazake pamodzi, koma kenaka amene ali pachibwenziwo amangocheza awiri basi. James anati: “Nthawi ina, tinaitanidwa kuti tikacheze kwinakwake monga gulu, osadziwa kuti imeneyi inali njira yoti mnyamata ndi mtsikana winawake akacheze awiri, ndipo anatiuza kuti tisaulule.”

Monga mmene James ananenera, nthawi zambiri anthu amathandizidwa ndi anzawo poyendetsa chibwenzi mobisa. Carol anati: “Mwina pamakhala mnzako mmodzi kapena awiri amene amadziwa za chibwenzicho koma sanena chilichonse chifukwa safuna kutchedwa kuti ndi apakamwa.” Nthawi zina, ena amachita kunena bodza lamkunkhuniza. Beth, wazaka 17, anati: “Ambiri amabisa zoti ali pachibwenzi ponamiza makolo awo za kumene akupita.” Misaki, mtsikana wazaka 19, anachita zimenezo. Iye anati: “Ndinkangopeka zoti ndiwauze. Komano pofuna kuti makolo anga asasiye kundikhulupirira, ndinkayesetsa kuti ndisamaname pa china chilichonse kupatulapo za chibwenzicho basi.”

Kuopsa Kochita Chibwenzi Mobisa

Ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi chobisa kapena ngati muli nacho kale, m’pofunika kuti muganizire mafunso awiri otsatirawa:

Kodi khalidwe langali likandifikitsa kuti? Kodi muli ndi cholinga chokwatirana ndi munthuyo posachedwapa? Mnyamata wina wazaka 20 dzina lake Evan, anati: “Kukhala pachibwenzi popanda cholinga chomanga banja n’kofanana ndi kutsatsa malonda chinthu chinachake chimene sukuchigulitsa.” Mukatero, n’chiyani chingachitike? Lemba la Miyambo 13:12 limati: “Chiyembekezo chozengereza chidwalitsa mtima.” Kodi mungafune kuti munthu amene mumam’kondadi adwale mtima? Taonani chenjezo linanso: Kuchita chibwenzi mobisa kumakumanitsani mwayi woti makolo anu kapena achikulire ena okukondani akuthandizeni. Choncho, m’posavuta kuti muchite chiwerewere.—Agalatiya 6:7.

Kodi Yehova Mulungu akumva bwanji ndi zimene ndikuchitazi? Baibulo limati: “Zinthu zonse zili pambalambanda ndi zoonekera poyera pamaso . . . pa uyo amene tidzayenera kuyankha kwa iye.” (Aheberi 4:13) Motero musadzinamize kuti mukubisa chibwenzi chanu kapena cha mnzanu, chifukwatu Yehova akuzidziwa kale zimenezo. Choncho, ngati mukuchita zachinyengo, dziwani kuti mukusewera paulimbo. Ndipotu, Yehova Mulungu amadana kwambiri ndi bodza. Moti “lilime lonama” lili m’gulu la zinthu zimene Baibulo linachita kuneneratu kuti iye amadana nazo.—Miyambo 6:16-19.

Ululani

N’chinthu chanzeru kuuza makolo anu kapena Mkhristu wamkulu wokhwima mwauzimu za chibwenzi chilichonse chimene mukuyendetsa mobisa. Ndipo ngati muli ndi mnzanu amene akuchita chibwenzi mobisa, musam’thandize chinyengo chakecho pomusungira chinsinsi. (1 Timoteyo 5:22) Komanso, kodi mungamve bwanji ngati mnzanuyo atagwa m’vuto chifukwa cha chibwenzicho? Kodi sitinganene kuti inuyo mwachititsa nawo vutolo?

Tiyerekeze kuti muli ndi mnzanu amene amadwala matenda a shuga ndiyeno akudya zinthu zotsekemera kwambiri mobisa. Inuyo mutadziwa zimenezi, mnzanuyo akukupemphani kuti musaulule. Kodi mungatani? Kodi nkhawa yanu ingakhale pa kupulumutsa moyo wake kapena kumusungira chinsinsi?

N’chimodzimodzinso ngati mukudziwa kuti mnzanu winawake akuchita chibwenzi mobisa. Musaope kuti mudana naye, muululeni. Ngati ali mnzanu weniwenidi, patsogolo pake adzazindikira kuti munatero chifukwa chomufunira zabwino.—Salmo 141:5.

Mobisa Kapena Mosaonetsera?

Sikuti nthawi zonse anthu akakhala pachibwenzi chimene anthu ena sakuchidziwa ndiye kuti akuchita zolakwika. Tayerekezerani kuti mnyamata ndi mtsikana akufuna kudziwana bwino, komano sakufuna kudzionetsera kwa kanthawi ndithu. N’kutheka kuti akutero pa chifukwa chofanana ndi chimene mnyamata wina dzina lake Thomas, ananena. Iye anati: “Iwo safuna kuti anthu aziwavutitsa ndi mafunso monga akuti: ‘Kodi mukwatirana liti?’”

N’zoona kuti zonena za anthu ena zingathe kukulowetsani m’mavuto. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:7) Motero, anyamata ndi atsikana ena amaona kuti ndi bwino kusaonetsera akangoyamba kumene chibwenzi mpaka patapita nthawi ndithu. (Miyambo 10:19) Anna, yemwe ali ndi zaka 20, anati: “Kusaonetsera kumathandiza anthuwo kuti akhale ndi nthawi yokwanira yoona bwinobwino ngati onse atsimikizadi kumanga banja. Ndiyeno akatsimikizira zimenezi, m’pamene angayambe kuonetsera kwa anthu.”

Komabe, dziwani kuti n’kulakwa kuwabisira anthu amene ayenera kudziwa za chibwenzicho, monga makolo anu komanso makolo a mnzanuyo. Ngati mukuona kuti simungauze munthu wina aliyense, dzifunseni chifukwa chake. Kodi n’kutheka kuti mukudziwa kuti makolo anu ali ndi zifukwa zomveka zokuletsani kutero?

“Ndinadziwa Zoyenera Kuchita”

Jessica, amene tam’tchula poyamba uja, anaganiza zothetsa chibwenzi chobisa ndi Jeremy atamva zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina wachikhristu amenenso anachita chibwenzi mobisa. Jessica anati: “Nditamva mmene iye anathetsera chibwenzicho ndinadziwa zoyenera kuchita.” Kodi zinali zosavuta kuti Jessica athetse chibwenzi chakecho? Ayi. Jessica anati: “Uyutu anali mnyamata yekhayo amene ndinam’kondadi. Ndinkalira tsiku lililonse kwa milungu ingapo.”

