Abagabo bakora iki ngo bakomeze kugirana ubucuti n’abahungu babo?

“PAPA, uzi ko uzi ibintu byinshi!” Ese umwana wawe w’umuhungu yaba yarigeze kugutungura akakubwira amagambo nk’ayo? Ushobora kuba warumvise utewe ishema no kuba warabyaye. Ariko uko umuhungu wawe yagendaga akura, niba yarakurikije inama wamugiraga kandi zikamugirira akamaro, warushijeho kugira ibyishimo byinshi.a—Imigani 23:15, 24.

Ese uko imyaka yagiye ihita, umwana wawe w’umuhungu aracyakwemera nka mbere? Cyangwa uko agenda akura, agaciro yaguhaga kagenda kagabanuka? Wakora iki ngo ukomeze ubucuti ufitanye n’umuhungu wawe mu gihe agenda akura? Mbere na mbere, reka tubanze tuvuge zimwe mu nzitizi abagabo bafite abana bahura na zo.

Inzitizi eshatu bahuriyeho

1. KUBURA UMWANYA: Mu bihugu byinshi, abagabo ni bo binjiza amafaranga hafi ya yose atunga umuryango. Akenshi akazi bakora, gatuma bamara amasaha menshi ku munsi batari kumwe n’imiryango yabo. Mu duce tumwe na tumwe, abagabo bamarana igihe gito cyane n’abana babo. Urugero, ubushakashatsi buherutse gukorwa mu Bufaransa, bwagaragaje ko ukoze mwayeni abagabo bamarana n’abana babo iminota itagera no kuri 12 ku munsi.

TEKEREZA: Umarana igihe kingana iki n’umuhungu wawe? Nyuma y’icyumweru kimwe cyangwa bibiri, uzandike igihe wagiye umarana n’abana bawe buri munsi. Ushobora kuzatangazwa n’uko kizaba kingana.

2. KUDATANGA URUGERO RWIZA: Hari abagabo baba batarabonye uburyo bwo kuganira na ba se. Umugabo witwa Jean-Marie, wo mu Bufaransa, yaravuze ati “jye na papa twaganiraga gake cyane.” Ibyo byamugizeho izihe ngaruka? Yaravuze ati “byanteje ibibazo ntari narigeze ntekereza. Dufashe nk’urugero, kuganira n’abahungu banjye birangora.” Ku rundi ruhande, hari igihe umugabo aba yarashyikiranaga na se cyane, ariko gushyikirana n’umuhungu we bikananirana. Umugabo witwa Philippe, ufite imyaka 43, yaravuze ati “kugira ngo papa angaragarize ko ankunda, byaramugoraga cyane. Ibyo bituma nkora ibishoboka byose ngo nereke umuhungu wanjye ko mukunda.”

TEKEREZA: Ese utekereza ko imishyikirano ufitanye na so yagira icyo ihindura ku buryo ufata umuhungu wawe? Ese waba warabonye ko nawe usigaye wigana urugero rwiza cyangwa rubi so yagusigiye? Ibyo bishoboka bite?

3. GUTANGA INAMA ZIDASHYIZE MU GACIRO: Hari imico imwe n’imwe itesha agaciro uruhare rw’umugabo mu kurera abana. Umugabo witwa Luca, wakuriye mu gihugu cyo mu burengerazuba bw’u Burayi, yaravuze ati “jye aho nakuriye, abantu bumva ko kwita ku bana ari umurimo w’abagore.” Mu yindi mico ho, abagabo bafite abana usanga ari ba bandi batanga ibihano bikaze. Reka dufate urugero rw’umugabo witwa George, wakuriye mu gihugu cyo muri Afurika. Yaravuze ati “mu muco wacu, nta mugabo ukina n’abana kuko aba atinya ko umwana yamwubahuka. Kumarana igihe n’umuhungu wanjye twidagadura byarangoraga cyane.”

TEKEREZA: Mu karere k’iwanyu, umugabo aba yitezweho iki? Ese abantu babona ko kurera abana ari umurimo w’abagore? Ese abagabo bemerewe kugaragariza abahungu babo urukundo, cyangwa abo muturanye babona ko bidakwiriye ku muntu w’umugabo?

None se niba uhanganye n’imwe cyangwa inyinshi muri izo nzitizi, wazitsinda ute? Suzuma ibitekerezo bikurikira.

