Ukuntu wofasha umugenzi arwaye

VYOBA birigera bishika ukumva ubuze amajambo wokoresha uriko urayagisha umugenzi arwaye cane? Rema, urashobora kumenya ingene wovyifatamwo. Uti gute? Nta ngingo zidahinduka ziriho wokwisunga. Woshobora gusanga imico kama itandukanye. Kamere z’abantu na zo nyene zoshobora kuba zitandukanye cane. Ku bw’ivyo, icoshobora gufasha umurwayi umwe kugira yumve ko yorohewe coshobora kudafasha uwundi. Vyongeye, uko ivy’umurwayi biba vyifashe be n’ukuntu aba yiyumva vyoshobora guhinduka cane uko bukeye uko bwije.

Ikintu nyamukuru rero uba ukeneye ni ukugerageza kwishira mu kibanza c’uwo muntu maze ukamenya ico vy’ukuri ashaka kandi akeneye ko umufasha. None ivyo wobishikako gute? Raba zino nama nkeyi ugirwa zishingiye ku ngingo ngenderwako zo muri Bibiliya.

Nube umuntu azi gutega yompi

INGINGO NGENDERWAKO ZO MURI BIBILIYA:

“Umuntu wese ategerezwa gutebuka kwumva, guteba kuvuga.”​—YAKOBO 1:19.

“[Hari] igihe . . . co gucereza n’igihe co kuvuga.”​—UMUSIGUZI 3:1, 7.

◼ Igihe ugendeye umugenzi arwaye, numutege yompi ata gusamara kandi ubigiranye ikibabarwe. Ntiwihutire guca umuha impanuro canke ngo wumve ko ubwirizwa kwama waronse inyishu y’ibibazo afise. Wihutiye kuvuga, woshobora gusanga uvuze utanabishaka ibintu vyoshobora kumubabaza. Ico umugenzi wawe arwaye aba arondera si ngombwa ngo zibe ari inyishu z’ibibazo afise, ariko aba arondera umuntu amutega yompi yugurutse mu mutima no mu bwenge.

Nureke umugenzi wawe aserure ikiri ku mutima yisanzuye. Ntumuciremwo ngo ufatire mu rwara ukuntu amerewe ukoresheje mwene twa tujambo abantu bama bavuze mu kuremesha abarwayi. Uwitwa Emílioa avuga ati: “Nari mfise indwara yo mu bwoko bwa mugiga maze amaherezo ndahuma. Hari aho bishika nkumva vy’ukuri ndendebukiwe, maze abagenzi bakagerageza kundemesha bavuga ngo: ‘Si we wenyene ufise ingorane. Hariho n’abamerewe nabi kukuruta.’ Ariko rero, ico batazi ni uko gufatira mu rwara ingorane ndimwo ata co bimfasha. Ahubwo nyabuna, aho kumfasha biramvuna umutima.”

Nureke uwo mugenzi wawe aserure akari ku mutima adatinya ko aza kunegurwa. Nimba akubwiye ko yumva ubwoba, niwemere ukwo kuntu yiyumva aho kumubwira ngo nareke gutinya. Uwitwa Eliana, akaba ariko aranyinyana n’indwara ya kanseri, avuga ati: “Igihe ntewe ubwoba n’ukuntu mba merewe maze ngaturikisha nkarira, ntibiba bisobanura ko ntacizigiye Imana.” Niwigore ubone umugenzi wawe nk’uko ari, aho kumubona nk’uko ushaka ko amera. Niwamize ku muzirikanyi yuko ico gihe biba vyoroshe cane ko usanga wamubabaje be n’uko ataba ameze nk’uko asanzwe ameze. Nube umuntu yihangana. Tega yompi, mbere n’igihe vyoba bisaba ko uguma wumva vya bindi nyene kenshi. (1 Abami 19:9, 10, 13, 14) Yoshobora kuba yumva akeneye kukuyagira ukuntu amerewe.

Nubabarane na we wongere umwubahirize

INGINGO NGENDERWAKO ZO MURI BIBILIYA:

“Munezeranwe n’abanezerewe; murirane n’abarira.”​—ABAROMA 12:15.

“Ibintu vyose . . . mushaka ko abantu babagirira, namwe nyene mutegerezwa kubibagirira.”​—MATAYO 7:12.

