Hao for Avoidim “Gray Divorce”

Lo United States, between 1990 and 2015, divorce rate blo olketa wea winim 50 years hem dabol, and hem triple for olketa wea winim 65 years. Olketa researcher inventim disfala phrase “gray divorce,” for describem namba blo olketa divorce case blo olo couple wea hem gohed for increase. Wat nao kosim “gray divorce”? Wat nao iu savve duim mekem iu savve protectim marit blo iu for no kasem datwan?

Lo disfala article

• Wat nao kosim gray divorce?

• Wat iu savve duim

• Discussion guide

Wat nao kosim gray divorce?

• Staka taem, reason why olketa couple divorce taem olketa olo hem bikos relationship blo tufala hem no strong olsem bifor. Taem olketa year go pas, samfala hasband and waef start for interest lo difren tings and no duim tings tugeta. Or afta olketa pikinini growap and lusim haos, wanfala couple maet realizim dat tufala bin focus lo role blo dadi and mami for longtaem and forgetim hao for kamap wanfala gud hasband and waef.

• Lo olketa years wea go pas, samfala wea pipol ting lo olketa olsem expert for givim marit advaes talem olketa hasband and waef for each wan mas focus lo need blo hemseleva nomoa. Olketa advaesem olketa couple for ting raonem olketa kwestin hia: ‘Hao, marit blo mi hem mekem mi hapi?’ ‘Hao, hem mekem mi beta person?’ ‘Hao, spouse blo mi hem givim wat mi needim lo emotional saed?’ If ansa for olketa kwestin hia hem no, staka sei iu shud duim wat hem best for iuseleva, hem nao for divorce and startim wanfala niu laef.

• Distaem staka pipol no ting lo divorce olsem bad samting. Wanfala sociologist, Eric Klinenberg, hem raet olsem: “Lo bifor, taem samwan no hapi lo spouse blo hem and laek for divorce, hem mas garem gud reason for datfala disison. Distaem hem opposite: If marit blo iu hem mekem iu for no hapi then iu mas garem gud reason for why iu gohed stap insaed lo datfala marit, bikos lo tingting blo staka pipol hem important for duim nomoa wat hem best for iuseleva.”a

Hem tru, staka taem divorce hem no finisim olketa problem bat hem creatim olketa niu problem. For example, wanfala research showim dat “gray divorce hem staka taem kosim big financial problem, especially for olketa woman.”

Nara samting for tingim. “Iu savve startim wanfala niu laef, bat iu still sem person,” hem nao wat datfala buk Don’t Divorce, hem talem. “Hao, iu duim eniting for impruvim saed lo wei for communicate wea hem wanfala problem wea iu bin garem witim spouse blo iu? Wat nao iu duim for changem hao iu deal witim problem?”b

Wat iu savve duim

• Acceptim change. No eni relationship hem stay semsem. Maet relationship blo iu witim spouse blo iu hem change bikos olketa pikinini blo iutufala big finis and lusim haos, or bikos iutufala start for interest lo olketa difren tings. Instead for iu wish nomoa dat evriting hem semsem olsem bifor, hem gud for iu ting abaotem hao for impruvim olketa tings distaem.

  

  Bible principle: “Iu no sei, ‘Why nao bifor hem beta winim distaem?’ bikos hem no wise for iu tok olsem.”—Ecclesiastes 7:10.

• Gohed for fren klos witim each other. Hao, iu interest lo wat nao spouse blo iu hem interest lo hem distaem, or iu helpem hem for interest tu lo wat iu interest lo hem? Hao, iu savve mekem wanfala niu activity wea iutufala evriwan enjoyim? Goal hem for iutufala shud spendem taem tugeta, mekem iutufala no just live tugeta bat iutufala marit partner blo each other.

  

  Bible principle: “Man mas no tingim hemseleva nomoa, bat hem mas tingim nara pipol tu.”—1 Corinth 10:24.

• Continue for showim gud manners. No stop for showim gud manners lo each other just bikos iutufala stap tugeta for staka years finis. Showim respect taem iu story lo spouse blo iu, and trae for showim olketa gud manners wea iu showim taem iutufala dating. Sei “plis” and “thankiu.” Evriday talem dat iu lovem hem, and showim dat iu appreciatim olketa tings wea hem duim for iu.

  

  Bible principle: “Iufala mas kaen long narawan and sorre long hem.”—Ephesus 4:32.

• Tingim olketa gud memory. Hem gud for iutufala lukluk lo olketa photo lo wedding blo iutufala, or lukluk lo olketa photo blo other tings wea iutufala duim tugeta. If iutufala duim diswan, bae hem help for iutufala for continue, or strongim bak, love and respect lo marit blo iutufala.

  

  Bible principle: “Evriwan long iufala mas lovem waef bilong hem olsem hem lovem hemseleva, and tu, waef mas barava respectim hasband bilong hem.”—Ephesus 5:33.