Uko waganira n’abana ibirebana n’ibitsina

AHO IKIBAZO KIRI

Mu myaka mirongo ishize, ababyeyi bigishaga abana babo ibirebana n’ibitsina nta wundi urabibigisha. Babibasobanuriraga buhoro buhoro bahuje n’imyaka bafite n’ibyo bakeneye kumenya.

Ubu ibintu byarahindutse. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “muri iki gihe, ubutumwa buvuga iby’ibitsina bugera ku bakiri bato ari bwinshi kandi itangazamakuru rigenewe abana ryuzuyemo ibintu bivuga ibitsina” (The Lolita Effect). Ese ibyo bigirira abana akamaro cyangwa birabangiza?

ICYO WAGOMBYE KUMENYA

Amakuru avuga iby’ibitsina arogeye. Hari igitabo cyanditswe na Deborah Roffman (Talk to Me First) cyavuze kiti “ibiganiro, amatangazo yamamaza, filimi, ibitabo, indirimbo, ibiganiro bya televiziyo, ubutumwa, imikino, ibyapa byamamaza, telefone na za orudinateri, biba byuzuyemo amafoto, amagambo n’ibikorwa by’urukozasoni. Ibyo bituma abana bato, ingimbi n’abangavu batekereza ko kuvuga iby’ibitsina ari byiza cyane kandi ko nta cyo bitwaye.”

Amatangazo yamamaza abigiramo uruhare. Abamamaza n’abacuruzi, bacuruza imyenda y’abana ibyutsa irari ry’ibitsina, ibyo bigatuma abana bumva ko bagomba kwibanda ku bwiza kuva bakiri bato. Hari igitabo cyavuze ko “abacuruzi bazi ko abana bashukika. Ni yo mpamvu na bo babafatirana. Umucuruzi aba agamije gushishikariza abana kugura ibintu bishya; si ukubwira abana bato iby’ibitsina.”​—So Sexy So Soon.

Kugira ubumenyi ntibihagije. Kumenya imodoka no kumenya kuyitwara neza biratandukanye. Ubwo rero kumenya ibijyanye n’ibitsina na byo ntibihagije kugira ngo umuntu amenye uko yikitwara.

Inama: Muri iki gihe, ababyeyi bagomba gufasha abana babo, bakagira “ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu bwatojwe gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi.”​—Abaheburayo 5:14.

ICYO WAKORA

Jya ubigisha. Umubyeyi afite inshingano yo kuganiriza umwana ibijyanye n’ibitsina, nubwo yaba yumva bimuteye isoni.​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 22:6.

Si ngombwa kurondogora. Aho kuganira n’umwana igihe kirekire, jya ushakisha uko waganira na we igihe muri mwenyine, wenda muri nko ku rugendo cyangwa mu turimo two mu rugo. Kugira ngo arusheho kwisanzura, jya umubaza ibibazo bimushishikariza gutanga ibitekerezo. Urugero, aho kumubaza uti “ese ushimishwa n’amatangazo yamamaza avuga iby’ibitsina?” Ushobora kumubaza uti “utekereza ko ari iyihe mpamvu abacuruzi bamamaza ibicuruzwa byabo bifashishije amashusho avuga iby’ibitsina?” Namara kugusubiza wongere umubaze uti “ese ibyo bintu wowe ubibona ute?”​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7.

Jya umwigisha ukurikije imyaka afite. Abana bataratangira ishuri ushobora kubigisha amazina y’imyanya y’ibanga n’uko bakwirinda abashobora kubonona. Mu gihe bamaze kwigira hejuru, ushobora kubasobanurira iby’ibanze mu bijyanye n’imyororokere. Bagombye kugera mu gihe cy’ubugimbi bamaze kumenya imiterere y’ibitsina n’uko bakwirinda ubusambanyi.

Jya umwigisha amahame agenga umuco. Byaba byiza utangiye umubwira ibyo kuba inyangamugayo, kuba indahemuka no kubaha abandi kuva akiri muto. Iyo amaze kubimenya, kumuganiriza iby’ibitsina biroroha. Nanone jya umusobanurira neza amahame ugenderaho. Urugero, ushobora kumubwira ko gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina mbere yo gushaka ari bibi. Mubwire impamvu ari bibi n’ingaruka zabyo. Hari igitabo cyavuze kiti “iyo ababyeyi babwiye abana babo ko batagomba gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina mbere yo gushaka, ntibayikora.”​—Beyond the Big Talk.

Jya ubaha urugero rwiza. Ibyo ubigisha nawe jya ubikurikiza. Ese iyo wumvise urwenya rwerekeza ku bitsina uraseka? Ese wambara imyenda ibyutsa irari ry’ibitsina? Ese ugira agakungu? Niba ubikora, bishobora gutesha agaciro ibyo wigisha abana bawe.​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abaroma 2:21.

Ntugacireho iteka imibonano mpuzabitsina. Imibonano mpuzabitsina ni impano ituruka ku Mana kandi ishobora gutuma tugira ibyishimo (Imigani 5:18, 19). Jya usobanurira umwana wawe ko azishimira iyo mpano igihe nikigera, adahangayikishijwe n’ingaruka zamugeraho aramutse asambanye.​—1 Timoteyo 1:18, 19.