Ingene woba sebibondo mwiza

“Ni igiki ga yemwe ntakoze neza?” Ico kibazo caguma kibuza amahoro sebibondo umwe yitwa Michaela wo muri Afrika y’Epfo. Nta ko atari yarakoze ngo abe sebibondo mwiza, ariko igihe cose yaba yibutse umuhungu wiwe w’ikigaba w’imyaka 19, yaca yibaza ico yari gukora ngo arushirize kuba sebibondo mwiza.

Ariko sebibondo umwe yitwa Terry wo muri Espanye, wewe bisa n’uko vyamugendeye neza. Umuhungu wiwe Andrew avuga ati: “Vyinshi mu bintu vyo mu bwana bwanje nibuka ku bijanye na dawe ni ukuntu yansomera mu gitabu, tugakina, akanjana gutembera, tukamarana umwanya turi babiri gusa. Yatuma ndyoherwa no kwiga ibintu.”

Tuvugishije ukuri, kuba sebibondo mwiza si icoroshe. Mugabo hariho ingingo ngenderwako z’ishimikiro zishobora gufasha. Ba sebibondo benshi basanze bo n’imiryango yabo bahungukira iyo bashize mu ngiro impanuro ziranga ubukerebutsi dusanga muri Bibiliya. Reka twihweze zimwezimwe muri izo mpanuro ngirakamaro zishobora gufasha ba sebibondo.

1. Numarane umwanya n’umuryango wawe

Uhora wereka gute abana bawe ko bafise agaciro? Nta gukeka ko hari ibintu vyinshi ukora ku neza yabo. Nk’akarorero uritanga kugira ngo ubaronse ivyo bafungura be n’uburaro bwiza. Ivyo ntiwobikora mu gihe utoba ubaha agaciro. Ariko hamwe utoza uramarana na bo umwanya uhagije, boshobora guca babona ko utabitaho cane nk’uko witaho ibindi bintu, nk’abagenzi bawe, akazi ukora, canke ivyo kwisamaza.

None ni ryari sebibondo akwiye gutangura kumarana umwanya n’abana biwe? Inabibondo atangura gushikirana n’ikibondo ciwe kuva kikiri mu nda. Haciye nk’indwi 16 umuvyeyi asamye, umwana akiri mu nda arashobora gutangura kwumva. Ico gihe na sebibondo arashobora gutangura gushikirana n’umwana wiwe akiri mu nda. Arashobora kwumviriza ukuntu umutima w’ako kana utera, ukuntu kaza karinyiganza, akakavugisha, akongera akakaririmbira.

Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Mu bihe vya Bibiliya, abagabo ubwabo baragira uruhara mu kwigisha abana babo. Baremeshwa kuza baramarana umwanya n’abana babo, nk’uko Bibiliya ivyerekana mu Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:6, 7 ahagira hati: “Aya majambo ndagutegetse uno musi aze abe ku mutima wawe; kandi uze uyashimangire mu mwana wawe wongere uyage ivyayo igihe wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’igihe ugenda ku nzira, n’igihe uryamye, n’igihe uvyutse.”

2. Sebibondo mwiza arayaga neza n’abana biwe

Kugira ngo uyage neza n’abana bawe, ukwiye kuba umuntu yumviriza yitonze. Urakeneye kwiga kwumviriza udatwarwa n’ishavu.

Igihe abana bawe biyumvira yuko uca unyaruka gushavura no kubatora amahinyu, baragonanwa kukubwira akari ku mutima. Ariko ubateze ugutwi uturuye, uzoba werekanye yuko ubitwararika vy’ukuri. Bizoca vyoroha cane ko baguserurira iryo bagona.

Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Vyaribonekeje ko impanuro ziranga ubukerebutsi dusanga muri Bibiliya ari ngirakamaro mu mice myinshi y’ubuzima bwa misi yose. Nk’akarorero, Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umuntu wese atebuke kwumva, atebe kuvuga, atebe kuraka.” (Yakobo 1:19) Iyo sebibondo ashize mu ngiro ico ciyumviro co muri Bibiliya ararushiriza kuyaga neza n’abana biwe.

