Mutu 4

Kodi Tiyenera Kusonyezana Chikondi Mpaka Pati?

Chongani kuti zoona kapena zonama:

Nthawi zonse n’kosayenera kuti anthu amene ali pachibwenzi azigwirana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

Anthu amene ali pachibwenzi akhoza kukhalabe ndi mlandu wa dama ngakhale atapewa kugonana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

Ngati anthu amene ali pachibwenzi sagwiranagwirana kapena kupsompsonana ndiye kuti sakondana.

□ Zoona

□ Zonama

N’ZODZIWIKIRATU kuti munaganizirapo kwambiri nkhani imeneyi. Ndipotu, ngati muli pachibwenzi zingakhale zovuta kudziwa malire pankhani yosonyezana chikondi. Tiyeni tikambirane mfundo zitatu zili pamwambazi kuti tione mmene Mawu a Mulungu angatithandizire kuyankha funso lakuti: “Kodi tiyenera kusonyezana chikondi mpaka pati?”

● Nthawi zonse n’kosayenera kuti anthu amene ali pachibwenzi azigwirana.

Zonama. Baibulo sililetsa kusonyezana chikondi m’njira yoyenera. Mwachitsanzo, Baibulo limafotokoza nkhani ya mtsikana wachisulami ndi m’busa wachinyamata amene anali pachibwenzi. Iwo anadzisunga nthawi yonse imene anali pachibwenzi. Komabe, zikuoneka kuti asanakwatirane, nthawi zina ankagwirana ndiponso kupsompsonana posonyezana chikondi. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Masiku anonso, anthu ena amene ali pachibwenzi ndipo atsimikiza kuti adzakwatirana angaone kuti n’zoyenera kusonyezana chikondi m’njira yoyenera.a

Komabe anthu amene ali pachibwenzi ayenera kusamala kwambiri. Kupsompsonana, kukumbatirana, kapena kuchita chilichonse chimene chingadzutse chilakolako chogonana kungawapangitse kuchita chiwerewere. N’zosavuta kwa anthu amene ali pachibwenzi kuti agonane, ngakhale kuti analibe cholinga chochita zimenezi.—Akolose 3:5.

● Anthu amene ali pachibwenzi akhoza kukhalabe ndi mlandu wa dama ngakhale atapewa kugonana.

Zoona. Mawu a Chigiriki choyambirira amene anamasuliridwa kuti “dama” (por·neiʹa) amatanthauza zinthu zambiri. Amatanthauza kugonana kwa mtundu wina uliwonse kwa anthu osakwatirana komanso kugwiritsa ntchito ziwalo zogonanira m’njira yolakwika. Choncho, mawu oti dama samangotanthauza kugonana kwenikweni kokha koma amatanthauzanso kuseweretsa ziwalo zogonanira za munthu wina ndiponso kugonana m’kamwa kapena kumatako.

Ndiponso Baibulo silimangoletsa dama lokha. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Ntchito za thupi zimaonekera, ndizo dama, chonyansa, khalidwe lotayirira.” Ndipo anapitiriza kuti: “Anthu amene amachita zimenezi sadzalowa mu ufumu wa Mulungu.”—Agalatiya 5:19-21.

Kodi “chonyansa” chimene chikutchulidwa palembali n’chiyani? Mawu a Chigiriki amene anamasuliridwa kuti “chonyansa” amatanthauza chodetsa chilichonse, kaya zimene timalankhula kapena kuchita. N’zoona kuti zingakhaledi zonyansa kuti munthu wina apise dzanja lake m’kati mwa chovala cha munthu wina, kum’vula, kapena kusisita mbali zobisika za thupi lake monga mabere ake. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti kusisita mabere ndi mbali yosangalatsa imene angachite anthu okwatirana basi.—Miyambo 5:18, 19.