Komabe, Jessica ankadziwa kuti amakonda Yehova. Motero, ngakhale kuti anasokonezeka pang’ono, ankafunitsitsa kuchita zoyenera. Ndipo patapita nthawi, iye anasiya kuganiza za chibwenzicho. Jessica anati: “Tsopano ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova walimba kwambiri. Ndikuyamikira kwambiri kuti iye amatipatsa malangizo ofunika panthawi yoyenera.”

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Timafuna kuchita zinthu zonse moona mtima.”—Aheberi 13:18.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

M’posafunika kuti muzingouza aliyense kuti muli pachibwenzi. Koma mufunikira kuuza anthu amene ali oyenera kudziwa. Anthu amenewa angakhale makolo anu ndiponso makolo a mnzanuyo.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Pamafunika kukhulupirirana kuti anthu akhale pa ubwenzi wokhalitsa. Kuchita chibwenzi mobisa kumachititsa kuti makolo anu asamakukhulupirireni, ndiponso chibwenzi choterocho chimakhala chopanda maziko abwino.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ngati ndikuchita chibwenzi mobisa ndi Mkhristu mnzanga, ndiyenera kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Ngati mnzanga akuchita chibwenzi mobisa, ndiyenera kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Taonani mawu omwe ali m’zilembo zakuda kwambiri patsamba 22 m’buku lino. Kodi ndi mawu ati omwe akufotokoza mmene inuyo mumamvera nthawi zina?

● Kodi mungathane bwanji ndi maganizo anuwo popanda kuchita chibwenzi mobisa?

● Kodi mungatani mutadziwa kuti mnzanu akuchita chibwenzi mobisa, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani mungasankhe kuchita zimenezo?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 27]

“Ndinathetsa chibwenzi chomwe ndinkachita mobisa. N’zoona kuti zinali zovuta kwambiri kuchita zimenezi chifukwa tsiku lililonse ndikapita ku sukulu ndinkamuona mnyamatayo. Koma Yehova Mulungu amadziwa zonse ndipo amaona zimene ifeyo sitingathe kuona. Choncho, tiyenera kumudalira.’’—Anatero Jessica”

[Chithunzi pamasamba 25]

Kusaulula mnzanu amene akuchita chibwenzi mobisa kuli ngati kusaulula munthu wodwala matenda a shuga amene akudya zotsekemera kwambiri mobisa

Mutu 3

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Ndi Woyenera Kuti Ndimange Naye Banja?

Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa:

Kodi ndi zinthu ndiponso makhalidwe ati amene panopa mukufuna kuti munthu wodzamanga naye banja akhale nawo? Pa zimene zili m’munsimu, lembani chizindikiro ichi ✔ pazinthu zinayi zimene mukuona kuti n’zofunika kwambiri.

□ Wokongola □ Wokonda zinthu zauzimu

□ Wochezeka □ Wokhulupirika

□ Wotchuka □ Wakhalidwe labwino

□ Wanthabwala □ Woganizira zam’tsogolo

Pamene munali wamng’ono, kodi munakopekapo ndi munthu wina? Pa zimene zili m’mwambazi, lembani chizindikiro ichi ✘ pachinthu chimodzi chimene chinakukopani kwambiri panthawiyo.

PALIBE cholakwika chilichonse ndi zinthu zimene zili pamwambazi, ndipo chilichonse pachokha chingakope munthu. Komabe, kodi simukuvomereza kuti achinyamata ambiri akakopeka ndi munthu, amatengeka kwambiri ndi zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni ngati zimene zili kumanzerezo?

Koma munthu akamakula, nzeru zake zimakhwima ndipo amayamba kuganizira makhalidwe ofunika kwambiri ngati amene ali kumanjawo. Mwachitsanzo, amazindikira kuti mtsikana wokongola kwambiri m’dera lawo angathe kukhala wosakhulupirika, kapena mnyamata wotchuka kwambiri m’kalasi angathe kukhala wakhalidwe loipa. Ngati munthu wapitirira pachimake pa unyamata, amayamba kuganiza kwambiri za makhalidwe ofunika poyankha funso lakuti, “Kodi munthu ameneyu ndi woyenera kuti ndimange naye banja?”

Dzidziweni Bwino Choyamba

Musanayambe kuganiza za munthu amene angakhale woyenera kumanga naye banja, muyenera kudzidziwa bwino choyamba. Kuti muthe kuchita zimenezi, yankhani mafunso otsatirawa:

Kodi ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene ndili nawo? ․․․․․

Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene sindichita bwino? ․․․․․

Kodi ndikufuna kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga azidzandichitira zotani ndipo ndikufuna kukhala ndi ubwenzi wotani ndi Mulungu? ․․․․․

Kudzidziwa bwino kungakhale kovuta ndithu, koma mafunso ngati amenewa angakuthandizeni. Mukadzidziwa bwino, m’pamene mungathe kupeza munthu wokuyenerani yemwe angakuthandizeni kuti muzichita zinthu zabwino.a Ngati mukuona kuti mwapeza munthu woteroyo, kodi mungatani?

Kodi Ndingangosankha Aliyense?

“Kodi ungakonde kuti tikhale pachibwenzi?” Funso limeneli lingakupangitseni kuipidwa kapena kusangalala ndipo zimenezi zingadalire munthu amene wakufunsiraniyo. Tiyerekezere kuti mwalola. Kodi m’kupita kwanthawi, mungadziwe bwanji kuti mnzanuyo ndi wokuyenerani?

Yerekezerani kuti mukufuna kugula nsapato. Mutalowa m’sitolo mwapeza nsapato zimene zakusangalatsani kwambiri. Koma mukukhumudwa chifukwa mutaziyesa, mukuona kuti zikukuthinani kwambiri. Kodi mungatani? Kodi mungagulebe nsapatozo? Kapena mungayang’ane zina? N’zodziwikiratu kuti mungasiye nsapatozo ndi kuyang’ana zina. Sichingakhale chinthu chanzeru kugula ndi kuvala nsapato zothina.

Zimenezi n’zofanana ndi kupeza munthu woyenera kumanga naye banja. Pamoyo wanu mutha kukopeka ndi anyamata kapena atsikana angapo. Koma sikuti onsewo angakhale okuyenerani. Mosakayikira mungafune munthu amene mungadzakhale naye momasuka, wogwirizana ndi khalidwe lanu ndiponso zolinga zanu. (Genesis 2:18; Mateyo 19:4-6) Kodi munthu wotereyu mwam’peza? Ngati mwam’peza, kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti ndi wokuyenererani?

