IGICE CYA 30

Ese koko twiteguye gushakana?

Wabonye umuntu mukwiranye kandi mumaze igihe kinini murambagizanya ku buryo uzi neza ko umukunda. Watangiye no gutekereza ku byishimo muzagira ku munsi w’ubukwe bwanyu. Kubera ko uri hafi gufata umwanzuro ukomeye cyane mu buzima, ushobora gutangira kwibaza niba koko witeguye gushaka.

Ese koko twiteguye gushakana?

GUSHIDIKANYA ku birebana n’uwo muzashakana, ni ibintu bisanzwe, nubwo mwaba mukundana. Kubera ko imiryango idafite ibyishimo igenda yiyongera, umubare w’abashakanye batana ukaba wiyongera cyane, ukwiriye kuba maso mu gihe utekereza gutera iyo ntambwe izahindura ubuzima bwawe. Wabwirwa n’iki ko witeguye gushaka? Ubu ni bwo ugomba kurandura ibitekerezo bimeze nk’inzozi ushobora kuba warishyizemo birebana n’ishyingiranwa, ukamenya aho ukuri kuri. Dufate ingero:

ICYA 1 “Kuba dukundana birahagije.”

Ukuri: Urukundo ntiruzabishyurira fagitire cyangwa ngo rubakemurire ibindi bibazo by’amafaranga. N’ikimenyimenyi, abashakashatsi bagaragaje ko amafaranga ari yo akunze gukurura intonganya hagati y’abashakanye, amaherezo bagatana. Kubona amafaranga uko bidakwiriye bishobora kugutera imihangayiko, bikabangamira imishyikirano ufitanye na Yehova kandi bigatuma utumvikana n’uwo mwashakanye (1 Timoteyo 6:9, 10). Ni irihe somo wabikuramo? Mukwiriye kuganira ku bibazo by’amafaranga mbere y’uko mushakana.

Icyo Bibiliya ibivugaho: “Ni nde muri mwe waba ashaka kubaka umunara utabanza kwicara akabara ibyo azawutangaho?”—Luka 14:28.

Inama: Ganira n’uwo uteganya gushaka uko muzacunga umutungo wanyu, mbere y’uko mushakana (Imigani 13:10). Suzuma ibi bibazo bikurikira: umushahara wacu tuzawucunga dute? Ese twese tuzagira konti imwe cyangwa tuzagira konti zitandukanye? Muri mwe, ni nde warusha undi gukurikiranira hafi umutungo w’umuryango kandi akajya yishyura za fagitire?a Ni amafaranga angahe umwe muri mwe ashobora gukoresha atiriwe abaza undi? Iki ni cyo gihe mukwiriye gutangira gukorera hamwe.—Umubwiriza 4:9, 10.

ICYA 2 “Nitumara gushakana tuzabana neza cyane kubera ko ibintu byose tubibona kimwe; ntitujya na rimwe tugira icyo dupfa.”

Ukuri: Niba nta na rimwe muragira icyo mupfa, bishobora kuba biterwa n’uko mwirinda kuganira ibintu byatuma havuka intonganya. Icyakora nimumara gushakana, nta ho muzabihungira. Icyo ukwiriye kumenya, ni uko nta na rimwe ushobora gusanga abantu babiri badatunganye bakwiranye mu buryo bwuzuye. Ubwo rero, ntimuzabura ibyo mupfa (Abaroma 3:23; Yakobo 3:2). Niba mukunze kumvikana, ukwiriye no gusuzuma uko bigenda iyo mugize icyo mupfa. Urugo rwiza ni urw’umugore n’umugabo bemera ko hari icyo batumvikanaho, hanyuma bakakiganiraho nk’abantu bakuru kandi mu bugwaneza.

Icyo Bibiliya ibivugaho: “Izuba ntirikarenge mukirakaye.”—Abefeso 4:26.

Inama: Tekereza witonze uko wagiye ukemura ibyo utumvikanaho n’ababyeyi bawe cyangwa abo muva inda imwe kugeza ubu. Kora imbonerahamwe imeze nk’iri ku ipaji ya 93 muri iki gitabo cyangwa iri ku ipaji ya 221 mu mubumbe wa 2 w’iki gitabo. Andika ibintu runaka mutumvikanagaho, uko wabyitwayemo n’uko wagombye kuba warabyitwayemo. Urugero, niba igihe mutumvikanaga warahise wirukira mu cyumba cyawe ugakubitaho urugi warakaye, andika uko wari gukemura icyo kibazo, aho kugira ngo utume ibintu birushaho kuzamba. Niwitoza gukemura ibyo utumvikanaho n’abandi mu gihe utarashaka, bizatuma ugira imico izagufasha kugira urugo rwiza.

