Vuto la Kusamala Wina

“NTHAŴI zina ndinali kungoti bwenzi ndikanathaŵa. Koma ndi pamene anali kundifuna kwambiri. Nthaŵi zina ndinali kusungulumwa.”—Jeanny, amene anadwazika mwamuna wake wazaka 29 kwa miyezi 18 asanamwalire ndi fundo ya muubongo.a

“Pali nthaŵi zina pamene Amayi amandikwiyitsa, kenako ndimadziona woipa. Ndimadziona ngati wolephera pamene sindiupirira mkhalidwewo.”—Rose, 59, amene ankasamala amake azaka 90 athanzi lofooka, amene ankangokhala chogona.

Uthenga wa matenda osachiritsika kapena obwerezabwereza ungasautse mtima achibale ndi mabwenzi. “Munthu atapezeka ndi nthenda banja lililonse limadziona ngati kuti lili lokhalokha. Iwo sangadziŵe aliyense amene anakhalapo ndi vuto limeneli,” akutero Jeanne Munn Bracken, mu Children With Cancer. Iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amakhalanso “odabwa kwambiri ndipo samakhulupirira,” monga Elsa pamene anamva kuti Betty, bwenzi lake lapafupi lazaka 36, ali ndi kansa. Sue, amene atate wake anali wodwala, “anazizira” m’mimba atadziŵa potsirizira pake kuti atate wake anali pafupi kumwalira ndi kansa.

Mwadzidzidzi achibale ndi mabwenzi angangodzipeza kuti ali ndi thayo la kupereka chisamaliro—kupereka zosoŵa zakuthupi ndi chilimbikitso kwa wodwalayo. Angafunikire kumaphika zakudya zopatsa thanzi, kuyang’anira zamankhwala, kufunafuna zopitira kwa dokotala, kuchereza odzazonda wodwalayo, kulemba makalata a wodwalayo, ndi zina zambirimbiri. Nthaŵi zambiri zinthu zimenezi zimangophatikizidwa pandandanda yodzala kale ndi zinthu zina.

Komabe, pamene matenda a wodwala apita akula, ntchito yomsamala imakulanso. Kodi zimenezi zingaphatikizepo chiyani? “Zilizonse!” akutero Elsa posimba za bwenzi lake, Betty, amene amakhala chogona. “Kumsambitsa ndi kumdyetsa, kumgwiririra akamasanza, kutaya mkodzo wake.” Kathy, mosasamala kanthu kuti anali kugwira ntchito yanthaŵi zonse, analinso kusamala amake odwala. Sue, wotchulidwa poyambayo, akusimba kuti “anali kupima ndi kulemba kutentha kwa thupi [la atate wake] theka lililonse la ola, kuwapukuta ndi nsalu ya madzi ozizira thupi likatentha kwambiri, ndi kuwasintha zovala ndi mabulangete maola angapo alionse.”

Mtundu wa chisamaliro chimene wodwala akulandira kwenikweni chimayendera pamodzi ndi ubwino wa osamalawo. Komabe, nthaŵi zambiri malingaliro ndi zosoŵa za osamala odwala amazinyalanyaza. Ngati kusamala wina kunali kungopweteka msana ndi mapeŵa, zimenezo zikanakhalabe zolimba. Komabe, ambiri osamala ena amavomereza kuti chisamalirocho amachipereka movutika mtima kwambiri.

“Zinandichititsa Manyazi Kwambiri”

“Nthaŵi zambiri kufufuza kumasonyeza kuti pamakhala kupsinjika maganizo chifukwa cha khalidwe [la wodwalayo] losadziletsa, lochititsa manyazi, ndiponso kuzaza kwake,” ikutero The Journals of Gerontology. Mwachitsanzo, Gillian akusimba zimene zinachitika pamene bwenzi lake pamsonkhano wachikristu linampempha kuti likaone amake okalambawo. “Amayi anangooneka ngati sakudziŵa kalikonse ndipo sanayankhe,” akukumbukira choncho mwachisoni Gillian. “Zinandichititsa manyazi kwambiri ndipo ndinalira.”

“Nchimodzi cha zinthu zovuta koposa kupirira,” akutero Joan amene mwamuna wake ali ndi msala. “Umamtayitsa ulemu,” akufotokoza motero. “Pamene tapita ndi ena kukadyera m’malesitiranti, nthaŵi zina amapita pamathebulo ena m’chipinda chodyeracho, kulaŵa jamu, ndi kubwezera supuni yomwe agwiritsira ntchito m’mbale ya jamu. Ngati tikuchezera anansi, angalavulire panjira ya m’mbali mwa maluŵa. Ndimavutika kwambiri kuti ndisiye kuganiza kuti ena ayenera kuti akunena za makhalidwe ameneŵa ndipo mwinamwake amamuona ngati munthu wopandiratu mwambo. Ndimamva monga ndingaloŵe pansi.”

