IGICE CYA 29

Nabwirwa n’iki ko ankunda by’ukuri?

Subiza ibi bibazo bikurikira:

1. Wowe wumva “urukundo” ari iki? ․․․․․

2. Wasobanura ute “urukundo rw’agahararo”? ․․․․․

3. Wumva bitandukaniye he? ․․․․․

BIRASHOBOKA ko gusubiza ibyo bibazo bitakugora. N’ubundi kandi, kubona itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo nyakuri n’urukundo rw’agahararo ntibigoye, iyo ubitekerejeho wihitira.

Ariko iyo uhuye n’umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu mwiza cyane, ibyo byose bishobora guhinduka. Mu buryo utari witeze, uhita wumva umukunze cyane ku buryo ibindi byose bisigara nta cyo bivuze. Uba wumva umukunda byo gupfa. Koko se urwo ni urukundo nyarwo cyangwa ni agahararo gusa? Wabibwirwa n’iki se? Kugira ngo tubone igisubizo, reka tubanze dusuzume uburyo mu myaka mike ishize ushobora kuba warahinduye uko watekerezaga abo mudahuje igitsina. Urugero, ibaze ibibazo bikurikira:

● Igihe wari ufite imyaka itanu, watekerezaga iki ku bo mudahuje igitsina?

● Ese muri iki gihe ubatekerezaho iki?

Ibisubizo utanze bishobora kuba bigaragaza ko igihe wari ugeze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, wahinduye uko wabonaga abo mudahuje igitsina. Brian, ufite imyaka 12, yaravuze ati “natangiye kubona ko abakobwa ari beza kuruta uko nababonaga mbere.” Elaine, ufite imyaka 16, yibuka uburyo mu myaka mike ishize, yahinduye uko yabonaga ibintu. Agira ati “abakobwa b’incuti zanjye bose batangiye kujya baganira iby’abahungu. Nanjye natangiye kumva nkunze abahungu.”

None ko ubu utangiye kujya uterera akajisho ku bo mudahuje igitsina, wahangana ute n’ibyo byiyumvo bitoroshye ufite? Ntukigire nk’aho ibyo byiyumvo bitakubamo, kuko byatuma urushaho kubakunda. Aho kubigenza utyo, ushobora kumva ko ari uburyo bwiza ubonye, bwo gusobanukirwa uko umuntu abona undi agahita amubenguka, n’itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo. Nusobanukirwa ubwo buryo butatu abantu bagaragazamo urukundo, bizakurinda ibintu bitari ngombwa byari kuzagutera agahinda, kandi nyuma y’igihe runaka, ushobora kubona umuntu mukundana by’ukuri.

KUBENGUKA → Ibyo ureba

“Jye n’incuti zanjye duhora tuganira iby’abakobwa. Tugerageza no kuganira ibindi, ariko iyo hagize umukobwa mwiza utunyura iruhande, duhita twibagirwa ibyo twavugaga!”—Alex.

“Iyo umusore afite ingendo nziza, hanyuma twahuza amaso akansekera, numva mukunze.”—Laurie.

Kuba wabona umuntu ufite uburanga ukamubenguka, nta gitangaza kirimo. Ikibazo ni uko uko agaragara atari ko buri gihe biba bihuye n’imico afite. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko ibyo ureba bishobora kugushuka. Bibiliya igira iti “umugore w’uburanga ariko utagira umutima ameze nk’impeta ya zahabu ku zuru ry’ingurube” (Imigani 11:22). Birumvikana ko iryo hame rireba n’abahungu.

URUKUNDO RW’AGAHARARO → Uko wiyumva

“Igihe nari mfite imyaka 12, hari umuhungu numvise nkunze cyane byo gupfa. Ariko bimaze gushira, naje gutahura impamvu namukunze. Incuti zanjye zose zakundaga abahungu kandi uwo na we yari umuhungu. Ubwo nawe urabyumva!”—Elaine.

“Nakunze abakobwa benshi, ariko incuro nyinshi nabaga nkuruwe gusa n’uko basa. Iyo namaraga kumenya imico yabo, nasangaga tudahuje nk’uko nabitekerezaga.”—Mark.

