Arrangem Bride-Price wea Fitim
Olsem long taem bifor, samfala kastom distaem talem hao bifor man savve maritim gele, hem mas peim bride-price. Jacob sei olsem long Laban wea hem future dadi-in-law bilong hem: “Mi willing for waka for iu for sevenfala year for young dota bilong iu Rachel.” (Genesis 29:18) From Jacob barava lovem Rachel, hem offerim hae bride-price wea datwan hem pei wea hem fit for kasem insaed sevenfala year! Laban acceptim diswan bat hem trikim Jacob for maritim firstaem firstborn dota bilong hem, Leah. Gogo, Laban gohed for laea long Jacob. (Genesis 31:41) From Laban laekem tumas material samting, datwan mekem olketa dota bilong hem for no respectim hem. Olketa dota hia ask olsem: “Waswe, hem tingse mitufala olsem stranger dastawe hem salem mitufala, mekem hem gohed kaikai from selen wea iu givim for mitufala?”—Genesis 31:15.
Sorre tumas, distaem plande dadi and mami olsem Laban wea aftarem material samting. And samfala barava ova tumas. Olsem wanfala niuspepa long Africa talem “samfala dadi wea greedy” arrangem olketa marit “for kasem staka selen.” Nara samting tu hem problem saed long selen wea mekem samfala dadi and mami ting long dota bilong tufala olsem wei for kasem selen.
Samfala dadi and mami no letem dota bilong olketa for marit kwiktaem bikos olketa weitim man wea bae peim hae bride-price. Diswan savve mekem bigfala problem kamap. Wanfala niuspepa from east Africa hem sei: “Olketa boy and gele chus for ranawe tugeta mekem olketa no peim hae bride-price wea olketa greedy in-law barava laekem.” Wei for durong hem wanfala problem wea kamap from bride-price wea hae tumas. And tu, samfala young man peim waef bat olketa garem bigfala kaon for peim bihaen. Wanfala social wakaman long South Africa talem olsem: “Olketa dadi and mami bilong gele mas balance. Olketa shud no forcem pipol bilong boy for peim hae price. Tufala wea just marit bae needim selen. . . So waswe, hem stret for mekem boy for garem kaon?”
Hao nao olketa Christian dadi and mami savve showimaot olketa balance taem olketa arrangem bride-price? Diswan hem wanfala important samting, bikos Bible givim disfala komand: “Evriwan shud luksavve long kaenfala wei bilong iu.”—Philippians 4:5.
Olketa Bible Principle wea Balance
Sapos olketa Christian dadi and mami ask for bride-price or nomoa hem samting wea tufala bae disaedem seleva. Sapos olketa chus for askem bride-price, olketa mas duim diswan fitim olketa Bible principle. Bible sei olsem: “Iufala mas no lovem selen.” (Hebrews 13:5) Sapos olketa no followim disfala principle taem olketa arrangem marit, maet diswan showimaot datfala Christian dadi or mami no showimaot gudfala example. Olketa man wea garem waka insaed Christian kongregeson mas “balance,” “no lovem selen” or “greedy for kasem samting long wei wea no honest.” (1 Timothy 3:3, 8) Wanfala Christian wea greedy and forcem eniwan for givim bride-price wea hae tumas maet disfellowship from kongregeson sapos hem no repent.—1 Corinthians 5:11, 13; 6:9, 10.
From olketa problem kamap taem pipol greedy, samfala gavman mekem law wea stopem bride-price wea hae tumas. Olsem long Togo, wanfala kantri long West Africa, wanfala law talem hao “olketa savve peim” bride-price “witim selen or nara samting.” Bat law hia sei: “No enitaem diswan mas winim 10,000 F CFA (SI$150.00).” Evritaem, Bible talem olketa Christian for mas obeyim olketa law bilong kantri. (Titus 3:1) Nomata sapos gavman no forcem pipol for followim diskaen law, wanfala Christian bae laek for obeyim. Sapos olsem, bae hem garem gudfala conscience front long God and bae no mekem narawan stambol.—Romans 13:1, 5; 1 Corinthians 10:32, 33.
Hu Nao Garem Main Waka for Arrangem?
Long kastom bilong samfala, wei for arrangem bride-price maet no stret witim nara important principle. Olsem Bible talem, dadi nao garem main waka for lukaftarem samting wea kamap insaed famili bilong hem. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18, 20) Dastawe, olketa wea garem main waka insaed kongregeson mas “lukaftarem olketa pikinini and famili bilong hem long gudfala wei.”—1 Timothy 3:12.
Bat maet hem kastom for olketa relative bilong famili hed for arrangem marit. And olketa relative hia bae talem haomas nao olketa bae tekem long datfala bride-price. Diswan hem wanfala test for olketa Christian famili. From olketa followim kastom, samfala famili hed letem relative wea no biliv for forcem man wea bae marit for givim hae bride-price. Dastawe, samfala Christian gele maritim man wea no biliv. Datwan againstim kaonsel wea talem hao olketa Christian shud maritim nomoa “man wea followim Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39) Wanfala famili hed wea letem olketa relative wea no biliv for disaedem samting wea bae spoelem spiritual saed bilong pikinini bilong hem no “leadim famili bilong hem long gudfala wei.”—1 Timothy 3:4.
