Pamene Nthenda Yaikulu Yagwira Banja

CHIMWEMWE cha banja la a Du Toit n’chochititsa ena kukhala achimwemwe. N’zochititsa chidwi kwabasi kuona mmene amakonderana. Mutakumana nawo, simungaganize n’komwe zoti iwo apirira mavuto ambiri.

Choyamba, pamene mwana wawo wachisamba Michelle anali ndi zaka ziŵiri, Braam ndi Ann anauzidwa kuti iye ali ndi nthenda yaikulu yotengera mwachibadwa imene imafooketsa minofu.

Ann, yemwe ndi mayi ake a mtsikanayo anafotokoza kuti, “mwadzidzidzi, umayenera kuphunzira mmene ungachitire kuti upirire ndi nthenda yaikulu yofooketsayi. Umadziŵa kuti moyo wabanja zaterepa udzasintha kwambiri.”

Komabe atabereka mwana wina wamkazi ndi wamwamuna, vuto lowonjezereka linagweranso banjali. Tsiku lina ana atatuwo anali kuseŵera panja, kenako ana aakazi aŵiriwo anathamangira m’nyumba uku akulira. “Mayi! Mayi! Bwerani msanga. Neil sali bwino!”

Atatuluka, Ann anaona mutu wa Neil yemwe anali ndi zaka zitatu uli khoba! Iye anali kulephera kuudzutsa.

Ann akukumbukira kuti, “ndinangoti kakasi kusoŵa chochita, ndipo nthaŵi yomweyo ndinazindikira vutolo. Zinandiŵaŵa mumtima podziŵa kuti mwana wamng’ono wathanzi ngati ameneyu adzakhalanso ndi vuto lomwelo la nthenda yofooketsa minofu yomwe inagwira mlongo wake wamkulu.”

“Chisangalalo choti tayamba moyo wabanja tili athanzi, posakhalitsa chinaloŵedwa m’malo ndi mavuto osaneneka amene sitinakumanepo nawo n’kalelonse,” anatero a Braam womwe ndi bambo a m’banjali.

M’kupita kwanthaŵi Michelle, ngakhale kuti amalandira thandizo lamankhwala labwino koposa, anamwalira chifukwa cha matenda ena obwera chifukwa cha nthenda yakeyo. Panthaŵiyo n’kuti ali ndi zaka 14 zokha basi. Neil akupitirizabe kulimbana ndi mavuto a nthenda yakeyo.

Zimenezi zikubweretsa funso lakuti, Kodi mabanja onga ngati la a Du Toit angapirire motani mavuto okhala ndi banja la anthu odwala matenda aakulu? Kuti tiyankhe funso limeneli, tiyeni tione njira zina zimene matenda aakulu amakhudzira mabanja.

Matenda Aakulu Ndi Nkhani ya Banja Lonse

KODI matenda aakulu n’chiyani? Mwachidule, ndi matenda amene amakhala kwanthaŵi yaitali. Kuwonjezera apo, pulofesa wina anafotokoza kuti “ndi matenda amene sangachiritsidwe ndi opaleshoni wamba kapena chithandizo chamankhwala chachidule.” Chimene chimachititsa matenda aakulu kapena zotsatira zake kukhala zovutitsa si mtundu wamatenda wokha kapena chithandizo chake chokha ayi, komanso n’chifukwa chakuti amafuna kuwapirira kwanthaŵi yaitali.

Komanso, zotsatira zamatenda aakulu nthaŵi zambiri sizikhudza wodwala yekhayo. Buku lakuti Motor Neurone Disease—A Family Affair limati, “Anthu ambiri amakhala m’mabanja ndipo amene [ukudwalawe] m’banjamo ukamamva ululu ndiponso ukamada nkhaŵa, onse ali pafupi nawe amateronso.” Mayi amene mwana wake ankadwala matenda a kansa anatsimikizira zimenezi. Iye anati, “aliyense m’banjamo amakhala wokhudzidwa basi, kaya achite kuonetsera kukhudzidwako kapena ayi, kaya adziŵe za vutolo kaya asadziŵe.”

N’zoona kuti, aliyense sangakhudzidwe m’njira yofanana. Komabe, ngati a m’banjalo akudziŵa mmene matenda aakulu amakhudzira anthu ena onse, iwo angadzakhale okonzekera bwinopo kuthana ndi mavuto alionse obwera ndi matendawo. Komanso, anthu ena akunja kwa banja lathu monga anzathu akuntchito, anzathu akusukulu, achinansi, ngakhalenso mabwenzi, angathe kuthandiza ndiponso kuchirikiza mokoma mtima ngati akumvetsa kusautsa kwa matenda aakulu. Poganizira zimenezi, tiyeni tione mmene matenda aakulu angakhudzire mabanja m’njira zina.