“Ndinaopa Kuti Ngati Sitisamala . . . ”

Kusamala wokondedwa wodwala kwambiri kungakhale kochititsa mantha kwambiri. Wosamalayo angaope zimene zidzachitika pamene matendawo akukula—mwinamwake kuopa ngakhale imfa ya wokondedwa wake. Angaopenso kuti mwina sadzakhala ndi nyonga kapena sadzakwaniritsa zosoŵa za wodwalayo.

Elsa akufotokoza chifukwa cha mantha ake motere: “Ndinaopa kuti mwina ndingampweteke Betty, choncho kuwonjezera kuvutika kwake, kapena kuti ndingachite kenakake kamene kangafupikitse moyo wake.”

Nthaŵi zina zimene wodwala akuopa ndi zimenenso womsamala amayamba kuopa. “Atate ankaopa kwambiri kutsamwa ndipo nthaŵi zina ankatekeseka,” anatero Sue. “Ndinaopa kuti ngati sitisamala, adzatsamwa ndi kuvutika ndi chinthu chomwe ankaopa kwambiri.”

“Ukaganiza Mmene Analili Ungalire”

“Anthu amene akusamala wokondedwa wawo wodwala nthenda yosatha amamva chisoni mwachibadwa,” ikutero Caring for the Person With Dementia. “Pamene matenda a wodwalayo akukula, mungamve kuti mukutaya bwenzi ndi unansi umene unali wofunika kwambiri kwa inu. Ukaganiza mmene analili ungalire.”

Jennifer akufotokoza mmene banja lawo linamvera ndi kudwala kwa amake kwapang’onopang’ono: “Zinatipweteka mtima kwambiri. Tinayamba kukumbukira nkhani zawo zaumoyo. Tinachita chisoni kwambiri.” Gillian akufotokoza kuti: “Sindinafune kuti amayi amwalire, ndipo sindinafune kuti avutike. Ndinali kungolira.”

“Ndinamva Ngati Anditaya, Wokwiya”

Wosamala ena angadzifunse kuti: ‘Nchifukwa ninji izi zikuchitika kwa ine? Nchifukwa ninji ena sakundithandiza? Kodi sakuona kuti sindikukwanitsa bwinobwino? Kodi wodwalayu sangasiye kuvuta?’ Nthaŵi zina, wosamala wina angakwiye kwambiri chifukwa cha zimene zingaoneke ngati zinthu zomawonjezereka ndipo zosayenerera zimene wodwala ndi achibale ena angafune kwa iye. Rose, wotchulidwa m’mawu oyamba, akuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri ndimadzikwiyira ndekha—mumtima mwanga. Koma Amayi amati ndimaoneka pankhope.”

Wosamalayo ndiye angavutike kwambiri ndi kugwira mwala kwa wodwala ndi mkwiyo wake. M’buku lakuti Living With Cancer, Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum akulongosola kuti odwala ena “nthaŵi zina amakwiya kwambiri ndi kuchita tondovi ndipo amafuzira pa munthu amene ali pafupi kwambiri . . . Mkwiyo umenewu kaŵirikaŵiri umatuluka monga kukwiya patinthu tachabechabe timene nthaŵi zonse sitimamdetsa nkhaŵa nkomwe wodwalayo.” Ndiye chifukwa chake, zimenezi zingawonjezere mtolo pa okondedwa ake opsinjika kale maganizo amene akuyesetsa ndithu kusamala wodwalayo.

Mwachitsanzo, Maria anagwiradi ntchito podwazika bwenzi lake limene linali pafupi kumwalira. Komabe, nthaŵi zina, bwenzi lakelo linaoneka kukhala lonyumwa kwambiri ndi kumangomganizira zinthu zolakwa. “Nthaŵi zina ankazaza kwambiri ndi kuchita mwano, kuchititsa manyazi okondedwa ake,” akufotokoza motero Maria. Kodi Maria anamva bwanji ndi zimenezi? “Panthaŵiyo, umaoneka kuti ‘ukumvetsa’ wodwalayo. Koma nditaziganiziranso pambuyo pake, ndinamva ngati anditaya, wokwiya, ndi wosokonezeka—ndipo wosafuna kusonyeza chikondi chofunikira.”