Waswe sapos wanfala Christian dadi no tekpart for arrangem marit bilong pikinini bilong hem, olsem Abraham wea fraet long God? (Genesis 24:2-4) Sapos Christian dadi markem eniwan for duim diswan, hem mas mek sure man for arrangem marit hia followim samting wea fitim olketa Bible principle wea balance. And tu, bifor olketa Christian dadi and mami duim eni samting for arrangem bride-price, olketa shud tingting gud and no letem eni kastom wea no balance for bossim olketa.—Proverbs 22:3.
Stap Klia Long Eni Samting wea No Fitim Christian
Bible barava againstim wei for praod and “show-off witim samting wea man garem.” (1 John 2:16; Proverbs 21:4) Bat samfala wea attendim Christian kongregeson showimaot olketa wei olsem taem olketa arrangem marit. Samfala followim world long wei for show-off taem olketa peim or taem olketa kasem hae bride-price. Bat wanfala branch office long Africa hem sei: “Samfala hasband no showimaot respect taem famili markem price wea balance, olketa ting daonem waef from bride-price hem ‘nating hae.’”
Wei for greedy and for laekem hae bride-price hem spoelem samfala Christian and lead go for nogud samting. Tingim disfala report from wanfala branch office wea sei: “Plande taem hem hard tumas for olketa singol brata for marit or for olketa singol sista faendem partner. Samting wea kamaot from diswan, plande disfellowship bikos olketa durong. Samfala brata go waka long olketa mine for lukaotem gold or diamond mekem olketa savve salem for olketa garem selen for marit. Maet olketa need for waka for tu-thri year, and plande taem olketa wik long spiritual saed from olketa no stap witim olketa brata and sista and kongregeson.”
For no kasem olketa nogud samting olsem, olketa Christian dadi and mami shud followim example bilong olketa mature brata and sista insaed kongregeson. Nomata aposol Paul no wanfala dadi, hem showimaot gudfala wei taem hem stap witim olketa brata and sista. Hem no laek for putim hevi long eniwan. (Acts 20:33) Long sem wei tu, taem olketa Christian dadi and mami arrangem marit, olketa mas tingim example bilong Paul wea no selfish. Tru nao, God iusim Paul for tok olsem: “Olketa brata and sista, iufala mas wan mind for followim example bilong mi and gohed followim olketa wea showimaot gudfala example wea iufala lukim long mifala.”—Philippians 3:17.
Olketa Example wea Balance
Plande Christian dadi and mami balance taem olketa arrangem marit. Tingim example bilong Joseph and waef bilong hem Mae, wea serve olsem pioneer. Tufala stap long wanfala ples long Solomon Islands wea samfala taem, wei for arrangem bride-price savve kamap wanfala problem. For stap klia long olketa problem olsem, Joseph and Mae arrange for dota bilong tufala Helen for marit long nara island. Tufala duim sem samting for nara dota bilong tufala, Esther. Joseph agree tu hao son-in-law bilong hem Peter savve peim bride-price wea barava low winim wanem olketa fit for kasem. Joseph talem why hem duim olsem: “Mi no laek for putim hevi long son-in-law bilong mi wea hem wanfala pioneer.”
Plande Jehovah’s Witness long Africa tu showimaot olketa balance abaotem diswan. Long samfala ples, plande taem olketa relative laek for kasem staka selen bifor olketa arrangem bride-price. And for mek sure man savve kasem wanfala waef, olketa maet askem datfala man wea laek marit for peim bride-price for young brata bilong gele wea bae hem maritim.
Bat tingim example bilong Kossi and waef bilong hem, Mara. Dota bilong tufala, Beboko, maritim wanfala traveling overseer. Bifor tufala hia marit, olketa relative laekem hae bride-price. For kasem share bilong olketa, olketa barava putim hevi long dadi and mami bilong Beboko. Bat dadi and mami hia disaed strong and no followim wanem olketa talem. Tufala story gud witim man wea laek maritim dota bilong tufala and askem smol bride-price wea fitim, and then givim go bak haf long tufala wea bae marit for helpem tufala redi for wedding day.
Nara gud example long datfala sem kantri hem wanfala young Witness, Itongo. Firstaem, famili bilong hem askem bride-price wea fitim. Bat olketa relative barava laek for apim bride-price. Evri samting barava hard, and luk olsem olketa relative bae win. Nomata Itongo hem kwaet gele nomoa, hem standap and showimaot respect taem hem talem stret hao olsem olketa arrangem finis, hem disaed strong for maritim Sanze wea hem wanfala strong Christian. Then hem no fraet for sei, “Mbi ke” (wea minim, “Samting ia hem set nao”) and hem sidaon. Mami bilong hem, Sambeko wea hem wanfala Christian nao sapotim hem. Olketa no talem eni samting moa, and tufala marit olsem hao olketa arrangem firstaem.