Ulendo Wodutsa M’dziko Lachilendo

Zinthu zomwe zingachitikire banja chifukwa cha matenda aakulu zingafanizidwe ndi ulendo wabanjalo wodutsa m’dziko lachilendo. Ngakhale kuti zinthu zina zingakhale zofanana ndi za m’dziko lakwawo, zina zingakhale zachilendo kapena mwina zosiyana kwambiri. Matenda aakulu akagwira munthu m’banja, zinthu zambiri sizisintha m’moyo wabanja. Komabe, zina zingasinthe kwambiri.

Choyamba, matendawo pawokha angasokoneze chizoloŵezi cha m’banjamo ndiponso kukakamiza aliyense m’banjamo kusintha zochita zake kuti athe kupirira. Mtsikana wina wazaka 14 dzina lake Helen amene amayi ake akudwala kwambiri matenda aakulu ovutika maganizo anatsimikizira mfundo imeneyi. Iye anati: “Timasintha ndondomeko ya zochita zathu potsatira zimene amayi angathe kapena sangathe kuchita patsikulo.”

Ngakhale mankhwala okonzedwa kuti achiritse matendawo angasokoneze chizoloŵezi chatsopano cha banjalo mowonjezereka. Taganizirani chitsanzo cha a Braam ndi Ann omwe tawatchula m’nkhani yam’mbuyo ija. “Tinayenera kusintha zinthu zikuluzikulu pamoyo wathu wa tsiku ndi tsiku chifukwa cha mankhwala a ana athu,” anatero Braam. Ann analongosola kuti: “Tinali kupita kuchipatala tsiku lililonse. Kenako, kuwonjezera pamenepo, dokotala anatilangiza kuti anawo tiziwapatsa chakudya chapang’ono kasanu n’kamodzi patsiku kuti asadwale matenda osoŵa zakudya obwera chifukwa cha matendawo. Kwa ine, kuphika kotero kunali chinthu chatsopano zedi.” Vuto linanso lalikulu kwambiri linali kuthandiza anawo kuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi, monga adanenera dokotala. Ann anakumbukira motere: “Imeneyi, inali ntchito ya tsiku ndi tsiku imene sindinali kuifuna”.

Wodwalayo akayamba kuzoloŵera kuwawa kwa matendawo, kapena kwa chithandizo chamankhwala ndiponso kufufuza kwa azachipatala, iye amadalira banja kwambiri kuti lim’thandize ndiponso kum’limbitsa mtima. Motero, anthu a m’banjamo ayenera kuphunzira njira zatsopano zosamalira wodwalayo komanso ayenera kudziŵa kuti onse ali okakamizika kusintha maganizo awo, moyo wawo, ndiponso zizoloŵezi zawo.

Mwachionekere, zinthu zonsezi zimafuna kuti banjalo lipirire kwambiri. Mayi amene mwana wake wodwala kansa ankalandira chithandizo chamankhwala m’chipatala anavomereza kuti “zimakhala zotopetsa kwambiri kuposa mmene wina aliyense angaganizire.”

Kupitirizabe Kusadziŵa Chomwe Chichitike

“Matenda aakulu amasinthasintha ndipo amachititsa mantha chifukwa sudziŵa chomwe chichitike,” limatero buku lakuti Coping With Chronic Illness—Overcoming Powerlessness. Pamene anthu a m’banjamo akusintha zochita zawo chifukwa cha vuto lina, nthaŵi yomweyo angakumanenso ndi mavuto amtundu wina ndiponso mwina osautsa kwambiri. Zizindikiro za matenda ena zimakhala zosinthasintha mwinanso zingafike poipa kwambiri mwadzidzidzi ndipo mankhwala omwe m’mayembekezera kuti wodwala akamwa akhalako bwino angalephere kuthandiza. Mwina mankhwalawo angafunike kusinthidwa nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi kapena mwina angayambitse matenda ena osayembekezereka. Pamene wodwala wafika podalira kwambiri chichirikizo chimene banja losoŵa pogwiralo lingayesetse kupereka, maganizo amene m’mbuyomu m’mawaletsa angatuluke mwadzidzidzi.

Chifukwa cha kusadziŵa chochita ndi matenda ambirimbiri ndiponso chithandizo chake pamabwera mafunso monga awa: Kodi zoterezi zidzapitirira mpaka liti? Kodi matendaŵa adzafika poipa motani? Kodi zimenezi tingazipirire kufikira pati? Matenda akayakaya nthaŵi zambiri amaganizitsa zoiŵaliratu zamoyo n’kumafunsa kuti: “Kodi wodwalayo adzavutika kwanthaŵi yaitali bwanji asanamwalire?”

