Nimugiriranire Igishika mu Muryango

“YITURIRE niba uri umugabo! Yiturire!” Ukwo ni ko Tohru yahigishije umugore wiwe Yoko.a Umugore yishuye ati: “Nta gisivya ndayiturira,” maze aca arasa akampi kugira aturire nya foto bifotoje bari kumwe. Yaciye avugana akagagazo ati: “N’inzu ndayiturira!” Tohru yaciye akubita ikofe umugore wiwe, ibihari bivamwo ukurwana.

Hari haheze imyaka itatu Tohru na Yoko batanguye kubana ari umugabo n’umugore bahimbawe. None ni igiki kitagenda neza? Naho Tohru yaboneka ko ari umugabo mwiza, umugore wiwe yiyumvamwo ko atamugirira igishika kandi ko ari gake yitwararika inyiyumvo ziwe. Yasa nuko atari ashoboye kugira ico akoze ku gishika umugore wiwe yamugirira. Kubera yuko Yoko atari agishoboye kwihanganira ivyo bintu, yaciye arushiriza kugira urwanko n’ishavu. Hari ibintu vyatanguye gutsimbatara muri we nk’ukubura itiro, amaganya, ukubura akayabagu, ugushavura be n’intimba, mbere aranarwara indwara y’ubwoba (yitwa Phobie). Yamara, Tohru yasa n’uwutitaho ivyo bintu bikomeye vyari vyiganje mu rugo rwiwe. Vyasa n’ibisanzwe kuri we.

“Ibihe Bigoye”

Ingorane nk’izo ziragwiriye muri iki gihe. Intumwa Paulo yarabuye yuko igihe cacu coranzwe n’abantu “badakunda n’ababo.” (2 Timoteyo 3:1-5) Ijambo ry’intango ry’Ikigiriki ryahinduwe hano ngo ‘kudakunda ababo,’ rirafitaniye isano cane n’ijambo ridondora igishika gisanzwe kihaba usanga mu bagize umuryango. Nta gukeka, igihe turimwo ntikirangwa n’igishika nk’ico. Naho igishika coba kihari, abagize umuryango usanga ari gake bakigiriranira.

Abavyeyi benshi muri iki gihe ntibazi ukuntu boserurira abana babo bwite urukundo n’igishika. Bamwebamwe bakuriye mu muryango utarangwamwo igishika, maze ugasanga ntibaheza ngo batahure yuko ubuzima bushobora kurushiriza kuba ubuhimbaye kandi buryoshe igihe gusa umuntu yiyumvamwo igishika kandi akagiserura. Ivyo bisa n’uko ari ko vyari biri kuri Tohru. Mu bwana bwiwe, se yama afise vyinshi akora ku kazi, maze agataha mw’ijoro. Ni gake yaganiriza Tohru, n’igihe abigize, yavuga amajambo ababaza. Nyina wa Tohru na we nyene umwanya wose yawumara ku kazi, ntaheze ngo amarane umwanya munini na we. Televiziyo ni yo yari umurezi wiwe. Nta gukezanya canke uguseruriranira akari ku mutima vyari bihari muri uwo muryango.

Imico kama irashobora kandi kubitera. Mu mihingo imwimwe yo muri Amerika y’Epfo, umugabo ategerezwa kwirengagiza imico kama usanga yiganje kugira yerekane igishika afitiye umugore wiwe. Mu bihugu vyinshi vyo mu Buseruko n’ivyo muri Afirika, umuntu yerekanye igishika afise mu mvugo no mu bikorwa aba arenze ku mugenzo. Abanega bashobora gusanga bigoye kubwira abakenyezi babo canke abana babo ngo: “Ndagukunda.” Naho biri ukwo, turashobora gukura icigwa ku bucuti bw’umuryango bw’akarorero, bukaba bumaze igihe kirekire bugaragara ko ari nyakuri kandi ko ari ngirakimazi.

Ubucuti bw’Umuryango bw’Indorerwako

Akarorero ntangere umuryango wokwigana tugasanga mu bucuti bwa somambike buri hagati ya Yehova Imana n’Umwana wiwe w’ikinege. Baragiranira igishika mu buryo butagira agahaze. Mu myaka ibihumbi n’ibihumbi idaharurika, ikiremwa c’impwemu cahavuye kiba Yezu Kirisitu carinovoye ubucuti buhimbaye cagiraniye na Se. Yadondoye ubwo bucuti muri ubu buryo: “Imisi yose narayihimbara, nama niginagura imbere yayo.” (Imigani 8:30) Umwana yari azi adakekeranya ko Se amukunda ku buryo yashoboye kubwira abandi yuko imisi yose Yehova yahimbarwa no kumubona. Yumva ahimbawe igihe cose ari imbere ya Se.