Kufufuza kofalitsidwa mu The Journals of Gerontology kunati: “Mkwiyo umatha kukundikana posamala wina [ndipo] nthaŵi zina umachititsa chiwawa kapena kufuna kuchita zinthu mwachiwawa.” Ofufuzawo anapeza kuti pafupifupi wosamala ena 1 mwa 5 alionse amaopa kuti angachite zinthu mwachiwawa. Ndipo oposa 1 mwa 20 anachitadi zinthu mwachiwawa kwa wodwala wake.

“Ndikudzimva Waliwongo”

Ambiri amene akusamala ena amavutika ndi podzimva aliwongo. Nthaŵi zina liwongolo limatsatira mkwiyo—ndiko kuti, amadzimva aliwongo chifukwa chakuti amakwiya nthaŵi zina. Malingaliro ameneŵa angawalefule kwambiri kwakuti angamve kuti sangakwanitsenso.

Nthaŵi zina, pamakhala palibe chochita koma kungopereka wodwalayo kumene amasamala odwala kapena kuchipatala kuti akamsamalire. Chimenechi chingakhale chosankha chosautsa kwambiri chimene chingazunze mtima wa wosamala. “Pomalizira pake nditakakamizika kupereka Amayi kunyumba yosamalako odwala, ndinamva ngati kuti ndinali kuwakana, kuwataya,” akutero Jeanne.

Kaya wodwala agonekedwa kapena sanagonekedwe m’chipatala, okondedwa ake angamve liwongo lakuti palibe zenizeni zimene akumchitira. Elsa anati: “Ndinali kumva chisoni nthaŵi zambiri chifukwa chakuti ndinalibe nthaŵi yokwanira. Nthaŵi zina bwenzi langa silinali kufuna kuti ndipite.” Pangakhalenso nkhaŵa kuti mathayo ena a m’banja akunyalanyazidwa, makamaka ngati wosamalayo nthaŵi yaikulu amaithera kuchipatala kapena ngati amagwira ntchito maola ambiri kuti athandize kulipira bilu yomakwerayo. “Ndiyenera kugwira ntchito kuti ndithandize kulipira zofunika,” anadandaula mayi wina, “komabe ndimadzimva waliwongo chifukwa chakuti panyumba sindimakhalapo kuti ndione ana anga.”

Mosakayikira, osamala ena amafunitsitsa chichirikizo, makamaka yemwe ankasamalayo atamwalira. “Thayo langa lovuta kwambiri [wodwala atamwalira] . . . ndilo kuthetsa malingaliro a liwongo mwa amene anali kumsamala, amene kaŵirikaŵiri samawafotokoza,” akutero Dr. Fredrick Sherman, wa ku Huntington, New York.

Ngati malingaliro ameneŵa angokhala osawatchula, angawononge onse aŵiri wosamala ndi wodwala wake. Choncho nchiyani chimene osamala ena angachite kuti agonjetse malingaliro ameneŵa? Ndipo nchiyaninso chimene ena—achibale ndi mabwenzi—angachite kuti awathandize?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 5]

Musawalekerere!

“TIKUDZIŴA kuti 80% ya okalamba amene akusamalidwa panyumba ndi akazi amene amawasamala,” akutero Myrna I. Lewis, profesa wothandizira m’dipatimenti ya mankhwala a anthu onse pa Mount Sinai Medical School, New York.

Kufufuza kwina kochitidwa pa akazi amene akusamala ena, kofalitsidwa mu The Journals of Gerontology,b kunasonyeza kuti 61 peresenti ya akaziwo anati sakulandira thandizo lililonse kwa achibale kapena mabwenzi. Ndipo oposa theka (57.6 peresenti) anati amuna awo sakuwalimbikitsa zenizeni. M’buku lakuti Children With Cancer, Jeanne Munn Bracken akusonyeza kuti pamene amayi anyamula mtolo waukulu wosamala wina, “atate samachita zambiri ndipo amangosumika maganizo awo pantchito yawo.”

Komabe, palinso gawo lalikulu la amuna amene akusamala ena, akutero Dr. Lewis. Mwachitsanzo, pali amuna ambiri amene akazi awo ali ndi nthenda ya Alzheimer. Ndipo iwonso amapsinjika maganizo posamala wokondedwa wawo. “Mwinanso amunawa ndiwo amapsinjika maganizo kwambiri pa onse,” akupitiriza motero Lew­is, “chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zambiri amakhala achikulire kwambiri kuposa akazi awo ndipo mwina iwowo alibenso umoyo wabwino. . . . Ochuluka sanaphunzitsidwe njira zothandiza za kusamalira wina.”