Matendawo, njira zoperekera chithandizo chamankhwala, kutopa, ndiponso kusadziŵa chomwe chichitike zonse pamodzi zimadzetsanso vuto lina losayembekezereka.

Mavuto Okhudza Kakhalidwe

“Ndinali kuganiza kwambiri n’kumadziona ngati ndili ndekhandekha ndiponso womangika,” anafotokoza motero Kathleen, yemwe mwamuna wake ankadwala matenda aakulu wovutika maganizo. Iye akupitiriza kuti, “zinthu zinali zovuta zedi, chifukwa chakuti sitinathe n’komwe kuitana anzathu kudzatichezera kapena kuvomera ena akatiitana kwawo. M’kupita kwanthaŵi, tinasiiratu kucheza ndi anzathu.” Mofanana ndi Kathleen, anthu ambiri mapeto ake amayeneranso kupirira malingaliro odziimba mlandu chifukwa cholephera kuchereza alendo ndiponso kuvomera akaitanidwa. N’chifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika?

Matendawo pawokha kapena matenda ena obwera chifukwa cha matendawo angachititse kucheza ndi anzathu kukhala kovuta kapena mwinanso kosatheka n’komwe. Banja ndiponso wodwalayo angaganize kuti matendawo n’ngwosakhala nawo pagulu kapena angaope kuti mwina n’ngwochititsa manyazi. Kuvutika maganizo kungachititse wodwalayo kudziona ngati wosafunika kwa anzake akale, kapena mwina anthu a m’banjamo angakhale ofooka kwakuti sangaganizeko zokacheza. Pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, m’posavuta kuti matenda aakulu achititse banja lonse kukhala lopatukana ndi ena ndiponso losukidwa.

Kuwonjezera apo, si aliyense amene angadziŵe zoti alankhule kapena mmene angachitire akakhala pafupi ndi wodwala. (Onani bokosi lakuti “Mmene Mungathandizire” patsamba 19.) “Mwana wanu akakhala wosiyana ndi ana ena, anthu ambiri amakonda kumuyang’anitsitsa ndipo amalankhula zopusa,” anatero Ann. “Kwenikweni, umadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha matendawo, ndipo zolankhula zawozo zingawonjezere maganizo ako wodziona ngati wolakwa.” Zimene Ann ananena zikukhudza chinthu china chimene mabanja angakumane nacho.

Maganizo Amene Amawononga

“Panthaŵi yopima matenda, mabanja ambiri amadzidzimuka, sakhulupirira, ndiponso savomereza,” anatero wofufuza wina. “Zimakhala zovuta zedi kuzipirira.” N’zoonadi, kudziŵa kuti wokondedwa ali ndi matenda oika moyo pachiswe kapena ofooketsa kungakhale koŵaŵa. Banja lingaganize kuti chiyembekezo chawo ndiponso malingaliro awo onse a m’tsogolo afera m’mazira, chatsala ndicho tsogolo losatsimikizika, chisoni ndiponso kudandaula kwambiri kuti atsala okha.

N’zoonadi kuti mabanja ambiri amene akhalapo ndi munthu wokhala ndi vuto linalake losautsa maganizo kwa nthaŵi yaitali koma osadziŵa chomwe chaliyambitsa, angakhazike mtima pansi wodwalayo akamuyeza n’kupeza vuto lake. Komabe mabanja ena sangatero ngati wina am’peza ndi matenda. Mayi wina ku South Africa anavomereza kuti: “Zinandipweteka kwambiri pamapeto pake pamene ndinauzidwa vuto lenileni la ana athu, moti kunena chilungamo, n’kadakonda n’kadapanda kumva zotsatira za kupimako.”

Buku lakuti A Special Child in the Family—Living With Your Sick or Disabled Child limafotokoza kuti “n’kwachibadwa kuvutika maganizo . . . pamene mukusintha kuti mugwirizane ndi vuto limene langobweralo. Nthaŵi zina m’maganiza kwambiri mwakuti m’mada nkhaŵa kuti mwina simungathe kupirira.” Mlembi wa bukuli amene dzina lake ndi Diana Kimpton, yemwe ana ake aamuna aŵiri ankadwala matenda aakulu otchedwa cystic fibrosis amene ali otengera kumakolo anasimba kuti: “Ndinali kuopa maganizo anga omwe ndipo ndinafunikira kudziŵa kuti kudandaula sikulakwa.”