ICYA 3 “Nimara gushaka, ibyo nifuza byose birebana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina nzabibona.”

Ukuri: Gushaka ntibivuga ko uzajya ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina igihe cyose uyishakiye. Ukwiriye kuzirikana ko uwo uteganya gushaka na we afite ibyiyumvo, kandi ko ugomba kumuzirikana. Mu by’ukuri, hari igihe uwo mwashakanye azaba ari mu mimerere itamwemerera gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Kuba mwarashakanye, ntibiguha uburenganzira bwo kumuhatira gukora ibyo wifuza byose (1 Abakorinto 10:24). Zirikana ko ari abaseribateri ari n’abashakanye, bose bagomba kumenya kwifata.—Abagalatiya 5:22, 23.

Icyo Bibiliya ibivugaho: ‘Buri wese muri mwe amenye gutegeka umubiri we, afite ukwera n’icyubahiro, adatwarwa n’irari ry’ibitsina.’—1 Abatesalonike 4:4, 5.

Inama: Fata akanya wisuzume neza umenye ibyo witeze mu birebana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Uzirikane n’ingaruka ibyo bishobora kuzagira igihe uzaba waramaze gushaka. Urugero, ese waba warabaswe n’ingeso yo kwikinisha irangwa n’ubwikunde? Ese waba ufite ingeso yo kureba porunogarafiya? Ese waba ujya witegereza mu ibanga abo mudahuje igitsina, ukabararikira? Ibaze uti ‘niba ntashobora gutegeka irari ngira ry’ibitsina mbere y’uko nshaka, ubwo nzabishobora ari uko maze gushaka?’ (Matayo 5:27, 28). Ikindi kintu wazirikana: ese waba uzwiho gutendeka abakobwa cyangwa kugirana agakungu n’abo mudahuje igitsina? Niba ari uko bimeze se, ni iki uteganya gukora kugira ngo ubicikeho, dore ko igihe uzaba warashatse uzasabwa gukunda uwo muzashakana gusa?—Imigani 5:15-17.

ICYA 4 “Gushaka bizatuma ngira ibyishimo.”

Ukuri: Umuseribateri utajya yishima, n’iyo ashatse nta byishimo agira. Kubera iki? Impamvu ni uko incuro nyinshi ibyishimo bidaterwa n’imimerere umuntu aba arimo, ahubwo biterwa n’uburyo we abona ibintu (Imigani 15:15). Abantu babangukirwa no kubona ibibi gusa mu mibereho yabo, akenshi usanga iyo bamaze gushaka bibanda cyane ku bitagenda mu mishyikirano bafitanye n’abo bashakanye, aho kureba ibyiza bafite mu ishyingiranwa ryabo. Byaba byiza witoje kubona ibintu mu buryo bwiza ukiri umuseribateri. Nyuma numara gushaka, uzagira imico myiza izaguhesha ibyishimo wowe n’uwo mwashakanye.

Icyo Bibiliya ibivugaho: “Ni byiza kunyurwa n’ibyo ufite kuruta guhora urarikiye.”—Umubwiriza 6:9, Bibiliya Ijambo ry’Imana.

Inama: Akenshi, kuba umuntu atarangwa n’icyizere biterwa n’uko aba yiteze ibintu bidashyize mu gaciro. Fata urundi rupapuro wandike ibintu bibiri cyangwa bitatu witeze ku muntu uteganya gushaka. Soma ibyo wanditse, maze wibaze uti ‘ese ibyo niteze bishingiye ku bintu bimeze nk’inzozi, aho kuba bishingiye ku bintu bifatika? Ese izo nzozi zaba zishingiye ku byo numva cyangwa mbona mu itangazamakuru, wenda nk’ibitabo cyangwa filimi zivuga iby’urukundo? Ese mu byo niteze, naba nibanda ku cyo ishyingiranwa rizamarira, wenda nko kumara irungu maranye igihe kirekire, guhaza irari ry’ibitsina cyangwa gutuma abo mu rungano rwanjye banyubaha?’ Niba ari uko bimeze, ugomba kureka gutekereza ku nyungu zawe gusa ahubwo ugatekereza aha babiri. Kugira ngo tubigufashemo, andika ibintu bibiri cyangwa bitatu witeze ko wowe hamwe n’uwo muzashakana muzakorera hamwe.