Mabanja sayenera kulola chizoloŵezi cha kunyamulitsa mtolo munthu mmodzi m’banja amene amaoneka kuti akudziŵa bwino mochitira ndi vutolo. “Kaŵirikaŵiri pamakhala mmodzi m’banja amene amakhala wosamala, ndipo mwinamwake osati kamodzi kokha,” likutero buku lakuti Care for the Carer. “Ochuluka a ameneŵa ndi akazi amenenso akukalamba. . . . Akazinso amaonedwa monga osamala ‘mwachibadwa’ . . . , koma mabanja ndi mabwenzi sayenera kuwalekerera.”

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Osamala ena amafuna kuwachirikiza kuti agonjetse malingaliro a liwongo ndi mkwiyo

Mmene Mungachitire ndi Malingaliro

KODI pali pano mukusamala wokondedwa wodwala kwambiri? Ngati zili choncho, mwina mungasokonezeke maganizo ngakhale kuda nkhaŵa. Kodi mungachitenji? Onani malingaliro amene anthu osamala ena amalimbana nawo ndi njira zotsatirika zomwe zawathandiza kupirira.

Manyazi. Nthaŵi zina, makhalidwe a munthu wodwala angakuchititseni manyazi pamaso pa ena. Koma kufotokozera mabwenzi ndi anansi mkhalidwe wa matenda a wokondedwa wanu kungawathandize kumvetsa ndipo kungawachititsenso kusonyeza ‘chifundo’ ndi kufatsa. (1 Petro 3:8) Ngati kutheka, lankhulani ndi mabanja ena amenenso ali mumkhalidwe wonga wanu. Manyazi anu angachepe pamene musimbirana mmene zimakhalira. Sue akufotokoza zimene zinamthandiza kuti: “Ndinawachitira chisoni kwambiri atate—zinathetsa manyazi alionse. Ndiponso nthabwala zawo zinandithandiza.” Inde, nthabwala—za wodwala ndi omsamala omwe—zili njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera kupsinjika maganizo.—Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 3:4.

Mantha. Kusadziŵa nthendayo kungakhale koopsa zedi. Ngati kutheka, funsani odziŵa bwino kuti akuuzeni zimene muyenera kuyembekezera pamene matendawo akula. Phunzirani kupereka chisamaliro m’mikhalidwe imeneyo. Kwa Elsa, china chimene chinamthandiza kwambiri kupirira mantha ake chinali kulankhula ndi enanso amene akusamala wina ndi manesi a m’nyumba ya odwala nthenda zosachiritsika ponena za zimene ayenera kuyembekezera pamene matenda a wodwala wake akula. Jeanny akulangiza kuti: “Limbanani nawo mantha anu ndi kuwaletsa. Kuopa zimene zingachitike kaŵirikaŵiri kumaposa ndi matendawo.” Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum akunena kuti mantha anu muyenera “kuwafotokoza pamene ayamba” mosasamala kanthu za chimene chikuwachititsa.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 15:22.

Chisoni. Kulimbana ndi chisoni sikwapafupi, makamaka posamala wina. Mungachite chisoni chifukwa chotaya ubwenzi wanu, makamaka ngati wodwala wanu wokondedwa sathanso kulankhula, kumvetsa bwinobwino, kapena kukudziŵani. Ena sangamvetse malingaliro ameneŵa mwamsanga. Kulankhula za chisoni chanu kwa bwenzi lanu lomvetsa limene lidzamvetsera mofatsa ndi mwachifundo kungadzetse mpumulo wofunika kwambiriwo.—Miyambo 17:17.

Mkwiyo ndi Kukhumudwa. Zimenezi nzachibadwa posamala munthu wodwala kwambiri amene makhalidwe ake nthaŵi zina angakhale ovuta kwambiri. (Yerekezerani ndi Aefeso 4:26.) Dziŵani kuti kaŵirikaŵiri ndi nthenda imene imachititsa makhalidwe opsinja maganizo, osati wodwalayo. Lucy akukumbukira kuti: “Nditakwiya kwambiri, ndinali kulira. Ndiyeno ndinali kukumbukira mkhalidwe wa wodwala ndi matenda ake. Ndinadziŵa kuti wodwalayo anali kufuna thandizo langa. Zimenezo zinali kundithandiza kusalefuka.” Nzeru imeneyi ‘ingachedwetse mkwiyo.’—Miyambo 14:29; 19:11.

