Kodi Nchitamando Kapena Kusyasyalika?

WINAWAKE akunena zotsatirazi kwa inu, “Komatu ndiye lero wapesa bwino!” Kodi chimenecho nchitamando kapena kusyasyalika? “Suti imeneyo ikukukhala bwino kwambiri!” Chitamando kapena kusyasyalika? “Sindinadyepo chakudya chokoma ngati ichi!” Kodi chimenecho nchitamando chenicheni kapena kusyasyalika? Pamene wina atithokoza motere, tingafune kudziŵa ngati akutithokoza moonadi kapena ngati angofuna kutisangalatsa osakhala zimenedi wolankhulayo akulingalira.

Kodi tingadziŵe bwanji kuti zimene munthu akunena nzotamandadi kapena zosyasyalika? Kodi zimenezo zilidi nkanthu? Kodi sitingangovomereza zimene akunenazo malinga wazinena ndi kusangalala nazo? Nanga bwanji pamene tipereka chitamando kwa ena? Kodi tinayesapo kupenda malingaliro athu? Kulingalira za mafunso ameneŵa kungatithandize kukhala ozindikira ndi kugwiritsira ntchito lilime lathu m’njira imene imapereka chitamando kwa Yehova Mulungu.

Matanthauzo a Chitamando ndi Kusyasyalika

Chitamando chinatanthauzidwa ndi dikishonale ya Webster kuti ndi mawu osonyeza chivomerezo kapena chiyamikiro, ndipo mawuwo angatanthauzenso kulambira kapena kulemekeza. Mwachionekere matanthauzo aŵiri omalizirawo akufotokoza za chitamando chimene chimalunjikitsidwa kwa Yehova Mulungu yekha. Imeneyi ndi mbali yofunika ya kulambira koona, monga momwe wamasalmo wouziridwayo analangizira kuti: “Pakuti . . . nkokoma; pakuti chikondwetsa ichi, chilemekezo chiyenera.” “Zonse zakupuma zilemekeze Yehova.”​—Salmo 147:1; 150:6.

Komabe, zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti anthu sangatamandidwe. Akhoza kutamandidwa, mwa kuyamikira, kuvomereza, kapena kuthokoza. M’fanizo la Yesu, mbuye akuuza kapolo wake kuti: “Chabwino, kapolo iwe wabwino ndi wokhulupirika.”​—Mateyu 25:21.

Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, kusyasyalika ndiko chitamando chonyenga, chosaona mtima kapena chopambanitsa, ndipo wotamandayo nthaŵi zambiri amakhala ndi malingaliro adyera. Kutamanda mwamachenjera kapena mosyasyalika kumachitika ncholinga chopeza chiyanjo kapena kupatsidwa zinthu zina ndi munthu wina kapena ncholinga chakuti munthu amene akutamandidwayo azipereka chisamaliro chapadera kwa womtamandayo. Choncho, anthu otamanda mosyasyalika amachita zimenezo chifukwa chadyera. Malinga nkunena kwa Yuda 16, iwo ndiwo “okonzeka kutamanda anthu pamene aona kuti pali kanthu kena kopindulitsa.”​—The Jerusalem Bible.

Lingaliro la m’Malemba

Kodi lingaliro la m’Malemba la kutamanda anthu anzathu nlotani? Yehova anapereka chitsanzo choti tichitsanzire pankhani imeneyi. M’Baibulo timauzidwa kuti ngati tichita chifuniro cha Yehova tidzatamandidwa. Mtumwi Paulo akuti “yense adzakhala nawo uyamiko wake wa [“nacho chitamando chochokera,” NW] kwa Mulungu.” Petro akutiuza kuti chikhulupiriro chathu choyesedwa ‘chingapezedwe chochitira chiyamiko.’ Choncho, popeza kuti Yehova adzatamanda anthu zikusonyeza kuti kupereka chitamando chenicheni kumasonyeza kukoma mtima, chikondi, ndiponso ndi chinthu chopindulitsa, chinthu chimene sichiyenera kuonedwa mopepuka.​—1 Akorinto 4:5; 1 Petro 1:7.

Malinga nkunena kwa Baibulo, tingathenso kutamandidwa ndi maulamuliro a boma pamene iwo aona makhalidwe athu abwino ndi kutiyamika moonadi mtima. Tikuuzidwa kuti “Chita chabwino, ndipo udzalandira kutama mmenemo.” (Aroma 13:3) Tingatamandidwenso ndi anthu amene akukhulupiriradi moona mtima zimene ifeyo tikunena ndiponso amene akutitamanda popanda zolinga zilizonse zobisika. Pa Miyambo 27:2 Malemba ouziridwa amati: “Wina akutame, si m’kamwa mwako ayi.” Zimenezi zikusonyeza kuti kulandira chitamando kuchokera kwa anthu ena nkoyenerera.