Si zachilendo kuti mabanja aziopa—kuopa zosadziŵika, kuopa matendawo, kuopa mankhwala, kuopa ululu, ndiponso kuopa imfa. Makamaka ana angaope zinthu zambirimbiri mopanda kuzitchula, makamaka ngati sanauzidwe bwino zimene zikuchitika.

Anthu ambiri amakwiyanso. Magazini ya ku South Africa yotchedwa TLC inafotokoza kuti, “wodwala nthaŵi zambiri amakwiyira anthu a m’banja lake.” Anthu a m’banjamo nawo angakwiyire dokotala chifukwa cholephera kuzindikira vutolo mwamsanga, angakwiyirane okhaokha chifukwa chom’patsira mwanayo matenda achibadwa, angakwiyire wodwalayo chifukwa chosadzisamalira bwino, angakwiyire Satana Mdyerekezi chifukwa choyambitsa mavuto otero, komanso angakwiyire Mulungu amene poganiza kuti ndiye wachititsa matendawo. Maganizo ena ofala obwera chifukwa cha matenda aakulu ndiwo kudziona monga wolakwa. “Pafupifupi kholo lililonse kapena mwana aliyense wa m’banja lomwe muli mwana amene akudwala kansa amadziona kukhala wolakwa,” limatero buku lakuti Children With Cancer—A Comprehensive Reference Guide for Parents.

Kuganiza kwambiri chonchi nthaŵi zambiri kumachititsa kuvutika maganizo kwambiri kapena pang’ono. “Mwina awa ndiwo maganizo ofala kwambiri amene anthu amakhala nawo chifukwa cha matenda aakulu,” analemba motero wofufuza wina. “Ndikusunga makalata ambiri otsimikiza zimenezi.”

Inde, Mabanja Angapirire

Chosangalatsa n’chakuti, mabanja ambiri aona kuti kupirira zochitika zotero sikuti n’kovuta monga zimaonekera poyamba. “Zinthu sizikhala zovuta monga momwe mungaganizire,” anatsimikiza motero Diana Kimpton. Polankhula zimene zinam’chitikira, iye anaona kuti “tsogolo sikuti limakhala loipa kwenikweni monga mungaganizire m’masiku oyambirira.” Dziŵani kuti mabanja ena apulumuka paulendo wawo wodutsa m’dziko lachilendo la matenda aakulu ndipo dziŵani kuti inunso mungatero. Anthu ena aona kuti kungodziŵa kokha kuti ena anapirira kumawapatsa mpumulo ndiponso chiyembekezo.

Komabe, banja lingafunse moyenerera kuti, Kodi tingapirire bwanji? Nkhani yotsatira idzafotokoza njira zina zimene mabanja ena atsatira kuti apirire matenda aakulu.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 13]

Mabanja afunika kusamala wodwala komanso kusintha mmene amaonera zinthu, maganizo awo, ndi moyo wawo

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 14]

Wodwalayo ndiponso anthu a m’banjamo angavutike pomaganiza kwambiri

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 15]

Musataye mtima. Mabanja ena apirira. Inunso mungatero

[Bokosi patsamba 15]

Mavuto Ena Obwera ndi Matenda Aakulu

• Kudziŵa za matendawo ndiponso mmene mungapiririre

• Kusintha moyo ndiponso zizoloŵezi za tsiku ndi tsiku

• Kupirira ndi kusintha kwa mmene munkakhalira ndi anzanu

• Kukhalabe monga mwa masiku onse ndiponso kudziletsa.

• Kumva chisoni poganizira zinthu zomwe mwataya chifukwa cha matendawo

• Kupirira maganizo osautsa

• Kukhalabe ndi malingaliro abwino

Mmene Mabanja Amapiririra Matenda Aakulu

KUPIRIRA kungatanthauzidwe monga “mphamvu yokhoza kugonjetsa ndiponso kuthana ndi kuvutika maganizo komwe munthu ali nako.” (Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary) Kumatanthauzanso kuthana ndi mavuto a matenda aakulu m’njira yoti mukhoza kuwalamulira ndiponso kukhala paufulu m’maganizo. Ndiponso poganizira kuti matenda aakulu ndi nkhani yokhudza banja, kuti banjalo lipirire mwachipambano m’pofunika kuti aliyense wa m’banjalo achirikize mwachikondi ndiponso mokhulupirika. Tiyeni tione njira zina zimene mabanja amapiririra matenda aakulu.

