Tufela Key for Marit Stap Olawe

1, 2. (a) Marit hem for hao long? (b) Hao nao diswan savvy kamap?

TAEM God joinim firstfela man and woman long marit, no eni samting show aot tufela bae stap tugeta for lelebet taem nomoa. Adam and Eve bae stap tugeta for full laef bilong them. (Genesis 2:24) Mark bilong God for marit wea garem honor hem for wanfela man and wanfela woman join tugeta long marit. Only sapos wanfela or tufela duim barava dirty fasin, then Scripture say they savvy divorce and marit moa.—Matthew 5:32.

² Waswe, tufela pipol fit for stap hapi tugeta for longtaem? Yes, and Bible hem story abaotem tufela important samting, or key, wea savvy helpem them duim diswan. Sapos hasband and waef iusim tufela samting hia, they bae kasem hapi and planti blessing. Wanem nao tufela key hia?

FIRSTFELA KEY

3. Wanem nao threefela kaen love wea tufela wea marit mas mekem grow?

³ Firstfela key hem love. Bible hem story abaotem olketa different kaen love. Wanfela hem way for garem feeling for samwan, love wea olketa klos fren they garem for each other. (John 11:3) Narafela love hem midlwan long olketa famili member. (Romans 12:10) Mek-three hem love wea samwan garem for narafela man or woman. (Proverbs 5:15-20) Yes, hasband and waef mas mekem grow olketa love hia. But, mek-foa love hem stap, wea moa important winim olketa other wan.

4. Wanem nao mek-foa love?

⁴ Taem they raetem olketa Kristian Greek Scripture, word wea they iusim for mek-foa love hem a·gaʹpe. Datfela word hem long 1 John 4:8, wea say: “God hem love.” Tru nao, “iumi show aot love, bikos [God] love-im iumi firstaem.” (1 John 4:19) Kristian hem mekem grow diskaen love for Jehovah God firstaem and then for otherfela man. (Mark 12:29-31) They iusim tu datfela word a·gaʹpe long Ephesians 5:2, wea say: “Go ahed for wakabaot long love, olsem Kraest tu hem love-im iufela and givim hemseleva for iufela.” Jesus say diskaen love nao bae hem mark bilong olketa trufela follower bilong hem: “From disfela samting evriwan bae savvy iufela nao olketa disaepol bilong mi, sapos iufela garem love [a·gaʹpe] midlwan long iufela seleva.” (John 13:35) Lukim tu hao 1 Corinthians 13:13 iusim a·gaʹpe: “Threefela samting nomoa they stap, hem nao faith, hope, love; but love [a·gaʹpe] nao hem winim evriwan.”

5, 6. (a) Why nao love hem winim faith and hope? (b) Wanem nao samfela reason why love bae help for mekem marit stap olawe?

⁵ Wanem nao mekem disfela a·gaʹpe love hem winim faith and hope? Hem followim olketa principle—stretfela principle—wea stap insaed Word bilong God. (Psalm 119:105) Hem way for no selfish for deal withim pipol long way wea hem stret and gud long tingting bilong God, nomata hem luk olsem datfela man no fit for kasem datwan. Love olsem hem mekem tufela wea marit for followim disfela kaonsel long Bible: “Go ahed for show aot patient fasin long each other and forgivim each other sapos eniwan garem samting for complain abaot. Olsem Jehovah forgivim iufela, iufela mas duim olsem tu.” (Colossians 3:13) Loving hasband and waef garem and mekem grow “strongfela love [a·gaʹpe] for [each other], from love hem kavarem planti sin.” (1 Peter 4:8) Lukim hao love hem kavarem planti mistek. Hem no finisim them, from no eni man wea no perfect hem free from way for mekem mistek.—Psalm 130:3, 4; James 3:2.

⁶ Taem hasband and waef mekem grow love olsem for God and for each other, marit bilong them bae stap for olawe and bae they hapi, from “love hem nating savvy fail.” (1 Corinthians 13:8) Love hem “perfect way for garem wan mind.” (Colossians 3:14) Sapos iu marit finis, hao nao iu and partner bilong iu savvy mekem grow diskaen love? Readim Word bilong God tugeta, and story abaotem. Studyim example bilong Jesus for showim aot love and trae for followim hem, for tingting and duim samting olsem hem. And tu, attendim olketa Kristian meeting, wea they teachim Word bilong God. And prea for God helpem iu for mekem grow disfela nambawan love, wea hem wanfela fruit bilong holy spirit bilong God.—Proverbs 3:5, 6; John 17:3; Galatians 5:22; Hebrews 10:24, 25.