◼ Niwishire mu kibanza c’uwo mugenzi wawe. Nimba yiteguriye kubagwa, akaba ariko aravurwa canke akaba arindiriye ico ibipimo bitanga, yoshobora kuba ahagaritse umutima kandi agasa n’uko ari inkomwahato. Gerageza ubitahure maze wihanganire ukuntu aza arahindagurika. Coshobora kuba atari co gihe co kumubaza ibibazo vyinshi, na canecane ibimwinjirira mu buzima.

Uwitwa Ana Katalifós, akaba ari umuhinga mu vy’inyifato y’abantu afasha abarwayi, avuga ati: “Reka abarwayi bavuge ibijanye n’indwara yabo igihe baba babishaka, kandi ubareke bavuge bitonda canke banyarutsa. Igihe baba bipfuje ko muyaga, nubaganirize ku kintu ico ari co cose baba bashimye ko muyaga. Ariko rero igihe baba bumva badashaka kuganira, woshobora gusa kwicara ucereje, kandi kubafata ukuboko kigenzi vyoshobora kugira ikintu kinini cane bifashije. Canke na ho, woshobora gusanga ikintu conyene baba bakeneye ari umuntu boririra.”

Niwirinde kwinjira mu buzima bw’uwo mugenzi wawe. Umwanditsi yitwa Rosanne Kalick, uwigeze kurwara kanseri incuro zibiri, yandika ati: “Igihe ugerageza kumenya ingene wofasha uwo murwayi, nubone ko ivyo akubwira ari akabanga. Igihe utasabwe kuvuga kw’izina ry’umuryango, niwirinde kumumenera ibanga. Nubaze uwo murwayi ico yipfuza ko abandi bomenya.” Uwitwa Edson, akaba yarigeze kurwara kanseri, avuga ati: “Hari umugenzi yakwiragije inkuru yuko nari ndwaye kanseri be n’uko ngo ntomaze na kabiri. Ego ni ko, nari mperutse kubagwa. Nari nzi ko ndwaye kanseri, mugabo nari nkirindiriye ico ibipimo bitanga. Iyo ndwara ntiyari bwakwiragire mu mubiri. Mugabo, akaba ko kari kamaze kuba. Umukenyezi wanje yarababajwe cane n’amajambo abandi bavuga be n’ibibazo babaza batabanje kuzirikana.”

Nimba umugenzi wawe akiriko arijijanya imitima ku bijanye n’uburyo bwo kuvurwa yohitamwo, ntiwihutire kumubwira ico wokora iyo aba yari wewe. Umwanditsi Lori Hope, uwigeze kurwara kanseri, avuga ati: “Imbere yo gufata ibiganiro canke amakuru ayo ari yo yose kugira ngo uyarungikire uwurwaye kanseri canke uwigeze kuyirwara, vyiza womubaza niba yoshima kwakira amakuru mwene ayo. Ahandiho, ico kintu ukoranye umutima mwiza coshobora kubabaza umugenzi wawe kandi ntiwigere ubimenya.” Si abantu bose bashima gucucagirwa amakuru menshi yerekeye uburyo butandukanye bwo kwivuza.

N’igihe nyene muba muri abagenzi somambike, niwirinde kugumana na we gushika n’aho umurambira. Kuba ari ho uri birahambaye cane, ariko uwo mugenzi wawe yoshobora kuba yumva adashoboye kuguma ayaga nawe. Yoshobora kuba yiruhiye akaba ata tuguvu afise two kuvuga canke kubandanya atega amatwi umwanya munini. Ku rundi ruhande, niwirinde kwerekana ko uriko wihutira kugenda. Uwo mugenzi wawe arakeneye kubona ko umwitayeho.

Kwubahiriza umuntu birimwo ugukora ibitegereka n’ukuraba ikibereye. Nk’akarorero, imbere yo gutegurira udufungurwa umugenzi arwaye canke imbere yo kumuzanira utundi tuntu, woshobora kubaza ibintu vyoba bisanzwe bitamugwa neza. Nimba urwaye, kumbure ukaba urwaye nk’ibicurane, ikintu kiranga urukundo wokora kwoba ukurindira ugakira, maze ukabona kuja kuraba uwo mugenzi wawe.