Kudziŵa N’kofunika

Mwina sikungatheke kuchiza matendawo, komabe kudziŵa mmene mungapiririre kungachepetse kudandaula. Zimenezi n’zogwirizana ndi mwambi wakale umene umati: “Munthu wodziŵa ankabe nalimba.” (Miyambo 24:5) Kodi banja lingadziŵe bwanji mmene lingapiririre?

Choyamba pezani dokotala wochezeka ndiponso wothandizadi, wofunitsitsa kuti azifotokoza zonse bwinobwino kwa wodwalayo ndiponso kwa banja lake. “Dokotala woyenera amaganizira za banja lonselo ndiponso amadziŵa njira zonse zochizira matendawo,” limatero buku lakuti A Special Child in the Family.

Chachiŵiri ndicho kumafunsa mafunso olunjika mpaka mutamvetsa bwino za matendawo. Komabe, kumbukirani kuti pamene muli ndi dokotala, n’kwapafupi kukhala womangika n’kuiŵala zomwe m’mafuna kufunsa. Njira ina yothandiza ndiyo kulemberatu mafunso. Makamaka, mungafune kudziŵa kuti matendawo angafike potani ndiponso kuti mungawachize bwanji komanso kuti mungachite chiyani pankhaniyi.—Onani bokosi lakuti “Mafunso Amene Banja Lingafunse Dokotala.”

N’kofunika kwambiri kuti muwadziŵitse bwino lomwe abale ake a bele limodzi a mwana wodwala matenda aakuluyo. “Fotokozani vuto lake kuyambira masiku oyambirira omwewo,” anatero mayi wina. “Iwo angaganize mosavuta kuti sakuŵerengeredwa m’banjalo ngati sakudziŵa chimene chikuchitika.”

Mabanja ena apezanso chidziŵitso chothandiza mwa kufufuza m’mabuku opezeka m’nyumba yosungira mabuku yakwawoko, m’nyumba yogulitsira mabuku, kapenanso pa intaneti. Nthaŵi zambiri akhala akupeza chidziŵitso chatsatanetsatane cha matenda amene akuwafufuza.

Kukhalabe ndi Moyo Wabwino Ndithu

Anthu a m’banja amafuna kuti wodwala akhalebe ndi moyo wabwino ndipo ichi n’chibadwa. Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani za Neil du Toit yemwe tam’tchula m’nkhani yoyamba ija. Matenda ake amamufooketsa ndipo amathedwabe nzeru ndi zimenezi. Komabe, iye amachita ntchito imene amasangalala nayo kwambiri kwa maola 70 pamwezi, ntchito yolankhula ndi anthu a m’dera limene akukhala za chiyembekezo chake cha m’Baibulo. Iye anati, “Chinanso chimene chimandikhutiritsa ndicho kupereka malangizo a m’Baibulo mumpingo.”

Munthu akakhala ndi moyo wabwino amakhozanso kusonyeza ndiponso kulandira chikondi, kugwira ntchito yosangalatsa, ndiponso kukhalabe ndi chiyembekezo. Odwala angakondebe kusangalala ndi moyo nthaŵi iliyonse imene akupezako bwino panthaŵi imene akulandira chithandizoyo. Bambo wina amene banja lake lapirira matenda kwazaka zoposa 25 anafotokoza kuti: “Timakonda kuyenda kwabasi, koma chifukwa chakuti mwana wathu sangathe kutero, sitipita kutali. Choncho timachita mwanjira ina. Timapita kumalo osavuta kuyenda.”

Inde, odwala amapezanso mphamvu zomwe zimawatheketsa kukhala okhutira ndi moyo kumlingo winawake. Malinga ndi matenda ake, odwala ambiri angayamikirebe zinthu zokongola ndiponso mawu okoma. Akamaona kuti akudzilamulira okha pa zinthu zosiyanasiyana m’moyo wawo, ndiye kuti n’zotheka kuti adzakhalanso ndi moyo wabwino.

Kuthana ndi Maganizo Osautsa

Mbali ina yofunika popirira ndiyo kudziŵa mmene mungaletsere maganizo osautsa. Mkwiyo uli umodzi mwa maganizo oterewo. Baibulo limavomereza kuti munthu angakhale ndi zifukwa zokwiyira. Komabe, limatilimbikitsa kuti “wosakwiya msanga.” (Miyambo 14:29) Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani kuli kwanzeru kuchita zimenezi? Malinga ndi zimene buku lamaumboni lina limanena, mkwiyo “ungakuvulazeni pang’onopang’ono ndiponso kukusungitsani chakukhosi kapena kukulankhulitsani zinthu zopweteka zimene potsiriza pake mudzanong’oneza nazo bondo.” Ngakhale kukwiya kamodzi kokha kungawononge zinthu zimene zingatenge nthaŵi yaitali kuzikonzanso.

