Kulera Ana Omwe Amafunika Kuwasamalira Mwapadera

YOLEMBEDWA NDI WOLEMBA GALAMUKANI! KU FINLAND

Markus (ali kumanzereyu), yemwe ali ndi zaka 20, sangathe kudya, kumwa, kapena kusamba yekha. Sagona bwino ndipo amafunika kum’samalira usiku wonse. Popeza amachita ngozi kawirikawiri, sati walandira liti chithandizo. Makolo ake a Markus amam’konda kwambiri. Amasangalala naye kwambiri chifukwa ndi wofatsa, wokoma mtima, komanso wachikondi. Amam’nyadira mwana wawoyu ngakhale kuti ndi wolumala.

BUNGWE Loona za Umoyo pa Dziko Lonse limati n’kutheka kuti anthu atatu pa anthu 100 alionse padziko lonse, ali ndi vuto linalake loganiza moperewera. Munthu angathe kukhala woperewera nzeru chifukwa cha matenda otengera ku mtundu, kuvulala pobadwa, kudwala matenda okhudza bongo ali mwana, kuperewera zakudya m’thupi, komanso kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kumwa mowa, ndiponso kukhala pafupi ndi mankhwala oopsa osiyanasiyana. Nthawi zambiri gwero la vutoli silidziwika. Kodi munthu ukakhala kholo la mwana yemwe amafunika kum’samalira mwapadera umamva bwanji? Kodi makolo oterewa angalimbikitsidwe motani?

Akamva Nkhani Yosasangalatsayi

Mavuto amayamba makolo akangozindikira kuti mwana wawo ali ndi vuto m’bongo mwake. “Ine ndi mwamuna wanga titangouzidwa kuti mwana wathu wamkazi ali ndi matenda ozerezeka, tinkangomva ngati kuti nyumba yathu yatigwera ndi kutikwirira,” anafotokoza motero Sirkka. Mayi ake a Markus, omwe dzina lawo ndi Anne, anati: “Nditauzidwa kuti mwana wathuyu adzakhala woperewera nzeru, ndinayamba kuganizira za m’mene anthu ena azidzamuonera. Koma sipanatenge nthawi yaitali, ndinasiya kuganiza zimenezo, n’kuyamba kuganizira kwambiri zinthu zomwe adzafunikira ndiponso zimene ndingamam’chitire.” Nayenso Irmgard anamva chimodzimodzi. Iye anati: “Madokotala atatifotokozera za chilema cha mwana wathu Eunike, maganizo anga onse anali a mmene ndingam’thandizire mwana wangayo.” Pambuyo podziwa zimenezi, kodi makolo monga Sirkka, Anne, ndi Irmgard angachite zotani?

Bungwe lina la ku United States lopereka malangizo othandizira ana olumala linati: “Mwa zinthu zoyambirira zomwe mungachite ndizo kumvetsa bwino za chilema cha mwana wanuyo, kudziwa za thandizo limene ana oterowo amalandira, ndiponso zomwe mungachite, zothandiza mwanayo kukula ndi kukhwima maganizo mmene angathere.” Kuchita zimene mwapezazo kungakuthandizeni kudziwa mmene mungam’thandizire mwanayo komanso mwatanthauzo. Zimakhala ngati kuona mapu kuti mudziwe mtunda womwe mwayenda.

Sikuti Zonse Zimakhala Zosasangalatsa Zokhazokha

Ngakhale kuti kuperewera maganizo kwa mwana kumathetsa nzeru kwambiri, komabe sikuti zonse zimakhala zosasangalatsa zokhazokha. Motani?

Choyamba, n’zolimbikitsa kwa makolo kudziwa kuti ana ambiri oterewa sikuti amamva ululu. Dr. Robert Isaacson analemba m’buku lawo lakuti The Retarded Child kuti: “Ambiri mwa anawa amatha kusangalala akamasewera ndi anzawo, kumvera nyimbo, kuchita masewera ena olimbitsa thupi, kudya chakudya chokoma, ndiponso kukhala ndi anzawo.” Ngakhale kuti sangathe kuchita zambiri m’moyo wawo ndipo sangachite nawo zambiri zochitika kunja kuno zimene ana ena amachita, nthawi zambiri amasangalala ndi zochepa zomwe akutha kuchitazo kusiyana ndi anzawo abwinobwino.