Mbere n’igihe Yezu yari kw’isi ari umuntu, uwo Mwana w’Imana yarakuwe amazinda yuko Se amufitiye urukundo rugera ibwina. Yezu amaze kubatizwa, yarumvise ijwi rya Se rivuga riti: “Uyu ni we Mwana wanje nkunda, akampimbara.” (Matayo 3:17) Ese ukuntu yari amajambo aremesha aserura urukundo igihe Yezu yari agiye gutangura igikorwa cari camuzanye kw’isi! Bitegerezwa kuba vyaramukoze ku mutima kwumva ko Se amwemera igihe yasubira kwibuka ubuzima yahorana mw’ijuru.

Gutyo, Yehova ni akarorero ntangere mu vy’ukugaragaza mu buryo bwuzuye urukundo akunda umuryango wiwe wo kw’isi no mw’ijuru. Twemeye Yezu Kirisitu, na twebwe turashobora kugirirwa igishika na Yehova. (Yohana 16:27) Naho ata jambo tuzokwumva rivuye mw’ijuru, tuzobona ko urukundo rwa Yehova rubonekera mu bintu dusanzwe tubona, mu ntunganyo y’inkuka y’incungu ya Yezu be no mu bundi buryo. (1 Yohana 4:9, 10) Yehova mbere arumviriza amasengesho yacu kandi akayishura mu buryo butugirira akamaro cane. (Zaburi 145:18; Yesaya 48:17) Uko dutsimbataza ubucuti bwa somambike na Yehova, turarushiriza gukenguruka ukuntu atwitwararikana urukundo.

Yezu yarigiye kuri Se uburyo bwo kugaragaza impuhwe, ugufatana abandi agaciro, ubuntu be n’ukwitwararika abandi bimwe bigera ibwina. Yasiguye ati: “Ivyo Se akora vyose n’Umwana aca abikora kuno. Kuko Se akunda Umwana, akamwereka ivy’akora vyose ubgiwe.” (Yohana 5:19, 20) Na twebwe turashobora kumenya ukuntu twoserura igishika mu kwiga akarorero Yezu yasize igihe yari kw’isi.​—Ab’i Filipi 1:8.

Igishika mu Muryango Gishoboka Gute?

Kubera yuko “Imana ar’urukundo,” na twe tukaba twaremwe “mw ishusho [yayo],” turafise ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvamwo urukundo no kurugaragaza. (1 Yohana 4:8; Itanguriro 1:26, 27) Yamara, naho dufise ubushobozi bwo kugaragaza urukundo, ntirupfa kwizana. Kugira ngo tugirire abandi igishika, dutegerezwa kubanza kukigirira uwo twubakanye hamwe n’abana bacu. Nube umuntu azi kwihweza, maze urabe kamere z’igikundiro bafise, uzizirikaneko, naho mu ntango zoba zisa n’uko ata co zivuze. Ushobora kuvuga uti: ‘Nta kintu gikwegera mbona ku munega wanje [ku mukenyezi wanje canke ku bana banje].’ Abari mu miryango, aho usanga abavyeyi ari bo bahitiramwo abana uwo bubakana bashobora gusanga ata gishika cinshi bagiriranira. Abubakanye bamwebamwe bashobora kuba batashatse kuvyara abana. N’aho biri ukwo, rimbura ukuntu Yehova yumvise amerewe ku vyerekeye umugore wiwe w’ikigereranyo, ni ukuvuga ihanga rya Isirayeli mu kinjana c’icumi B.G.C. Naho umuhanuzi Eliya yavuze yuko ata bandi basavyi ba Yehova bariho muri ya miryango cumi y’ihanga rya Isirayeli, Yehova yarabasuzumye yitonze, maze aronka igitigiri kitari gito c’abantu bose hamwe 7.000 bari bafise kamere zikwegera mu nyonga ziwe. Woba ushobora kwigana Yehova mu kubonamwo iciza abagize umuryango wawe?​—1 Abami 19:14-18.

Ariko rero, kugira ngo ushobore gutuma abandi bo mu bagize umuryango babona ko ubafitiye igishika, utegerezwa kugira akigoro kavuye ku mutima kugira ngo ugiserure. Igihe cose ubonye ikintu co gushima, nubiserure mu kubivuga. Mu kudondora umugore abishoboye, Ijambo ry’Imana rivuga ikintu gishimishije kiranga umuryango wiwe riti: “Abana biwe bava hasi bakamuhezagira, n’umugabo wiwe na we, akamushemagiza.” (Imigani 31:28) Raba ukuntu abagize umuryango baseruriraniye ata co binona ukuntu bakengurukiranira. Mu gushemagiza umugore wiwe abimubwira, sebibondo aba ashiriyeho akarorero keza umuhungu wiwe, akaba amuremesheje kuzoba uwukunda gukeza uwo bazoba bubakanye ni yamara gushinga urwiwe.