Onani Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

Kuti mudziwe ngati munthuyo ndi wokuyenererani, ganizirani za moyo wake mofatsa. Koma m’pofunika kusamala chifukwa mungathe kukopeka naye n’kumanyalanyaza kuona zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Musapupulume, yesetsani kuona khalidwe lake lenileni. Kuchita zimenezi kumafuna khama, koma n’zimene muyenera kuchita. Mwachitsanzo, yerekezerani kuti mukufuna kugula galimoto inayake. Kodi mungatani kuti mudziwe ngati galimotoyo ili yabwino? Kodi mungakhutire ndi maonekedwe ake okha? Kodi simungachite bwino kufufuzanso zinthu zina zofunika kwambiri zokhudza galimotoyo, monga kulimba kwa injini yake?

Kusankha munthu womanga naye banja ndi nkhani yaikulu kwambiri kuposa kusankha galimoto. Komabe anthu ambiri akakhala pachibwenzi, safufuza mokwanira za mnzawoyo. M’malo mwake amangotengeka ndi zinthu zimene onse awiri amakonda. Ndipo anganene kuti: ‘Timakonda nyimbo zofanana.’ ‘Timakonda kuchita zinthu zofanana.’ ‘Timagwirizana pa chilichonse.’ Monga taonera, ngati mwapitiriradi pa chimake cha unyamata, mudzayang’ana zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Mudzaona “munthu wa mkati, wa mu mtima.”—1 Petulo 3:4; Aefeso 3:16.

Mwachitsanzo, m’malo mongoona mmene mumagwirizanirana pazinthu zina, mungachite bwino kuona zimene zimachitika mukasemphana maganizo ndipo zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kudziwana bwino. Mwina mungafune kudziwa kuti kodi amangoumirira zake zokha mpaka ‘kupsa mtima’ kapenanso kulankhula “mawu achipongwe”? (Agalatiya 5:19, 20; Akolose 3:8) Kapena kodi iye amasonyeza kuti ndi womvetsa zinthu ndiponso wololera maganizo a anthu ena pofuna kukhazikitsa mtendere, malinga ngati enawo sakuphwanya mfundo za m’Baibulo?—Yakobe 3:17.

Mfundo inanso yofunika kuganizira ndi yakuti: Kodi mnzanuyo ndi wofuna zake zokha, wokonda kulamula kapenanso wansanje? Kodi amafuna kuti muzimuuza chilichonse chimene mukuchita kapena kulikonse kumene mukupita? Mtsikana wina dzina lake Nicole anati: “Ndamvapo za anthu akukangana ali pachibwenzi chifukwa wina sanauze mnzake kumene akupita. Ndikuganiza kuti zikamatere, ndiye kuti pali vuto lalikulu.”—1 Akorinto 13:4.

Mfundo zimene taonazi zikukhudza umunthu ndi khalidwe. Komabe, m’pofunikanso kudziwa mbiri ya mnzanuyo. Kodi anthu ena amamuona bwanji? Mungachite bwino kufunsa anthu odalirika monga amumpingo wake, amene amudziwa munthuyo kwanthawi yaitali. Anthuwo adzakuthandizani kudziwa ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi mbiri yabwino.—Machitidwe 16:1, 2.

Mungadziwe zambiri za mnzanuyo mwa kulemba zimene mwaona. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kudziwa ngati iye akukwanitsa zimene takambiranazi.

Umunthu ․․․․․

Khalidwe ․․․․․

Mbiri ․․․․․

Mungapindulenso mwa kuwerenga bokosi lakuti “Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mwamuna Wabwino?” patsamba 39 kapena lakuti “Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mkazi Wabwino?” patsamba 40. Mafunso amene afunsidwa m’mabokosiwa angakuthandizeni kudziwa ngati mnzanuyo alidi woyenera kumanga naye banja.

Nanga bwanji ngati pambuyo poganiza bwinobwino mwaona kuti mnzanuyo sangakhale woyenera kumanga naye banja? Zikatero, mufunika kudzifunsa kuti:

Kodi Ndithetse Chibwenzichi?

Nthawi zina zingakhale bwino kuthetsa chibwenzi. Taganizirani zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina dzina lake Jill. Iye ananena kuti: “Poyamba zinkandisangalatsa kwambiri kuona kuti bwenzi langa nthawi zonse ankafuna kudziwa kumene ndili, zimene ndikuchita, ndiponso anthu amene ndinali nawo. Koma zinafika poti sankafuna kuti ndizicheza ndi munthu wina koma iye yekha basi. Ndipo ankachita nsanje ngakhale ndikamacheza ndi anthu a m’banja lathu, makamaka bambo anga. Nditathetsa chibwenzicho ndinadzimva ngati kuti ndatula chimtolo cholemetsa.”

Zinthu zoterezi zinam’chitikiranso Sarah. Iye anayamba kuona kuti John, mnyamata amene anali naye pachibwenzi, anali wachipongwe, wovuta ndiponso wamwano. Sarah anati: “Tsiku lina mnzangayo anafika kwathu atachedwa ndi maola atatu. Amayi anga atamutsegulira chitseko anangowanyalanyaza n’kundiuza kuti: ‘Tiye tizipita! Tachedwa.’ Iye sananene kuti ‘Ndachedwa,’ koma ‘Tachedwa.’ Iye anafunikira kupepesa kapena kufotokoza chifukwa chimene wachedwera. Komanso anayenera kuwapatsa ulemu amayi anga.” N’zoona kuti kuchita chinthu chokhumudwitsa kamodzi kokha kapena ngati munthuyo ali ndi khalidwe lina lokhumudwitsa si ndiye kuti chibwenzi chanu chithe. (Salmo 130:3) Koma Sarah atazindikira kuti John anali wamwano ndiponso kuti limeneli linalidi khalidwe lake, anasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho.

Mofanana ndi Jill ndi Sarah, kodi mungatani ngati mwazindikira kuti munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi sadzakhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino? Zitakero, musanyalanyaze maganizo anuwo. Zingakhale bwino kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ngakhale kuti kuchita zimenezi n’kovuta. Lemba la Miyambo 22:3 limati: “Wochenjera aona zoipa, nabisala.” Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanuyo akusonyeza chizindikiro chimodzi kapena zingapo zopezeka pa masamba 39 ndi 40 zosonyeza kuti pali vuto lalikulu, muyenera kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ngati mnzanuyo sakusintha. N’zoona kuti kuthetsa chibwenzi n’kovuta. Koma ukwati ndi mgwirizano wa moyo wonse. Choncho ndi bwino kuvutika maganizo kwa nthawi yochepa panopa, kusiyana ndi kuti mudzavutike maganizo kwa moyo wanu wonse.