Iyo ukunda umuntu by’agahararo, wowe uba wumva umukunda nyabyo. Kandi n’ubundi, urukundo nyarwo rujyana n’ibyiyumvo. Ariko ibyo urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo rushingiraho biratandukanye. Urukundo rw’agahararo ruba rushingiye gusa ku byo umuntu yashimye ku wundi bigaragara inyuma. Urwo rukundo rw’agahararo rutuma umuntu atabona aho undi afite intege nke, n’ibyiza afite rukabikabiriza. Urukundo rw’agahararo twarugereranya n’akazu kubakishije umucanga gusa. Umukobwa witwa Fiona yaravuze ati “ntiruramba. Uyu munsi ushobora kubona umuntu ukumva uramukunze. Nyuma y’ukwezi wabona undi, na we ukumva uramukunze!”

URUKUNDO NYARWO → Ibyo uzi

“Ntekereza ko iyo ukunda umuntu by’ukuri, uba ufite impamvu zituma umukunda kandi izo mpamvu zikaba zidashingiye ku bwikunde.”—David.

“Jye numva urukundo nyarwo ruza buhoro buhoro, uko igihe kigenda gihita. Mubanza kuba incuti zisanzwe. Hanyuma mwamara kumenyana neza urukundo rukagenda rwiyongera.”—Judith.

Iyo uzi neza ibyiza by’umuntu n’aho agira intege nke, ni bwo uba ushobora kumukunda urukundo nyakuri. Ntibitangaje kuba Bibiliya isobanura ko urukundo atari ikintu umuntu yiyumvamo gusa, ahubwo ko rukubiyemo n’indi mico. Bibiliya igira iti “urukundo rurihangana kandi rukagira neza. . . . Rutwikira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose. Urukundo ntirushira” (1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7, 8). Nanone kandi, urukundo nyarwo rutuma umuntu agaragaza iyo mico ashingiye ku byo azi. Ntaba abitewe n’ubujiji cyangwa gupfa kwemera ibintu buhumyi.

Urugero rw’abantu bakundanye by’ukuri

Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya ivuga ibya Yakobo na Rasheli igaragaza neza icyo urukundo nyarwo ari cyo. Bombi bahuriye ku mugezi Rasheli yagiye kuhira intama za se. Yakobo akimubona yahise yumva amukunze. Kubera iki? Impamvu ni uko Rasheli yari “ateye neza kandi afite uburanga.”—Intangiriro 29:17.

Zirikana ko urukundo nyakuri rurenze ibi byo gukunda umuntu kubera uko asa. Uburanga bwa Rasheli si bwo bwonyine Yakobo yarebye. Kandi koko, Bibiliya ivuga ko nyuma y’igihe gito Yakobo ‘yakunze Rasheli.’—Intangiriro 29:18.

Ese ibyo byaciriye aho? Oya. Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya igaragaza ko urukundo rwabo rwarushijeho gukomera. Se wa Rasheli yatumye Yakobo ategereza imyaka irindwi mbere yo gushyingiranwa na Rasheli. Yakobo yaba yararenganyijwe cyangwa atararenganyijwe, urukundo yakundaga Rasheli rwarageragejwe. Iyo ruza kuba urukundo rw’agahararo, Yakobo ntaba yarategereje Rasheli igihe kingana gityo. Urukundo nyarwo ni rwo rwonyine ruramba. Byaje kugenda bite? Bibiliya ikomeza igira iti “Yakobo akora imyaka irindwi kugira ngo ahabwe Rasheli, ariko abona iyo myaka ari nk’iminsi mike cyane bitewe n’urukundo yamukundaga.”—Intangiriro 29:20.

Ni irihe somo wavana ku rugero rwa Yakobo na Rasheli? Urukundo nyarwo rugaragazwa n’igihe. Nanone ntiruba rushingiye gusa ku bigaragarira amaso. Birashoboka ko umuntu muzashakana yaba atari wa wundi ubona bwa mbere ukumva uhise umukunda. Urugero, hari umukobwa witwa Barbara wahuye n’umusore witwa Stephen. Barbara avuga ko akimubona atahise amukunda. Yaravuze ati “ariko maze kumumenya neza, ibintu byarahindutse. Nabonye ukuntu Stephen yita ku bantu, n’uburyo yita ku by’abandi bakeneye aho kwita ku nyungu ze. Iyo mico yari afite yanyeretse ko yari kuzambera umugabo mwiza. Natangiye kumukunda.” Amaherezo baje gushyingiranwa kandi bagira urugo rwiza.