Achinyamata ena amanyalanyaza mfundo za Mulungu mopanda manyazi. Iwo amapitirira malire mwadala, kapenanso amakhala ndi zibwenzi zambirimbiri kuti azigonana ndiponso kuchita zinthu zina zonyansa. Achinyamata amenewa angakhale ndi mlandu wochita zimene mtumwi Paulo anati ndi “khalidwe lotayirira.” Mawu a Chigiriki amene anamasuliridwa kuti “khalidwe lotayirira” amatanthauza ‘kuchita zinthu mopandiratu manyazi, mopitirira kwambiri malire, mopanda ulemu, ndiponso mosadziletsa ngakhale pang’ono.’ Kunena zoona, inuyo simungafune kukhala munthu yemwe “sangathenso kuzindikira makhalidwe abwino” chifukwa chodzipereka yekha ku “khalidwe lotayirira kuti achite zonyansa zonse mwadyera.”—Aefeso 4:17-19.

● Ngati anthu amene ali pachibwenzi sagwiranagwirana kapena kupsompsonana ndiye kuti sakondana.

Zonama. Mosiyana ndi zimene anthu ena amaganiza, kusonyezana chikondi m’njira zosayenera sikuti kumalimbitsa chibwenzi. M’malo mwake, kumachititsa anthuwo kuti asiye kulemekezana ndi kukhulupirirana. Taganizirani zimene zinachitikira Laura. Iye anati: “Tsiku lina mayi anga atachoka, mnyamata yemwe ndinali naye pachibwenzi anabwera ku nyumba kwathu ngati akudzangoonera TV. Poyamba, anangondigwira dzanja. Kenako anayamba kundigwiragwira. Ndinaopa kumuuza kuti asiye poganiza kuti angakhumudwe n’kuchoka.”

Kodi inuyo mukuganiza bwanji? Kodi mnyamatayo ankam’kondadi Laura, kapena ankafuna kungodzisangalatsa basi? Kodi munthu amene akukunyengererani kuti muchite zolakwika amakukondanidi?

Mnyamata akamakakamiza mtsikana kuchita zinthu zosemphana ndi mfundo zachikhristu ndiponso chikumbumtima chake, amakhala akuswa malamulo a Mulungu ndipo amasonyeza kuti samukondadi mtsikanayo. Ndiponso, mtsikana amadzichotsera ulemu wake akalolera zimenezi. Komanso akatero, amakhala atachita chinthu chonyansa kwambiri, mwinanso dama limene.b—1 Akorinto 6:9, 10.

Dziikireni Malire

Ngati muli pachibwenzi, kodi mungatani kuti mupewe kupitirira malire pankhani yosonyezana chikondi? Njira yanzeru ndiyo kudziikira malire mukangoyamba kumene chibwenzicho. Lemba la Miyambo 13:10 limati: “Omwe [amakambirana, NW] ali ndi nzeru.” Choncho, kambiranani ndi chibwenzi chanucho njira zoyenera zosonyezerana chikondi. Kunyalanyaza kudziikira malire mpaka mutayamba kusonyezana chikondi kwambiri kuli ngati kudikira kuti nyumba yanu iyambe kupsa ndiyeno n’kumaika alamu yochenjeza za moto.

N’zoona kuti kukambirana nkhani ngati imeneyi kungakhale kovuta ngakhalenso kochititsa manyazi makamaka chibwenzi chikangoyamba kumene. Koma kudziikira malire kungakuthandizeni kwambiri kuti mupewe mavuto amene angadzayambe m’tsogolo. Malire abwino angakhale ngati alamu yochenjeza za moto imene imalira moto utangoyamba kumene. Ndiponso, mukamakambirana bwino nkhani imeneyi ndiye kuti chibwenzi chanucho chingayende bwino. Ndipotu, kukhala wodziletsa, woleza mtima ndiponso wosadzikonda n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mudzasangalale ndi mphatso ya kugonana mukadzakwatirana.—1 Akorinto 7:3, 4.