Liwongo. Ambiri amene akusamala wina amamva liwongo. Komabe, dziŵani kuti mukuchita ntchito yoyenera koma yovuta kwambiri. Dziŵani choonadi chakuti si nthaŵi zonse pamene mudzalankhula kapena kuchita zinthu mwangwiro. Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti: “Timakhumudwa tonse pa zinthu zambiri. Munthu akapanda kukhumudwa pa mawu, iye ndiye munthu wangwiro, wokhoza kumanganso thupi lonse.” (Yakobo 3:2; Aroma 3:23) Musalole kumva kwanu liwongo kukulepheretsani kuchitapo kanthu tsopano motsimikiza. Pamene simunakondwe nazo zimene mwanena kapena kuchita, kaŵirikaŵiri mudzapeza kuti kunena kuti “Pepani” kudzakuchititsani inuyo ndi wodwala wanu kumva bwino. Mwamuna wina amene anasamala wachibale wake wodwala anati: “Chitani zimene mungathe m’mikhalidweyo.”

Kuchita Tondovi. Mabanja ambiri amene akulimbana ndi matenda aakulu amachita tondovi, ndipo zimenezo nzomveka. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Atesalonika 5:14.) Wopereka chisamaliro wina amene amachita tondovi akufotokoza zimene zinamthandiza: “Ambiri anali kutiyamikira kuti tinali kupereka chisamaliro. Mawu achilimbikitso angapo okha angakulimbikitse kusalefuka pamene watopa kwambiri kapena kuchita tondovi.” Baibulo limati: “Nkhaŵa iŵeramitsa mtima wa munthu; koma mawu abwino aukondweretsa.” (Miyambo 12:25) Ena nthaŵi zina sangazindikire kuti mukufunikira chilimbikitso. Choncho, nthaŵi zina, mungafunikire choyamba kutchula poyera “nkhaŵa” imene ili mumtima mwanu kuti mulandire “mawu abwino” olimbikitsa kuchokera kwa ena. Komabe, ngati kuchita tondovi kupitiriza kapena kukulirako, kungakhale bwino kuonana ndi dokotala.

Kusoŵa Chochita. Mungaone monga mulibe chochita mutayang’anizana ndi matenda ofooketsa. Khulupirirani kuti zimene zikuchitika nzoona. Dziŵani zimene simungathe kuchita—inu simungasinthe thanzi la wodwala wanu, koma mungapereke chisamaliro chachikondi. Musayembekezere kuti inuyo, wodwala wanu, kapena okuchirikizani mudzachita zinthu mwangwiro. Kachitidwe koyenera kadzachepetsa malingaliro akuti mulibe chochita ndi kuchepetsa mtolo wa ntchito. Ambiri amene asamala wokondedwa akulangiza mwanzeru kuti: Phunzirani kutenga tsiku lililonse palokha.—Mateyu 6:34.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 8]

“Limbanani nawo mantha anu ndi kuwaletsa. Kuopa zimene zingachitike kaŵirikaŵiri kumaposa ndi matendawo”

[Bokosi patsamba 7]

Mawu Olimbikitsa a Opereka Chisamaliro

“MUSAPSINJIKE maganizo chifukwa cha kudzisuliza. Nkwachibadwa m’mikhalidwe yotero. Komabe simuyenera kubisa malingaliro anu. Uzani wina mmene mukumvera, ndipo ngati mungathe, pitani kokapuma​—⁠pitani kwina kwa kanthaŵi⁠—​kuti mukapumule.”​—⁠Lucy, amene ntchito yake m’chipatala yaloŵetsamo kuthandiza anthu angapo amene akusamala limodzinso ndi odwala.

“Ngati pali achibale kapena mabwenzi ofunitsitsa kuthandiza, aloleni athandize. Kunyamuzana ndi ena mtolowo nkofunika kwambiri.”​—⁠Sue, amene anadwazika atate wake asanamwalire ndi nthenda ya Hodgkin.

“Phunzirani kukonda nthabwala.”​—⁠Maria, amene anathandiza kusamalira bwenzi lake lokondedwa limene linamwalira ndi kansa.

“Limbani mwauzimu. Yandikirani kwa Yehova, ndipo pempherani kosaleka. (1 Atesalonika 5:17; Yakobo 4:⁠8) Iye amapereka thandizo ndi chitonthozo mwa mzimu wake, Mawu ake, atumiki ake a padziko lapansi, ndi malonjezo ake. Khalani wolinganizika ndithu. Mwachitsanzo, nkothandiza kupanga ndandanda yamankhwala ndi ya othandiza.”​—⁠Hjalmar, amene anasamalira mlamu wake asanafe.

“Dziŵani zonse zimene mungadziŵe ponena za matenda a wodwala wanu. Ndiyeno zimenezo zidzakuthandizani kudziŵa zimene mungayembekezere kuchitika kwa wodwala wanu ndi kwa inuyo ndi kudziŵa mmene mungasamalirire wodwala wanu.”​—⁠Joan, amene mwamuna wake ali ndi nthenda ya Alzheimer.