Tangira umuhungu wawe akiri muto

Abana b’abahungu basa n’abavukana icyifuzo cyo kwigana ba se. Bityo rero mu gihe umuhungu wawe akiri muto, muhe urugero rwiza yazigana. Wabigeraho ute? Igihe cyo kuganira na we uzagikura he?

Uko bishoboka kose, jya ugira ibintu ukorana n’umwana wawe. Urugero, niba urimo ukora imirimo yo mu rugo, mureke agufashe. Niba urimo ukubura, na we muhe umweyo muto agufashe. Niba urimo ucukura, muhe igitiyo gito na we acukure. Nta gushidikanya ko azashimishwa no gukorana na se, umuntu afata nk’intwari kandi akamureberaho. Nubwo bishobora gutuma utarangiza iyo mirimo mu gihe wari wateganyije, bizatuma ubucuti mufitanye bukomera kandi uzaba wamwigishije uko akazi gakorwa. Mu bihe bya kera, Bibiliya yashishikarizaga abagabo gukorana n’abana babo mu mirimo yabo ya buri munsi, maze bakaboneraho uburyo bwo kuganira na bo no kubigisha (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6-9). N’ubu iyo nama iracyafite agaciro.

Uretse gukorana n’umuhungu wawe, jya ushaka n’igihe cyo gukina na we. Gukina si ukwishimana gusa. Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko iyo abagabo bakina n’abana babo bakiri bato, bituma abo bana barushaho kugira ubushobozi bwo kuvumbura ibintu no kudatinya.

Iyo umugabo akina n’umwana we w’umuhungu bigira akamaro cyane. Umushakashatsi witwa Michel Fize, yaravuze ati “mu mukino, ni bwo umwana w’umuhungu aganira neza na se.” Iyo bakina, umugabo aba ashobora kubwira umuhungu we amagambo agaragaza ko amukunda cyangwa akagira ibyo amukorera. Iyo abigenje atyo aba yeretse umuhungu we uko na we yajya agaragaza urukundo. Umugabo witwa André, uba mu Budage, yaravuze ati “igihe umuhungu wanjye Manuel yari akiri muto, nakinaga na we kenshi. Naramuhoberaga, nkaba mwigishije uko na we akwiriye kugaragaza ko ankunda.”

Igihe cyo kuryama, na cyo ni igihe umugabo ashobora gukoresha kugira ngo ashimangire ubucuti afitanye n’umuhungu we. Buri gihe ujye ugira inkuru umusomera, kandi umutege amatwi mu gihe akubwira ibyamushimishije n’ibyamubabaje uwo munsi. Nubigenza utyo, kukuganiriza bizarushaho kumworohera.

Mujye mukora ibintu bibashishikaza

Hari abasore b’ingimbi basa n’abatita ku byo ababyeyi babo bababwira iyo bagerageje kubaganiriza. Niba umuhungu wawe asa n’udashaka kugusubiza, ntukumve ko adashaka kukuvugisha. Ashobora kurushaho kuvuga ibimuri ku mutima uramutse uhinduye uburyo umuganiriza ukabuhuza n’ibyo ashaka.

Umugabo witwa Jacques, uba mu Bufaransa, hari igihe ajya abona kuganira n’umuhungu we Jérôme bimugora. Ariko aho kugira ngo amuhatire ko baganira, yahisemo gukina na we umupira. Jacques yaravuze ati “iyo twamaraga gukora siporo, twicaraga mu kibuga kugira ngo turuhuke gato. Akenshi, icyo ni cyo gihe umuhungu wanjye yambwiraga ibimuri ku mutima. Ntekereza ko kuba twari kumwe ubwabyo, no kuba yarabaga azi ko turi bumarane igihe turi twembi, byatumye turushaho kugirana ubucuti bwihariye.”

Wakora iki se niba umuhungu wawe adakunda siporo? André yibuka ukuntu we n’umuhungu we bajyaga bamara amasaha bitegereza inyenyeri. Yaravuze ati “jye n’umuhungu wanjye twateraga intebe hanze ari nijoro. Kubera ko habaga hakonje, twabaga twifubitse kugira ngo dushyuhe, buri wese afite igikombe cy’icyayi mu ntoki, nuko tukitegereza ijuru rihunze inyenyeri. Twaganiraga ku Muremyi waremye inyenyeri. Twaganiraga n’ibibazo bireba umuntu ku giti cye. Mbese nta cyo twasigaga inyuma!”—Yesaya 40:25, 26.