Baibulo limalamulira kuti “dzuŵa lisaloŵe muli chikwiyire.” (Aefeso 4:26) N’zodziŵikiratu, kuti palibe chomwe tingachite kuti tichedwetse kuloŵa kwa dzuŵa. Komabe pali njira zomwe tingatsate kuti tichotse mkwiyo mwamsanga kotero kuti usapitirire kutiwononga ifeyo kapena ena. Ndipotu mungathetse bwinopo nkhani inayake ngati mutakhazika mtima pansi.

Mofanana ndi banja lina lililonse, banja lanulo mosakayika lidzakhala ndi mavuto komanso mtendere. Ena amaona kuti angapirire bwinopo atauzana okhaokha kapena atauza munthu wina wachifundo ndi wokoma mtima. Zimenezi n’zimene anachita Kathleen. Iye poyamba ankasamala amayi ake amene ankadwala kansa, ndipo kenako anasamala mwamuna wake amene ankadwala matenda aakulu ovutitsa maganizo yemwenso m’kupita kwanthaŵi anadzadwala matenda otchedwa Alzheimer. Iye anavomereza kuti: “Zinali kunditsitsimula ndiponso kunditonthoza n’kamalankhula ndi mabwenzi omvetsa.” Rosemary, amene ankasamalira amayi ake kwa zaka ziŵiri, akuvomerezana nazo. Iye anati, “kulankhula ndi bwenzi losabisa mawu, kunandithandiza kukhalabe ndi maganizo abwino.”

Komabe, pamene mukulankhula, musadabwe ngati mukulephera kuletsa misozi kutsika. Kulira kumachotsa kuvutika maganizo ndiponso ululu, komanso kumakuthandizani kuthetsa chisoni chanu,” limatero buku lakuti A Special Child in the Family.a

Khalanibe ndi Chiyembekezo

“Mtima wanu wofuna kukhalabe ndi moyo ungakulimbikitseni mukadwala,” inalemba motero Mfumu yanzeruyo Solomo. (Miyambo 18:14, Today’s English Version) Ofufuza amakono apeza kuti zomwe wodwala amayembekezera, kaya zikhale zosangalatsa kapena zokhumudwitsa, nthaŵi zambiri zimakhudza zotsatira za chithandizo chamankhwala chomwe akulandira. Komabe, kodi banja lingakhalebe lolimbikitsa motani litakumana ndi matenda aakulu okhalitsa.

Ngakhale kuti sakunyalanyaza matendawo, mabanja amapirira bwinopo ngati akulimbikira pazinthu zimene akukwanitsabe kuchita. Bambo wina anavomereza ponena kuti: “Zochitika pa matendawo zingakukhumudwitseni kwambiri, komabe muyenera kudziŵa kuti mudakali ndi zinthu zina zambiri zosangalatsa. Ndinu amoyobe, muli pamodzibe, ndiponso muli ndi mabwezi anube.”

Ngakhale kuti matenda aakulu safunika kuwatenga mwachibwanabwana, nthabwala zosangalatsa zimathandiza kupewa mzimu wotaya chiyembekezo. Kukonda nthabwala kwa anthu a m’banja la Du Toit kukusonyeza mfundoyi. Collette, yemwe ndi mlongo wake wa Neil du Toit wam’ng’ono kwambiri, anafotokoza kuti: “Chifukwa chakuti tinaphunzira kupirira zochitika zina, timatha kuseka zinthu zina zimene zatichitikira zomwe kwa ena zingaoneke ngati zokhumudwitsa kwambiri. Komabe kuchita zimenezi kumathandizadi kuchotsa kuvutika maganizo.” Baibulo limatitsimikizira kuti “mtima wosekerera uchiritsa bwino.”—Miyambo 17:22.

Zinthu Zauzimu Zofunika Koposa

Chinthu chofunika kwambiri pachikhalidwe chauzimu cha Akristu oona chimaphatikizapo ‘kulola kuti zopempha zawo zidziŵike kwa Mulungu mwapemphero pamodzi ndi pembedzero.’ Zotsatira zake ndizo zimene Baibulo limalonjeza, zakuti: “Mtendere wa Mulungu wakupambana chidziŵitso chonse, udzasunga mitima yanu ndi maganizo anu.” (Afilipi 4:6, 7) Atalera ana aŵiri odwala matenda aakulu kwa zaka 30, mayi wina anati: “Tadziŵa kuti Yehova amathandiza munthu kupirira. Iye amakulimbikitsadi.”