“Dziŵani kuti ena alimbana nazo inuyo musanatero ndi kuti Yehova angakuthandizeni kulimbana ndi zilizonse zimene zingachitike.”​—⁠Jeanny, amene anasamalira mwamuna wake asanamwalire.

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Kuti muchepetse mantha anu, dziŵani zonse zimene mungadziŵe ponena za matendawo

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Kulankhula ndi bwenzi lomvetsetsa kungadzetse mpumulo waukulu

Kusamala Wosamala Ena Mmene Ena Angathandizire

“INE ndi Lawrie takhala mu ukwati zaka 55—nthaŵi yaitali ndithu—ndipo mmene zakazo zakhalira zosangalatsa! Ngati kunali kotheka kumsunga panyumba, ndikanatero. Koma thanzi langa linayamba kuipa. Pomaliza, ndinapanga makonzedwe akuti apite kunyumba yosamala ofooka. Kuvutika kwanga mtima posimba zimenezi kumandikulira. Ndimamkonda ndi kumlemekeza kwambiri ndipo ndimakamuona nthaŵi zambiri. Thupi langa silikundilola kuchita zambiri.”—Anna, mkazi wazaka zakubadwa 78 amene kwa zaka zoposa 10 wasamala mwamuna wake wodwala nthenda ya Alzheimer ndiponso wasamala mwana wawo wamkazi pazaka 40 zapitazo amene ali ndi nthenda ya Down’s syndrome.a

Mkhalidwe wa Anna suuli wachilendo ayi. Zofufuza ku British Isles zinasonyeza kuti “pakati pa amisinkhu yakutiyakuti (a m’ma 40 ndi ma 50) mkazi mmodzi aliyense mwa aŵiri amasamala ena.” Monga momwe tatchulirapo kale, kuvutika mtima ndi zothetsa nzeru zimene osamala ena amakhala nazo zingakhale zosapiririka nthaŵi zina.

“Ndikhulupirira kuti 50% ya osamala ena amachita tondovi chaka chawo choyamba chosamala ena,” akutero Dr. Fredrick Sherman, wa American Geriatrics Society. Zinthu zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kwa okalamba onga Anna chifukwa cha nyonga yawo yomachepayo ndi thanzi lawo lomaipiraipira.

Kuti tithandize osamala ena kukwanitsa mathayo awo, tiyenera kuzindikira zofuna zawo. Kodi zofuna zawozo nzotani, ndipo tingazipereke motani?

Osamala Ena Amafuna Kulankhula

“Ndinafuna kutula mtolo wanga,” anatero mkazi wina yemwe anathandiza kusamala mnzake asanafe. Monga momwe nkhani yatha yasonyezera, kukhala ndi mavuto ndi kulimbana nawo kumakhala kofeŵa pamene ukambitsirana mavutowo ndi mnzako womvetsa. Ambiri osamala ena amene amadzimva opanikizika ndi mikhalidwe yawo amapeza kuti kulankhula za mkhalidwe wawo kumawathandiza kumveketsa malingaliro awo ndi kufeŵetsa kupanikizika kwawo kwakukuluko.

“Ndinayamikira kwambiri pamene anzathu anazindikira kuti aŵirife tinafunikira kutilimbikitsa,” Jeanny akukumbukira nthaŵi pamene anali kusamala mwamuna wake. Akufotokoza kuti wosamala ena amafuna kumlimbikitsa ndipo, nthaŵi zina, munthu womdandaulira. Hjalmar, amene anathandiza kudwazika mlamu wake, akuvomereza: “Ndinafunikira munthu amene akanamvetsera nkhaŵa zanga ndi zothetsa nzeru ndi kumvetsa mmene ndinkamveramo.” Ponena za bwenzi lapamtima, Hjalmar akuwonjeza kuti: “Kumchezera kunali kosangalatsa kwambiri, ngakhale theka la ola lokha. Anali kundimvetsera. Analidi kusamala. Pambuyo pake ndinali kumva bwino.”

Womvetsera wachifundo angalimbikitse kwambiri osamala ena. Baibulo limalangiza mwanzeru kuti: ‘Mukhale otchera khutu, odekha polankhula.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Lipoti mu The Journals of Gerontology linasonyeza kuti “kungodziŵa kuti alipo okuchirikiza kumatokwanira kukupatsa mpumulo.”

Komabe, kuwonjeza pa kuwamvetsera ndi kuwalimbikitsa, kodi nchiyaninso chimene osamala ena amafuna?