Vyongeye, abavyeyi bakwiye gukeza abana babo. Ivyo birashobora gufasha kwinjiza mu mitima y’abana ukwiyubahiriza. Nakare, umuntu yoshobora ate ‘gukunda mugenziwe nk’uko yikunda’ nimba atiyubahiriza? (Matayo 22:39) Ku rundi ruhande, niba abavyeyi bama banebagura abana babo, ntibigere babakeza na rimwe, nya bana barashobora gutakaza ukwiyubahiriza bitagoranye, maze ugasanga birabagoye kugaragariza igishika abandi.​—Abanyefeso 4:31, 32.

Urashobora Kuronka Imfashanyo

Tuvuge iki mu gihe utakuriye mu rugo rurangwamwo urukundo? N’aho nyene urashobora kwiga guserura igishika. Intambwe ya mbere wotera ni ukwemera icese ko ufise iyo ngorane, maze ukamenya ko ukeneye kugira ico uryohoye. Ijambo ry’Imana ari ryo Bibiliya ni imfashanyo ihambaye muri ivyo. Rishobora kugereranywa n’icirore. Igihe twisuzumye dukoresheje inyigisho za Bibiliya zimeze nk’icirore, utunenge, canke udutosi turi mu vyiyumviro vyacu duca twiserura. (Yakobo 1:23) Turashobora kubogora impengamiro iyo ari yo yose itabereye dufise, tukayihuza n’inyigisho za Bibiliya. (Abanyefeso 4:20-24; Ab’i Filipi 4:8, 9) Ivyo dukeneye kubigira ubudahorereza, tutigera ‘tureka gukora ivyiza.’​—Ab’i Galatiya 6:9.

Bamwebamwe bashobora gusanga bigoye kugaragaza igishika kubera uko barezwe canke imico kama bakuriyemwo. Ariko rero, itohoza riherutse kugirwa ryerekana yuko intambamyi nk’izo umuntu ashobora kuzitsinda. Muganga Daniel Goleman, umuhinga mu vy’amagara yo mu mutwe asigura ko ‘n’utumenyero two mu mutima umuntu yize mu bwana twashinze imizi bimwe bigera ibwina dushobora guhindurwa.’ Haraheze ibinjana birenga 19 Bibiliya yerekanye yuko umuntu afashijwe n’impwemu y’Imana, mbere n’impengamiro z’umutima zamaze gushinga imizi muri we zishobora guhindurwa. Idukebura iti: “Mwiyambu[r]e umuntu wa kera n’ibikorwa vyiwe, m[w]ambar[e] umuntu musha.”​—Ab’i Kolosayi 3:9, 10.

Umuryango umaze kumenya ingorane ihari, urashobora kwiga Bibiliya ufise mu muzirikanyi ivyo bintu ukeneye. Nk’akarorero, ni kubera iki utogira ubushakashatsi kugira umenye ico Bibiliya ivuga ku vyerekeye ‘igishika’? Ushobora kubona icanditswe nk’iki kivuga ngo: “Mwarumvise ukwihangana kwa Yobu, mwabonye ivy’Umwami Imana yaherutse kumugirira, ingene yuzuye [igishika] no kugira ikigongwe.” (Yakobo 5:11) Nuce urimbura inkuru ya Bibiliya yerekeye Yobu, witunire ku kuntu Yehova yari afitiye Yobu ikibabarwe kiranga igishika n’ikigongwe. Ntuzobura kwumva ushatse kwigana Yehova mu vyo kugaragariza umuryango wawe ikibabarwe cinshi kiranga igishika be n’ikigongwe.

Ariko rero, kubera ko turi abanyagasembwa, igihe dukoresha ururimi “twese [tura]tsitara muri vyinshi.” (Yakobo 3:2) Mu bagize umuryango, turashobora kunanirwa gukoresha ururimi rwacu mu buryo buremesha. Aho ni ho isengesho n’ukwiheka kuri Yehova biba ari nkenerwa. Ntuteshwe ngo ute. “[N]usenge ubudasība.” (1 Ab’i Tesalonike 5:17) Yehova azofasha abantu bipfuza cane ko haba igishika mu muryango hamwe n’abantu bashaka kukigaragaza mugabo bakanigirwa mu menshi.