MEK-TU KEY

7. Wanem nao respect, and hu nao mas showim aot respect insaed long marit?

⁷ Sapos tufela wea marit they really love-im each other, then bae they garem respect for each other, and respect nao hem mek-tu key for hapi marit. Meaning bilong respect hem “for tingim pipol, honorim them.” Word bilong God givim kaonsel long evri Kristian, and olketa hasband and waef tu: “Iufela mas lead for showim aot honor long each other.” (Romans 12:10) Aposol Peter hem raet olsem: “Iufela hasband, go ahed for stap long sem way withim [waef bilong iufela] long way wea fitim savvy, givim honor long them olsem wanfela samting wea hem no strong tumas, wanfela woman.” (1 Peter 3:7) Waef kasem kaonsel for “garem bigfela respect for hasband bilong hem.” (Ephesians 5:33) Sapos iu want for honorim samwan, iu kaen long datfela man, respectim feeling and tingting bilong hem, and ready for duim eni samting wea hem askim iu for duim.

8-10. Wanem nao samfela way wea respect bae help for mekem marit strong and hapi?

⁸ Olketa wea want for garem hapi marit showim aot respect for partner bilong them taem they “no interest long samting bilong [themseleva] nomoa, but interest long samting bilong [partner bilong them] tu.” (Philippians 2:4) They no tingim samting wea gud for olketa seleva nomoa—wea hem selfish way. But, they bae tingim samting wea gud for partner bilong them. Tru nao, datwan nao barava important.

⁹ Respect bae helpem tufela wea marit for acceptim different tingting bilong each other. Hem no stret for say tufela bae garem sem tingting long evri samting. Samting wea important long hasband maet no important tumas long waef, and samting wea waef laekem maet hasband no laekem. But each wan mas respectim tingting and samting wea narawan hem choosim, sapos olketa samting hia no againstim olketa law and principle bilong Jehovah. (1 Peter 2:16; lukim Philemon 14.) And tu, each wan mas respectim feeling bilong narawan long way for no talem eni toktok or mek funny wea daonem hem, long pablik or taem tufela stap seleva tu.

¹⁰ Yes, love for God and for each other and way for respectim each other they tufela important key for garem gudfela marit. Hao nao iu savvy duim diswan long samfela important part bilong marit laef?

HEDSHIP WEA FOLLOWIM KRAEST

11. Olsem Bible talem, hu nao hed insaed long wanfela marit?

¹¹ Bible say God create-im man withim olketa fasin wea bae mekem hem kamap gudfela hed bilong famili. From diswan, man nao garem responsibility front long Jehovah for luk aftarem spiritual and physical saed bilong waef and olketa pikinini bilong hem. Hem mas decide-im olketa samting long balance way for followim will bilong Jehovah, and show aot gudfela example long way for followim fasin bilong God. “Letem olketa waef stap under long hasband bilong them olsem long Lord, from hasband hem hed bilong waef bilong hem olsem Kraest tu hem hed bilong kongregeson.” (Ephesians 5:22, 23) But, Bible say hasband tu garem wanfela hed, Samwan wea garem paoa ovarem hem. Aposol Paul raet: “Mi wantim iufela for savvy hed bilong evri man hem Kraest; hed bilong woman hem man; and hed bilong Kraest hem God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3) Wisefela hasband hem learn hao for showim aot hedship bilong hem taem hem followim hed bilong hemseleva, Kraest Jesus.