Chachiwiri, makolo anganyadire ndi zinthu zomwe mwana wawo amatha kuchita chifukwa cha khama lake. Kwa anawo, ntchito iliyonse imakhala yovuta kuiphunzira, koma akaiphunzira makolo awo ndiponso anawo amasangalala kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, Bryan ali ndi matenda otengera kumtundu omwe nthawi zambiri amayambitsa zotupa m’bongo ndipo ndi wakhunyu. Ngakhale kuti ndi mwana wanzeru, iye salankhula komanso saatha kugwiritsa ntchito bwinobwino manja ake. Komabe, waphunzira pang’onopang’ono kumwera m’kapu yosadzadzitsa popanda kutaya zinthu zomwe zili m’kapumo. Kutha kuyendetsa bwinobwino thupi lake kwam’thandiza Bryan kuti azimwa yekha mkaka womwe amaukonda kwambiri.

Bambo ndi mayi a Bryan amaona kuti anachepetsako pang’ono chilema chake mwa kuchita zimenezi. “Mwana wathuyu timamuona ngati mtengo wa matabwa olimba kwambiri m’nkhalango,” anatero amayi ake, omwe dzina lawo ndi Laurie. “Ngakhale kuti mitengo yotere sikula msanga poiyerekeza ndi mitengo ina, koma matabwa ake amakhala a mtengo wokwera kwambiri. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi ana omwe ali ndi zilema. Iwo amakula pang’onopang’ono. Koma makolo awo amawaona ngati timitengo ta phingo ndi tsanya tolimba kwambiri.”

Chachitatu n’chakuti makolo ambiri amasangalala ndi chikondi cha mwana wawo. Irmgard anati: “Eunike amakonda kukagona mwamsanga ndipo nthawi zonse asanakagone amatipsopsona tonse m’banja mwathu. Akapita kokagona ife tisanafike kunyumba, amalemba kakalata kopepesa chifukwa choti sanathe kutidikirira. Amalembanso kuti amatikonda ndipo tionana naye m’mawa mwake.”

Markus saatha kulankhula, komabe anayesetsa kuphunzira mawu angapo a m’chinenero cha manja, n’cholinga choti aziuza makolo ake kuti amawakonda. Makolo a Tia, mwana amene sakukula, anafotokoza motere maganizo awo: “Iye amatikonda kwambiri ndipo amatikumbatira ndi kutipsopsona.” N’zosachita kufunsa kuti ana onse oterewa amafuna kuti makolo awo aziwakonda kwambiri, ndipo amafuna kuti aziwasonyeza chikondicho mwa kuwauza kuti amawakonda komanso mwa kuwakumbatira kapena kuwapsopsona.

Chachinayi, makolo achikristu amasangalala kwambiri ana awo akamasonyeza kuti amakhulupirira Mulungu. Juha ndi chitsanzo chabwino pankhaniyi. Pamaliro a bambo ake, aliyense amene anafikapo anadabwa ndi zimene iye anachita. Anapempha kuti apemphere. M’pemphero lake lalifupi, Juha anafotokozamo chikhulupiriro chake chakuti, Mulungu akuwakumbukira bambo akewo ndi kuti panthawi yake, Mulunguyo adzawaukitsa. Kenako anapempha Mulungu kuti athandize a m’banja mwake, ndipo anatchula dzina la wina aliyense wa m’banja mwawomo.

Nawonso makolo a Eunike amasangalala chifukwa chakuti mwana wawo amadalira Mulungu. Eunike samvetsetsa zinthu zonse zimene waphunzira. Mwachitsanzo, amadziwa anthu ambiri otchulidwa m’Baibulo, koma saatha kuwagwirizanitsa ndi zinthu zina zimene iye amadziwa. Komabe, amadziwa kuti tsiku lina, Mulungu Wamphamvuyonse adzathetsa mavuto onse. Iye akuyembekezera kudzakhala m’dziko latsopano limene Mulungu analonjeza, momwe adzathe kugwiritsa ntchito bwinobwino bongo wake.