Komanso, ambiri amalimbikitsidwa ndi malonjezo a Baibulo a dziko lapansi la paradaiso lopanda choŵaŵitsa ndiponso mavuto. (Chivumbulutso 21:3, 4) “Chifukwa cha matenda aakulu amene banja lathu lakumana nawo, timaona kuti malonjezo a Mulungu akuti ‘wopunduka adzatumpha ngati nswala, ndi lilime la wosalankhula lidzaimba amatanthauza zinthu zambiri kwa ife.’” Mofanana ndi anthu ena ambiri, banja la a Du Toit likulakalaka kwambiri nthaŵiyo m’Paradaiso pamene “wokhalamo sadzanena, ine ndidwala.”—Yesaya 33:24; 35:6.

Khazikani mtima pansi. Zoŵaŵa ndiponso mavuto amene akupondereza anthu ali pa iwo okha chizindikiro chakuti mikhalidwe yabwino yayandikira. (Luka 21:7, 10, 11) Komabe, padakali pano, anthu ambiri osamala ena ndiponso odwala angachitire umboni kuti Yehova alidi “Atate wa zifundo ndi Mulungu wa chitonthozo chonse, wotitonthoza ife m’nsautso yathu yonse.”—2 Akorinto 1:3, 4.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 16]

Mafunso Amene Banja Lingafunse Dokotala

• Kodi matendawo adzakula motani, ndipo kodi chidzachitike n’chiyani?

• Kodi padzakhala zizindikiro zotani ndipo kodi tingadzathane nazo bwanji?

• Kodi pali njira zina zotani zothandizira wodwalayo?

• Kodi njira zimenezi zili ndi mavuto, ngozi, ndiponso ubwino wotani?

• Kodi mungachite chiyani kuti matendawo akhaleko bwino, ndiponso muyenera kusachita chiyani?

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 19]

Mmene Mungathandizire

Anthu ena angalephere kucheza kapena kuthandiza ena chifukwa chakuti sakudziŵa zimene anganene kapena mmene angachitire ndi nkhaniyo. Ena angachite zinthu monyanyira, ndipo mwa kulamula ena kuchita zimene iwo amaona kuti n’zothandiza, angawonjezere vuto la banjalo. Ndiyeno, kodi munthu angathandize bwanji anthu amene ali ndi banja limene anthu ake akudwala matenda aakulu popanda kuloŵerera m’nkhani zawo?

Mvetserani Monga Kuti ndi Vuto Lanu. Yakobo 1:19 amati, ‘khalani wotchera khutu.’ Sonyezani kukhudzidwa mwa kukhala womvetsera wabwino ndiponso kulola anthu a m’banjalo kuti atulutse zakukhosi ngati iwo akufuna kulankhulapo. Iwo angafunitsitse kwambiri kuchita zimenezi ngati ataona kuti inuyo ‘mukuwachitira chifundo.’ (1 Petro 3:8) Komabe, kumbukirani kuti, anthu aŵiri kapena mabanja aŵiri osiyana sangachite zinthu zolingana pa matenda aakulu omwe awagwira. Choncho, “musawalangize pokhapokha ngati mukudziŵadi zonse zokhudza matendawo kapena mmene zinthu zilili,” anatero Kathleen, yemwe ankasamala amayi ake ndipo kenako mwamuna wake yemwe ankadwala matenda aakulu. (Miyambo 10:19) Komanso kumbukirani kuti, ngakhale mutadziŵa zinazake zokhudza matendawo, wodwalayo ndi banja lake mwina sangafune kufunsira kapena kulandira malangizo anu.

Perekani thandizo lenileni. Poganizira za kufunika kwa kusaloŵerera m’nkhani zabanjalo, khalani pamodzi ndi banjalo panthaŵi imene iwo akufunadi kuti mukhalepo. (1 Akorinto 10:24) Braam, yemwe mawu ake takhala tikuwalemba m’nkhani zino ananena kuti: “Anzathu achikristu anatithandiza kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, titakagona kuchipatala chifukwa cha kukula kwa matenda a Michelle, nthaŵi zonse tinkakhala limodzi ndi anzathu okwana anayi kapena mpaka asanu ndi m’modzi usiku wonse. Nthaŵi iliyonse tikafuna thandizo, tinkalipeza.” Ann yemwe ndi mkazi wa Braam, anawonjezera kuti: “Inali nyengo yozizira kwambiri, ndipo kwa milungu iŵiri tinali kupatsidwa chakudya chosiyanasiyana tsiku ndi tsiku. Tinalimbikitsidwa mwa kudya chakudya chotentha ndiponso kusonyezedwa chikondi chosaneneka.”