N’zoona kuti kutsatira mfundo za Mulungu kumafuna khama. Koma dalirani malangizo a Yehova. Ndipo palemba la Yesaya 48:17, Yehova anadzilongosola kuti ndi ‘amene amatiphunzitsa kupindula, amene amatitsogolera m’njira yoyenera ife kupitamo.’ Ndipotu iye amakufunirani zabwino nthawi zonse.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 24

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Chikondi . . . sichichita zosayenera.”—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Ngati muli pachibwenzi, muyenera kukambirana zinthu zina zokhudza nkhani ya kugonana. Komabe, n’kulakwa kukambirana nkhaniyi n’cholinga choti mudzutse chilakolako chogonana, ngakhale mutagwiritsa ntchito foni.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Muzicheza pagulu ndi chibwenzi chanu kapena muzionetsetsa kuti muli ndi munthu wina wokuperekezani. Pewani kukhala awiriwiri m’malo monga m’galimoto yoimikidwa kapena m’nyumba.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndingapewe kukodwa mu msampha wochita zosayenera mwa kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Ngati chibwenzi changa chitandikakamiza kuchita zosayenera, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi mungadziikire malire otani pankhani yogwirana ndi munthu yemwe si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu?

● Kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa dama, chonyansa, ndi khalidwe lotayirira?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 46]

“Ine ndi chibwenzi changa tinkawerengera limodzi m’mabuku ofotokoza za Baibulo nkhani zotithandiza kuti tikhale odziletsa pachibwenzi chathu. Tikuyamikira kuti nkhanizo zinatithandiza kukhalabe ndi chikumbumtima choyera.”—Anatero Leticia

[Chithunzi patsamba 44]

Kodi Tingatani Ngati Tapitirira Malire?

Nanga bwanji ngati mwachita zosayenera? Musadzinamize kuti vutolo mungalithetse nokha. Mtsikana wina anati: “Ndinkapemphera kuti, ‘Tithandizeni kuti tisadzachitenso zimenezi.’ Nthawi zina tinkasiyadi kuchita zosayenerazo, koma nthawi zina sizinkatheka.” Choncho, uzani makolo anu. Baibulo limaperekanso malangizo abwino awa: ‘Itanani akulu a mpingo.’ (Yakobe 5:14) Abusa achikhristu amenewa angapereke malangizo, uphungu ndi chidzudzulo, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukonze ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu.

[Chithunzi patsamba 47]

Kodi mungadikire kuti nyumba yanu iyambe kupsa ndi moto ndiyeno n’kuika alamu? Choncho, musadikire kuti chilakolako chanu cha kugonana chikule kwambiri ndiyeno n’kumadziikira malire

Mutu 5

N’chifukwa Chiyani Sindiyenera Kugonana ndi Aliyense Mpaka N’talowa M’banja?

“Ndimafuna n’tagonana ndi mwamuna kuti ndidziwe mmene zimakhalira.”—Anatero Kelly.

“Ndimadzikayikira chifukwa sindinagonanepo ndi mtsikana mpaka pano.”—Anatero Jordon.

“KODI sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Funso limeneli lingakuchititseni mantha. M’madera ambiri wachinyamata amene sanagonanepo ndi aliyense amaonedwa ngati wotsalira ndiponso wopepera. N’chifukwa chake achinyamata ambiri amakhala atagonapo ndi munthu wina asanafike zaka 20.

Kukopeka ndi Chilakolako Chawo Komanso Kulimbikitsidwa ndi Anzawo

Ngati ndinu Mkhristu, mukudziwa kuti Baibulo limakuuzani kuti ‘mupewe dama.’ (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Komabe, mungaone kuti kudziletsa n’kovuta. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Paul, anati: “Nthawi zina ndimangoyamba kuganiza za kugonana popanda chifukwa chenicheni.” Koma dziwani kuti n’kwachibadwa kumva choncho nthawi zambiri.

Komabe, zimachititsa manyazi kwambiri kuti anthu azikuseka nthawi zonse kuti sunagonanepo ndi munthu. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mungamve bwanji anzanu atakuuzani kuti sindinu mwamuna kapena mkazi weniweni chifukwa simunagonanepo ndi munthu? Ellen anati: “Anzako amakuchititsa kuganiza kuti kugonana n’kosangalatsa ndiponso koyenera.” Iye anapitiriza kuti: “Anthu amakukayikira ngati sunagonanepo ndi aliyense.”