Kuwalimbikitsa Kudzichitira Okha Zinthu

Ana oganiza moperewera sikuti amangokhala ana basi. Amakula n’kukhala anthu achikulire oganiza moperewera. Motero, ndi bwino kuti makolo azithandiza ana omwe akufunika kuwasamalira mwapadera kuti asamadalire kwambiri anthu ena. Amayi a Markus, omwe dzina lawo ndi Anne, anati: “Ifeyo sitinkavutika kum’chitira zinthu Markus komanso tinkachita mwamsanga. Koma tinayesetsa kum’thandiza kuti aziyesetsa kudzichitira yekha zimene angathe.” Amayi a Eunike anawonjezera motere: “Eunike ali ndi makhalidwe ambiri osangalalatsa, koma nthawi zina amachita liuma kwambiri. Kuti achite zimene iye sakufuna kuchita, timafunika kuchita kum’kumbutsa za cholinga chake chofuna kuti azitisangalatsa. Ndipo ngakhale pambuyo poti wavomera kuchita ntchito inayake, timafunika kupitiriza kum’limbikitsa mpaka atamaliza ntchitoyo.”

Amayi a Bryan, nthawi zonse amafufuza njira zothandizira mwana wawoyu kuti azisangalala ndi moyo. Pazaka zitatu zapitazi, Laurie ndi mwamuna wake athandiza Bryan kuphunzira kutaipa pa kompyuta. Bryan amatumizira anzake ndi achibale ake makalata kudzera pa kompyuta ndipo amasangalala nazo kwambiri zimenezi. Koma akamataipa amafunika kuti munthu am’gwire m’mfundo za manja. Panopa makolo ake akum’thandiza kuti azitaipa munthu atam’gwira m’zigongonomu basi. Iwo akudziwa kuti akafika posintha n’kumangofuna kuti munthu azim’gwira m’zigongono ndiye kuti am’thandiza kwambiri.

Komabe, makolo asamayembekezere zoti mwana wawo sangakwanitse kapena kum’fulumizitsa kuti ayambe mwamsanga kumadzichitira yekha zina. Mwana aliyense ali ndi zake zimene angakwanitse kuchita. Buku lakuti The Special Child limati: “Njira yomwe yakhala ikuthandiza kwambiri ndi yoti makolo azionetsetsa kuti pamene akulimbikitsa ana kumadzichitira okha zinthu ayeneranso kuonetsetsa kuti akuwapatsa chithandizo chokwanira n’cholinga choti asakhumudwe.”

Thandizo Lalikulu Kwambiri Kuposa Onse

Makolo onse a ana olumala amafunika kukhala oleza mtima ndi opirira kwambiri. Mavuto akamangopezanapezana, makolo ambiri amataya mtima nthawi zina. Ndipo m’kupita kwa nthawi zotsatirapo zake sizikhala zabwino ayi. Amalira, ndipo nthawi zina amadzimvera chisoni. Kodi angatani zikatero?

Makolo angapemphe thandizo kwa Mulungu, amene ‘amamva pemphero.’ (Salmo 65:2) Iye amalimbikitsa, amapereka chiyembekezo, ndiponso nyonga zothandiza kuti munthu apirire. (1 Mbiri 29:12; Salmo 27:14) Amatonthoza mitima yathu yothedwa nzeru, ndipo amafuna kuti ‘tikondwere m’chiyembekezo’ chimene chimapezeka m’Baibulo. (Aroma 12:12; 15:4, 5; 2 Akorinto 1:3, 4) Makolo odalira Mulungu angakhale ndi chikhulupiriro kuti m’tsogolomu, ‘maso a akhungu akadzatsegulidwa, makutu a ogontha akadzatsegulidwa, olumala akadzayamba kuyenda, ndipo osalankhula akadzayamba kufuula mosangalala,’ mwana wawo nayenso amene amam’konda kwambiri adzakhala ndi bongo wabwinobwino ndiponso wathanzi.—Yesaya 35:5, 6; Salmo 103:2, 3.

ZIMENE MAKOLO ANGACHITE

◼ Phunzirani bwino za vuto la mwana wanuyo.

◼ Yesani kuganizira zinthu zabwino nthawi zonse.

◼ Thandizani mwana wanuyo kutha kumadzichitira yekha zinthu zimene angathe.

◼ Pemphani Mulungu kuti akuthandizeni kukhala wolimba mtima, akupatseni chiyembekezo ndiponso nyonga.

ZIMENE ENA ANGACHITE

◼ Polankhula ndi mwanayo, lankhulani naye zinthu zogwirizana ndi msinkhu wake ndiponso mwachifundo.