Pempherani nawo pamodzi. Nthaŵi zina, sipakhala zinthu zambiri zoti ungachite pothandiza, kapenanso pamakhala palibiretu. Komabe, chimodzi mwa zinthu zolimbikitsa kwambiri ndicho kugaŵana nawo mfundo inayake yolimbikitsa ya m’Malemba, kapena kupemphera moona mtima ndi odwalawo pamodzi ndi mabanja awo. (Yakobo 5:16) “Musanyalanyaze mphamvu ya kuwapempherera ndiponso kupemphera nawo odwala matenda aakulu pamodzi ndi mabanja awo,” anatero Nicolas wazaka 18, amene mayi ake akudwala matenda aakulu ovutika maganizo.

Ndithudi, chichirikizo choyenera chingathandize kwambiri mabanja kupirira mavuto a matenda aakulu. Baibulo limanena zimenezi motere: “Bwenzi limakonda nthaŵi zonse; ndipo mbale anabadwira kuti akuthandize pooneka tsoka.”—Miyambo 17:17.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 20]

Matendawo Akafika Pakayakaya

Mabanja ena angamakayikekayike kukambirana za kuyandikira kwa imfa ya wokondedwa wawo amene akudwala mwakayakaya. Komabe, buku lakuti Caring—How to Cope limanena kuti “ngati mukudziŵapo kanthu kokhudza zimene mungayembekezere ndiponso zimene muyenera kuchita, zingakuchotseni mantha.” Ngakhale kuti zoti muchite kwenikweni zingasiyanesiyane malinga ndi malamulo ndiponso miyambo yakumaloko, naŵa malingaliro ena amene banja lingafune pamene likusamalira wokondedwa yemwe akudwala mwakayakaya.

Nthaŵi Idakalipo

1. Funsani dokotala zimene mungayembekezere munthuyo akatsala madzi amodzi ndiponso zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati wodwalayo atatsirizika pakati pa usiku.

2. Lembani mayina a anthu omwe adzafunika kuwadziŵitsa za imfayo.

3. Kambiranani mmene mwambo wa maliro udzayendere:

• Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene wodwalayo akufuna?

• Kodi akufuna kuti mtembo wake mudzawuike m’manda kapena mudzautenthe? Yerekezerani mtengo ndiponso ntchito za anthu osiyanasiyana oyendetsa mwambo wamaliro.

• Kodi mwambo wamalirowo udzachitike liti? Perekani mpata kuti anthu akonze mayendedwe.

• Kodi ndani adzayendetsa mwambo wamaliro?

• Kodi udzachitikira kuti?

4. Ngakhale wodwalayo atafooka kwambiri, iye angadziŵebe zimene zikulankhulidwa kapena kuchitidwa pafupi naye. Samalani kuti musalankhule kanthu kalikonse pamaso pake kamene mukufuna kuti iye asamve. Mwina mungafune kumulimbikitsa pomamuuza tinkhani ndiponso pofumbata dzanja lake.

Pamene Wokondedwa Uja Amwalira

Nazi zinthu zina zimene ena angachite kuti athandize banjalo:

1. Lolani banja lofedwalo kuti likhale lokha ndi wakufayo kwakanthaŵi ndithu n’cholinga choti lizoloŵere imfayo.

2. Pempherani pamodzi ndi banjalo.

3. Pamene a m’banjalo angafune, angayamikire kuwathandiza podziŵitsa anthu awa:

• Dokotala kuti achitire umboni za imfayo ndiponso kupereka chikalata chaumboni waimfa.

• Woyendetsa mwambo wamaliro, anthu akunyumba yachisoni kapena akunyumba yotenthera mitembo, kuti asamale mtembowo.

• Achibale ndi mabwenzi. (Mwina mungayankhule mwachikulu ponena kuti: “Ndikukuimbirani foniyi malinga ndi nkhani ya wodwala uja [tchulani dzina la wodwalayo]. Pepani kuti nkhani yake siyabwino ayi. Monga mukudziŵa, iye wakhala akudwala [tchulani matenda omwe ankadwala] kwakanthaŵi ndithu ndipo wamwalira [tchulani tsiku limene anamwalira ndi malo].)

• Mungauzenso amanyuzipepala kuti afalitse za imfayo ngati n’koyenera kutero.

4. Banja lofedwalo lingafune kuuza munthu wina kuti alithandize kulongosola mwambo wonse wamalirowo.

[Chithunzi patsamba 17]

Anthu a m’banjamo ayenera kuyesetsa mmene angathere kukhalabe ndi moyo wabwino

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Kupemphera pamodzi ndi a m’banjamo kungawathandize kuti apirire