Nakora iki mu gihe hari umbuza amahwemo ashaka ko turyamana?

Ibyo bishatse kuvuga iki?

Kubuza umuntu amahwemo ushaka ko muryamana, bikubiyemo gushaka ko muryamana kandi we atabishaka, urugero nko kumukorakora cyangwa kumubwira amagambo yerekeza ku mibonano mpuzabitsina. Icyakora, hari igihe kumenya aho ibyo bitandukaniye no gutera urwenya cyangwa kugirana agakungu n’uwo mudahuje igitsina, bigorana.

Ese waba uzi aho bitandukaniye? Reka dukore umwitozo uri budufashe kubimenya.

Ikibabaje ni uko n’iyo urangije amashuri, uba ushobora guhura n’abantu bakubuza amahwemo bashaka ko muryamana. Icyakora niwigirira icyizere kandi ukamenya uko wahangana n’abo bantu, bizatuma umenya uko wabirinda n’igihe uzaba ugeze mu kazi. Ushobora no gutuma badakomeza kuburabuza abandi.

Niba mbuzwa amahwemo n’umuntu ushaka ko turyamana, nakora iki?

Kurwanya abantu nk’abo birushaho koroha, iyo uzi amayeri bakoresha, ukamenya n’uko wabyitwaramo. Dore ibintu bitatu ushobora guhura na byo n’uko wabyitwaramo.

ICYA MBERE:

“Igihe nari mu kazi, hari abantu bandutaga kure, bahoraga bambwira ko ndi mwiza, kandi ko bifuzaga kongera kuba bato, imyaka bafite ikagabanukaho 30. Umwe muri bo yaranankurikiraga akagenda yihumuriza imisatsi yanjye.”​—Tabitha ufite imyaka 20.

Tabitha yashoboraga kwibwira ati “ahari nimureka ngakomeza kwihangana, azageraho abireke.”

Impamvu ibyo bitari kugira icyo bigeraho: Impuguke zivuga ko iyo umuntu akubuza amahwemo ashaka ko muryamana maze ukamwihorera, ashyekerwa ndetse akaba yanarushaho.

Ahubwo dore icyo wakora: Gira ubutwari maze ubwire uwo muntu ko utazakomeza kwihanganira ibyo avuga n’ibyo akora, ubimubwire utuje ariko udaciye ku ruhande. Taryn ufite imyaka 22 yaravuze ati “iyo hagize unkoraho mu buryo budakwiriye, mpita mpindukira nkamwihanangiriza, nkamusaba kutazongera kunkoraho na rimwe. Ibyo bituma ahita abona ko yanyibeshyeho.” Uwo muntu niyongera, uzakomeze guhangana na we nta gucogora. Mu birebana no gukomeza gukurikiza amahame mbwirizamuco yo mu rwego rwo hejuru, Bibiliya itanga inama igira iti ‘muhagarare mushikamye, mube abantu bakuze kandi mwigirire icyizere.’​—Abakolosayi 4:12, The New Testament in Contemporary Language.

Wakora iki niba ubona uwo muntu ashaka kukugirira nabi? Icyo gihe ntuzahangane na we. Ahubwo uzahite uhunga, maze ugishe inama umuntu mukuru wizeye.

ICYA KABIRI:

“Igihe nigaga mu wa gatandatu, hari abakobwa babiri bamfatiye mu kirongozi cy’ishuri. Umwe muri bo yaryamanaga n’abandi bakobwa kandi yifuzaga ko dusohokana. Narabyanze, ariko bakomeje kumbuza amahwemo ndetse n’igihe twabaga turi mu ishuri. Hari n’igihe bansunitse nikubita ku rukuta.”​—Victoria, 18.

Victoria yashoboraga kwibwira ati ‘ngize uwo mbibwira, abantu bavuga ko ndi ikigwari kandi wenda nta n’uwakwemera ko ibyo mvuga ari ukuri.’

Impamvu ibyo bitari kugira icyo bigeraho: Wifashe ntugire undi muntu ubibwira, uwo muntu ukubuza amahwemo ashobora gukomeza ndetse akabikorera n’abandi.​—Umubwiriza 8:11.

