1. Kodi nchifukwa ninji mabanja olimba ali ofunika m’chitaganya cha anthu?

BANJA ndilo chigwirizano chakale kuposa zonse padziko lapansi, ndipo limachita mbali yofunika kwambiri m’chitaganya cha anthu. M’mbiri yonse yakale, mabanja olimba achititsa kukhala ndi zitaganya zolimba za anthu. Banja ndilo kakonzedwe kabwino koposa kolereramo ana kuti akule ndi kukhala achikulire anzeru.

2-5. (a) Longosolani chisungiko chimene mwana amamva kukhala nacho m’banja lachimwemwe. (b) Kodi ndi mavuto otani omwe amamveka m’mabanja ena?

² Banja lachimwemwe ndilo malo othaŵirako achisungiko ndi achitetezo. Kwa kamphindi, tayerekezerani za banja labwino. Pachakudya chawo chamadzulo, makolo osamalawo akhala pansi ndi ana awo akumakambitsirana zochitika za tsikulo. Anawo akulankhula mokondwa pamene akusimbira atate ndi amayi awo zimene zachitika kusukulu. Nthaŵi yakupumula imeneyi ikutsitsimula onse ndi kuwakonzekeretsa tsiku lotsatira pamene adzakhala kunja.

³ M’banja lachimwemwe, mwana amadziŵa kuti atate ndi amayi ake adzamsamalira akadwala, mwinamwake kulandizana pomyang’anira usiku ali m’kama wodwalira. Amadziŵa kuti akhoza kupita kwa amayi kapena atate wake ndi mavuto apaubwana wake ndi kupeza uphungu ndi chichirikizo. Inde, mwana amamva kukhala wosungika, mosasamala kanthu za mavuto ochuluka amene ali kunjako m’dziko.

⁴ Pamene ana akula, kaŵirikaŵiri amakwatira ndi kukhala ndi banja lawo. Mwambi wina wa Kummaŵa umati: “Munthu amazindikira kuchuluka kwa mangaŵa ake kwa makolo ake atakhala ndi mwana wakewake.” Pokhala ndi chiyamikiro ndi chikondi chachikulu, ana amene tsopano ali achikulire amayesa kuchititsa mabanja awo kukhala achimwemwe, ndipo amasamaliranso makolo awo amene tsopano akukalamba, amenenso amasangalala kukhala pamodzi ndi adzukulu awo.

⁵ Mwinamwake tsopano mukulingalira kuti: ‘Inde, ndimakonda banja langa, koma silofanana ndi limene lalongosoledwalo. Ine ndi mnzanga timagwira ntchito zosiyana ndipo sitimaonana kaŵirikaŵiri. Nthaŵi zambiri, timangokambitsirana za mavuto azandalama.’ Kapena kodi mukunena kuti, ‘Ana anga ndi adzukulu anga amakhala kutauni ina, ndipo sindimatha kukawaona’? Inde, kaamba ka zifukwa zina zimene sangachitepo kanthu, moyo wa mabanja ambiri sumakhala wabwino kwenikweni. Chikhalirechobe, ena amakhalabe ndi moyo wa banja wachimwemwe. Motani? Kodi pali chinsinsi cha chimwemwe cha banja? Yankho nlakuti chilipo. Koma tisanakambitsirane zimenezo, tiyenera kuyankha funso lofunika kwambiri.

KODI BANJA NCHIYANI?

6. Kodi ndi mabanja a mtundu wotani amene tidzakambitsirana m’buku lino?

⁶ Kumaiko a Azungu, mabanja ochuluka amakhala a tate, mayi, ndi ana awo. Agogo angamakhale paokha ngati angakhoze. Ngakhale kuti pamakhala kuonana ndi ena achibale chapatali, sipamakhala mathayo kwenikweni kulinga kwa ameneŵa. Kwakukulukulu, banja limeneli n’limene tidzakambitsirana m’buku lino. Komabe, pazaka zaposachedwapa mitundu inanso ya banja yakhala yofala—banja la kholo limodzi, banja lopeza, ndi banja limene makolo sakukhala pamodzi pazifukwa zina.

7. Kodi banja lapachibale nlotani?

⁷ M’zitaganya zina, banja lapachibale lakhala lofala. M’banja lotero, ngati kuli kotheka agogo amayang’aniridwa nthaŵi zonse ndi ana awo, ndipo mayanjano oyandikana ndi chisamaliro zimaperekedwa kwa achibale ena. Mwachitsanzo, apabanja angathandize kusamalira, kulera, ndipo ngakhale kupereka kusukulu ana a abale kapena a alongo awo, ngakhalenso ena achibale chapatali. Mapulinsipulo amene tidzakambitsirana m’buku lino akugwiranso ntchito pa mabanja apachibale.

BANJA LILI PAVUTO

8, 9. Kodi ndi maumboni otani m’maiko ena amene amasonyeza kuti banja likusintha?

⁸ Lerolino banja likusintha—nzachisoni kunena kuti, kusinthako sikowongolera zinthu. Chitsanzo chake chikuoneka ku India, kumene mkazi angamakhale pamodzi ndi banja la mwamuna wake ndi kugwira ntchito panyumbapo moyang’aniridwa ndi apongozi ake. Komabe, masiku ano sikwachilendo kuona akazi achiindiya akukaloŵa ntchito kwina. Ngakhale ndi choncho, iwo amafunikabe kuchita ntchito zawo zapanyumba malinga ndi mwambo. Funso limene lafunsidwa m’maiko ambiri nlakuti, Kodi mkazi wogwira ntchito kunja ayenera kuchita ntchito zapanyumba pamlingo wotani poyerekezera ndi ena apabanjapo?