3. Nubatoze indero mu rukundo wongere ubakeze

N’igihe uba ubabaye canke ushavuye, uburyo utoza indero umwana wawe bukwiye kwerekana ko umukunda kandi ko urondera ineza yiwe y’igihe kirekire. Ukwo kumutoza indero kurimwo kumuhanura, kumukosora, kumwigisha no kumuhana iyo bikenewe.

Vyongeye, gutoza indero abana birarushiriza kuvamwo ivyiza igihe umuvyeyi yama abakeza. Umugani umwe wa kera uvuga uti: “Kurya kw’ivyamwa vy’amapome y’inzahabu mu duhingurano tw’ifeza, ni ko ijambo rivuzwe ku gihe caryo rimera.” (Imigani 25:11) Gukeza umwana biratuma arushiriza kuba umuntu ameze neza. Igihe abavyeyi bitaho abana babo bakongera bakabereka ko bari n’agaciro, bituma bakura biyumva neza. Igihe sebibondo arondera uturyo two gukeza abana biwe, bituma bumva ko bari n’ico bamaze bikongera bikabaremesha kubandanya bihatira gukora ibibereye.

Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: “Yemwe ba se, ntimuratse abana banyu, kugira ngo ntibavunike umutima.”—Abakolosayi 3:21.

4. Nukunde wongere wubahe umukenyezi wawe

Uburyo sebibondo afata umukenyezi wiwe buragira ico bukoze ku bana. Abahinga bamwe mu bijanye n’ikura ry’umwana basigura bati: “Kimwe mu bintu vyiza cane sebibondo yokorera abana biwe ni ukwubaha nyina wabo. . . . Igihe sebibondo na inabibondo bubahana n’abana bakavyibonera, bituma nya bana bakura bumva ko batekaniwe.”—The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children.b

Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: “Bagabo, mubandanye gukunda abagore banyu . . . Umwe wese muri mwebwe ku ruhande rwiwe akunde umugore wiwe nk’uko yikunda.”—Abanyefeso 5:25, 33.

5. Nukunde Imana wongere uvyigishe abana bawe

Ba sebibondo bakunda vy’ukuri Imana barashobora gusigira abana babo intoranwa y’agaciro kuruta izindi zose, na yo ikaba ari ukugiranira ubucuti somambike na Se wabo wo mw’ijuru.

Icabona ca Yehova umwe yitwa Antonio yaramaze imyaka mirongo yita ku rutare kugira arere abana biwe batandatu. Umusi umwe yararonse agakete kavuye ku mukobwa wiwe kagira gati: “Dawe nkunda, nashaka ndagushimire ukuntu wanyigishije gukunda Yehova Imana, gukunda abandi no kwikunda, bikaba vyaratumye mba umuntu ameze neza mu mice itandukanye. Waranyeretse ko ukunda Yehova be n’uko unyitwararika. Ndagushimiye dawe kubona warashize Yehova mu kibanza ca mbere mu buzima bwawe no kubona twebwe abana bawe wadufata nk’ingabire iva ku Mana!”

Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: “Utegerezwa gukunda Yehova Imana yawe n’umutima wawe wose n’ubuzima bwawe bwose n’inguvu zawe zose. Kandi aya majambo ndagutegetse uno musi aze abe ku mutima wawe.”—Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:5, 6.

Tuvugishije ukuri, kuba sebibondo birimwo n’ibindi vyinshi uretse ivyo bintu bitanu twavuze. Vyongeye, naho wokwita ku rutare gute ngo ube sebibondo mwiza, ntihazokwigera habura agahaze. Mugabo niwakora uko ushoboye kwose ugashira mu ngiro ivyo vyiyumviro mu buryo bubereye kandi buranga urukundo, uzoshobora vy’ukuri kuba sebibondo mwiza.c