IGICE CYA 27

Kuki abasore batankunda?

Uyu musore azi ko nkundwa n’abantu bose. N’ikimenyimenyi namubwiye ko n’abandi basore bankunda. Namubwiye ukuntu zimwe mu ncuti zanjye ari abapfayongo, araseka. Azi neza ko nzi ubwenge, kuko hari ibintu yagiye avuga nkamukosora. Ahubwo nibaza icyo ategereje ngo atangire kundambagiza.

Yego ni mwiza, ariko nta cyo yitaho. Ntareka ngo nanjye ngire icyo mvuga! N’iyo ngize ngo ndavuze, ahita ankosora. Si jye uzarota mucitse!

ESE ujya ugira impungenge z’uko abasore batagukunda? Abakobwa benshi bagira izo mpungenge, ndetse na ba bandi wumva ko nta kibazo bafite. Reka dufate urugero rwa Joanne. Ni umukobwa ufite uburanga; azi ubwenge kandi avuga adategwa. Nyamara yaravuze ati “numva abasore batankunda. Na bake numvaga nkunze, banyitagaho by’igihe gito, ariko nyuma ntibongere no kumvugisha!”

Ni ibihe bintu abasore bakundira abakobwa? Ni ibiki babangira? Wakora iki kugira ngo ubone umusore wiyubashye ugukunda?

Icyo ukwiriye gukora

● Banza wimenye. Umaze kuba umwangavu, ushobora kuba warahise utangira kumva ukunze abasore. Yewe ushobora no kuba warumvise ukunze benshi. Ibyo ni ibisanzwe. Ariko iyo uza kuba waragiranye ubucuti n’umusore wa mbere wumvise ukunze, ibyiyumvo byawe byari kuhazaharira ndetse n’imishyikirano ufitanye n’Imana ikadindira. Bisaba igihe kugira ngo witoze kugira imico myiza, ‘uhindure imitekerereze’ ku birebana n’uko ubona ibintu by’ingenzi, kandi ugere ku ntego wishyiriyeho.—Abaroma 12:2; 1 Abakorinto 7:36; Abakolosayi 3:9, 10.

Abasore benshi bikundira abakobwa bataragira ibitekerezo bihamye cyangwa bagitekereza nk’abana. Abasore nk’abo, baba bashishikajwe n’uko uwo mukobwa agaragara inyuma, ntibashishikazwa n’imico ye. Mu by’ukuri, umusore ushyira mu gaciro azareba umukobwa ufite imico myiza izuzuzanya n’iye.—Matayo 19:6.

Icyo abasore babivugaho: “Jye nkunda wa mukobwa uba ushobora gutanga ibitekerezo bye, mbese na we wumva ko hari icyo ari cyo.”—James.

“Jye nkunda umukobwa uvugisha ukuri, wubaha, kandi udapfa kwemera ibintu byose mubwiye. Nubwo yaba ari mwiza, sinkunda umukobwa uvuga ibintu kugira ngo akunde anshimishe.”—Darren.

Wavuga iki ku byo abo basore bavuze?

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● Itoze kubaha abandi. Nk’uko nawe ukeneye gukundwa, ni ko n’abasore baba bakeneye cyane kubahwa. Ntibitangaje kuba Bibiliya ivuga ko umugabo yagombye gukunda umugore we, ariko ikavuga ko umugore yagombye “kubaha cyane” umugabo we (Abefeso 5:33). Mu buryo buhuje n’ayo magambo, ubushakashatsi bwakozwe ku basore babarirwa mu magana, bwagaraje ko abasaga 60 ku ijana bavuze ko kubahwa ari byo baha agaciro kuruta gukundwa. Nanone ubwo bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abagabo barenga 70 ku ijana babajijwe, na bo bavuze ko ari uko babibona.

Kubaha ntibivuga ko ugomba kwemera ikivuzwe cyose; ntibivuze ko nta burenganzira ufite bwo kugira cyangwa kuvuga igitekerezo kinyuranye n’icy’undi (Intangiriro 21:10-12). Ariko uburyo uvugamo icyo utekereza, bushobora gutuma umusore akwanga cyangwa akagukunda. Niba uhora umuvuguruza cyangwa ukosora icyo avuze cyose, ashobora kumva ko utamwubaha. Icyakora niwemera ibitekerezo bye kandi ukamushimira igihe avuze ikintu cyiza, na we azarushaho kwemera ibitekerezo byawe kandi abihe agaciro. Birumvikana ko umusore uzi gushishoza atazabura kubona uko wubaha abagize umuryango wawe ndetse n’abandi.

Icyo abasore babivugaho: “Ntekereza ko kubaha ari cyo kintu cy’ingenzi mu bintu bibanziriza ubucuti, urukundo rukaza nyuma.”—Adrian.

“Umukobwa aramutse anyubashye, numva nta n’icyamubuza kunkunda.”—Mark.

Wavuga iki ku byo abo basore bavuze?

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● Jya wambara neza kandi urangwe n’isuku. Uko wambara n’uko wirimbisha, twabigereranya n’indangururamajwi zamamaza icyo utekereza n’uko ubona ibintu. Na mbere y’uko utangira kuvugisha umusore, imyambarire yawe iba yarangije kugaragaza uwo uri we. Niba wambara neza kandi mu buryo bwiyubashye, abasore bazabibona (1 Timoteyo 2:9). Ariko niba wambara imyenda ituma abasore bakurarikira cyangwa itagira epfo na ruguru, ni nk’aho za ndangururamajwi zizaba zikuvuga nabi mu ijwi riranguruye kandi ryumvikana neza.