Kuwathandiza mwa Kuwachitira Zinthu

“Wodwala ndi banja lomwe amapindula ndi njira iliyonse imene chikondi ndi chilimbikitso chingasonyezedwere,” akutero Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum. Choyamba, “chikondi ndi chilimbikitso” chimenecho chingasonyezedwe pokawaona, pokambitsirana nawo patelefoni, kapena m’kalata yachidule (mwinamwake yopitira limodzi ndi maluŵa kapena mphatso ina).

“Pamene anzathu anabwera kudzationa kwa nthaŵi yochepa, zinatitonthoza,” Sue akukumbukira mmene ena anachirikizira banja lawo atate wake asanafe ndi nthenda ya Hodgkin. “Mzanga wina,” akupitiriza, “anali kuyankha mafoni ndi kutithandiza kuchapa ndi kutisitira zovala ife tonse.”

Kuchirikiza osamala ena kungaphatikizepo, ndipo kuyenera kuphatikizapo, thandizo lakutilakuti looneka. Elsa akukumbukira kuti: “Zinathandiza kwambiri pamene anzanga anachita zinthu zothandiza. Sanangonena kuti: ‘Ngati pali zimene ndingachite, udzandiuze.’ M’malo mwake, anati: ‘Ndikupita kukagula zinthu. Ndikubweretsere chiyani?’ ‘Kodi ndingasamalire maluŵa anu?’ ‘Ndingakhale ndi wodwala ndi kumuŵerengera.’ Chinanso chimene chinathandiza ndicho kulinganiza kuti alendo azisiya atalemba mauthenga m’buku pamene mzanga wodwalayo anali wotopa kapena anali mtulo. Zimenezo zinatisangalatsa kwambiri tonsefe.”

Thandizo limene mungafune kupereka lingaphatikizepo ntchito zingapo zilizonse. Rose akufotokoza kuti: “Ndinayamikira kwambiri thandizo loyala mbedi, kulemba makalata a wodwala, kucheza ndi alendo a wodwalayo, kugula mankhwala, kuchapa ndi kukonza tsitsi lake, kutsuka mbale.” Banja ndi mabwenzi angathandizenso wosamala enayo mwa kusinthana kukonza chakudya.

Pamene zili zoyenera, kungakhalenso kothandiza kuchita mbali zina zosamalira wodwala. Mwachitsanzo, wosamala enayo angafunikire kumthandiza kudyetsa wodwalayo kapena kumsambika.

Achibale ndi anzake angathandize mwa kuchita zinthu nthendayo itangoyamba, koma bwanji ngati nthendayo itenga nthaŵi yaitali? Potanganidwa ndi ntchito zathu zochuluka, tinganyalanyaze msanga zimene zilipo—ndipo mwinamwake—kupanikizika kumene osamala ena amakhala nako. Zingakhale zachisoni chotani nanga ngati chichirikizo chofunika koposa chiyamba kuchepa!

Zimenezo zitachitika, kungakhale kwanzeru kuti wosamala enayo aitanitse msonkhano wa banja wokambitsirana zosamalira wodwalayo. Nthaŵi zambiri zimatheka kupempha thandizo kwa mabwenzi ndi achibale omwe asonyeza kuti ali okonzeka kuthandiza. Sue ndi banja lawo anachita zimenezo. “Pamene thandizo linafunika,” akutero, “tinakumbukira aja amene analonjeza kuti adzatithandiza ndi kuwaimbira foni. Tinaganiza kuti tikanatha kuwapempha thandizo.”

Apatseni Mpumulo

“Nzofunika kwambiri,” likutero buku lakuti The 36-Hour Day, “kwa inu [wosamala mnzanu] ndi kwa [wodwala wanu]—kuti muzikhala ndi nthaŵi masiku onse ‘yopuma’ pantchito yausana ndi usiku yosamala munthu wodwala matenda osatha. . . . Kupuma pantchito yosamala [wodwala] ndiko chimodzi cha zinthu zimene mungachite zofunika koposa kuti mukhoze kupitiriza kusamala wina.” Kodi osamala ena akuvomereza?

“Nzoona,” akuyankha Maria, amene anathandiza kusamala mnzake wapamtima asanafe ndi kansa. “Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, ndinafuna ‘kumasuka m’goli’ ndi kuti wina amsamale kwa kanthaŵi.” Joan, amene amasamala mwamuna wake wodwala nthenda ya Alzheimer, akuvomerezana nazo zimenezo. “Zinthu zimene timafuna koposa,” akutero, “zimaphatikizapo kukhala ndi nthaŵi yopuma kaŵirikaŵiri.”

Nanga angaipeze bwanji nthaŵi yopuma pamene mathayo awo ali opanikiza? Jennifer, amene anathandiza kusamala makolo ake okalamba, akusonyeza mmene anapezera mpumulo: “Nthaŵi zina mnzathu ankatenga amayi tsiku lonse kuti ife tipumeko.”