Mmene Mungamuuzire

Kodi mungathetse bwanji chibwenzicho? Choyamba, sankhani malo ndi nthawi yabwino kuti mukambirane zimenezi. Kodi malo ndi nthawi yabwino zingakhale ziti? Ganizirani zimene inuyo mungakonde kuti akuchitireni zitakhala kuti akuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mnzanuyo. (Mateyo 7:12) Kodi mungakonde kukuuzirani pagulu? Ayi. Mungachite nkhanza kwambiri ngati mutathetsa chibwenzicho pafoni, kumulembera uthenga pafoni yam’manja, kapena kumutumizira uthenga pakompyuta, pokhapokha ngati pali zifukwa zomveka zochitira zimenezo. Choncho sankhani nthawi ndi malo abwino kuti mukambirane zimenezi.

Kodi mungaiyambe bwanji nkhaniyi? Mtumwi Paulo analimbikitsa Akhristu ‘kulankhula zoona’ wina ndi mnzake. (Aefeso 4:25) Choncho njira yabwino ndiyo kulankhula mosamala koma motsimikiza mtima. Fotokozani mosapita m’mbali chifukwa chimene inuyo mukuonera kuti chibwenzicho chithe. Simufunikira kumuyalira zolakwa zake zonse kapena kunena zinthu zambirimbiri zomunyoza. M’malo monena kuti, “Suchita” zakutizakuti kapena “Sunachitepo” zakutizakuti, zingakhale bwino kugwiritsa ntchito mawu osonyeza mmene inuyo mukumvera, monga akuti “Ineyo ndimafuna munthu amene . . . ” kapena “Ndikuona kuti chibwenzi chithe chifukwa chakuti . . . ”

Imeneyi si nthawi yolankhula mokayikira kapena yololera maganizo a mnzanuyo. Kumbukirani kuti mwasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho chifukwa chakuti pali vuto lalikulu. Choncho samalani ngati mnzanuyo akuchita zinthu kapena kulankhula mochenjera ndi cholinga choti musinthe maganizo. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Lori ananena kuti, “Nditathetsa chibwenzi, mnyamatayo anayamba kuchita zinthu ngati wasokonezeka maganizo kwambiri. Ndinadziwa kuti ankachita zimenezo kuti ndimumvere chisoni. Ngakhale kuti ndinamumveradi chisoni, sindinasinthe maganizo chifukwa cha zimenezo.” Mofanana ndi Lori, tsimikizirani kuti musasinthe zimene mwasankha. Mukati ayi akhaledi ayi.—Yakobe 5:12.

Zimene Zingachitike Mutathetsa Chibwenzi

Sizachilendo kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri pambuyo pothetsa chibwenzi. Mwinanso mungamve ngati mmene anamvera wamasalmo amene anati: “Ndapindika, ndawerama kwakukulu; ndimayenda woliralira tsiku lonse.” (Salmo 38:6) Anzanu ena okufunirani zabwino angayese kukuthandizani mwa kukulimbikitsani kuti muyambirenso chibwenzicho. Koma samalani. Inuyo ndi amene mungadzavutike mukayambiranso chibwenzicho, osati anzanuwo. Choncho musalole kusintha maganizo, ngakhale kuti mungamve chisoni ndithu.

Dziwani kuti m’kupita kwanthawi chisonicho chidzatha. Koma panthawi imeneyi yesani kuchita zinthu ngati zotsatirazi, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupirira.

Fotokozani maganizo anu kwa munthu amene mumamukhulupirira.b (Miyambo 15:22) Pempherani kwa Yehova za nkhaniyo. (Salmo 55:22) Yesetsani kukhala wotanganidwa ndi zinthu zina. (1 Akorinto 15:58) Musamadzipatule. (Miyambo 18:1) Chitani zinthu ndi anthu ena amene angakulimbikitseni. Yesetsani kumaganiza zinthu zolimbikitsa zokhazokha.—Afilipi 4:8.

Patapita nthawi, mwina mungadzapeze chibwenzi china. Zikadzatero, mudzatha kuona zinthu bwinobwino chifukwa chakuti mwaphunzirapo kanthu. Mwinamwake nthawi imeneyo, mukadzadzifunsa kuti “Kodi munthu ameneyu ndi woyenera kuti ndimange naye banja?” mudzayankha kuti, inde!

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 31

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Ngakhale mwana adziwika ndi ntchito zake; ngati ntchito yake ili yoyera ngakhale yolungama.”—Miyambo 20:11.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Chitani zinthu zotsatirazi zimene zingasonyeze makhalidwe anu enieni:

● Phunzirani Mawu a Mulungu pamodzi.

● Onani mmene mnzanuyo amachitira zinthu pamisonkhano ya mpingo ndi muutumiki.

● Gwirani nawo ntchito yoyeretsa ndiponso yomanga Nyumba za Ufumu.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti maukwati a anthu osiyana zipembedzo nthawi zambiri amatha.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Nditakopeka ndi munthu wosakhulupirira, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Kuti ndidziwe zambiri za khalidwe la munthu amene ndili naye pachibwenzi, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi muli ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene angadzathandize muukwati wanu?

● Kodi ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene mungakonde kuti mnzanu woti mudzamange naye banja akhale nawo?

● Kodi pangakhale mavuto otani ngati mutakwatirana ndi munthu wosiyana naye chipembedzo?

● Kodi mungatani kuti mudziwe za khalidwe ndi mbiri ya munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 37]

“Mmene munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi amachitira zinthu ndi achibale ake ndi mmenenso azidzachitira zinthu ndi inuyo.”​—Anatero Tony

[Bokosi patsamba 34]

“Musamangidwe M’goli ndi Osakhulupirira”

Mosakayikira, mumaona kuti mfundo ya pa 2 Akorinto 6:14, yakuti, “musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupirira,” ndi yothandiza. Ngakhale zili choncho, mungathe kukopeka ndi munthu wosakhulupirira. Chifukwa chiyani? Nthawi zina mungangokopeka ndi kukongola kwake. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Mark anati: “Panali mtsikana wina amene nthawi zonse ndinali kukumana naye kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi. Nthawi zonse, mtsikanayu ankayesetsa kuti tizilankhulana. Zinali zosavuta kuti tiyambe kugwirizana.”