Vyongeye, Yehova yaratanze mu buryo buranga ubuntu imfashanyo mw’ishengero rya gikirisu. Yakobo yanditse ati: “Muri mwebge namba harih’ūrwaye [mu buryo bw’impwemu], n’atumekw abashingantahe b’ishengero, baze kumusengera, bamusīge amavuta ya elayo mw izina ry’Umwami wacu.” (Yakobo 5:14) Vyemere, abakurambere bo mu mashengero y’Ivyabona vya Yehova barashobora kuba imfashanyo nini ku miryango usanga abayigize bariko bahura n’ingorane mu vy’ukugiriranira igishika. Naho abakurambere atari abantu bavura ingorane zo mu mutwe, barashobora gufasha abo basangiye ukwemera babigiranye ukwihangana, atari mu kubabwira ico bakwiye gukora, mugabo mu kubibutsa uburyo Yehova abona ibintu no mu gusengera hamwe na bo babasabira.​—Zaburi 119:105; Ab’i Galatiya 6:1.

Ku vyerekeye Tohru na Yoko, abakurambere bakirisu bamye nantaryo batega ugutwi ingorane zabo, maze bakabahumuriza. (1 Petero 5:2, 3) Mu bihe bimwebimwe, umukurambere ari kumwe n’umukenyezi wiwe barabagendera kugira Yoko ashobore kwungukira ku kuba ari kumwe n’umukenyezi mukirisu aciye uruma ashobora kumutoza ‘ubwenge bwo gukunda umugabo wiwe.’ (Tito 2:3, 4) Mu kwerekana ko batahura imibabaro n’intuntu Abakirisu bagenzi babo bafise kandi ko babumvira imbabazi, abakurambere baracika “nk’aho kwikinga umuyaga, n’ubgugamo bg’ikirura.”​—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

Abifashijwemwo n’abakurambere b’abanyabuntu, Tohru yarashitse ku gutahura yuko yari afise ingorane mu vyo guserura inyiyumvo ziwe be n’uko “mu misi y’iherezo,” Shetani adurumbanya uburyo umuryango uringanijwe. (2 Timoteyo 3:1) Tohru yarafashe ingingo yo gutorera umuti ingorane yiwe. Yatanguye kubona yuko yananiwe guserura urukundo bivuye ku vy’uko batamugaragarije urukundo igihe yariko arakura. Biciye ku kwiga Bibiliya no ku gusenga abigiranye ubwira, Tohru buhorobuhoro yararushirije kwitaho ivyo Yoko yari akeneye mu vy’akanyengetera.

Naho Yoko yahora ashavurira Tohru, igihe yatahura ingene umuryango yakuriyemwo wari umeze akongera akaraba n’utunenge twiwe bwite, yaragize akigoro gakomeye kugira ngo umugabo wiwe amubonemwo iciza. (Matayo 7:1-3; Abaroma 5:12; Ab’i Kolosayi 3:12-14) Yaratakambiye Yehova ashimitse ngo amuronse inkomezi zo kuguma akunda umunega wiwe. (Ab’i Filipi 4:6, 7) Amaherezo, Tohru yaratanguye guserura igishika afise kugira atume umugore wiwe ahimbarwa.

Vyemere, naho wosanga bigoye kwiyumvamwo no kugaragaza igishika mu muryango, nta gukeka ko ushobora gutsinda iyo ngorane. Ijambo ry’Imana riraduha ubuyobozi bwiza. (Zaburi 19:7) Utahuye yuko ico kintu gihambaye, abagize umuryango wanyu ukagerageza kubabonamwo iciza, ukiga ukongera ugashira mu ngiro Ijambo ry’Imana, ukiheka kuri Yehova biciye kw’isengesho uturana ubwira be no mu kurondera imfashanyo ku bakurambere bakirisu bahumuye, urashobora gutsinda igishobora gusa n’intambamyi ihambaye iri hagati yawe n’umuryango wawe. (1 Petero 5:7) Na wewe urashobora kunezerwa nk’uko umunega umwe wo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika yanezerewe. Yararemeshejwe kugirira igishika umukenyezi wiwe. Igihe amaherezo yagira uburindutsi bwo kuvuga ngo “ndagukunda,” yaratangajwe n’ukuntu uwo mukenyezi wiwe yavyakiriye. Yavuze yiyuha iryosozi rivuye ku kanyamuneza afise ati: “Nanje ndagukunda, mugabo ubu ni bwo bwa mbere uvuze ikintu nk’ico mu myaka mirongo 25 yose twari tumaranye.” Nturindire ko haca ico gihe cose kugira ugirire igishika uwo mwubakanye n’abana bawe!

[Akajambo k’epfo]

[Ifoto ku rup. 28]

Yehova aratanga imfashanyo mw’Ijambo ryiwe ari ryo Bibiliya