Mungampatse mpumulo wosamala ena mwa kudzipereka kutenga wodwalayo kwa kanthaŵi, ngati zimenezo zitheka. Joan akuti: “Zimanditsitsimula pamene wina nthaŵi zina atenga mwamuna wanga ndi kupita naye kuti ndikhale ndekha kanthaŵi.” Komanso, mukhoza kucheza ndi wodwalayo kunyumba kwake. Kaya ndi ziti zimene mungachite, perekani mpata wakuti wosamala mnzake apeze mpumulo umene amafuna kwambiri.

Koma kumbukirani kuti nthaŵi zina zimawavuta osamala ena kuti achokepo ndi kukapuma. Angadzimve aliwongo pokhala kutali ndi wokondedwa wawo. “Si kwapafupi kumsiya ndi kukasanguluka kapena kukapuma,” akuvomereza Hjalmar. “Ndinaganiza kuti ndinafunikira kukhala naye nthaŵi zonse.” Koma maganizo ake anakhala pamtendere kwambiri mwa kupuma pamene mlamu wake anafunikira chisamaliro chochepa. Ena alinganiza kuti wokondedwa wawo asamalidwe kwa maola oŵerengeka kunyumba zosamala okalamba.

Kutha kwa Matenda Onse

Kunena zoona, kusamala wokondedwa amene akudwala kwambiri ndi ntchito yovuta. Komabe, kusamala wokondedwa wanu kungakhale kokhutiritsa kwambiri. Ofufuza ndiponso osamala ena amati maunansi m’banja ndiponso ndi mabwenzi amalimba. Nthaŵi zonse, osamala ena amaphunzira mikhalidwe ndi maluso atsopano. Ambiri amapezanso mapindu auzimu.

Chofunika koposa, Baibulo limasonyeza kuti Yehova ndi Mwana wake, Yesu Kristu, ali achifundo koposa posamala ena. Ulosi wa Baibulo umatitsimikiza kuti matenda onse, mavuto, ndi imfa zidzatha posachedwa. Posachedwa, Mlengi wa anthu wosamala adzafupa olungama okhala padziko lapansi ndi moyo wosatha m’dziko latsopano lathanzi langwiro—limene “wokhalamo sadzanena, Ine ndidwala.”—Yesaya 33:24; Chivumbulutso 21:4.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 11]

Ubwino wa munthu wodwala umayenderana ndi ubwino wanu

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 12]

Chichirikizo cha mabwenzi abwino chidzakuthandizani kwambiri kupirira nthaŵi zovuta koposa

[Bokosi patsamba 12]

Kusamala Ena Kungakhale Kofupa

‘KOFUPA?’ ena angafunse. ‘Zimenezo zitheka bwanji?’ Chonde tamverani zimene osamala enawa anauza Galamukani!:

“Kudzimana zimene ukonda ndi zimene ufuna sikumakulanda chimwemwe chako. ‘Kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.’ (Machitidwe 20:35) Kusamala wina amene umakonda kungakhale kokhutiritsa kwambiri.”​—⁠Joan.

“Ndinakondwera kwambiri kuti ndinatha kuthandiza mlongo wanga ndi mlamu wanga pamene anafuna thandizo kwambiri​—⁠popanda iwo kundilipira. Zinatigwirizanitsa kwambiri. Ndikhulupirira tsiku lina ndidzagwiritsira ntchito chidziŵitso chimene ndapeza kuthandiza wina amene adzakhala mumkhalidwe wonga umenewo.”​—⁠Hjalmar.

“Malinga ndi zimene nthaŵi zambiri ndinkauza mnzanga wodwalayo Betty, zimene ndinalandira zinaposeratu zimene ndinapereka. Ndinaphunzira chifundo ndi kuleza mtima. Ndinaphunzira kuti zitheka kukhalabe wosasokonezeka maganizo m’mikhalidwe yovutitsa.”​—⁠Elsa.

“Ndinakhala munthu wolimba kwambiri. Ndinadziŵa bwino lomwe tanthauzo la kudalira Yehova Mulungu masiku onse ndi kumlola kundipatsa zofuna ­zanga.”​—⁠Jeanny.

[Bokosi patsamba 13]

Pocheza ndi Wosamala Ena

• Mvetserani mwachifundo

• Myamikireni kuchokera mumtima

• Perekani thandizo lotsimikizika

[Zithunzi patsamba 10]

Chirikizani osamala ena mwa kuwagulira zinthu ndi kuwaphikira kapena mwa kuwathandiza kusamala wodwala