Pazochitika ngati zimenezi, mungathe kuchita zinthu mwanzeru ngati mukudzidziwa bwino, mumadalira kwambiri mfundo za m’Baibulo komanso ngati mumachita zinthu mozindikira, osati chifukwa chongotengeka maganizo. Kunena zoona, munthu amene mungakopeke nayeyo, kaya akhale wokongola kapena wooneka ngati wamakhalidwe abwino, sadzakuthandizani kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu.—Yakobe 4:4.

N’zoona kuti ngati mwayamba chibwenzi, n’zovuta kuchithetsa. Zimenezi n’zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina dzina lake Cindy. Iye anati: “Ndinkalira tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndinkangoganiza za mnyamatayo nthawi zonse, ngakhale pamisonkhano yachikhristu. Ndinkamukonda kwambiri moti ndinkaganiza kuti kuli bwino kufa kusiyana ndi kuthetsa chibwenzicho.” Posapita nthawi, Cindy anaona kuti malangizo amene amayi ake anamupatsa, onena za kuipa kochita chibwenzi ndi munthu wosakhulupirira, anali anzeru. Iye anati: “Ndikusangalala kuti ndinathetsa chibwenzicho. Sindikukayikira kuti Yehova adzandipatsa chilichonse chimene ndikufuna.”

Kodi zimene zinachitikira Cindy inunso zikukuchitikirani? Ngati ndi choncho, musayese kuthana nalo nokha vuto limenelo. Auzeni makolo anu zimenezi. Izi n’zimene Jim anachita atakopeka ndi mtsikana wina kusukulu. Iye anati: “Patapita nthawi, ndinauza makolo anga kuti andithandize. Izi zinandithandiza kwambiri kuchotsa maganizo olakwikawo.” Akulu kumpingo angathenso kukuthandizani. Bwanji osalankhula ndi mmodzi wa iwo ndi kumufotokozera zimene mukukumana nazo?—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 39]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mwamuna Wabwino?

Zinthu Zofunika Zokhudza Khalidwe Lake

◻ Kodi amasamalira bwanji udindo uliwonse umene ali nawo?—Mateyo 20:25, 26.

◻ Kodi zolinga zake n’zotani?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

◻ Kodi panopa akuchita chilichonse kuti akwaniritse zolingazo?—1 Akorinto 9:26, 27.

◻ Kodi anthu a m’banja lake amakhala nawo bwanji?—Eksodo 20:12.

◻ Kodi anzake ndi otani?—Miyambo 13:20.

◻ Kodi amakonda kukamba nkhani zotani?—Luka 6:45.

◻ Kodi maganizo ake ndi otani pankhani ya ndalama?—Aheberi 13:5, 6.

◻ Kodi amakonda kusangalala ndi zinthu zotani?—Salmo 97:10.

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti amakonda Yehova?—1 Yohane 5:3.

Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

◻ Kodi ndi wolimbikira ntchito?—Miyambo 6:9-11.

◻ Kodi amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama?—Luka 14:28.

◻ Kodi ali ndi mbiri yabwino?—Machitidwe 16:1, 2.

◻ Kodi ndi munthu woganizira ena?—Afilipi 2:4.

Zinthu Zofunika Kusamala Nazo

◻ Kodi amapsa mtima msanga?—Miyambo 22:24.

◻ Kodi amakuumirizani kuchita zinthu zosayenera zokhudza kugonana?—Agalatiya 5:19.

◻ Kodi ndi wandewu kapenanso wolalata?—Aefeso 4:31.

◻ Kodi amaona kuti sangasangalale akapanda kumwa mowa?—Miyambo 20:1.

◻ Kodi ndi wansanje kapenanso wodzikonda?—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 40]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mkazi Wabwino?

Zinthu Zofunika Zokhudza Khalidwe Lake

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti ndi wogonjera m’banja lawo ndiponso mumpingo?—Aefeso 5:21, 22.

◻ Kodi anthu a m’banja lake amakhala nawo bwanji?—Eksodo 20:12.

◻ Kodi anzake ndi otani?—Miyambo 13:20.

◻ Kodi amakonda kulankhula za chiyani?—Luka 6:45.

◻ Kodi maganizo ake ndi otani pankhani ya ndalama?—1 Yohane 2:15-17.

◻ Kodi ali ndi zolinga zotani?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

◻ Kodi panopa akuchita chilichonse kuti akwaniritse zolingazo?—1 Akorinto 9:26, 27.

◻ Kodi amakonda kusangalala ndi zinthu zotani?—Salmo 97:10.

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti amakonda Yehova?—1 Yohane 5:3.

Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

◻ Kodi ndi wolimbikira ntchito?—Miyambo 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.

◻ Kodi amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama?—Miyambo 31:16, 18.

◻ Kodi ali ndi mbiri yabwino?—Rute 3:11.

◻ Kodi ndi munthu woganizira ena?—Miyambo 31:20.

Zinthu Zofunika Kusamala Nazo

◻ Kodi ndi wolongolola?—Miyambo 21:19.

◻ Kodi amakuumirizani kuchita zinthu zosayenera zokhudza kugonana?—Agalatiya 5:19.

◻ Kodi ndi wolalata kapenanso wandewu?—Aefeso 4:31.

◻ Kodi amaona kuti sangasangalale akapanda kumwa mowa?—Miyambo 20:1.

◻ Kodi ndi wansanje kapenanso wodzikonda?—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Sikuti mungavale saizi iliyonse ya nsapato. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi munthu womanga naye banja, sikuti aliyense ndi wokuyenererani

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Pogula galimoto sikuti mungayang’ane kukongola kwake kokha, koma mungayang’anenso mbali zina zofunika. Ndiye kuli bwanji posankha munthu womanga naye banja?

Mutu 4

Kodi Tiyenera Kusonyezana Chikondi Mpaka Pati?

Chongani kuti zoona kapena zonama:

Nthawi zonse n’kosayenera kuti anthu amene ali pachibwenzi azigwirana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

Anthu amene ali pachibwenzi akhoza kukhalabe ndi mlandu wa dama ngakhale atapewa kugonana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

Ngati anthu amene ali pachibwenzi sagwiranagwirana kapena kupsompsonana ndiye kuti sakondana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

N’ZODZIWIKIRATU kuti munaganizirapo kwambiri nkhani imeneyi. Ndipotu, ngati muli pachibwenzi zingakhale zovuta kudziwa malire pankhani yosonyezana chikondi. Tiyeni tikambirane mfundo zitatu zili pamwambazi kuti tione mmene Mawu a Mulungu angatithandizire kuyankha funso lakuti: “Kodi tiyenera kusonyezana chikondi mpaka pati?”