Wakora iki se niba udashishikazwa n’ibyo umuhungu wawe akunda? Icyo gihe byaba byiza wemeye kubikora nubwo waba utabikunda (Abafilipi 2:4). Umugabo witwa Ian, uba muri Afurika y’epfo, yaravuze ati “jye nikundiraga siporo ariko umuhungu wanjye Vaughan agakunda indege na orudinateri. Byabaye ngombwa ko nanjye mbikunda, nkajya mujyana kureba uko batwara indege, hanyuma tugakina umukino wo kuri orudinateri wo gutwara indege. Numva icyatumye Vaughan anganiriza yisanzuye, ari uko twakoreye hamwe ibintu yakundaga.”

Mufashe kwigirira icyizere

“Papa, dore, reba!” Ese hari igihe umwana wawe w’umuhungu yakubwiye amagambo nk’ayo, bitewe n’ikintu gishya yamenye gukora? Ese niba amaze kuba ingimbi, na bwo aracyishimira kukwereka ibyo yagezeho? Bishobora kuba byarahindutse. Ariko rero, aracyabikeneye kugira ngo azakure avemo umugabo ushyira mu gaciro.

Zirikana urugero Yehova Imana yatanze mu byo yagiriye umwe mu bana be. Igihe Yesu yari hafi gatangira icyiciro gishya mu buzima bwe ku isi, Imana yamubwiye ko imukunda, igira iti “uyu ni Umwana wanjye nkunda, nkamwemera” (Matayo 3:17; 5:48). Mu by’ukuri, ufite inshingano yo guhana umuhungu wawe no kumwigisha (Abefeso 6:4). Ariko se ujya ushaka uko wamushimira ibintu byiza avuze cyangwa akoze?

Ku bagabo bamwe na bamwe, kubwira umwana ko bamukunda kandi ko bamwishimira, birabagora. Birashoboka ko baba barakuriye mu miryango, aho ba se bibandaga ku makosa yabo aho kubashimira ibyo bagezeho. Niba ari uko bimeze, ugomba gukomeza gushyiraho imihati kugira ngo ufashe umuhungu wawe kwigirira icyizere. Wabigeraho ute? Luca twavuze tugitangira, buri gihe iyo ari mu mirimo yo mu rugo, akorana n’umuhungu we Manuel w’imyaka 15. Luca yaravuze ati “hari igihe mbwira Manuel nti ‘tangira ukore niwumva unaniwe umbwire ngufashe.’ Incuro nyinshi, arakora akarangiza ntiriwe mufasha. Iyo arangije biramushimisha cyane kandi bigatuma arushaho kwigirira icyizere. Iyo hari icyo yagezeho, ndabimushimira. N’iyo yaba atageze ku cyari kigamijwe, na bwo mushimira imihati yashyizeho.”

Nanone ushobora gufasha umuhungu wawe kurushaho kwigirira icyizere umufasha kugera ku ntego zikomeye mu buzima. Wakora iki se niba umuhungu wawe atagera ku ntego vuba nk’uko ubishaka? Wabigenza ute niba intego yishyiriyeho, nubwo atari mbi, zitandukanye n’izo wowe wumva wamushyiriraho? Icyo gihe uba ukwiriye guhindura ibyo umwitezeho. Jacques twigeze kuvuga, yaravuze ati “ngerageza gufasha umuhungu wanjye kwishyiriraho intego ashobora kugeraho. Ariko ngerageza gutuma yumva ko ari intego yishyiriyeho atari jye uzimushyiriyeho. Nyuma y’ibyo, nzirikana ko aba azazigeraho akurikije ubushobozi afite.” Niwumva ibitekerezo by’umuhungu wawe, ukamushimira ibyo yagezeho kandi ukamufasha no kugera ku byamunaniye, uzaba umufashije kugera ku ntego ze.

Tuvugishije ukuri, imishyikirano mufitanye ntizabura kuzamo ibibazo. Icyakora, amaherezo umuhungu wawe azumva yifuza gukomeza ubucuti mufitanye. Ubundi se, ni nde utifuza gukomeza kugirana ubucuti n’umuntu umufasha kugera kuri byinshi?

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]