Niba ukuze bihagije ku buryo watangira kurambagiza uwo muzabana, wabwirwa n’iki ko uwo urambagiza umukunda urukundo nyakuri? Ntuzafate umwanzuro ushingiye ku byo umutima wawe ukubwira, ahubwo uzakurikize amahame yo muri Bibiliya. Jya umenya neza uwo muntu, aho kwibanda ku buranga bwe gusa. Muzafate igihe gihagije cyo kumenyana. Zirikana ko urukundo rw’agahararo ruyoyoka mu gihe gito. Ariko urukundo nyarwo rwo uko igihe kigenda gihita rurushaho gukomera kandi ni “rwo rwunga abantu mu buryo bwuzuye.”—Abakolosayi 3:14.

Nusobanukirwa ko udakwiriye gukururwa gusa n’uko umuntu agaragara inyuma (ibyo ureba), kandi ko ukwiriye kwirinda urukundo rw’agahararo (uko wiyumva), bizaguha icyizere cy’uko ushobora kuzabona umuntu mukundana urukundo nyarwo. Ibyanditse ku mapaji atatu akurikira bizagufasha kubigeraho.

KU BINDI BISOBANURO, REBA UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 1 N’ICYA 3

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Amazi menshi ntashobora kuzimya urukundo, n’inzuzi ntizishobora kurutembana.” —Indirimbo ya Salomo 8:7.

INAMA

Kugira ngo urebe niba koko uzi neza uwo ukunda, subiza ibibazo biri mu Mubumbe wa 2 w’iki gitabo, ku rupapuro rw’umwitozo ruri ku ipaji ya 39 (ku bakobwa) no ku ipaji ya 40 (ku bahungu).

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Niba umusore cyangwa umukobwa afite akamenyero ko gukunda umuntu nyuma y’igihe akamureka, aba asa n’aho “yitoza” kuzatana n’uwo bazashakana.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA

Dore icyo nzakora kugira ngo menye neza niba mukunda urukundo nyarwo cyangwa ari urw’agahararo:

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki:

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Kuki Imana yaremye abantu ikabaha ibyiyumvo bikomeye byo kumva bakunze abo badahuje igitsina?

● Kuki urukundo abenshi mu bakiri bato bakundana rutaramba?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 207]

“Iyo havutse ibibazo urukundo nyarwo rurakomeza, mu gihe urukundo rw’agahararo rwo ruhita ruyoyoka iyo imimerere ihindutse. Kugira ngo abantu bakundane urukundo nyarwo bisaba igihe kirekire.”—Daniella

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 209]

Urupapuro rw’imyitozo

Ari wowe wakora iki?

Michael na Judy bamaze amezi atatu barambagizanya, kandi Judy avuga ko “yamukunze byo gupfa!” Michael amwitaho cyane akamutetesha, ku buryo agera n’aho amubwira imyenda akwiriye kwambara, abantu akwiriye kugendana na bo n’abo akwiriye kwirinda. Michael yaramukundwakaje pe! Ariko mu cyumweru gishize, yagize atya amukubita urushyi kuko yari “amufashe” avugana n’undi muhungu.

Michael yaravuze ati “ni uko Judy atazi ukuntu mpangayikishwa cyane n’uko bamuntwara. Iyo ntekereje gusa ko undi musore ashobora kumuntwara, numva nasara. Kuba narakubise Judy urushyi byarambabaje cyane. Nabitewe n’uko ntashobora kwihanganira ko agira n’undi musore areba. Ikindi kandi, namusabye imbabazi!”

Judy yaravuze ati “ababyeyi banjye bambwira ko Michael aba ashaka kuntwaza igitugu, ariko jye mbona gusa ari uko afite amahame yihariye agenderaho. Dore nk’ubu ntarigera na rimwe ampatira kugira ikintu runaka dukora cyerekeza ku bitsina. Igihe yankubitaga, bitewe n’uko yasanze nganira n’undi muhungu, sinabibwiye ababyeyi banjye. Michael yarafushye, ariko na byo biranshimisha. Nubwo yankubise, yansabye imbabazi kandi yambwiye ko atazabyongera.”