⁹ Kumaiko a Kummaŵa, maunansi olimba a banja lapachibale ali mwambo. Komabe, posonkhezeredwa ndi mkhalidwe wa Kumadzulo wa dziŵa zako ndi kusamala kwambiri za mavuto azachuma, banja lamwambo lapachibale likufooka. Chotero, ambiri amaona kusamalira achibale okalamba kukhala mtolo m’malo mwa thayo kapena mwaŵi. Makolo ena okalamba amachitiridwa nkhanza. Ndithudi, nkhanza ndi kunyanyala okalamba kumachitika m’maiko ambiri lerolino.

10, 11. Kodi ndi malipoti otani osonyeza kuti banja likusintha m’maiko a ku Ulaya?

¹⁰ Kusudzulana kwakhala kofala kwambiri. Mu Spain chiŵerengero cha zisudzulo chinakwera kufika ku 1 pa maukwati 8 pofika kuchiyambi kwa ma 1990—kukwera kwakukulu kochokera pa 1 pa maukwati 100 zaka 25 zokha zinapitapo. Britain, amene akunenedwa kukhala ndi chiŵerengero chachikulu cha zisudzulo kuposa onse mu Ulaya (4 pa maukwati 10 akuoneka kuti adzatha), waona kukwera kwadzidzidzi kwa chiŵerengero cha mabanja a kholo limodzi.

¹¹ Anthu ambiri m’Germany akuoneka kuti akusiyiratu mkhalidwe wa banja lamwambo. M’ma 1990 munali 35 peresenti ya mabanja achijeremani a kholo limodzi ndi 31 peresenti a anthu aŵiri okha. Afalansa ambiri nawonso samakwatira, ndipo amene amatero kaŵirikaŵiri amasudzulana ndipo amatero mofulumira kuposa kale. Owonjezereka amakonda kungokhala pamodzi popanda ukwati. Mikhalidwe yotere ikuoneka padziko lonse.

12. Kodi ana amavutika motani chifukwa cha kusintha kwa banja lamakono?

¹² Bwanji ponena za ana? Ku United States ndi kumaiko ena ochuluka, kumabadwa ana ambiri apathengo, ena amabadwa kwa atsikana aang’ono. Atsikana ambiri ali ndi ana angapo a atate osiyanasiyana. Malipoti ochokera padziko lonse amasimba za mamiliyoni a ana opanda kokhala omayendayenda m’makwalala; ambiri amathaŵa nkhanza kunyumba kapena amakanidwa ndi mabanja osakhozanso kuwasamalira.

13. Kodi ndi mavuto ofala ati amene akusoŵetsa chimwemwe m’mabanja?

¹³ Inde, banja lili pavuto. Kuwonjezera pa zimene tatchulazo, kupanduka kwa achichepere, kugona ana, kumenyana kwa m’nyumba, uchidakwa, ndi mavuto ena othetsa nzeru akusoŵetsa chimwemwe m’mabanja ambiri. Kwa ana ndi achikulire ambiri, banja silili konse malo othaŵirako.

14. (a) Malinga ndi kunena kwa ena, kodi chochititsa mavuto m’banja nchiyani? (b) Kodi loya wa m’zaka za zana loyamba analilongosola motani dziko lamakono, ndipo kukwaniritsidwa kwa mawu ake kwakhala ndi chiyambukiro chotani pamoyo wa m’banja?

¹⁴ Kodi nchifukwa ninji banja lili pavuto? Ena amati chochititsa vutoli ndicho kuyamba kuloŵa ntchito kwa akazi. Ena amati chochititsa ndicho kutayika kwa makhalidwe abwino kwamakono. Ndiponso pamatchulidwanso zochititsa zina. Pafupifupi zaka zikwi ziŵiri zapitazo, loya wodziŵika kwambiri ananeneratu kuti mavuto ambiri adzakantha banja, pamene analemba kuti: “Masiku otsiriza zidzafika nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa. Pakuti anthu adzakhala odzikonda okha, okonda ndalama, odzitamandira, odzikuza, amwano, osamvera akuwabala, osayamika, osayera mtima, opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe, osayanjanitsika, akudyerekeza, osakhoza kudziletsa, aukali, osakonda abwino, achiŵembu, aliuma olimbirira, otukumuka mtima, okonda zokondweretsa munthu, osati okonda Mulungu.” (2 Timoteo 3:1-4) Ndani kodi amene angakayikire kuti mawuŵa akukwaniritsidwa lerolino? M’dziko la mikhalidwe yonga imeneyi, kodi nkodabwitsa kuti mabanja ambiri ali pavuto?

CHINSINSI CHA CHIMWEMWE CHA BANJA

15-17. Kodi buku lino lidzasonyeza kuti chinsinsi cha chimwemwe cha banja chingapezeke kuti?

¹⁵ Uphungu wa mmene anthu angapezere chimwemwe m’banja umaperekedwa kuchokera kulikonse. Kumaiko a Azungu, mabuku ndi magazini ambiri ophunzitsa mmene munthu angadzithandizire payekha amatulutsidwa mosalekeza. Vuto nlakuti aphungu aumunthu amanena zotsutsana ndi anzawo, ndipo umene ungakhale uphungu wabwino lero maŵa ungaonedwe kukhala wosagwira ntchito.