Izo nzozi tumaze kuvuga wishyizemo ku birebana n’ishyingiranwa, zishobora gutuma mutagira ibyishimo mu ishyingiranwa ryanyu. Ubwo rero, ihatire kwikuramo izo nzozi, ahubwo ujye ubona ibintu mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro. Ibiri ku rupapuro rw’umwitozo ruri ku ipaji ya 216 n’iya 217, bishobora kugufasha wowe n’uwo muzashakana, mu gihe muharanira kugera ku kintu cyiza cyane mu buzima bwanyu, ari cyo kugira urugo rwiza.—Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 24:5; Imigani 5:18.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

‘Umugabo azasiga se na nyina yomatane n’umugore we, maze bombi babe umubiri umwe.’—Intangiriro 2:24.

INAMA

Ganira n’abantu bamaze igihe bashakanye, ubabaze inama bagira umugabo n’umugore bakimara gushakana kugira ngo bazagire urugo rwiza.—Imigani 27:17.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Iyo umugabo n’umugore babanye neza, baba ari incuti, baganira nta cyo bakinganye, bagakemura ibyo batavugaho rumwe kandi bakabona ko bazabana ubuzima bwabo bwose.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA

Dore aho nifuza kunonosora kugira ngo nzabane neza n’uwo tuzashakana: ․․․․․

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, hari umubare munini cyane w’abantu batana. Utekereza ko biterwa n’iki?

● Ni izihe ngaruka zishobora kugera ku muntu ugiye gushaka, agira ngo ahunge ibibazo by’iwabo?

● Kuki ari iby’ingenzi kuzakurikiza amahame yo muri Bibiliya igihe uzaba wamaze gushaka?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 220]

“Gushaka ni umwanzuro ukomeye. Ni ngombwa ko usobanukirwa ibyo ugiyemo kandi ukamenya neza n’uwo mubijyanyemo.”—Audra

Agasanduku/​Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 216, 217]

Urupapuro rw’imyitozo

Ese witeguye gushaka?

Suzuma ibibazo biri kuri aya mapaji abiri akurikira. Ushobora no kwifashisha aya mapaji kugira ngo uganire n’uwo muzashakana. Ntuzabure gusuzuma iyi mirongo y’Ibyanditswe yatanzwe.

Ibibazo bifitanye isano n’amafaranga

□ Ubona ute ibirebana n’amafaranga?—Abaheburayo 13:5, 6.

□ Ni mu buhe buryo wagaragaje ko uzi gukoresha amafaranga neza?—Matayo 6:19-21.

□ Ese ubu hari imyenda urimo? Niba se uyirimo, ni izihe ngamba wafashe kugira ngo uyishyure?—Imigani 22:7.

□ Ubukwe bwawe buzatwara amafaranga angana iki? Niba hari umwenda uzafata, ungana ute?—Luka 14:28.

□ Ese nimumara gushyingiranwa mwembi muzakora? Niba se mwembi muzaba mufite akazi, muzakemura mute ikibazo cya gahunda z’akazi zitandukanye hamwe n’uburyo muzajya muva cyangwa mujya ku kazi?—Imigani 15:22.

□ Wowe n’uwo mwashakanye muzatura he? Ese gukodesha, ibyokurya, imyambaro n’ibindi bintu bishobora kuzatwara amafaranga angahe, kandi se muzayabona mute?—Imigani 24:27.

Ibirebana n’umuryango

□ Ubanye ute n’ababyeyi bawe hamwe n’abo muvukana?—Kuva 20:12; Abaroma 12:18.

□ Usanzwe ukemura ute ibibazo mugirana n’abo mu rugo?—Abakolosayi 3:13.

□ Niba uri umukobwa, ugaragaza ute “umwuka wo gutuza no kugwa neza”?—1 Petero 3:4.

□ Ese murateganya kubyara (Zaburi 127:3)? Niba mutazabyara se, ni ubuhe uburyo muteganya bwo kuboneza urubyaro?

□ Niba uri umusore, ni izihe gahunda ufite zo kuzafata iya mbere mu rugo rwawe uyobora gahunda z’iby’umwuka?—Matayo 5:3.

Imico yanyu

□ Wagaragaje ute ko uri umunyamwete?—Imigani 6:9-11; 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.

□ Wagaragaje ute ko ufite umwuka wo kwigomwa?—Abafilipi 2:4.

□ Niba ukiri umusore, ugaragaza ute ko ushobora kuyobora neza umuryango wawe nk’uko Kristo yabigenje?—Abefeso 5:25, 28, 29.

□ Niba uri umukobwa, ni iki kigaragaza ko ushobora kugandukira ubutware?—Abefeso 5:22-24.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 219]

Ntugapfe kwihutira gushaka nk’usimbukira mu mazi, utabanje kumenya uko ayo mazi areshya