● Nthawi zonse n’kosayenera kuti anthu amene ali pachibwenzi azigwirana.

Zonama. Baibulo sililetsa kusonyezana chikondi m’njira yoyenera. Mwachitsanzo, Baibulo limafotokoza nkhani ya mtsikana wachisulami ndi m’busa wachinyamata amene anali pachibwenzi. Iwo anadzisunga nthawi yonse imene anali pachibwenzi. Komabe, zikuoneka kuti asanakwatirane, nthawi zina ankagwirana ndiponso kupsompsonana posonyezana chikondi. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Masiku anonso, anthu ena amene ali pachibwenzi ndipo atsimikiza kuti adzakwatirana angaone kuti n’zoyenera kusonyezana chikondi m’njira yoyenera.a

Komabe anthu amene ali pachibwenzi ayenera kusamala kwambiri. Kupsompsonana, kukumbatirana, kapena kuchita chilichonse chimene chingadzutse chilakolako chogonana kungawapangitse kuchita chiwerewere. N’zosavuta kwa anthu amene ali pachibwenzi kuti agonane, ngakhale kuti analibe cholinga chochita zimenezi.—Akolose 3:5.

● Anthu amene ali pachibwenzi akhoza kukhalabe ndi mlandu wa dama ngakhale atapewa kugonana.

Zoona. Mawu a Chigiriki choyambirira amene anamasuliridwa kuti “dama” (por·neiʹa) amatanthauza zinthu zambiri. Amatanthauza kugonana kwa mtundu wina uliwonse kwa anthu osakwatirana komanso kugwiritsa ntchito ziwalo zogonanira m’njira yolakwika. Choncho, mawu oti dama samangotanthauza kugonana kwenikweni kokha koma amatanthauzanso kuseweretsa ziwalo zogonanira za munthu wina ndiponso kugonana m’kamwa kapena kumatako.

Ndiponso Baibulo silimangoletsa dama lokha. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Ntchito za thupi zimaonekera, ndizo dama, chonyansa, khalidwe lotayirira.” Ndipo anapitiriza kuti: “Anthu amene amachita zimenezi sadzalowa mu ufumu wa Mulungu.”—Agalatiya 5:19-21.

Kodi “chonyansa” chimene chikutchulidwa palembali n’chiyani? Mawu a Chigiriki amene anamasuliridwa kuti “chonyansa” amatanthauza chodetsa chilichonse, kaya zimene timalankhula kapena kuchita. N’zoona kuti zingakhaledi zonyansa kuti munthu wina apise dzanja lake m’kati mwa chovala cha munthu wina, kum’vula, kapena kusisita mbali zobisika za thupi lake monga mabere ake. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti kusisita mabere ndi mbali yosangalatsa imene angachite anthu okwatirana basi.—Miyambo 5:18, 19.

Achinyamata ena amanyalanyaza mfundo za Mulungu mopanda manyazi. Iwo amapitirira malire mwadala, kapenanso amakhala ndi zibwenzi zambirimbiri kuti azigonana ndiponso kuchita zinthu zina zonyansa. Achinyamata amenewa angakhale ndi mlandu wochita zimene mtumwi Paulo anati ndi “khalidwe lotayirira.” Mawu a Chigiriki amene anamasuliridwa kuti “khalidwe lotayirira” amatanthauza ‘kuchita zinthu mopandiratu manyazi, mopitirira kwambiri malire, mopanda ulemu, ndiponso mosadziletsa ngakhale pang’ono.’ Kunena zoona, inuyo simungafune kukhala munthu yemwe “sangathenso kuzindikira makhalidwe abwino” chifukwa chodzipereka yekha ku “khalidwe lotayirira kuti achite zonyansa zonse mwadyera.”—Aefeso 4:17-19.

● Ngati anthu amene ali pachibwenzi sagwiranagwirana kapena kupsompsonana ndiye kuti sakondana.

Zonama. Mosiyana ndi zimene anthu ena amaganiza, kusonyezana chikondi m’njira zosayenera sikuti kumalimbitsa chibwenzi. M’malo mwake, kumachititsa anthuwo kuti asiye kulemekezana ndi kukhulupirirana. Taganizirani zimene zinachitikira Laura. Iye anati: “Tsiku lina mayi anga atachoka, mnyamata yemwe ndinali naye pachibwenzi anabwera ku nyumba kwathu ngati akudzangoonera TV. Poyamba, anangondigwira dzanja. Kenako anayamba kundigwiragwira. Ndinaopa kumuuza kuti asiye poganiza kuti angakhumudwe n’kuchoka.”

Kodi inuyo mukuganiza bwanji? Kodi mnyamatayo ankam’kondadi Laura, kapena ankafuna kungodzisangalatsa basi? Kodi munthu amene akukunyengererani kuti muchite zolakwika amakukondanidi?

Mnyamata akamakakamiza mtsikana kuchita zinthu zosemphana ndi mfundo zachikhristu ndiponso chikumbumtima chake, amakhala akuswa malamulo a Mulungu ndipo amasonyeza kuti samukondadi mtsikanayo. Ndiponso, mtsikana amadzichotsera ulemu wake akalolera zimenezi. Komanso akatero, amakhala atachita chinthu chonyansa kwambiri, mwinanso dama limene.b—1 Akorinto 6:9, 10.

Dziikireni Malire

Ngati muli pachibwenzi, kodi mungatani kuti mupewe kupitirira malire pankhani yosonyezana chikondi? Njira yanzeru ndiyo kudziikira malire mukangoyamba kumene chibwenzicho. Lemba la Miyambo 13:10 limati: “Omwe [amakambirana, NW] ali ndi nzeru.” Choncho, kambiranani ndi chibwenzi chanucho njira zoyenera zosonyezerana chikondi. Kunyalanyaza kudziikira malire mpaka mutayamba kusonyezana chikondi kwambiri kuli ngati kudikira kuti nyumba yanu iyambe kupsa ndiyeno n’kumaika alamu yochenjeza za moto.