¹⁶ Pamenepo, kodi nkuti kumene tingapezeko chitsogozo cha banja chodalirika? Chabwino, kodi mungatembenukire ku buku lolembedwa pafupifupi zaka 1,900 zapitazo? Kapena kodi mungaganize kuti buku lotero liyenera kukhala lachikale losagwiranso ntchito mpang’ono pomwe? Choonadi nchakuti, chinsinsi chenicheni cha chimwemwe cha banja chimapezeka m’buku limenelo.

¹⁷ Buku limenelo ndilo Baibulo. Malinga ndi maumboni onse, ilo linauziridwa ndi Mulungu mwiniyo. M’Baibulo timapeza mawu aŵa: “Lemba lili lonse adaliuzira Mulungu, ndipo lipindulitsa pa chiphunzitso, chitsutsano, chikonzero, chilangizo cha m’chilungamo.” (2 Timoteo 3:16) M’buku lino tidzakulimbikitsani kuona mmene Baibulo lingakuthandizireni ‘kukonza’ zinthu pamene muchita ndi zipsinjo ndi mavuto a m’banja lerolino.

18. Kodi nchifukwa ninji kuli kwanzeru kuvomereza Baibulo monga maziko a uphungu wa ukwati?

¹⁸ Ngati mukuona kukhala kosatheka kuti Baibulo lingathandize banja kukhala lachimwemwe, talingalirani izi: Amene anauzira kulembedwa kwa Baibulo alinso Woyambitsa kakonzedwe ka ukwati. (Genesis 2:18-25) Baibulo limati dzina lake ndi Yehova. (Salmo 83:18) Iye ali Mlengi ndi ‘Atate, amene kuchokera kwa iye [banja lililonse, NW] alitcha dzina.’ (Aefeso 3:14, 15) Yehova waona mmene moyo wa banja wakhalira kuchokera pachiyambi cha anthu. Amadziŵa mavuto amene angabuke ndipo wapereka uphungu wowathetsera. M’mbiri yonse yakale, awo amene moona mtima anagwiritsira ntchito mapulinsipulo a Baibulo m’banja lawo anapeza chimwemwe chachikulu.

19-21. Kodi ndi zochitika zamakono ziti zosonyeza kuti Baibulo likhoza kuthetsa mavuto a muukwati?

¹⁹ Mwachitsanzo, mkazi wina wapanyumba ku Indonesia anali wotchova juga womwerekera. Kwa zaka zambiri ananyanyala ana ake atatu ndipo anali kukangana nthaŵi zonse ndi mwamuna wake. Ndiyeno anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi mkaziyo anakhulupirira zimene Baibulo limanena. Pamene anagwiritsira ntchito uphungu wake, anakhala mkazi wabwino. Zoyesayesa zake, zozikidwa pa mapulinsipulo a Baibulo, zinabweretsa chimwemwe pabanja lake lonse.

²⁰ Mkazi wina wapanyumba ku Spain anati: “Tinangokhala chaka chimodzi titakwatirana ndipo tinayamba kukhala ndi mavuto aakulu.” Iye ndi mwamuna wake anali osiyana pazinthu zambiri, ndipo sanali kukambitsirana kwambiri koma pokangana. Ngakhale kuti anali ndi mwana wamng’ono wamkazi, iwo anafuna kukapatukana kukhoti. Komabe zimenezo zisanachitike, analimbikitsidwa kuona m’Baibulo. Anaŵerenga uphungu wake wonena za amuna ndi akazi okwatirana ndi kuyamba kuugwiritsira ntchito. Posapita nthaŵi, anayamba kulankhulana mwaubwino ndipo banja lawo laling’onolo linakhalanso logwirizana mwachimwemwe.

²¹ Baibulo limathandizanso anthu achikulire. Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za chochitika cha okwatirana aŵiri achijapani. Mwamuna anali wa mtima wapachala ndipo nthaŵi zina wachiwawa. Choyamba, ana awo aakazi anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo, ngakhale kuti makolo awo anatsutsa zimenezo. Ndiyeno, mwamunayo anagwirizana ndi anawo, koma mkazi anapitiriza kutsutsa. Koma m’kupita kwa zaka anaona kuti mapulinsipulo a Baibulo anapangitsa masinthidwe abwino pabanja lake. Ana ake aakaziwo anamusamalira bwino, ndipo mwamuna wakeyo anakhala wofatsa. Masinthidwe otero anasonkhezera mkaziyo kudzionera yekha zimene zili m’Baibulo, ndipo nayenso zinamuthandiza kupanga masinthidwe abwino. Mkazi wachikulireyo ananena mobwerezabwereza kuti: “Tinakhala okwatirana enieni.”

22, 23. Kodi Baibulo limathandiza motani anthu a mitundu yonse kupeza chimwemwe cha moyo wawo wa banja?

²² Ameneŵa ali pakati pa anthu ambirimbiri omwe aphunzira chinsinsi cha chimwemwe cha banja. Alandira uphungu wa Baibulo ndi kuugwiritsira ntchito. Zoona, iwo akukhala m’dziko limodzimodzi lachiwawa, chisembwere, ndi mavuto azachuma mofanana ndi wina aliyense. Ndiponso, iwo ali opanda ungwiro, koma amapeza chimwemwe poyesa kuchita chifuniro cha Woyambitsa kakonzedwe ka banja. Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera, Yehova Mulungu ndiye ‘Amene akuphunzitsani kupindula, Amene akutsogolerani m’njira yoyenera inu kupitamo.’—Yesaya 48:17.