Koma pankhani yokhudza kugonana musanalowe m’banja, pali mfundo inayake imene anzanuwo sanganene. Mwachitsanzo, Maria, amene anagonapo ndi chibwenzi chake, anati: “Pambuyo pogonana naye, ndinachita manyazi kwambiri. Ndinakhumudwa kwambiri ndi zomwe tinachitazo.” Zinthu zoterezi zimachitika kawirikawiri ngakhale kuti achinyamata ambiri sazindikira zimenezi. Kunena zoona, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumasokoneza maganizo kwambiri ndipo zotsatira zake n’zoopsa.

Komabe, mtsikana wina dzina lake Shanda anafunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu amapatsa achinyamata chilakolako chogonana, koma akudziwiratu kuti safunika kugonana mpaka atalowa m’banja?” Limeneli ndi funso labwino kwambiri. Koma taganizirani izi:

Kodi chilakolako champhamvu chomwe inuyo mumakhala nacho ndi chogonana basi? Ayi. Yehova Mulungu anakulengani m’njira yoti muzitha kulakalaka ndi kuganizira zinthu zosiyanasiyana.

Kodi mumachita panthawi yomweyo chinthu chilichonse chimene thupi lanu lafuna? Ayi, chifukwa chakuti Mulungu anakulengani m’njira yoti muzitha kudziletsa.

Motero, kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani? Mwina simungathe kuletsa thupi lanu kulakalaka zinthu zina, koma mungathe kudziletsa kuti musachite zinthu zomwe mukulakalakazo. Choncho, kugonana ndi munthu mukangokhala ndi chilakolako chogonana n’kulakwa ndiponso n’kupanda nzeru chifukwa zili ngati kumenya munthu nthawi iliyonse pamene mwakwiya.

Mfundo ndi yakuti, Mulungu safuna kuti tizigwiritsa ntchito molakwika chilakolako chogonana. Baibulo limati: “Aliyense wa inu akhale woyera mwa kudziwa kusunga thupi lake m’chiyero ndi ulemu.” (1 Atesalonika 4:4) Monga mmene palili “mphindi yakukonda ndi mphindi yakudana,” palinso nthawi yomvera chilakolako chanu cha kugonana ndiponso nthawi yodziletsa. (Mlaliki 3:1-8) Kwenikweni, inuyo muli ndi udindo wonse pa zilakolako za thupi lanu.

Koma kodi mungatani munthu wina atakusekani, n’kukufunsani modabwa kuti, “Kutereku sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Zikatero musachite mantha. Munthu amene akungofuna kukunyozani mungamuuze kuti: “Inde, ndipo ndimasangalala kwambiri kuti sindinagonepo ndi munthu aliyense.” Kapena mungamuuze kuti, “Zimenezo sizikukukhudza ndipo sindikambirana ndi aliyense nkhani imeneyi.”a (Miyambo 26:4; Akolose 4:6) Komabe, mwina mungaone kuti m’pofunika kumuuza zambiri munthu amene akukufunsaniyo. Ngati ndi choncho, mungathe kum’fotokozera mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene mumatsatira pankhaniyi.

Kodi mukuganizira njira zinanso zimene mungayankhire munthu amene wakufunsani monyoza kuti, “Kutereku sunagonepo ndi aliyense mpaka pano?” Ngati ndi choncho, lembani njira zimenezo m’munsimu.

․․․․․

Mphatso Yamtengo Wapatali

Kodi Mulungu amamva bwanji anthu akagonana asanalowe m’banja? Tayerekezerani kuti mwagula mphatso yoti mupatse mnzanu. Koma musanam’patse mphatsoyo, mnzanuyo akuitsegula, n’cholinga chongofuna kuona kuti ndi yotani. Kodi mungasangalale nazo? Ndiyeno taganizirani mmene Mulungu angamvere ngati mutagonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja? Iye amafuna kuti mudikire mpaka mudzalowe m’banja kuti mudzasangalale ndi mphatso ya kugonana.—Genesis 1:28.