N’zoona kuti kukambirana nkhani ngati imeneyi kungakhale kovuta ngakhalenso kochititsa manyazi makamaka chibwenzi chikangoyamba kumene. Koma kudziikira malire kungakuthandizeni kwambiri kuti mupewe mavuto amene angadzayambe m’tsogolo. Malire abwino angakhale ngati alamu yochenjeza za moto imene imalira moto utangoyamba kumene. Ndiponso, mukamakambirana bwino nkhani imeneyi ndiye kuti chibwenzi chanucho chingayende bwino. Ndipotu, kukhala wodziletsa, woleza mtima ndiponso wosadzikonda n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mudzasangalale ndi mphatso ya kugonana mukadzakwatirana.—1 Akorinto 7:3, 4.

N’zoona kuti kutsatira mfundo za Mulungu kumafuna khama. Koma dalirani malangizo a Yehova. Ndipo palemba la Yesaya 48:17, Yehova anadzilongosola kuti ndi ‘amene amatiphunzitsa kupindula, amene amatitsogolera m’njira yoyenera ife kupitamo.’ Ndipotu iye amakufunirani zabwino nthawi zonse.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 24

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Chikondi . . . sichichita zosayenera.”—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Ngati muli pachibwenzi, muyenera kukambirana zinthu zina zokhudza nkhani ya kugonana. Komabe, n’kulakwa kukambirana nkhaniyi n’cholinga choti mudzutse chilakolako chogonana, ngakhale mutagwiritsa ntchito foni.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Muzicheza pagulu ndi chibwenzi chanu kapena muzionetsetsa kuti muli ndi munthu wina wokuperekezani. Pewani kukhala awiriwiri m’malo monga m’galimoto yoimikidwa kapena m’nyumba.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndingapewe kukodwa mu msampha wochita zosayenera mwa kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Ngati chibwenzi changa chitandikakamiza kuchita zosayenera, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi mungadziikire malire otani pankhani yogwirana ndi munthu yemwe si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu?

● Kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa dama, chonyansa, ndi khalidwe lotayirira?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 46]

“Ine ndi chibwenzi changa tinkawerengera limodzi m’mabuku ofotokoza za Baibulo nkhani zotithandiza kuti tikhale odziletsa pachibwenzi chathu. Tikuyamikira kuti nkhanizo zinatithandiza kukhalabe ndi chikumbumtima choyera.”—Anatero Leticia

[Chithunzi patsamba 44]

Kodi Tingatani Ngati Tapitirira Malire?

Nanga bwanji ngati mwachita zosayenera? Musadzinamize kuti vutolo mungalithetse nokha. Mtsikana wina anati: “Ndinkapemphera kuti, ‘Tithandizeni kuti tisadzachitenso zimenezi.’ Nthawi zina tinkasiyadi kuchita zosayenerazo, koma nthawi zina sizinkatheka.” Choncho, uzani makolo anu. Baibulo limaperekanso malangizo abwino awa: ‘Itanani akulu a mpingo.’ (Yakobe 5:14) Abusa achikhristu amenewa angapereke malangizo, uphungu ndi chidzudzulo, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukonze ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu.

[Chithunzi patsamba 47]

Kodi mungadikire kuti nyumba yanu iyambe kupsa ndi moto ndiyeno n’kuika alamu? Choncho, musadikire kuti chilakolako chanu cha kugonana chikule kwambiri ndiyeno n’kumadziikira malire

Mutu 5

N’chifukwa Chiyani Sindiyenera Kugonana ndi Aliyense Mpaka N’talowa M’banja?

“Ndimafuna n’tagonana ndi mwamuna kuti ndidziwe mmene zimakhalira.”—Anatero Kelly.

“Ndimadzikayikira chifukwa sindinagonanepo ndi mtsikana mpaka pano.”—Anatero Jordon.

“KODI sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Funso limeneli lingakuchititseni mantha. M’madera ambiri wachinyamata amene sanagonanepo ndi aliyense amaonedwa ngati wotsalira ndiponso wopepera. N’chifukwa chake achinyamata ambiri amakhala atagonapo ndi munthu wina asanafike zaka 20.

Kukopeka ndi Chilakolako Chawo Komanso Kulimbikitsidwa ndi Anzawo

Ngati ndinu Mkhristu, mukudziwa kuti Baibulo limakuuzani kuti ‘mupewe dama.’ (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Komabe, mungaone kuti kudziletsa n’kovuta. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Paul, anati: “Nthawi zina ndimangoyamba kuganiza za kugonana popanda chifukwa chenicheni.” Koma dziwani kuti n’kwachibadwa kumva choncho nthawi zambiri.

Komabe, zimachititsa manyazi kwambiri kuti anthu azikuseka nthawi zonse kuti sunagonanepo ndi munthu. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mungamve bwanji anzanu atakuuzani kuti sindinu mwamuna kapena mkazi weniweni chifukwa simunagonanepo ndi munthu? Ellen anati: “Anzako amakuchititsa kuganiza kuti kugonana n’kosangalatsa ndiponso koyenera.” Iye anapitiriza kuti: “Anthu amakukayikira ngati sunagonanepo ndi aliyense.”

Koma pankhani yokhudza kugonana musanalowe m’banja, pali mfundo inayake imene anzanuwo sanganene. Mwachitsanzo, Maria, amene anagonapo ndi chibwenzi chake, anati: “Pambuyo pogonana naye, ndinachita manyazi kwambiri. Ndinakhumudwa kwambiri ndi zomwe tinachitazo.” Zinthu zoterezi zimachitika kawirikawiri ngakhale kuti achinyamata ambiri sazindikira zimenezi. Kunena zoona, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumasokoneza maganizo kwambiri ndipo zotsatira zake n’zoopsa.

Komabe, mtsikana wina dzina lake Shanda anafunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu amapatsa achinyamata chilakolako chogonana, koma akudziwiratu kuti safunika kugonana mpaka atalowa m’banja?” Limeneli ndi funso labwino kwambiri. Koma taganizirani izi:

Kodi chilakolako champhamvu chomwe inuyo mumakhala nacho ndi chogonana basi? Ayi. Yehova Mulungu anakulengani m’njira yoti muzitha kulakalaka ndi kuganizira zinthu zosiyanasiyana.

Kodi mumachita panthawi yomweyo chinthu chilichonse chimene thupi lanu lafuna? Ayi, chifukwa chakuti Mulungu anakulengani m’njira yoti muzitha kudziletsa.

Motero, kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani? Mwina simungathe kuletsa thupi lanu kulakalaka zinthu zina, koma mungathe kudziletsa kuti musachite zinthu zomwe mukulakalakazo. Choncho, kugonana ndi munthu mukangokhala ndi chilakolako chogonana n’kulakwa ndiponso n’kupanda nzeru chifukwa zili ngati kumenya munthu nthawi iliyonse pamene mwakwiya.