²³ Ngakhale kuti Baibulo linamalizidwa pafupifupi zaka zikwi ziŵiri zapitazo, uphungu wake ulidi wapanthaŵi yake. Ndiponso, unalembedwera anthu onse. Baibulo si buku la Aamereka kapena Azungu. Yehova, “ndi mmodzi analenga mitundu yonse ya anthu,” ndipo iye amadziŵa kapangidwe ka anthu kulikonse. (Machitidwe 17:26) Mapulinsipulo a Baibulo amagwira ntchito kwa aliyense. Ngati muwagwiritsira ntchito, inunso mudzadziŵa chinsinsi cha chimwemwe cha banja.

1, 2. (a) Kodi cholinga chinali chakuti ukwati ukhale kwa utali wotani? (b) Kodi zimenezi nzotheka motani?

PAMENE Mulungu anagwirizanitsa mwamuna ndi mkazi woyamba muukwati, panalibe chilichonse chosonyeza kuti mgwirizanowo udzakhala wakanthaŵi chabe. Adamu ndi Hava anayenera kukhala pamodzi kwa moyo wonse. (Genesis 2:24) Muyezo wa Mulungu wa ukwati wolemekezeka ndiwo kugwirizana pamodzi kwa mwamuna mmodzi ndi mkazi mmodzi. Chisembwere chokha chochitidwa ndi mmodzi wa okwatiranawo kapena onse aŵiri ndicho chimapereka maziko a Malemba a chisudzulo ndi chilolezo cha kukwatiranso.—Mateyu 5:32.

² Kodi nzotheka kuti anthu aŵiri akhale pamodzi mwachimwemwe kwa moyo wonse? Inde, ndipo Baibulo limasonyeza zinthu zofunika kwambiri ziŵiri, kapena makiyi, amene amathandiza kutheketsa zimenezi. Ngati onse aŵiri mwamuna ndi mkazi agwiritsira ntchito makiyi ameneŵa, adzakhoza kutsegula khomo loloŵera ku chimwemwe ndi madalitso ambiri. Kodi makiyi ameneŵa nchiyani?

KIYI YOYAMBA

3. Kodi ndi mitundu ya chikondi itatu iti imene okwatirana ayenera kukhala nayo?

³ Kiyi yoyamba ndiyo chikondi. Komabe, pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi m’Baibulo. Umodzi ndiwo chikondi chachibwenzi kwa munthu wina, mtundu wa chikondi chimene chimakhala pakati pa mabwenzi apamtima. (Yohane 11:3) Mtundu wina ndiwo chikondi chimene chimakhala pakati pa apabanja. (Aroma 12:10, NW) Wachitatu ndiwo kukondana kokopeka mtima pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. (Miyambo 5:15-20) Ndithudi, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kukulitsa mitundu yonseyi ya chikondi. Koma pali mtundu wachinayi wa chikondi, wofunika kwambiri kuposa inayo.

4. Kodi mtundu wachinayi wa chikondi ndi wotani?

⁴ M’chinenero choyambirira cha Malemba Achigiriki Achikristu, liwu la mtundu wachinayi umenewu wa chikondi ndilo a·gaʹpe. Liwuli lagwiritsidwanso ntchito pa 1 Yohane 4:8, pamene timauzidwa kuti: “Mulungu ndiye chikondi.” Zoona, “tikonda ife, chifukwa anayamba [Mulungu] kutikonda.” (1 Yohane 4:19) Mkristu amakhala ndi chikondi choterocho choyamba kwa Yehova Mulungu ndiyeno kwa anthu anzake. (Marko 12:29-31) Liwu lakuti a·gaʹpe limagwiritsidwanso ntchito pa Aefeso 5:2, pamene pamati: “Yendani m’chikondi monganso Kristu anakukondani inu, nadzipereka yekha m’malo mwathu.” Yesu anati chikondi cha mtundu umenewu chidzazindikiritsa otsatira ake oona: “Mwa ichi adzazindikira onse kuti muli akuphunzira anga, ngati muli nacho chikondano [a·gaʹpe] wina ndi mnzake.” (Yohane 13:35) Onaninso mmene a·gaʹpe yagwiritsidwira ntchito pa 1 Akorinto 13:13 kuti: “Zitsala chikhulupiriro, chiyembekezo, chikondi, zitatu izi; koma chachikulu cha izi ndicho chikondi [a·gaʹpe].”

5, 6. (a) Kodi nchifukwa ninji chikondi chili chachikulu kuposa chikhulupiriro ndi chiyembekezo? (b) Kodi pali zifukwa zina ziti zosonyeza kuti chikondi chimathandiza ukwati kukhalitsa?

⁵ Kodi nchiyani chimachititsa chikondi cha a·gaʹpe kukhala chachikulu kuposa chikhulupiriro ndi chiyembekezo? Chifukwa chakuti chimazikidwa pa mapulinsipulo—mapulinsipulo olungama—aja opezeka m’Mawu a Mulungu. (Salmo 119:105) Imeneyo ndiyo nkhaŵa yopanda dyera yofuna kuchitira ena zoyenera ndi zabwino pamaso pa Mulungu, kaya wochitiridwayo akuoneka kukhala woyenera zimenezo kapena ayi. Chikondi chotero chimakhozetsa okwatirana kutsatira uphungu wa Baibulo wakuti: “[Pitirizani, NW] kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake; monganso Ambuye anakhululukira inu, teroni inunso.” (Akolose 3:13) Okwatirana okondana ali ndi ‘chikondano chenicheni [a·gaʹpe] mwa iwo okha,’ ndipo amachikulitsa ‘pakuti chikondano chikwirira unyinji wa machimo.’ (1 Petro 4:8) Onani kuti chikondi chimakwirira zolakwa. Sichimazichotsa, pakuti palibe munthu wopanda ungwiro amene angakhale wosalakwa.—Salmo 130:3, 4; Yakobo 3:2.

