Bobabe Bangahlala Njani Basondzelene Nemadvodzana Abo?

“BABE, ukwatelaphi konkhe loku?” Kwake kwenteka yini kutsi indvodzana yakho ikubute lombuto? Kungenteka kutsi ngaleso sikhatsi wativa ujabula ngekuba ngubabe. Kodvwa lapho indvodzana yakho isebentisa seluleko lesihlakaniphile loyiniketa sona futsi itfola tinzuzo taloko, akungabateki kutsi wajabula kakhulu.a—Taga 23:15, 24.

Nanobe kunjalo, indvodzana yakho isakutsandza yini njengobe bekunjalo kucala? Njengobe ikhula, inhlonipho lebeyinayo ngawe ayikanciphi yini? Ungahlala njani usondzelene nendvodzana yakho njengobe ikhulela ebudvodzeni? Asesicale sicoce ngaletinye tinsayeya bobabe labahlangabetana nato.

Tinsayeya Letintsatfu Letivamile

1. KUBA BETE SIKHATSI: Emaveni lamanyenti, bobabe ngibo labasebentako kute bondle likhaya. Etikhatsini letinyenti, umsebenti wabo wenta kutsi bacitse lilanga lonkhe bangekho ekhaya. Kuletinye tindzawo, bobabe bacitsa sikhatsi lesincane kakhulu nebantfwana babo. Nasi sibonelo: Luhlolo lwakamuva lolwentiwe eFrance luveta kutsi bobabe kulelo live bacitsa sikhatsi lesingaba ngaphansi kwemizuzu lengu-12 lilanga ngalinye banakekela bantfwana babo.

CABANGA NGALOKU: Singakanani sikhatsi losicitsa nendvodzana yakho? Kuleliviki lelilodvwa nobe lamabili lalandzelako, kungaba njani kutsi ubhale sikhatsi losicitsa nayo lilanga ngalinye? Utawumangala ngaloko lotawukutfola!

2. KUNGAKHULISWA KAHLE: Labanye bobabe abazange bacitse sikhatsi lesinyenti nabobabe babo. Jean-Marie, lohlala eFrance utsi: “Bengingakavami kucitsa sikhatsi lesinyenti nababe wami.” Loku kumtsintse njani? Utsi: “Kungibangele tinkinga lebengingacabangi kutsi tingaba khona. Sibonelo saloku kutsi ngikutfola kumatima kucoca ngetintfo letakhako nemadvodzana ami.” Kuletinye timo, lamanye emadvodza abebati kahle bobabe bawo, kodvwa abengakasondzelani nabo. Philippe, loneminyaka lengu-43 utsi: “Babe wami abengakhombisi kutsi uyangitsandza. Ngesizatfu saloko kufanele ngisebente kamatima kute ngitsandze indvodzana yami.”

CABANGA NGALOKU: Ucabanga kutsi buhlobo lonabo nababe wakho buyayitsintsa yini indlela lophatsa ngayo indvodzana yakho? Kuke kwenteke yini utitfole ulingisa imikhuba lemihle nobe lemibi yababe wakho? Loko kwenteka njani?

3. KUNGATFOLI TELULEKO LETINHLE: Kulamanye emave, indzima yababe ekukhuliseni bantfwana ibukelwa phansi. Luca, lowakhulela kulelinye live lelisenshonalanga yeYurophu utsi: “Endzaweni lengakhulela kuyo, bantfu bebacabanga kutsi umfati nguye lokufanele anakekele bantfwana.” Kuletinye tindzawo, bobabe bakhutsatwa kutsi babe nesandla lesicinile nabakhipha siyalo kodvwa bangabi nandzaba naletinye tintfo. Cabanga ngaGeorge lowakhulela e-Afrika. Utsi: “Ngelisiko lakitsi, bobabe abadlali nebantfwana babo ngobe besaba kutsi loko kutawehlisa sitfunti sabo. Ngako ngikutfola kumatima kujabulela kucitsa sikhatsi nendvodzana yami.”

CABANGA NGALOKU: Emmangweni wakini, bobabe balindzeleke kutsi badlale yiphi indzima? Bafundziswa kutsi batsatse kukhulisa bantfwana njengemsebenti wabomake yini? Bayakhutsatwa yini kutsi batsandze emadvodzana abo, nobe loko akwemukeleki?

Nangabe uhlangabetana nalenye yaletinsayeya letibalwe ngenhla, ungaphumelela njani? Cabanga ngaloku lokulandzelako.

Sheshe Ucale

Kubonakala shengatsi emadvodzana atalwa anesifiso sekulingisa bobabe bawo. Ngako-ke, sisebentise kahle lesifiso lapho indvodzana yakho iseyincane. Ungakwenta njani loko? Ungasitfola njani sikhatsi longasicitsa nayo?