12. Wanem gudfela example nao Jesus showim aot long way for stap under and for showim aot hedship?

¹² Jesus tu garem wanfela hed, Jehovah, and hem stap under long Hem. Jesus hem say: “Mi lukaotem, no will bilong miseleva, but will bilong dat wan wea sendem mi kam.” (John 5:30) Hem nambawan example! Jesus hem “firstborn bilong olketa creation.” (Colossians 1:15) Hem kamap Messiah. Hem kamap Hed bilong kongregeson bilong olketa anointed Kristian and King wea God choosim for Kingdom bilong hem, wea winim evri angel. (Philippians 2:9-11; Hebrews 1:4) Nomata hem garem haefela position olsem, taem Jesus stap long earth, hem willing for change, and hem no raf or no askim tumas samting long pipol. Hem no iusim paoa long rongfela way and evritaem talem olketa disaepol bilong hem for obeyim hem. Jesus showim aot love and garem feeling for pipol, main wan nao olketa wea pipol spoelem. Hem say: “Kam long mi, iufela evriwan wea work hard tumas and karem bigfela hevi, and mi nao bae strongim iufela. Karem yoke bilong mi and learnim samting from mi, from mi garem kwaet fasin and mi humble long heart, and iufela bae faendem samting for strongim soul bilong iufela. From yoke bilong mi hem kaenfela and load bilong mi hem no hevi.” (Matthew 11:28-30) Pipol hapi for kampani withim hem.

13, 14. Hao nao loving hasband showim aot hedship bilong hem long way wea followim Jesus?

¹³ Hasband wea wantim hapi famili laef bae kasem gudfela samting sapos hem tingting long olketa gudfela fasin bilong Jesus. Gudfela hasband hem no raf and want for olsem hardfela boss, iusim hedship bilong hem olsem samting for bossim waef bilong hem. But, hem love-im and honorim hem. Sapos Jesus hem “humble long heart,” hasband garem moa reason for olsem tu from hem savvy mekem mistek, but Jesus hem perfect. Taem hem mekem mistek, hem needim waef bilong hem for meanim hem. So, hasband wea humble bae talemaot mistek bilong hem, nomata disfela toktok, “Mi sorry tumas; iu nao stret,” maet hem hard samting for talem. Waef bae faendem hem moa easy for respectim hedship bilong hasband wea humble winim wan wea praod and bighed. And tu, waef wea showim aot respect bae say sorry tu taem hem rong.

¹⁴ God create-im woman withim olketa gudfela fasin wea hem savvy iusim for mekem hapi marit. Wisefela hasband bae luksavvy long diswan and no trae for stopem hem. Planti woman garem bigfela feeling and fasin for feel sorry, and diswan hem samting wea they needim for luk aftarem famili and for fren withim pipol. Planti taem, woman hem savvy hao for mekem haos kamap nicefela ples for stap. “Gudfela waef” wea Proverbs chapter 31 story abaot hem garem planti nambawan fasin and savvy duim gudfela samting, and diswan barava helpem famili bilong hem. Why? Bikos hasband bilong hem “trustim hem.”—Proverbs 31:10, 11.

15. Hao nao hasband savvy showim aot love and respect for waef bilong hem olsem Kraest?

¹⁵ Long samfela kastom, they mek hae tumas long paoa wea hasband garem, so way for askim hem wanfela kwestin hem olsem for no showim aot respect. Hem savvy deal withim waef bilong hem klosap olsem wanfela slave. Rongfela way for showim aot hedship olsem hem mekem hasband no fren gud withim waef bilong hem and withim God tu. (Lukim 1 John 4:20,21.) Long narafela saed, samfela hasband les for lead, they letem waef bilong them nao for bossim famili. Hasband wea stap under long Kraest long proper way hem no spoelem waef bilong hem or aotem respect bilong hem. But, hem followim Jesus wea showim aot love for sakrifaesim seleva and hem duim samting wea Paul talem: “Olketa hasband, go ahed for love-im waef bilong iufela, olsem Kraest tu hem love-im kongregeson and givim laef bilong hem for kongregeson.” (Ephesians 5:25) Kraest Jesus love-im tumas olketa follower bilong hem dastawe hem dae for olketa. Gudfela hasband bae trae for followim datkaen fasin wea no selfish, duim gudfela samting for waef, winim way for askim hem tumas samting. Taem hasband hem stap under long Kraest and showim aot love and respect olsem Kraest, diswan bae muvim waef bilong hem for stap under long hem.—Ephesians 5:28, 29,33.