⁶ Pamene chikondi chotero kwa Mulungu ndi kwa wina ndi mnzake chikulitsidwa pakati pa okwatirana, ukwati wawo umakhalitsa ndipo umakhala wachimwemwe, pakuti “chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:8) Chikondi ndicho “chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.” (Akolose 3:14) Ngati muli wokwatira, kodi inu ndi mnzanu mungakulitse motani mtundu wa chikondi chimenechi? Ŵerengani pamodzi Mawu a Mulungu, ndipo kambitsiranani za iwo. Phunzirani za chitsanzo cha Yesu cha chikondi ndipo yesani kumtsanzira iye, kulingalira ndi kuchita zinthu mofanana naye. Ndiponso, pezekani pamisonkhano yachikristu, kumene Mawu a Mulungu amaphunzitsidwa. Ndipo pemphererani chithandizo cha Mulungu kuti mukulitse mtundu wokwezeka wa chikondi chimenechi, chimene chili chipatso cha mzimu woyera wa Mulungu.—Miyambo 3:5, 6; Yohane 17:3; Agalatiya 5:22; Ahebri 10:24, 25.

KIYI YACHIŴIRI

7. Kodi ulemu nchiyani, ndipo ndani ayenera kusonyeza ulemu muukwati?

⁷ Ngati anthu aŵiri okwatirana amakondana kwenikweni, pamenepo adzakhalanso ndi ulemu kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndipo ulemu ndiwo kiyi yachiŵiri muukwati wachimwemwe. Ulemu wamasuliridwa kukhala “kuŵerengera ena, kuwalemekeza.” Mawu a Mulungu amalangiza Akristu onse, kuphatikizapo amuna ndi akazi kuti: “Mutsogolerane ndi kuchitira wina mnzake ulemu.” (Aroma 12:10) Mtumwi Petro analemba kuti: “Amuna inu, khalani nawo [akazi anu] monga mwa chidziŵitso, ndi kuchitira mkazi ulemu, monga chotengera chochepa mphamvu.” (1 Petro 3:7) Mkazi akulangizidwa ‘kukhala ndi ulemu waukulu kwa mwamuna wake.’ (Aefeso 5:33, NW) Ngati mukufuna kulemekeza munthu, mumakhala wokoma mtima kwa munthuyo, mumalemekeza malo ake ndi malingaliro ake, ndi kukhala wokonzeka kuchita zilizonse zabwino zimene akupemphani kuchita.

8-10. Kodi ndi njira zina zotani zimene zingathandize kuchititsa ukwati kukhala wokhazikika ndi wachimwemwe?

⁸ Awo ofuna kukhala ndi ukwati wabwino amasonyeza ulemu kwa anzawo a muukwati mwa ‘kusapenyerera zawo za iwo okha, koma kupenyereranso za anzawo [a muukwati].’ (Afilipi 2:4) Iwo samangolingalira zabwino za iwo okha—limene lili dyera. M’malo mwake, amalingaliranso zabwino za anzawo a muukwati. Ndithudi, amaika patsogolo zabwino za mnzawo.

⁹ Ulemu udzathandiza okwatirana kuzindikira kuti pamakhala kusiyana malingaliro. Sikwanzeru kuyembekezera kuti anthu aŵiri angakhale ndi malingaliro ofanana pa chinthu chilichonse. Chimene chingakhale chofunika kwa mwamuna chingakhale chosafunika kwenikweni kwa mkazi, ndipo chimene mkazi amakonda chingakhale chisali chimene mwamuna amakonda. Koma aliyense ayenera kulemekeza malingaliro ndi zosankha za mnzake, malinga ngati sizimapyola malire a malamulo ndi mapulinsipulo a Yehova. (1 Petro 2:16; yerekezerani ndi Filemoni 14.) Ndiponso, aliyense ayenera kulemekeza malo a mnzake mwa kusamunenera mawu onyoza kapena njerengo zomunyazitsa, kaya pakati pa anthu kapena mseri.

¹⁰ Inde, chikondi kwa Mulungu ndi kwa wina ndi mnzake ndi kulemekezana ndiko makiyi aŵiri ofunika kwambiri muukwati wachipambano. Kodi angagwiritsidwe ntchito motani m’mbali zina zofunika kwambiri za moyo wa okwatirana?

UMUTU WONGA WA KRISTU

11. Mwa Malemba, kodi mutu wa muukwati ndani?

¹¹ Baibulo limatiuza kuti mwamuna analengedwa ndi mikhalidwe yomkhozetsa kukhala mutu wa banja wachipambano. Motero, mwamuna ali ndi thayo pamaso pa Yehova la kusamalira mkazi wake ndi ana ake mwauzimu ndi mwakuthupi. Afunikira kupanga zosankha zoyenera zimene zimasonyeza chifuniro cha Yehova ndi kukhala chitsanzo chabwino m’makhalidwe aumulungu. “Akazi inu, mverani amuna anu a inu eni, monga kumvera Ambuye. Pakuti mwamuna ndiye mutu wa mkazi, monganso Kristu ndiye mutu wa Eklesia.” (Aefeso 5:22, 23) Komabe, Baibulo limanena kuti mwamunanso ali ndi mutu wake, Uyo wokhala ndi ulamuliro pa iye. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Ndifuna kuti mudziŵe, kuti mutu wa munthu [“mwamuna,” NW] yense ndiye Kristu; ndi mutu wa mkazi ndiye mwamuna; ndipo mutu wa Kristu ndiye Mulungu.” (1 Akorinto 11:3) Mwamuna wanzeru amaphunzira mmene angachitire umutu mwa kutsanzira mutu wake, Kristu Yesu.