Koma sizili choncho ndi kulandira kapena kupereka chitamando chosyasyalika. Kodi nchifukwa ninji mawu osyasyalika ali osasangalatsa kwa Yehova? Mwa zina, kuteroko kumakhala kusaona mtima, ndipo Yehova amadana ndi kusaona mtima. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 23:6, 7.) Ndiponso, kumasonyeza kusakhulupirika. Ponena za anthu amene amadedwa ndi Mulungu, wamasalmo akuti: “Zimene amachita ndizo kumangonamizana, ali ndi milomo yosyasyalika, amalankhula ndi mitima iŵiri. Yehova adule mlomo uliwonse wosyasyalika.”​—Salmo 12:2, 3, JB.

Koposa zonse, kuchita zinthu mosyasyalika kumasonyeza kupanda chikondi. Kumachitika chifukwa cha kudzikonda. Ponena za anthu osyasyalika, wamasalmo Davide akufotokoza zomwe iwo amanena kuti: “Ndi lilime lathu tidzaposa; milomo yathu nja ife eni; mbuye wa pa ife ndani?” Yehova akufotokoza za anthu odzikondawo kuti ali ‘opasula ozunzika.’ Lilime lawo losyasyalika lagwiritsiridwa ntchito, osati kumangirira ena ayi, koma kuwapasula ndi kuwazunza.​—Salmo 12:4, 5.

Kusyasyalika​—Msampha

“Wosyasyalika mnzake atcherera mapazi ake ukonde.” Inatero Mfumu Solomo yanzeruyo, ndipo zimenezo nzoonadi chotani nanga! (Miyambo 29:5) Afarisi anayesa kutchera msampha Yesu ndi mawu osyasyalika. Iwo anati: “Mphunzitsi, tidziŵa kuti muli woona, ndipo muphunzitsa njira ya Mulungu moona ndithu, ndipo simusamala munthu aliyense; pakuti simuyang’anira pa nkhope ya anthu.” Zimenezo zinaoneka ngati zosangalatsa chotani nanga! Koma Yesu sanatengeke maganizo ndi kukometsa mawu kwawoko. Iye anadziŵa kuti iwo sanali kukhulupirira ziphunzitso zake zoona koma anangofuna kuti ampezerepo chifukwa malinga nzimene iye akananena pankhani yopereka msonkho kwa Kaisara.​—Mateyu 22:15-22.

Mfumu Herode inali yosiyana kwambiri ndi Yesu. Pamene mfumuyo inalankhula kwa anthu a m’tauni ya Kaisareya, anthu anayankha kuti: “Ndiwo mawu a Mulungu, si a munthu ayi.” M’malo modzudzula anthuwo chifukwa cha kutamanda kopambanitsa ndi konyengako, Herode anavomereza mawu osyasyalika amenewo. Mngelo wa Yehova anapereka chilango nthaŵi yomweyo pamene Herode anakanthidwa ndi mphutsi zimene zinamupha.​—Machitidwe 12:21-23.

Mkristu wokhwima m’maganizo adzayenera kukhala tcheru ndi kuzindikira kusyasyalika kulikonse. Akulu a mumpingo ayenera kukhala tcheru kwambiri pamene wina amene akukhudzidwa ndi milandu ina akuthokoza kwambiri wina, mwinamwake ngakhale kusiyanitsa pakati pa mkulu wina ndi mkulu mnzake ndi kunena mmene mkulu amene akulankhula nayeyo alili wokoma mtima ndi wachifundo kusiyana ndi winayo.

Baibulo likufotokoza momveka bwino za msampha wina umene ungadze chifukwa cha kusyasyalika pamene lifotokoza mmene mnyamata amanyengedwera kuchita zachiwerewere chifukwa cha kusyasyalika kwa mkazi wachiwerewereyo. (Miyambo 7:5, 21) Chenjezo limeneli nloyenerera lerolino malinga ndi mmene zinthu zakhalira. Mwa anthu amene amachotsedwa mumpingo wachikristu chaka ndi chaka, ambiri amachotsedwa chifukwa cha chiwerewere. Kodi tchimo lalikulu limeneli lingakhale kuti limayambika chifukwa cha kusyasyalika? Popeza kuti anthu amafuna kwambiri kuyamikiridwa ndi kutamandidwa, mawu okometsa ochokera m’milomo yosyasyalika angapangitse Mkristu kuti asiye makhalidwe ake odziletsa. Ngati alephera kukhala tcheru ndi zinthu zimenezo, zingamsonkhezere kuchita zinthu zosayenera.