WAEF WEA STAP UNDER

16. Wanem nao olketa fasin wea waef mas showim aot long way wea hem fren withim hasband bilong hem?

¹⁶ Bihaen hem create-im Adam, “Jehovah God hem say moa: ‘Hem no gud for man go ahed for stap seleva. Mi bae workim wanfela helper for hem and for balance-im hem.’” (Genesis 2:18) God create-im Eve “for balance-im hem,” no for trae and winim hem. Marit hem no olsem wanfela ship wea garem tufela kapten. Hasband mas showim aot loving hedship, and waef mas showim aot love, respect, and willing for stap under.

17, 18. Wanem nao samfela way wea waef savvy really kamap helper for hasband bilong hem?

¹⁷ But, gudfela waef hem duim moa samting winim way for stap under nomoa. Hem trae for barava helpem hasband, for supportim hasband bilong hem long olketa samting wea hem decide-im. Yes, datwan hem moa easy for hem taem hem agree withim olketa samting wea hasband decide-im. But nomata long taem hem no agree, way wea hem work tugeta withim hasband and for supportim hem, savvy helpem samting wea hasband decide-im for win.

¹⁸ Waef savvy helpem hasband bilong hem for kamap gudfela hed long otherfela way tu. Hem savvy talemaot hao hem ting hae long samting wea hasband duim for lead, winim way for tok againstim or mekem hem ting waef kanduit for satisfy. Taem hem deal withim hasband bilong hem long gudfela way, hem mas remember hao “kwaetfela spirit” hem samting “wea God barava ting hae long hem,” no just hasband bilong hem. (1 Peter 3:3, 4; Colossians 3:12) Waswe sapos hasband hem man wea no believe? Nomata hem believe or no moa, olketa Scripture encouragim olketa waef “for love-im hasband bilong them, for love-im pikinini bilong them, for garem gudfela tingting, klin long fasin, duim work long haos, gudfela, stap under long hasband bilong olketa seleva, mekem no eniwan savvy tok spoelem word bilong God.” (Titus 2:4,5) Sapos samfela samting wea againstim conscience kamap, hasband wea no believe maet respectim samting wea waef bilong hem decide-im sapos waef story long hem withim “humble fasin and bigfela respect.” For samfela hasband wea no believe, waef “savvy winim them, no long toktok, but thru long fasin bilong waef bilong them, from olketa lukim klinfela fasin [bilong them] withim way for barava show aot respect.”—1 Peter 3:1, 2,15; 1 Corinthians 7:13-16.

19. Waswe sapos hasband askim waef bilong hem for brekem law bilong God?

¹⁹ Waswe sapos hasband askim waef bilong hem for duim samting wea God tambuim? Sapos datwan happen, waef mas remember God nao nambawan Ruler bilong hem. Hem mas followim samting wea olketa aposol duim taem olketa long gavman askim them for duim samting wea againstim law bilong God. Acts 5:29 say: “Peter and olketa otherfela aposol they ansa olsem: ‘Mifela mas obeyim God olsem ruler, winim man.’”

GUDFELA WAY FOR STORY TUGETA

20. Wanem nao wanfela area wea love and respect they important?

²⁰ Love and respect they important long narafela part bilong marit—way for story tugeta. Loving hasband bae story withim waef bilong hem abaotem samting wea hem duim, problem bilong hem and tingting bilong waef abaotem samfela samting. Waef bilong hem needim diswan. Hasband showim aot love and respect for waef bilong hem taem hem spendem taem for story and really listen long hem. (James 1:19) Samfela waef complain abaotem way wea hasband bilong them spendem lelebet taem nomoa for story withim them. Datwan hem no mas gud. Hem tru, long disfela taem wea evriwan busy, olketa hasband maet work for planti hour, and from need hem kamap long saed bilong shilling, samfela waef tu mas work for shilling. But hasband and waef need for markem taem for each other. Sapos no moa, they maet kamap independent. Diswan savvy lead go long bigfela problem sapos they lukaotem way for fren withim samwan wea no partner bilong them.