12. Kodi ndi chitsanzo chabwino chotani chimene Yesu anapereka chosonyeza kugonjera ndi kuchita umutu?

¹² Yesunso ali ndi mutu wake, Yehova, ndipo amagonjera kwa Iye bwino lomwe. Yesu anati: “Sinditsata chifuniro changa, koma chifuniro cha Iye wondituma ine.” (Yohane 5:30) Chitsanzo chabwino kwenikweni! Yesu ndiye “wobadwa woyamba wa chilengedwe chonse.” (Akolose 1:15) Iye anadzakhala Mesiya. Anali kudzakhala Mutu wa mpingo wa Akristu odzozedwa ndi Mfumu yosankhidwa ya Ufumu wa Mulungu, pamwamba pa angelo onse. (Afilipi 2:9-11; Ahebri 1:4) Mosasamala kanthu za malo okwezeka amenewo ndi ziyembekezo zaulemerero zimenezo, munthuyo Yesu sanali waukali, sanali wosalolera, kapena wolamulira mopambanitsa. Iye sanali wotsendereza, nthaŵi zonse wofuna kuti ophunzira ake amvere iye. Yesu anali wachikondi ndi wachifundo, makamaka kwa oponderezedwa. Iye anati: “Idzani kuno kwa ine nonsenu akulema ndi akuthodwa, ndipo ine ndidzakupumulitsani inu. Senzani goli langa, ndipo phunzirani kwa ine; chifukwa ndili wofatsa ndi wodzichepetsa mtima: ndipo mudzapeza mpumulo wa miyoyo yanu. Pakuti goli langa lili lofeŵa, ndi katundu wanga ali wopepuka.” (Mateyu 11:28-30) Kunali kosangalatsa kukhala naye pamodzi.

13, 14. Kodi mwamuna wachikondi amachita motani umutu wake, mwa kutsanzira Yesu?

¹³ Mwamuna wofuna banja la moyo wachimwemwe amachita bwino kulingalira za mikhalidwe yabwino ya Yesu. Mwamuna wabwino samakhala waukali ndi wolamulira, wogwiritsira ntchito umutu wake molakwa monga mkwapulo kwa mkazi wake. M’malo mwake, amamukonda ndi kumlemekeza. Ngati Yesu anali “wodzichepetsa mtima,” koposa kotani nanga mwamuna, amene amalakwa, mosiyana ndi Yesu. Pamene iye alakwa, amafuna mkazi wake kumkomera mtima. Chotero, mwamuna wodzichepetsa amavomereza zolakwa zake, ngakhale kuti kutchula mawu akuti, “Pepa; unali bwino,” kungakhale kovuta. Kumakhala kosavuta kwa mkazi kulemekeza umutu wa mwamuna wodekha ndi wodzichepetsa, osati wonyada ndi wouma khosi. Ndiyeno, mkazi waulemu nayenso amapepesa pamene alakwa.

¹⁴ Mulungu analenga mkazi ndi mikhalidwe yabwino imene angagwiritsire ntchito kuchititsa ukwati kukhala wachimwemwe. Mwamuna wanzeru amazindikira zimenezi ndipo samamtsekereza. Akazi ambiri amaoneka kukhala achifundo chachikulu ndi atcheru, mikhalidwe yofunikira posamalira banja ndi maunansi aumunthu. Kaŵirikaŵiri, mkazi amakhala ndi changu cha kusamalira nyumba kuti ikhale malo okondweretsa kukhalamo. “Mkazi wangwiro” wolongosoledwa m’Miyambo chaputala 31 anali ndi mikhalidwe yabwino yambiri ndi maluso odabwitsa, ndipo banja lake linapindula nawo kwambiri. Chifukwa ninji? Chifukwa chakuti mtima wa mwamuna wake ‘unamkhulupirira.’—Miyambo 31:10, 11.

15. Kodi mwamuna angasonyeze motani chikondi chonga cha Kristu ndi ulemu kwa mkazi wake?

¹⁵ Kumalo ena, ulamuliro wa mwamuna umachitidwa mopambanitsa, kwakuti ngakhale kumufunsa funso kumaonedwa kukhala kupanda ulemu. Iye angachitire mkazi wake monga kapolo. Kuchita umutu kolakwa kumeneko kumachititsa kusamvana osati ndi mkazi yekha komanso ndi Mulungu. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Yohane 4:20, 21.) Ndiponso, amuna ena amanyalanyaza kutsogolera, akumalola akazi awo kulamulira m’nyumba. Mwamuna amene ali wogonjera kwa Kristu samalima pamsana mkazi wake kapena kumlanda ulemu wake. M’malo mwake, amatsanzira chikondi chodzimana cha Yesu ndipo amachita monga mwa uphungu wa Paulo wakuti: “Amuna inu, kondani akazi anu, monganso Kristu anakonda Eklesia, nadzipereka yekha m’malo mwake.” (Aefeso 5:25) Kristu Yesu anakonda otsatira ake kwambiri kwakuti anawafera iwo. Mwamuna wabwino amayesayesa kutsanzira mkhalidwe wopanda dyera umenewo, akumafuna zabwino za mkazi wake, m’malo mwa kumamulamulira. Pamene mwamuna ali wogonjera kwa Kristu ndi kusonyeza chikondi chonga cha Kristu ndi ulemu, mkazi wake adzasonkhezereka kugonjera kwa iye.—Aefeso 5:28, 29, 33.

