Help for Olketa Woman wea Partner Killim
WANEM nao iumi savve duim for helpem olketa woman wea safa from raf fasin? First samting, iumi mas minim hard samting wea olketa deal witim. Planti taem man no killim partner long physical wei nomoa. Hem iusim raf toktok for mekem woman fraet, feel iusles and olsem no garem eni protection.
Tingim Roxana, wea story bilong hem stap long firstfala article. Samfala taem hasband bilong hem iusim olketa word olsem samting for faet. Roxana hem sei: “Hem kolem mi olketa nem wea barava daonem mi. Hem sei: ‘Iu nating finisim skul. Hao nao iu savve lukaftarem olketa pikinini sapos mi no stap? Iu wanfala lesy, iusles mami. Waswe, iu tingse gavman bae letem iu keepim olketa pikinini sapos iu lusim mi?’ ”
Hasband bilong Roxana kontrolem hem long wei for keepim evri selen. Hem no letem hem iusim car, and hem ringim hem staka taem long day for chekim wanem nao hem duim. Sapos Roxana talem tingting bilong hem abaotem eni samting, hem kros fogud. From diswan, Roxana hem lane for stap kwaet and no talem tingting bilong hem.
Olsem iumi luksavve, staka samting nao insaed disfala subject abaotem wei wea man killim partner. For givim encouragement and help, iumi mas lisin witim fasin for kea. No forget, planti taem hem barava hard for woman wea safa for story abaotem samting wea kasem hem. Goal bilong iu shud for strongim hem taem hem deal witim diswan long taem wea hem feel fit.
Samfala maet need for lukaotem help from sekson bilong gavman wea deal witim diswan. Samfala taem, wanfala big samting—olsem taem police kam long haos—savve mekem raf man for luksavve hao fasin bilong hem barava nogud. Bat, tru tumas, planti taem feeling for changem wei bilong hem savve lus taem evri samting go ahed olsem bifor.
Waswe, waef shud lusim hasband wea killim hem? Long Bible, wei for separate hem serious samting. Bat, hem no forcem wanfala waef for stap witim hasband wea killim hem wea putim health and maet laef bilong hem tu long danger. Christian aposol Paul hem raet olsem: “Sapos hem lusim hem, hem mas no marit moa or hem mas go bak moa long hasband bilong hem.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-16) From Bible no tambuim wei for stap separate sapos barava nogud samting hem happen, hem saed bilong datfala woman for disaedem wanem hem bae duim. (Galatians 6:5) No eniwan shud encouragem wanfala waef for lusim hasband bilong hem, bat no eniwan shud forcem wanfala woman for stap witim man wea killim hem taem health, laef, and spiritual saed bilong hem stap long danger.
Waswe, Man wea Killim Partner Savve Change?
For spoelem partner hem barava againstim olketa Bible principle. Iumi savve readim long Ephesians 4:29, 31: “No letem rotten toktok kamaot from mouth bilong iufala . . . Aotem evri nogud fasin for againstim man and kros and fasin for singaot and tokspoelem narawan from iufala witim evri wicked fasin.”
No eni hasband wea sei hem followim Christ savve sei hem lovem waef bilong hem sapos hem spoelem hem. Sapos hem deal witim waef bilong hem long nogud wei, evri nara gud waka bilong hem bae iusles. Wanfala “man for faet” no kasem mark for olketa spesol privilege insaed long Christian kongregeson. (1 Timothy 3:3; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Tru tumas, eniwan wea sei hem wanfala Christian wea garem fasin for kros and hem no repent, savve disfellowship from Christian kongregeson.—Galatians 5:19-21; 2 John 9, 10.
Waswe, olketa man wea raf savve changem fasin bilong olketa? Samfala change finis. Bat, planti taem only wei for hem change hem sapos hem (1) luksavve hao fasin bilong hem no stret, (2) want for changem wei bilong hem, and (3) lukaotem help. Olketa Jehovah’s Witness luksavve hao Bible savve garem paoa for changem man. Planti wea interest and studyim Bible witim olketa gogo garem strongfala feeling for laek mekem God hapi. Olketa niu Bible student hia lanem hao Jehovah God “hem barava heitim eniwan wea lovem raf fasin.” (Psalm 11:5) Hem tru, for man olsem for change hem mas duim moa samting, no just finis for hitim waef nomoa. Hem mas lane tu for garem niu tingting abaotem waef bilong hem.