◼ Lankhulani ndi makolo za mwana wawoyo ndipo ayamikireni.

◼ Muziganizira ndi kusamala ndi mmene makolo a mwanayo amamvera m’maganizo.

◼ Chitirani limodzi zinthu ndi makolo ndiponso mabanja a ana omwe amafunika kuwasamalira mwapadera.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Mmene Ena Angathandizire

Monga mmene anthu oonerera amachitira chidwi ndi anthu othamanga mtunda wautali, n’kutheka kuti nanunso mumachita chidwi ndi nyonga zimene makolo osamalira mwana wolumala, maola 24 patsiku, masiku 7 pamlungu, amakhala nazo. Anthu oonerera, amene aima mu msewu wodutsa anthu othamanga mtunda wautali, amapatsa othamangawo mabotolo a madzi. Kodi inu mungathe kulimbikitsa makolo amene akugwira ntchito yosamalira mwana amene amafunika kusamalidwa mwapadera?

Njira imodzi yosavuta imene mungathandizire, ndiyo kulankhula ndi mwana wawoyo. Mwina poyamba simungakhale womasuka, chifukwa mwina mwanayo sangalankhule zambiri, kapenanso sangalankhule n’komwe. Koma kumbukirani kuti ana ambiri oterewa amakonda kumvetsera ndipo n’kuthekanso kuti angamaganizire mofatsa zimene mukunena. Nthawi zina maganizo awo amakhala ngati mapiri a madzi oundana ongoonekera nsonga zokha, ndipo mwina sangamaonetsere za mu mtima mwawo.a

Dokotala wina wa za matenda a maganizo a ana, Dr. Annikki Koistinen anafotokoza mmene mungalankhulirane nawo mosavuta. Iye anati: “Poyamba mungathe kulankhula nawo za banja lawo kapena zimene zimawasangalatsa. Muzilankhula mogwirizana ndi msinkhu wawo, osakhala ngati mukulankhula ndi mwana. Paulendo uliwonse, muzikambirana nawo nkhani imodzi, ndipo musamalankhule ziganizo zitalizitali. Apatseni mpata woganiza zimene mukunena.”

Makolo nawonso amafuna kucheza nanu. Mukamvetsa mavuto amene akukumana nawo m’pamene mumawamvera chisoni kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, mayi a Markus, Anne, amafuna kumudziwa bwino mwana wawo. Iwo amadandaula chifukwa chakuti mwana wawoyu sangalankhule nawo ndi kuwafotokozera zomwe akuganiza. Amadanso nkhawa kuti mwina iwo ndi amene adzayambe kumwalira, mwana wawoyu n’kukhala wopanda mayi.

Makolo angayesetse kusamalira mwana wawo amene amaganiza moperewera, komabe nthawi zambiri sakhutira ndi zomwe akuchitazo. Laurie, yemwe ndi mayi ake a Bryan, amadziimba mlandu pa kalikonse komwe alakwitsa posamalira mwana wawoyu. Amadziimbanso mlandu chifukwa choti sakwanitsa kusamalira bwino ana awo ena. Kukhala ndi chidwi ndiponso kulemekeza makolo oterewa komanso kusanyalanyaza maganizo awo, kumapatsa ulemu ndi kulimbikitsa makolowo limodzi ndi ana awowo. Pankhaniyi Irmgard anati: “Ndimasangalala kukambirana ndi anthu nkhani zokhudza mwana wanga. Ndimamasuka ndi anthu amene akufuna kusangalala nane limodzi ndiponso kudandaulira nane limodzi pa zimene ndimachita ndi Eunike.”

Ndipo pali njira zina zambiri, zazikulu ndi zazing’ono, zimene mungathandizire. Mwina mungapemphe makolo ndi mwana wawoyo kubwera kunyumba kwanu kapena mungawapemphe kuti akhale nanu pa zinthu zomwe banja lanu likuchita. Mwinanso mungakhale ndi mwanayo kwa maola angapo, pamene makolo ake akupuma.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Kusonyeza kudera nkhawa kwenikweni kumapatsa ulemu makolo ndi mwanayo

[Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Mofanana ndi Eunike, ana oganiza moperewera amafunabe kuti azikondedwa akamakula

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Laurie wathandiza mwana wake, Bryan, kuphunzira kutaipa, zomwe zam’limbikitsa kudzichitira yekha zinthu