KUGONJERA KWA MKAZI

16. Kodi ndi mikhalidwe yotani imene mkazi ayenera kusonyeza paunansi wake ndi mwamuna wake?

¹⁶ Panthaŵi inayake Adamu atalengedwa kale, “Yehova Mulungu ndipo anati, Si kwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha; ndidzampangira womthangatira iye.” (Genesis 2:18) Mulungu analenga Hava monga “womthangatira,” osati monga wopikisana naye. Ukwati sunayenera kukhala monga chombo chokhala ndi oyendetsa aŵiri opikisana. Mwamuna anafunikira kuchita umutu mwachikondi, ndipo mkazi anayenera kusonyeza chikondi, ulemu, ndi kugonjera kofunitsitsa.

17, 18. Kodi ndi njira zina ziti zimene mkazi angakhalire wothandiza weniweni kwa mwamuna wake?

¹⁷ Komabe, mkazi wabwino amachita zoposa kugonjera chabe. Amayesa kukhala wothandiza weniweni, akumakhala wochirikiza mwamuna wake pazosankha zimene apanga. Ndithudi, zimenezo zimakhala zopepuka pamene iye akuvomereza zosankha za mwamuna. Koma ngakhale pamene sakuvomereza, chichirikizo chake chingathandize chosankha cha mwamuna kukhala ndi chotulukapo cha chipambano kwambiri.

¹⁸ Mkazi angathandize mwamuna wake kukhala mutu wabwino m’njira zinanso. Angasonyeze chiyamikiro pa zoyesayesa zake za kutsogolera, m’malo mwa kumsuliza kapena kumchititsa kuona kuti sangamkhutiritse konse. Pochita ndi mwamuna wake m’njira yabwino, ayenera kukumbukira kuti “mzimu wofatsa ndi wachete, ndiwo wa mtengo wake wapatali pamaso pa Mulungu,” osati pamaso pa mwamuna wake yekha. (1 Petro 3:3, 4; Akolose 3:12) Bwanji ngati mwamuna saali wokhulupirira? Kaya akhale wokhulupirira kapena wosakhulupirira, Malemba amalimbikitsa akazi kuti “akonde amuna awo, akonde ana awo, akhale odziletsa, odekha, ochita m’nyumba mwawo, okoma, akumvera amuna a iwo okha, kuti mawu a Mulungu angachitidwe mwano.” (Tito 2:4, 5) Ngati pabuka nkhani za chikumbumtima, mwamuna wosakhulupirira angalemekeze malingaliro a mkazi wake ngati aperekedwa ndi “chifatso ndi mantha.” Amuna ena osakhulupirira ‘akodwa popanda mawu mwa mayendedwe a akazi; pakuona mayendedwe [awo] oyera ndi kuwopa [kwawo].’—1 Petro 3:1, 2, 15; 1 Akorinto 7:13-16.

19. Bwanji ngati mwamuna apempha mkazi wake kuswa lamulo la Mulungu?

¹⁹ Nanga bwanji ngati mwamuna apempha mkazi wake kuchita chinthu chimene Mulungu amaletsa? Ngati zimenezo zichitika, ayenera kukumbukira kuti Mulungu ndiye Wolamulira wamkulu. Ayenera kutsatira chitsanzo cha zimene atumwi anachita pamene anauzidwa ndi olamulira kuti aswe lamulo la Mulungu. Machitidwe 5:29 amati: “Anayankha Petro ndi atumwi, nati, Tiyenera kumvera Mulungu koposa anthu.”

KULANKHULANA KWABWINO

20. Kodi ndi mbali yofunika iti imene imafuna chikondi ndi ulemu?

²⁰ Chikondi ndi ulemu nzofunikanso pambali ina ya ukwati—ya kulankhulana. Mwamuna wachikondi amakambitsirana ndi mkazi wake za ntchito za mkaziyo, mavuto ake, malingaliro ake pankhani zosiyanasiyana. Mkazi amafunikira zimenezi. Mwamuna amene amatenga nthaŵi kulankhula ndi mkazi wake ndi kumvetseradi zimene amanena amasonyeza chikondi chake ndi ulemu kwa iye. (Yakobo 1:19) Akazi ena amadandaula kuti amuna awo amangolankhula nawo kwa nthaŵi yochepa kwambiri. Zimenezo nzachisoni. Inde, m’nthaŵi zino za kutanganidwa, amuna angakhale akumakhala kuntchito maola ochuluka, ndipo mikhalidwe yovuta yazachuma ingachititse akazi ena kuloŵanso ntchito. Koma aŵiri okwatirana afunikira kupatula nthaŵi kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake. Kupanda kutero, adzakhala ndi moyo wayekhawayekha. Zimenezo zingatsogolere ku mavuto aakulu ngati angayambe kufunafuna woyanjana naye wachifundo kunja kwa kakonzedwe ka ukwati.