Kupeŵa Anthu Osyasyalika

Mawu osyasyalika amakhutiritsa kudzikonda kapena kuti kupanda pake kwa munthu amene akusyasyalikidwayo. Cholinga chake chimakhala chakuti munthu wosyasyalikidwayo azidziona ngati munthu wotsogola, kumpangitsa kuti azidziona ngati wopambana anzake onse m’njira inayake. Wafilosofi wina wotchedwa François de La Rochefoucauld anafanizira kusyasyalika ndi chizude, “chimene chili chachabechabe choti sichingagwiritsiridwe ntchito.” Choncho, njira yopeŵera zimenezo ndiyo kumvera uphungu wogwira ntchito wa mtumwi Paulo wakuti: “Ndiuza munthu aliyense wa inu, kuti asadziyese koposa kumene ayenera kudziyesa; koma aganize modziletsa yekha, monga Mulungu anagaŵira kwa munthu aliyense muyeso wa chikhulupiriro.”​—Aroma 12:3.

Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa timafuna kumva zinthu zimene zili zotikondweretsa, zimene kwenikweni timafunikira kwambiri ndizo uphungu ndi mwambo wa m’Baibulo. (Miyambo 16:25) Mfumu Ahabu anafuna kumva zinthu zokhazokha zimene zinali zomsangalatsa; choncho atumiki ake anapempha mneneri Mikaya kuti mawu ake ‘afanane ndi mawu a wina wa iwowo [aneneri osyasyalika a Ahabu], nanene zabwino.’ (1 Mafumu 22:13) Ahabu akanakhala wofunitsitsa kumva mawu oona naleka njira zake zaupandu, iye sakanapangitsa kuti Israyeli agonjetsedwe kambirimbiri ndi adani ake m’nkhondo ndiponso iyeyo sakanafa. Kuti tikhale mumkhalidwe wabwino wauzimu, tiyenera kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga pauphungu wamphamvu komabe wachikondi wa akulu achikristu oikidwa, amene amafuna kutithandiza kuti tikhalebe panjira yowongoka ya choonadi, m’malo mosamala za anthu amene amangotiuza kuti ndife abwino kwambiri, kusangalatsa makutu athu ndi mawu osyasyalika!​—Yerekezerani ndi 2 Timoteo 4:3.

Akristu sayenera kusyasyalika mpang’ono pomwe. Monga Elihu wokhulupirikayo, iwo amapemphera mwaphamphu kuti: “Ndisakondere aliyense, kapena kusyasyalika munthu aliyense; pakuti sindidziŵa kusyasyalika, ndikatero Mlengi wanga adzandichotsa mwamsanga.” Ndiponso, monga Paulo, iwo anganene kuti: “Sitinayenda nawo mawu osyasyalika nthaŵi iliyonse . . . kapena kupsinjira msiriro.”​—Yobu 32:21, 22, An American Translation; 1 Atesalonika 2:5, 6.

Pamene Chitamando Chikhala Choyenerera

Mwambi wouziridwa umasonyeza kuti chitamando chingagwire ntchito monga chopendera makhalidwe a munthu, ndipo umati: “Siliva asungunuka m’mbiya, ndi golidi m’ng’anjo, motero chitamando chipenda makhalidwe a munthu.” (Miyambo 27:21, The New English Bible) Ndithudi, chitamando chingapangitse munthu kudziona kuti ngwapamwamba kapena chingamuyambitse kunyada, makhalidwe amene pomalizira pake angamgwetse. Komanso, chitamando chingasonyezenso kufatsa ndi kudzichepetsa ngati wotamandidwayo ayamika Yehova kaamba ka chinthu chilichonse chimene chapangitsa kuti iye atamandidwe.

Kutamanda wina moona mtima chifukwa cha makhalidwe ake abwino kapena chifukwa cha zinthu zimene munthuyo wapeza kumamangirira onse aŵiri wotamandayo ndi wotamandidwayo. Kumathandizira kukulitsa mkhalidwe woyamikirana moona mtima. Kumapangitsa munthu kuyesetsa kuti azisumika maganizo pa zinthu zopindulitsa. Chitamando choperekedwa kwa achinyamata chifukwa cha ntchito yawo yabwino chingawapangitse kuti apitirize kugwira ntchitoyo mwakhama. Chingathandizire kuwongolera makhalidwe awo pamene iwo ayesetsa kuchita zinthu zoyenera.

Choncho, tiyeni tipeŵe chitamando chosyasyalika​—kaya kuchipereka kapena kuchilandira. Tiyeni tikhale odzichepetsa pamene tilandira chitamando. Ndiponso tiyeni tipereke chitamando momasuka ndi mwa mtima wonse​—nthaŵi zonse kwa Yehova pamene timlambira ndiponso moona mtima kwa ena pamene tiwathokoza ndi kuwayamikira, pokumbukira kuti “mawu a panthaŵi yake kodi sali abwino?”​—Miyambo 15:23.