Nube uwuremesha

INGINGO NGENDERWAKO ZO MURI BIBILIYA:

“Ururimi rw’abanyabgenge ruravūra.”​—IMIGANI 12:18.

“Imvugo yanyu yamane nantaryo igikundiro, irunze umunyu.”​—ABAKOLOSAYI 4:6.

◼ Nimba uguma ubona mu buryo bwiza umugenzi wawe arwaye, ivyo uvuga be n’ivyo ukora bizobigaragaza. Nubone ko uwo mugenzi wawe akiri wa wundi nyene kandi ko agifise za kamere nyene zatuma wumva umukunze mu ntango. Niwibande kuri we aho kwibanda ku ndwara yiwe. Uvugishije uwo mugenzi wawe nk’uko wovugisha umuntu yigorewe, yoshobora gutangura kubona ko ari ukwo nyene ari. Roberta, uwavukanye indwara yo mu magufa ifiswe na bake, avuga ati: “Nimumfate nk’abandi. Naho mugaye, ndafise ivyiyumviro be n’ivyipfuzo. Reka kuba mundaba nk’umuntu ateye akagongwe. Reka kuba mumvugisha nk’aho umengo ndi ikijuju.”

Wibuke ko igihambaye atari ivyo uvuga gusa, ariko n’ingene ubivuga birahambaye. Mbere n’ijwi ukoresha rirashobora kugira ico rikoze. Gatoyi inyuma y’aho uwitwa Ernesto bamutoreye kanseri, hari umugenzi yamuterefonye ari mu kindi gihugu maze amubwira ati: “Sha, nta wewe urwaye kanseri!” Ernesto aravuga ivyo yibuka, ati: “Uburyo uwo mugenzi yavuze ngo ‘wewe’ be na ‘kanseri’ vyaramvunye umugongo.”

Wa mwanditsi Lori Hope aratanga akandi karorero ati: “Kubaza ngo ‘Wumva umerewe gute?’ birashobora kubwira umurwayi ibintu vyinshi bitandukanye. Bivanye n’ijwi uwubajije ikibazo yakoresheje, ibimenyetso vy’umubiri yakoresheje, ubucuti afitaniye n’uwo murwayi, ubugenzi bwabo aho bugera, tutibagiye rero n’umwanya ico kibazo kibarijweko, birashobora guhumuriza uwo murwayi, kumubabaza, canke kumuvyuramwo ubwoba bwari bucinyegeje.”

Umugenzi arwaye ashobora kuba akeneye kwumva ko bamwitwararika, bamutahura kandi bamwubaha. Ku bw’ivyo, numukure amazinda ko ahambaye cane kuri wewe be n’uko uzomufata mu mugongo. Uwitwa Rosemary, akaba yari afise ikivyimba co mu bwonko, avuga ati: “Ikintu vy’ukuri candemesheje kwari ukwumva abagenzi banje bavuga ko bankunda kandi bomfashe mu mugongo naho vyogenze gute.”​—Imigani 15:23; 25:11.

Nugire ico ufashije

INGINGO NGENDERWAKO YO MURI BIBILIYA:

“Dukunde, atari mu majambo canke ku karimi, mugabo mu bikorwa no mu kuri.”​—1 YOHANI 3:18.

◼ Ivyo gusuzumwa biheze hagatangura ivyo kuvurwa, uzosanga ivyo uwo mugenzi wawe akeneye bihindutse. Ariko rero muri ivyo bihe vyose, yoshobora kuba akeneye gufashwa. Aho kumubwira muri rusangi ngo “niwagira ico ukeneye untere akamo,” nugerageze kudomako ico ushaka kumufasha. Kwitanga kugira ufashe mu dukorwa twa misi yose nko gutegura ibifungurwa, kugira isuku, kumesa, kugorora impuzu, gusimba kumuronderera utwo akeneye, kuja gusuma, kumutwara n’imodoka kwa muganga canke kumutahana ni bimwebimwe mu bintu bifadika wogira kugira ngo umwereke ko umwitwararitse. Nube umwizigirwa kandi wubahirize umwanya. Niwirinde kwihindukiza mw’ijambo wongere ushitse ico usezeranye.​—Matayo 5:37.