Mfundo ndi yakuti, Mulungu safuna kuti tizigwiritsa ntchito molakwika chilakolako chogonana. Baibulo limati: “Aliyense wa inu akhale woyera mwa kudziwa kusunga thupi lake m’chiyero ndi ulemu.” (1 Atesalonika 4:4) Monga mmene palili “mphindi yakukonda ndi mphindi yakudana,” palinso nthawi yomvera chilakolako chanu cha kugonana ndiponso nthawi yodziletsa. (Mlaliki 3:1-8) Kwenikweni, inuyo muli ndi udindo wonse pa zilakolako za thupi lanu.

Koma kodi mungatani munthu wina atakusekani, n’kukufunsani modabwa kuti, “Kutereku sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Zikatero musachite mantha. Munthu amene akungofuna kukunyozani mungamuuze kuti: “Inde, ndipo ndimasangalala kwambiri kuti sindinagonepo ndi munthu aliyense.” Kapena mungamuuze kuti, “Zimenezo sizikukukhudza ndipo sindikambirana ndi aliyense nkhani imeneyi.”a (Miyambo 26:4; Akolose 4:6) Komabe, mwina mungaone kuti m’pofunika kumuuza zambiri munthu amene akukufunsaniyo. Ngati ndi choncho, mungathe kum’fotokozera mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene mumatsatira pankhaniyi.

Kodi mukuganizira njira zinanso zimene mungayankhire munthu amene wakufunsani monyoza kuti, “Kutereku sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Ngati ndi choncho, lembani njira zimenezo m’munsimu.

․․․․․

Mphatso Yamtengo Wapatali

Kodi Mulungu amamva bwanji anthu akagonana asanalowe m’banja? Tayerekezerani kuti mwagula mphatso yoti mupatse mnzanu. Koma musanam’patse mphatsoyo, mnzanuyo akuitsegula, n’cholinga chongofuna kuona kuti ndi yotani. Kodi mungasangalale nazo? Ndiyeno taganizirani mmene Mulungu angamvere ngati mutagonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja? Iye amafuna kuti mudikire mpaka mudzalowe m’banja kuti mudzasangalale ndi mphatso ya kugonana.—Genesis 1:28.

Kodi muyenera kutani mukakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana? Mwachidule, tinganene kuti muyenera kudziletsa ndipo mukhoza kuchitadi zimenezi. Pempherani kwa Yehova kuti akuthandizeni. Iye angakupatseni mzimu wake kuti ukuthandizeni kudziletsa. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Musaiwale kuti Yehova “sadzakaniza chokoma iwo akuyenda angwiro.” (Salmo 84:11) Wachinyamata wina dzina lake Gordon anati: “Ndikayamba kuganiza kuti palibe cholakwika kugonana ndisanalowe m’banja ndimaganizira kaye mavuto amene angabwere pamoyo wanga wauzimu. Ndiyeno ndimaona kuti ngakhale tchimo litakhala losangalatsa chotani siliyenera kusokoneza ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova.”

Mfundo ndi yakuti palibe chodabwitsa kukhala wosagonana ndi munthu mpaka mutalowa m’banja. Kuchita zachiwerewere n’koopsa ndiponso kumamuchotsera munthu ulemu. Choncho, musalole kuti maganizo a dzikoli akuchititseni kuganiza kuti inuyo muli ndi vuto chifukwa chotsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. Mukapewa kugonana ndi munthu mpaka mutalowa m’banja, mudzakhala ndi thanzi labwino, simudzavutika ndi maganizo, ndipo koposa zonse, mudzakhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi Mulungu.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 24

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Ngati wina . . . wasankha mu mtima mwake kukhalabe [wosagonana ndi munthu], achita bwino.”—1 Akorinto 7:37.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Pewani kucheza ndi anthu amakhalidwe oipa ngakhale atamanena kuti muli nawo chipembedzo chimodzi.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kawirikawiri anthu achiwerewere sasintha khalidwe lawo ngakhale atalowa m’banja. Koma anthu amene amatsatira mfundo za Mulungu zamakhalidwe abwino asanalowe m’banja, amakhalanso okhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Kuti ndisagone ndi munthu aliyense mpaka nditalowa m’banja, ndiyenera kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Anzanga akamandivutitsa kuti ndigonane ndi munthu, ndizichita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani ena amaseka anthu amene sanagonanepo ndi munthu aliyense?

● N’chifukwa chiyani kukhalabe osagonana ndi munthu n’kovuta?

● Kodi ubwino wosagonana ndi munthu aliyense mpaka mutalowa m’banja ndi wotani?

● Kodi mng’ono wanu mungamufotokozere motani ubwino wosagonana ndi munthu mpaka atalowa m’banja?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 51]

“Kukumbukira nthawi zonse kuti ‘wadama kapena wopanda chiyero sadzalowa konse mu ufumu wa Mulungu,’ kumandilimbikitsa kupewa chiwerewere.”(Aefeso 5:5)—Anatero Lydia

[Chithunzi patsamba 49]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Zotsatirapo Zake Zimakhala Zotani Kwenikweni?

Anzanu komanso zosangalatsa zotchuka sizitchula mavuto amene angabwere chifukwa cha kugonana musanalowe m’banja. Taonani zochitika zitatu zotsatirazi. Kodi mukuganiza kuti achinyamatawa chingawachitikire n’chiyani kwenikweni?

● Mnyamata wina kusukulu akudzitama kuti wagonapo ndi atsikana ambirimbiri. Iye akuti n’zosangalatsa ndipo palibe vuto lililonse. Koma kodi n’chiyani kwenikweni chingachitikire mnyamatayu ndiponso atsikanawo? ․․․․․

● Filimu ina ikutha ndi achinyamata awiri osakwatirana akugonana ngati njira yosonyezerana chikondi. Ngati anthu atachitadi zimenezi, kodi zotsatirapo zake zingakhale zotani? ․․․․․

● Mwakumana ndi mnyamata winawake wokongola kwambiri ndipo akukupemphani kuti mugone naye. Iye akuti palibe aliyense amene angadziwe zimenezi. Ngati mutalola kugona naye n’kubisa zomwe mwachitazo, kodi zotsatirapo zake zingakhale zotani kwenikweni? ․․․․․

[Chithunzi patsamba 54]

Kugonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja, kuli ngati kutsegula mphatso musanapatsidwe