Icyo abasore babivugaho: “Uko umukobwa yambara, bigaragaza neza uko abayeho. Iyo yambara imyenda imwambika ubusa cyangwa itagira epfo na ruguru, mpita mbona ko aba yiteguye gukora icyo ari cyo cyose kugira ngo akundwe n’abasore.”—Adrian.

“Nkunda umukobwa wita ku musatsi we, uhumura neza kandi uvuga atuje. Hari umukobwa mwiza nigeze gukunda, ariko umwanda we watumye dushwana.”—Ryan.

“Iyo umukobwa yambaye imyenda ituma abasore bamwifuza, abantu baramurangarira. Ariko umukobwa nk’uwo jye ntanjyamo.”—Nicholas.

Wavuga iki ku byo abo basore bavuze?

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Ibyo utagombye gukora

● Ntukabikundisheho. Abakobwa bagira ubushobozi buhambaye bwo kureshya abasore. Ubwo bushobozi bwo kureshya bushobora gukoreshwa neza cyangwa nabi (Intangiriro 29:17, 18; Imigani 7:6-23). Ubwo bushobozi ufite nugenda ubukoresha ku musore wese uhuye na we, abantu bazasigara bagufata nk’umukobwa wiruka ku basore.

Icyo abasore babivugaho: “Kuba wicaranye n’umukobwa mwiza ukamukora nko ku rutugu, wumva bikuguye neza. Ntekereza ko umukobwa ukuganiriza ariko akajya anyuzamo akagukoraho, aba ashaka kukwikundishaho.”—Nicholas.

“Iyo umukobwa ahora ashaka uko yafatana agatoki n’abasore ahuye na bo bose cyangwa agahora atereka amaso imbere y’umusore wese uhise, jye ntekereza ko aba abikundishaho. Bene uwo simukunda rwose.”—José.

● Ntukamubuze amahwemo. Iyo umugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe, Bibiliya ivuga ko bahinduka “umubiri umwe” (Intangiriro 2:24). Kubera iyo mishyikirano baba bafitanye, umugabo n’umugore bigomwa umudendezo bahoranye bakiri abaseribateri. Mu by’ukuri baba babaye umwe (1 Abakorinto 7:32-34). Icyakora niba ugitangira kumenya umusore, ntukwiriye kumwitegaho ko amarana nawe igihe nk’icyo umugabo amarana n’umugore we, kandi na we ntiyagombye kubikwitegaho.a Icyo ukwiriye kuzirikana, ni uko numurekera uburenganzira afite bwo kwishimana n’incuti ze azarusho kukwitaho. Kandi uko azakoresha uwo mudendezo afite, bizatuma urushaho kumenya imico ye.—Imigani 20:11.

Icyo abasore babivugaho: “iyo buri gihe umukobwa ashaka kumenya aho ndi n’icyo nkora, kandi ugasanga adashobora gusabana n’abandi cyangwa ngo agire ikindi kimushishikaza tutari kumwe, uwo aba ambuza amahwemo.”—Darren.

“Niba maze igihe gito menyanye n’umukobwa, agahora anyoherereza ubutumwa bugufi kuri telefoni kandi agashaka kumenya umuntu wese turi kumwe, cyane cyane amazina y’abakobwa bahari, ibyo byaba binyereka ko hari ikintu kitagenda.”—Ryan.

“Umukobwa utareka ngo ubone umwanya wo kuba uri kumwe n’abandi basore b’incuti zawe kandi akababazwa no kuba utamutumira buri gihe aho uri, biba bigaragara ko ataraca akenge. Umuntu nk’uwo sinamukunda.”—Adrian.

Wavuga iki ku byo abo basore bavuze?

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Jya wiyubaha

Birashoboka ko uzi abakobwa baba biteguye gukora ibishoboka byose, kugira ngo abahungu babakunde. Hari n’abakwemera kurenga ku mahame bagenderaho, kugira ngo babone umusore wababera incuti cyangwa umugabo. Icyakora nk’uko iri hame riri mu Bagalatiya 6:7-9 ribyerekana, ‘ibyo ubiba ni na byo usarura.’ Niba utiyubaha kandi ntiwubahe amahame ugenderaho, uzakundwa n’abasore batakubaha kandi batubaha amahame ugenderaho.

Icyo ukwiriye kumenya ni uko utazakundwa n’abasore bose, kandi icyo ni ikintu cyiza. Ariko niwita ku bwiza bwawe bw’imbere n’ubw’inyuma, uzagira “agaciro kenshi mu maso y’Imana,” kandi uzakundwa n’umusore ufite imico wifuza.—1 Petero 3:4.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Ubwiza bushobora gushukana, kandi uburanga ni ubusa; ariko umugore utinya Yehova ni we wihesha ishimwe.” —Imigani 31:30.

INAMA

Mu gihe wirimbisha, ntukisige birenze urugero. Iyo wisize birenze urugero, bishobora gutuma bakubona nabi, bakumva ko uri umwibone kandi ko ukora ibishoboka byose ngo abasore bagukunde.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Niba uhora usaba umusore ko ari wowe yajya yitaho gusa, bishobora gutuma mushwana.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA

Dore imico ngiye kunonosora: ․․․․․

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Wagaragaza ute ko wubaha ibitekerezo by’umusore n’ibyiyumvo bye?

● Wagaragaza ute ko wiyubaha?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 190]

“Nanjye nemera ko nkunda abakobwa beza pe! Ariko iyo mbonye ko umukobwa adafite intego nziza, mpita mureka. Icyakora iyo ari umukobwa ufite intego nziza mu mibereho ye, kandi hakaba hari izo yamaze kugeraho, bishobora gutuma ndushaho kumukunda.”—Damien

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 191]

Urukundo no kubaha ni kimwe n’amapine y’igare, byombi ni ingenzi