Wowe ubibona ute? Ese nawe ubona ko hari ibitagenda neza mu bucuti bw’aba bantu? Niba bihari se, ni ibihe? ․․․․․

Judy akwiriye gukora iki? ․․․․․

Ari wowe wakora iki? ․․․․․

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 210]

Urupapuro rw’imyitozo

Ari wowe wakora iki?

Ethan yari amaze amezi abiri arambagiza Alyssa kandi yari yarabonye ko Alyssa akunda kujya impaka, cyane cyane n’ababyeyi be. N’ikimenyimenyi, igihe cyose Alyssa agiye impaka n’ababyeyi be arabatsinda. Azi kuburana cyane ntave ku izima, ku buryo ababyeyi be bageraho bakarambirwa bakamwemerera ibyo yifuza. Alyssa yigeze kwiyemera kuri Ethan ko ababyeyi be yabifatiye.

Ethan agira ati “Alyssa avuga irimuje mu kanwa. Nta gitekerezo cy’umuntu n’umwe ajya yemera, nubwo cyaba icy’ababyeyi be. Se na we ntiyoroshye; ni na yo mpamvu umukobwa we akunze kumurakarira. Uretse kuvuga akankama, Alyssa ashobora kwiriza, agakurura iminwa yirakaje cyangwa akigira umwana mwiza, kugira ngo ababyeyi be bakunde bamuhe icyo yifuza.”

Alyssa yaravuze ati “uwo waba uri we wese, icyo waba uri cyo cyose cyangwa urwego waba urimo rwose, nkubwira icyo ntekereza ntaciye ku ruhande, ikiba kikaba. Umuhungu w’incuti yanjye witwa Ethan na we arabizi. Azi ko n’ababyeyi banjye batankanga.”

Wowe ubibona ute? Ese nawe ubona ko hari ibitagenda neza mu bucuti bw’aba bantu? Niba bihari se, ni ibihe? ․․․․․

Ethan akwiriye gukora iki? ․․․․․

Ari wowe wakora iki? ․․․․․

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 211]

Urupapuro rw’imyitozo

Ese ni urukundo nyakuri cyangwa ni urw’agahararo?

Gerageza kumenya amagambo abura mu nteruro zavuzwe hasi aha bavuze. Uzuza izi nteruro ukoresheje amagambo urukundo nyarwo cyangwa urukundo rw’agahararo.

1. “․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․ ni impumyi kandi ntiruba rushaka guhinduka. Ntirubona ibintu uko biri.”—Calvin.

2. “Iyo ndi kumwe n’umukobwa numva nkunze, nkumva nshaka guhisha uwo ndi we, ubwo rwaba ari ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․.”—Thomas.

3. “Ushobora kubona nk’ikintu kitari cyiza kuri uwo muntu. Ariko niba umukunda ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, uzumva ushaka kugumana na we no kumufasha gukemura icyo kibazo.”—Ryan.

4. “Iyo umukunda ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, ibyo witaho cyane ni ibintu muhuriyeho.”—Claudia.

5. “Iyo umukunda ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, ntugerageza guhisha uwo uri we.”—Eve.

6. “․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․ na rwo ni ubwikunde kuko uba ugira ngo ugere ku byo wifuza gusa, kugira ngo nawe ujye uvuga ko ufite umuhungu w’incuti yawe.”—Allison.

7. “․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․ rumenya amakosa n’intege nke z’umuntu ukunda ariko rugakomeza kubyihanganira.”—April.

8. “Iyo ari ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, ntuba ushobora gusobanura icyatumye umukunda. Wumva gusa umukunze.”—David.

9. “Iyo ari ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, uba wumva undi nta kosa yakora.”—Chelsea.

10. “Iyo ari ․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․, ntiwongera kubona abo mudahuje igitsina nk’uko wari usanzwe ubabona, kuko uba wumva ukwiriye kubera indahemuka uwo muntu.”—Daniel.

Ibisubizo: urukundo rw’agahararo: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9. Urukundo nyarwo: 3, 5, 7, 10.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 206 n’iya 207]

Urukundo rw’agahararo twarugereranya n’akazu kubakishije umucanga gusa—mu gihe gito ruhita ruyoyoka