Taem wanfala man hem kasem savve abaotem God, hem lane for no tingim waef bilong hem olsem wanfala servant, bat olsem wanfala “helper” and no olsem samwan wea low, bat samwan wea hem mas ‘honorim.’ (Genesis 2:18; 1 Peter 3:7) Hem lanem tu fasin for kea and for lisin long tingting bilong waef bilong hem. (Genesis 21:12; Ecclesiastes 4:1) Program for studyim Bible wea Olketa Jehovah’s Witness offerim hem helpem planti hasband and waef. Hem barava no fitim for man insaed Christian famili for raf, or mekem pipol fraet.—Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29.
“Word bilong God hem laef and garem paoa.” (Hebrews 4:12) Dastawe, wisdom insaed Bible savve helpem hasband and waef for ting raonem olketa problem tufala feisim and strongim olketa for deal witim. Winim datwan, Bible garem trufala hope wea givim comfort for iumi lukim wanfala world wea no eni raf fasin stap taem King bilong Jehovah long heven hem rul ovarem olketa man wea obey. Bible hem sei: “Hem bae sevem poor wan wea krae for help, and tu, man wea safa and eniwan wea needim help. From hardfala living and raf fasin hem bae baem bak soul bilong olketa.”—Psalm 72:12, 14.
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Hem barava no fitim for man insaed Christian famili for raf, or mekem pipol fraet
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Stretem Olketa Rong Idea
• Waef mas kasem blame for wei wea hasband killim hem.
Planti man wea killim waef no acceptim blame, olketa sei waef nao mekem olketa kros. Samfala fren bilong famili tu maet acceptim idea hao waef hem hard for deal witim, dastawe hasband no savve bossim kros bilong hem samfala taem. Bat hem olsem olketa blamem wan wea safa and mek excuse for wan wea attakim hem. For tok stret, planti taem olketa waef trae hard tumas for daonem kros bilong hasband. Tru nao, nomata wanem samting hem happen, no eni excuse stap for killim partner. Datfala buk, The Batterer—A Psychological Profile hem sei: “Olketa man wea kot sendem for kasem treatment from olketa killim waef, olketa lovem tumas raf fasin. Olketa iusim diswan olsem wei for aotem kros and sorre, wei for kasem kontrol and stretem raoa, and for daonem hevi saed long feeling. . . . Planti taem, olketa nating luksavve olketa guilty or tinghevi long datfala problem.”
• Alcohol mekem man killim waef bilong hem.
Hem tru, samfala man moa raf taem olketa drink. Bat, waswe, hem stret for blamem datfala alcohol? Long buk bilong hem, When Violence Begins at Home, K. J. Wilson hem sei: “Taem man hem drunk, hem blamem datwan, and no hemseleva, for fasin bilong hem.” Hem sei moa: “Hem luk olsem long community bilong iumi, hem moa isi for iumi minim raf fasin insaed famili taem man wea drunk nao hem duim. Woman wea partner killim hem no tingim hem olsem man wea spoelem hem, bat olsem man wea drink tumas or man wea depend long alcohol.” Wilson hem sei hao, kaen tingting olsem savve mekem woman garem false hope hao “sapos datfala man finis for drink nomoa, datfala raf fasin bae stop.”
Distaem, planti man for research tingse wei for drink and for killim partner, olketa tufala difren problem. Hem bikos big haf bilong olketa man wea garem problem saed long alcohol or olketa drug, no killim partner bilong olketa. Olketa wea raetem datfala buk When Men Batter Women sei: “Samting wea mekem man go ahed for killim waef bilong hem, hem from hem win for kontrolem, bossim, and mekem woman wea hem killim hem fraet. . . . Wei for iusim alcohol and drug hem part long living bilong man wea killim partner. Bat hem rong for tingse wei wea hem iusim alcohol or drug nao kosim datfala raf fasin.”
• Olketa raf man, raf long evriwan.
Planti taem man wea killim partner hem savve fren gud tumas witim nara pipol. Hem barava changem fasin bilong hem. Dastawe olketa fren bilong datfala famili maet no savve bilivim story abaotem raf fasin bilong hem. Bat, tru samting nao hem hao man wea killim waef hem iusim raf fasin olsem wei for bossim waef bilong hem.
• Olketa woman acceptim wei wea olketa man spoelem olketa.
Luk olsem diskaen idea hem kam from wei for no minim problem bilong woman wea no garem eni ples for ranawe long hem. Maet hem garem olketa fren wea hem savve stap witim for wan or tufala week, bat wanem bae hem duim bihaen? For ting for faendem waka and peim rent taem hem lukaftarem olketa pikinini savve mekem hem feel wikdaon. And law maet tambuim wei for ranawe witim olketa pikinini. Hasband bilong samfala wea trae for ranawe go bihaenem olketa and forcem or switim olketa for kam bak. Olketa fren wea no savve minim diswan maet mistek for biliv olketa woman olsem acceptim wei wea olketa man spoelem olketa.