Wa mwanditsi Rosanne Kalick avuga ati: “Ico dukora cose caba kinini canke gito gifasha umurwayi kugenda aratora agahengwe, kiraba ngirakamaro.” Uwitwa Sílvia, akaba yarigeze kurwara kanseri incuro zibiri, aravyemera. Avuga ati: “Kuba abagenzi batandukanye barantwara mu muduga mu kindi gisagara ku musi ku musi kugira ngo nje kwivuza hakoreshejwe imishwarara iturira utugingo turwaye (radiothérapie), vyaranduhura bikongera bikampoza! Igihe twaba turi mu nzira, twarayaga ku bijanye n’ibintu bitandukanye, kandi mpejeje kuvurwa, twama twicishije aho dufatira agakawa. Ivyo vyaratuma numva nsubiye kuba umuntu nk’abandi.”

Ariko rero ntiwibaze ko uzi neza na neza ivyo umugenzi wawe akeneye. Kalick atugira inama ati: “Baza, ubaze wongere ubaze.” Yongerako ati: “Naho uba wipfuza kugira ico umfashije, niwirinde kwifatira vyose mu minwe. Ivyo birashobora kwica akokize. Igihe utaretse ngo ngire ico nkoze, noshobora kubona ko ushatse kunyereka yuko ata co nshoboye. Ndakeneye kubona ko hari ico nshoboye. Ndakeneye kubona ko ntari umuntu yigorewe. Numfashe nkore ico nshoboye.”

Uwo mugenzi wawe yoshobora kuba abona ko hari ico ashoboye. Uwitwa Adilson, akaba arwaye SIDA, avuga ati: “Igihe urwaye, ntiwipfuza gukumirwa nk’aho umengo nta co umaze canke nta kintu namba ushoboye. Uba wipfuza kugira ico ufashije, mbere naho kwoba ari ugukora utuntu dutoduto. Ntiworaba ingene biryoshe kubona ko ugishoboye kugira ico ukoze! Biratuma wumva ushatse kubandanya kubaho. Ndashima ko abantu bareka ngafata ingingo kandi bagaca bubahiriza ingingo nafashe. Kuba turwaye ntibisobanura ko tutaba tugishoboye kurangura uruhara rwacu rwa sebibondo, rwa inabibondo, canke ibindi ivyo ari vyo vyose.”

Numugume hafi

INGINGO NGENDERWAKO YO MURI BIBILIYA:

“Umukunzi akundana ibihe vyose, kandi yavukiye kukubera nk’uwo muvukana mu magorwa.”​—IMIGANI 17:17.

◼ Nimba udashoboye kugendera uwo mugenzi wawe kubera uri kure canke izindi mpamvu, urashobora kumwakura kuri telefone kugira mube muratera inkuru, ukamwandikira agakete canke ukamurungikira ubutumwa kuri Internet. Ni ibiki none ushobora kwandika? Uwitwa Alan D. Wolfelt, akaba asanzwe aha impanuro abatuntuye, atanga inama igira iti: “Numwibutse ibihe bimwebimwe bihimbaye mwasangiye. Numwemerere ko uzosubira kumwandikira . . . vuba, maze ushitse ico usezeranye.”

Si ngombwa ngo witinye kuremesha umugenzi arwaye, utinya ko woshobora kuvuga nabi canke gukora amakosa. Akenshi, kuba ari ho uri ni vyo usanga bihambaye vy’ukuri. Mu gitabu Lori Hope yanditse, avuga ati: “Twese turavuga tukongera tugakora ibintu bishobora gutahurwa ukutari kwo canke bishobora mu buryo kanaka kubabaza umuntu tutabiciye n’ikanda. Iyo si yo ngorane. Ingorane ivyuka igihe utinyatinye gukora ikosa ku buryo udaseruka ku muntu yari agukeneye.”

Umugenzi arwaye cane yoshobora kuba agukeneye ico gihe kuruta ikindi gihe ico ari co cose. Nugaragaze ko uri “umukunzi” nyakuri. Utwigoro ugira kugira ngo ufashe umuntu ukunda twoshobora kudaca dutuma ububabare afise buhera, ariko ushobora gusanga utumye ingorane ikomeye afise irushirije kworoha kwihanganira.

[Akajambo k’epfo]