Ahubwo dore icyo wakora: Gisha inama. Ababyeyi bawe n’abarimu bashobora kugufasha kumenya uko wakwitwara kuri uwo muntu. Ariko se byagenda bite mu gihe abo ubibwiye batabihaye agaciro? Dore icyo wakora: igihe cyose hagize ukubuza amahwemo, andika uko byagenze. Andika itariki, isaha n’aho byabereye, kandi wandike ibyo uwo muntu yakubwiye. Nurangiza uzahe urwo rupapuro ababyeyi bawe cyangwa mwarimu. Abantu benshi baha agaciro ibyo umuntu yanditse kurusha ibyo ababwiye.

ICYA GATATU:

“Hari umusore ukina rugubi natinyaga cyane. Yari afite uburebure bwa metero hafi ebyiri, apima ibiro bigera hafi ku 135. Yari yarahize ko azaryamana nanjye. Yamaze umwaka wose ambuza amahwemo hafi buri munsi. Umunsi umwe, nagiye kubona mbona dusigaranye twenyine mu ishuri, maze atangira kunyegera. Nahise mpaguruka, nsohoka mu ishuri niruka ndamuhunga.”​—Julieta, ufite imyaka 18.

Julieta yashoboraga kwibwira ati ‘abahungu ni ko babaye.’

Impamvu ibyo bitari kugira icyo bigeraho: Umuntu ukubuza amahwemo ashaka ko muryamana ntashobora kubireka, niba abantu bose bumva ko ibyo akora nta cyo bitwaye.

Ahubwo dore icyo wakora: Ntukabifate nk’imikino. Ahubwo isura yawe yagombye kugaragariza uwo muntu ukubuza amahwemo ibyo wemera n’ibyo udashobora kwihanganira.

Nakora iki?

INKURU YA MBERE:

“Ubundi sinkunda gukankamira abantu. Bityo rero n’iyo abasore bakomezaga kumbuza amahwemo, narabiyamaga ariko ntakomeje, kandi nkabasubiza nisekera. Ibyo byatumaga bumva ko dushobora gukomeza kugirana ubucuti.”​—Tabitha.

• Iyo uza kuba uri Tabitha, wari kwitwara ute kuri abo bantu bamubuzaga amahwemo bashaka ko baryamana? Kubera iki?

• Ni iki gishobora gutuma umuntu ukubuza amahwemo yibwira ko nawe ushaka ko mugirana agakungu?

INKURU YA KABIRI:

“Byose byatangiye abasore babiri twiganaga bambwira amagambo adakwiriye igihe twari muri siporo. Namaze ibyumweru bike nirengagiza ibyo bambwiraga, ariko ibintu byagendaga birushaho kuzamba. Abo basore batangiye kujya banyicara iruhande no kumfata ku rutugu. Narabasunikaga ariko bagakomeza. Amaherezo, umwe muri bo yampaye urupapuro rwanditseho amagambo mabi. Naruhaye mwarimu, maze uwo musore yirukanwa ku ishuri. Nabonye ko nagombye kuba narabibwiye mwarimu hakiri kare.”​—Sabina.

• Kuki wumva ko Sabina yagombye kuba yarabibwiye mwarimu hakiri kare? Ese utekereza ko umwanzuro yafashe wari ukwiriye? Kuki ari uko ubibona?

INKURU YA GATATU:

“Hari umuhungu wasanze musaza wanjye Greg aho bogera, maze aramwegera cyane aramubwira ati ‘nsoma.’ Greg yarabyanze ariko uwo muhungu yanga kugenda. Byabaye ngombwa ko Greg amusunika.”​—Suzanne.

• Ese ukeka ko uwo muntu yabuzaga Greg amahwemo ashaka ko baryamana? Kuki ari uko ubibona?

• Utekereza ko ari iki gituma abahungu bamwe na bamwe batinya kuvuga ko hari mugenzi wabo ubabuza amahwemo ashaka ko baryamana?

• Ese ubona Greg yarabyitwayemo neza? Wowe wari gukora iki?