Kodi muyenera kutani mukakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana? Mwachidule, tinganene kuti muyenera kudziletsa ndipo mukhoza kuchitadi zimenezi. Pempherani kwa Yehova kuti akuthandizeni. Iye angakupatseni mzimu wake kuti ukuthandizeni kudziletsa. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Musaiwale kuti Yehova “sadzakaniza chokoma iwo akuyenda angwiro.” (Salmo 84:11) Wachinyamata wina dzina lake Gordon anati: “Ndikayamba kuganiza kuti palibe cholakwika kugonana ndisanalowe m’banja ndimaganizira kaye mavuto amene angabwere pamoyo wanga wauzimu. Ndiyeno ndimaona kuti ngakhale tchimo litakhala losangalatsa chotani siliyenera kusokoneza ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova.”

Mfundo ndi yakuti palibe chodabwitsa kukhala wosagonana ndi munthu mpaka mutalowa m’banja. Kuchita zachiwerewere n’koopsa ndiponso kumamuchotsera munthu ulemu. Choncho, musalole kuti maganizo a dzikoli akuchititseni kuganiza kuti inuyo muli ndi vuto chifukwa chotsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. Mukapewa kugonana ndi munthu mpaka mutalowa m’banja, mudzakhala ndi thanzi labwino, simudzavutika ndi maganizo, ndipo koposa zonse, mudzakhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi Mulungu.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 24

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Ngati wina . . . wasankha mu mtima mwake kukhalabe [wosagonana ndi munthu], achita bwino.”—1 Akorinto 7:37.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Pewani kucheza ndi anthu amakhalidwe oipa ngakhale atamanena kuti muli nawo chipembedzo chimodzi.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kawirikawiri anthu achiwerewere sasintha khalidwe lawo ngakhale atalowa m’banja. Koma anthu amene amatsatira mfundo za Mulungu zamakhalidwe abwino asanalowe m’banja, amakhalanso okhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Kuti ndisagone ndi munthu aliyense mpaka nditalowa m’banja, ndiyenera kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Anzanga akamandivutitsa kuti ndigonane ndi munthu, ndizichita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani ena amaseka anthu amene sanagonanepo ndi munthu aliyense?

● N’chifukwa chiyani kukhalabe osagonana ndi munthu n’kovuta?

● Kodi ubwino wosagonana ndi munthu aliyense mpaka mutalowa m’banja ndi wotani?

● Kodi mng’ono wanu mungamufotokozere motani ubwino wosagonana ndi munthu mpaka atalowa m’banja?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 51]

“Kukumbukira nthawi zonse kuti ‘wadama kapena wopanda chiyero sadzalowa konse mu ufumu wa Mulungu,’ kumandilimbikitsa kupewa chiwerewere.”(Aefeso 5:5)—Anatero Lydia

[Chithunzi patsamba 49]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Zotsatirapo Zake Zimakhala Zotani Kwenikweni?

Anzanu komanso zosangalatsa zotchuka sizitchula mavuto amene angabwere chifukwa cha kugonana musanalowe m’banja. Taonani zochitika zitatu zotsatirazi. Kodi mukuganiza kuti achinyamatawa chingawachitikire n’chiyani kwenikweni?

● Mnyamata wina kusukulu akudzitama kuti wagonapo ndi atsikana ambirimbiri. Iye akuti n’zosangalatsa ndipo palibe vuto lililonse. Koma kodi n’chiyani kwenikweni chingachitikire mnyamatayu ndiponso atsikanawo? ․․․․․

● Filimu ina ikutha ndi achinyamata awiri osakwatirana akugonana ngati njira yosonyezerana chikondi. Ngati anthu atachitadi zimenezi, kodi zotsatirapo zake zingakhale zotani? ․․․․․

● Mwakumana ndi mnyamata winawake wokongola kwambiri ndipo akukupemphani kuti mugone naye. Iye akuti palibe aliyense amene angadziwe zimenezi. Ngati mutalola kugona naye n’kubisa zomwe mwachitazo, kodi zotsatirapo zake zingakhale zotani kwenikweni? ․․․․․

[Chithunzi patsamba 54]

Kugonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja, kuli ngati kutsegula mphatso musanapatsidwe