Olketa Christian dadi and mami wea showimaot love tingim nara samting wea winim wanem olketa seleva savve kasem from bride-price. Wanfala hasband long Cameroon hem sei: “Mami-in-law bilong mi savve talem mi evritaem hao mi mas peim nomoa samting wea dota bilong hem needim from selen wea mi laek givim olsem bride-price.” Olketa dadi and mami showimaot love tu taem olketa interest long spiritual saed bilong pikinini. Tingim Farai and Rudo, wea stap long Zimbabwe, tufala iusim plande taem for preachim gud nius abaotem Kingdom bilong God. Nomata tufala no waka for selen, tufala letem tufala dota bilong tufala for marit and askem smol bride-price taem olketa markem witim normal bride price wea pipol askem. Why nao tufala duim olsem? Tufala laekem tufala dota hia for maritim olketa man wea barava lovem Jehovah mekem tufala kasem gudfala samting. Tufala sei olsem: “Mifala tingim spiritual saed bilong olketa dota and son-in-law bilong mifala olsem samting wea barava important.” Datwan barava gud tumas! Olketa in-law wea showimaot love and lukaftarem spiritual and physical saed bilong olketa pikinini wea marit finis fit for kasem praise.
Gud Samting wea Kamaot From Wei for Balance
Joseph and Mae from Solomon Islands kasem blessing bikos tufala kaen and tingting gud taem tufala arrangem marit bilong olketa dota bilong tufala. From diswan, olketa son-in-law bilong tufala no garem kaon. So tufala dota witim hasband bilong tufala fit for duim full-taem waka for talemaot Kingdom message. Taem Joseph ting bak, hem sei: “Samting wea mifala famili disaedem nao mekem mifala kasem olketa richfala blessing. Hem tru, samfala taem mifala kasem hard taem from olketa wea no minim, bat mi garem gudfala conscience and satisfae for lukim olketa pikinini bilong mi busy and strong long service bilong Jehovah. Olketa hapi, and mitufala tu barava hapi.”
Nara gudfala samting, hem nao wei for fren gud tugeta witim olketa in-law. Tingim Zondai and Sibusiso wea serve long Zimbabwe branch olsem olketa volunteer witim waef bilong tufala, wea tufala really sista. Dadi-in-law bilong tufala, Dakarai, hem wanfala pioneer and hem no waka for selen. Hem sei bae hem acceptim nomoa wanem olketa savve givim taem olketa arrangem bride-price. Zondai and Sibusiso sei: “Mitufala barava lovem dadi-in-law bilong mitufala, and mitufala bae duim evri samting wea mitufala fit for duim for helpem hem sapos need kamap.”
Tru nao, wei for balance long taem for arrangem bride-price bae mekem famili hapi. Datwan bae helpem tufala wea just marit for no garem kaon and bae hem moa isi for tufala getius long marit laef bilong tufala. Diswan helpem plande young wan for aftarem olketa spiritual samting, olsem wei for serve full-taem long important waka for preach and helpem pipol for kamap disaepol. And tu, diswan bae givim glory long Datwan wea startim marit, Jehovah God.—Matthew 24:14; 28:19, 20.
OLKETA GIVIM BAK BRIDE-PRICE
Long samfala ples, sapos bride-price hem low, bae pipol luk daonem gele wea marit and dadi and mami bilong hem. Dastawe, praod fasin and feeling for apim nem bilong famili savve mekem samfala for askem hae bride-price. Wanfala famili long Lagos, Nigeria, showimaot gudfala example wea difren. Son-in-law bilong olketa, Dele, hem sei:
“Famili bilong waef bilong mi no putim hevi long mi for followim olketa kastom wea sapotim bride-price, olsem wei for baem kaleko wea kost tumas. And tu, taem famili bilong mi tekem go bride-price long olketa, man wea toktok for olketa hem ask olsem: ‘Waswe, iufala laek for tekem gele ia olsem waef or dota?’ Then famili bilong mi sei: ‘Mifala laek for tekem hem olsem dota.’ Then nomoa, olketa givim kam bak datfala bride-price.
“Kam kasem distaem, mi thankiu tumas long olketa in-law bilong mi long hao olketa arrangem marit bilong mitufala. Hem mekem mi tinghae long olketa. Gudfala wei bilong olketa for tinghae long spiritual samting mekem mi tingim olketa olsem really famili. Datwan affectim tu tingting bilong mi abaotem waef bilong mi. Mi gohed for tinghae long hem bikos famili bilong hem duim gudfala samting long mi. Taem mitufala no agree long eni samting, mi no letem datwan for kamap wanfala problem. Taem mi tingim famili bilong waef bilong mi, datfala problem hem kamap smol samting nomoa.
“Famili bilong mi and famili bilong waef bilong mi barava fren gud tugeta. Nomata mitufala marit for tufala year finis, dadi bilong mi gohed for sendem olketa present and kaikai long famili bilong waef bilong mi.”