21. Kodi malankhulidwe oyenera amathandiza motani kuchititsa ukwati kukhala wachimwemwe?

²¹ Njira imene akazi ndi amuna amalankhulira ili yofunika kwambiri. “Mawu okoma ndiwo . . . otsekemera m’moyo ndi olamitsa mafupa.” (Miyambo 16:24) Kaya mnzanu wa muukwati ali wokhulupirira kapena wosakhulupirira, uphungu wa Baibulo umagwirabe ntchito: “Mawu anu akhale m’chisomo, okoleretsa,” ndiko kuti, oyenera. (Akolose 4:6) Pamene wina tsiku silinamuyendere bwino, mawu angapo okoma mtima ndi achifundo ochokera kwa mnzake wa muukwati angamtonthoze mtima kwambiri. “Mawu oyenera apanthaŵi yake akunga zipatso zagolidi m’nsengwa zasiliva.” (Miyambo 25:11) Mawu omveka bwino ndi kusankha bwino mawu nkofunika kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, wina angauze mnzake ndi mawu aukali ndi olamulira kuti: “Tseka chitseko icho!” Koma mawuŵa angakhale “okoleretsa” chotani nanga ngati akambidwa ndi liwu labata, ndi lachifundo kuti, “Kodi ungatseke chitseko?”

22. Kodi ndi mikhalidwe yotani imene okwatirana ayenera kukhala nayo kuti akhale ndi kulankhulana kwabwino?

²² Kulankhulana kwabwino kumakhalapo pamene pali kulankhulana ndi mawu ofatsa, kupenyana kwabwino ndi magesichala ake, kukoma mtima, kumvetsetsana, ndi kumverana chifundo. Mwa kulimbikira kusunga kulankhulana kwabwino, onse aŵiri mwamuna ndi mkazi adzakhala omasuka kutchula zosoŵa zawo, ndi kukhalanso otonthozana ndi othandizana m’nthaŵi zovuta kapena za kupsinjika. “Lankhulani motonthoza kwa opsinjika mtima,” amalimbikitsa motero Mawu a Mulungu. (1 Atesalonika 5:14, NW) Zidzakhalapo nthaŵi pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi adzakhala wopsinjika mtima. Akhoza ‘kulankhula motonthozana,’ akumalimbikitsana.—Aroma 15:2.

23, 24. Kodi chikondi ndi ulemu zingathandize motani pamene pali kusiyana malingaliro? Perekani chitsanzo.

²³ Okwatirana amene amasonyezana chikondi ndi ulemu sadzaona kusiyana malingaliro kulikonse kukhala chothetsa nzeru chachikulu. Adzayesayesa zolimba ‘kusaŵaŵirana mtima.’ (Akolose 3:19) Onse aŵiri ayenera kukumbukira kuti “mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo.” (Miyambo 15:1) Samalani kuti musanyazitse kapena kusuliza mnzanu amene akulankhula motulutsa zakukhosi. M’malo mwake, onani malankhulidwe amenewo kukhala mpata wa kuzindikira malingaliro a mnzanuyo. Chapamodzi, yesani kuthetsa mikangano ndi kugwirizana pachimodzi.

²⁴ Kumbukirani chochitika pamene Sara anapereka lingaliro kwa mwamuna wake Abrahamu, la njira yothetsera vuto koma yosiyana ndi malingaliro ake. Komabe, Mulungu anauza Abrahamu kuti: “Umvere iwe mawu ake.” (Genesis 21:9-12) Abrahamu anamvera, ndipo anadalitsidwa. Mofananamo, ngati mkazi apereka lingaliro la chinthu chosiyana ndi chimene mwamuna wake akuganiza, mwamunayo ayenera choyamba kumvetsera. Panthaŵi imodzimodzi, mkazi sayenera kupondereza pokambitsirana koma ayenera kumvetsera zimene mwamuna wake akufuna kunena. (Miyambo 25:24) Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi aumirira panjira yake nthaŵi zonse, kumeneko ndiko kupanda chikondi ndi kupanda ulemu.

25. Kodi kulankhulana kwabwino kungathandizire motani kupeza chimwemwe m’maunansi athithithi a ukwati?

²⁵ Kulankhulana kwabwino kulinso kofunika pankhani ya kugonana kwa okwatirana. Dyera ndi kusadziletsa kungawononge kwambiri unansi wathithithi umenewu wa muukwati. Kulankhulana komasuka, limodzi ndi kuleza mtima, nkofunika kwambiri. Pamene aliyense mopanda dyera afuna ubwino wa mnzake, kugonana sikumakhala vuto lalikulu kaŵirikaŵiri. Pankhani imeneyi, mofanana ndi zina, “munthu asafune zake za iye yekha, koma za mnzake.”—1 Akorinto 7:3-5; 10:24.

26. Ngakhale kuti ukwati uliwonse umakhala ndi nthaŵi zabwino ndi zoipa, kodi kumvetsera Mawu a Mulungu kungathandize motani okwatirana kupeza chimwemwe?

²⁶ Ndi uphungu wabwino chotani nanga wa Mawu a Mulungu! Zoona, ukwati uliwonse umakhala ndi nthaŵi zabwino ndi zoipa. Koma pamene okwatirana atsatira malingaliro a Yehova, monga momwe Baibulo likusonyezera, ndi kuzika unansi wawo pa chikondi cha pulinsipulo ndi ulemu, angakhale ndi chidaliro chakuti ukwati wawo udzakhala kwa nthaŵi yaitali ndi wachimwemwe. Mwakutero adzalemekezana ndi kulemekezanso Woyambitsa ukwati, Yehova Mulungu.