21. Hao nao gudfela way for story savvy help for keepim marit hapi?

²¹ Way wea waef and hasband story tugeta hem important. “Gudfela toktok they . . . sweet long soul and they healim olketa bone.” (Proverbs 16:24) Nomata sapos wanfela partner hem believe or no moa, disfela kaonsel bilong Bible hem fitim: “Letem toktok bilong iufela hem gudfela evritaem, olsem withim salt,” wea meanim toktok wea fitim. (Colossians 4:6) Taem man hem havem hardfela day, fewfela kaenfela toktok from partner bilong hem savvy mekem hem feel gud tumas. “Toktok wea iu talem long barava taem bilong hem, hem olsem olketa gold apple wea stap long wanfela silver carving.” (Proverbs 25:11) Sound bilong voice and olketa word wea iu talem they barava important. For example, wanfela maet tok olsem long strongfela way: “Satem datfela door!” But sapos hem talem olketa toktok hia “olsem withim salt” long kwaet voice wea show aot feeling, hem savvy say, “Iu savvy satem door please?”

22. Wanem kaen tingting nao hasband and waef needim for keepim gudfela way for story tugeta?

²² Gudfela way for story tugeta hem grow taem tufela toktok long kwaet way, luk long each other, showim aot kaenfela fasin, way for meanim each other, and feeling. Taem they work hard for keepim gudfela way for story tugeta, hasband and waef bae feel free for talemaot need bilong tufela long each other, and they savvy givim comfort and help long each other taem narawan feel sorry or kasem hevi. “Tok kaen long olketa soul wea feel sorry,” Word bilong God hem say. (1 Thessalonians 5:14) Samfela taem hasband bae feel sorry and samfela taem waef tu bae feel olsem. They savvy “tok kaen,” and buildim ap each other.—Romans 15:2.

23, 24. Hao nao love and respect bae help taem way for no agree hem kamap? Givim wanfela example.

²³ Hasband and waef wea showim aot love and respect bae no ting long way wea they no agree long samting olsem wanfela bigfela problem. They bae trae hard for no “kros tumas” withim each other. (Colossians 3:19) Tufela evriwan mas remember “kwaetfela ansa hem stopem kros.” (Proverbs 15:1) Mas careful for no mek funny or tok spoelem partner wea talemaot olketa feeling insaed heart bilong hem. But, ting long diswan olsem chance for savvy gud long tingting bilong hem. Work tugeta for trae for stretem eni samting wea iu tufela no agree long hem.

²⁴ Tingim taem wea Sarah talem hasband bilong hem Abraham ansa for wanfela problem, but hem no agree withim datwan. But God say long Abraham: “Listen long toktok bilong hem.” (Genesis 21:9-12) Abraham followim datwan, and hem kasem blessing. Long sem way tu, sapos wanfela waef talem idea wea different from tingting bilong hasband bilong hem, hasband mas trae for listen. Long semtaem, waef mas no trae for win long story but mas listen long samting wea hasband bilong hem want for talem. (Proverbs 25:24) Sapos hasband or waef evritaem wantim samting wea hem talem for mas win, diswan show aot hem no garem love and no showim aot respect.

25. Hao nao gudfela way for story tugeta bae help for mekem hapi kamap long saed bilong sex insaed long marit?

²⁵ Way for story gud tugeta hem important midlwan long hasband and waef long saed bilong sex. Selfish fasin and way for no bossim seleva savvy barava spoelem disfela barava klos samting insaed long marit. Way for free for toktok, and patient fasin, hem barava important. Taem each wan hem no selfish and lukaotem gudfela samting bilong narawan, planti taem sex hem no kamap bigfela problem. Long diswan and long otherfela samting, “letem each wan go ahed for lukaotem, no gudfela samting bilong hemseleva nomoa, but bilong narafela man tu.”—1 Corinthians 7:3-5; 10:24.

26.Nomata evri marit bae kasem gudfela and badfela taem, hao nao way for listen long Word bilong God bae helpem tufela wea marit for faendem hapi?

²⁶ Word bilong God hem givim nambawan kaonsel! Hem tru, evri marit bae kasem gudfela and badfela taem. But taem hasband and waef followim tingting bilong Jehovah, olsem samting wea Bible talem, and way wea they fren hem followim principle bilong love and respect, they savvy sure hao marit bilong them bae stap for olawe and bae hapi. Then they bae honorim each other and Man Wea Startim marit tu, Jehovah God.