Nangabe kungenteka, yenta imisebenti yakho yamalanga onkhe kanye nendvodzana yakho. Nasi sibonelo: Nawusebenta, cela indvodzana yakho kutsi ikusite. Ungayiniketa umshanyelo nobe lifosholo lelincane kute isebente nawe. Akungabateki kutsi itawukujabulela kusebenta kanye nababe wayo lemtsandzako nalefuna kumlingisa. Kungenteka ningasheshi kucedza, kodvwa buhlobo benu butawucina futsi itawufundza kukhutsala. Endvulo, liBhayibheli lakhutsata bobabe kutsi basebente kanye nebantfwana babo, futsi lawo matfuba bawasebentisele kukhulumisana nabo kanye nekubafundzisa. (Dutheronomi 6:6-9) Leseluleko sisasebenta nalamuhla.

Ngetulu kwekusebenta nendvodzana yakho, tinikete sikhatsi sekudlala nayo. Kudlala akugcini ngekunenta nijabule kuphela. Luhlolo luveta kutsi nangabe bobabe badlala nebantfwana babo labancane, babakhutsata kutsi babe nesibindzi.

Nangabe babe adlala nendvodzana yakhe, loko kufeza lenye injongo lebalulekile. Umhloli longuMichel Fize utsi: “Kudlala kuvula litfuba lekutsi indvodzana icocisane nababe wayo.” Nakudlalwa, babe angaveta lutsandvo lanalo ngendvodzana yakhe ngemavi nangetento. Nakenta njalo, ufundzisa indvodzana yakhe indlela yekuveta lutsandvo. André, longubabe lohlala eJalimane utsi: “Ngesikhatsi indvodzana yami iseseyincane, sasivame kudlala ndzawonye. Ngangiyanga futsi nayo yafundza kungitsandza.”

Sikhatsi sekulala sivula lelinye litfuba lekutsi bobabe bacinise lutsandvo emkhatsini wabo nemadvodzana abo. Yifundzele njalo tindzaba letitsite, bese uyayilalela njengobe iveta tintfo letiyijabulisile naletiyikhatsatile ngalelo langa. Nawenta njalo, kutawuba melula ngayo kutsi ichubeke ikhulumisana nawe njengobe ikhula.

Chubekani Nenta Tintfo Lenititsandzako Ndzawonye

Lamanye emadvodzana laseminyakeni yekutfomba angabonakala shengatsi akayijabuleli imetamo yabobabe bawo yekucoca nawo. Nangabe kubonakala shengatsi indvodzana yakho ayifuni kuphendvula imibuto yakho, ungaphetsi ngekutsi ayifuni kukukhulumisa. Kungenteka kutsi ikujabulele kucoca nawe nangabe ushintja indlela loyikhulumisa ngayo.

Jacques, longubabe lohlala eFrance, abevame kukutfola kumatima kukhulumisana naJérôme, indvodzana yakhe. Kodvwa kunekutsi amphocelele kutsi akhulume, abeshintja indlela yakhe—bahambe bayodlala ibhola bobabili. Jacques utsi: “Sasitsi nasicedza kudlala, sihlale etjanini bese siyaphumula. Ngaleto tikhatsi, indvodzana yami yayibese ingitfululela sifuba sayo. Ngicabanga kutsi kwati kutsi sasisobabili kuphela kwayenta yakhululeka futsi sasondzelana.”

Kutsiwani nangabe indvodzana yakho ingakutsandzi kudlala imidlalo? André uhlale atikhumbula tikhatsi labeticitsa nendvodzana yakhe babuka tinkhanyeti. Utsi: “Sasibeka titulo ngephandle ebusuku. Besibese sembatsa tingubo, sinatse litiya, futsi sibuke sibhakabhaka. Sasikhuluma ngaLoyo lowadala tinkhanyeti, kanye nangetindzaba tetfu. Kute lesasingacoci ngako.”—Isaya 40:25, 26.

Kutsiwani nangabe ungatsandzi kwenta letinye tintfo letitsandvwa yindvodzana yakho? Nangabe kunjalo, kutawudzingeka kutsi utibekele eceleni tintfo letitsandvwa nguwe. (Filiphi 2:4) Ian, lohlala eNingizimu Afrika utsi: “Bengikutsandza kakhulu kudlala imidlalo kwendlula Vaughan indvodzana yami. Yena abetsandza tindiza kanye nabongcondvomshini. Ngako-ke nami ngagcina sengititsandza leto tintfo, ngangihamba naye emidlalweni yetindiza futsi ngidlala naye tindiza kungcondvomshini. Ngicabanga kutsi njengobe sasenta tintfo letijabulisako ndzawonye, Vaughan wakwati kubhobokelana nami.”

Mente Atetsembe

“Babe, asewubuke naku!” Kuke kwenteka yini kutsi indvodzana yakho leseyincane isho lamavi lapho yente intfo letsite? Nangabe seyikhulile, isakhululeka yini kusho emavi lanjalo? Mhlawumbe loko ayisakwenti. Kodvwa isakudzinga kunconywa nguwe kute ikhule ibe ngumuntfu lomdzala lovutsiwe.

Cabanga ngendlela Nkulunkulu Jehova labeka ngayo sibonelo nakasebentelana nalenye yemadvodzana akhe. Ngesikhatsi Jesu atawucala umsebenti lokhetsekile ekuphileni kwakhe kwasemhlabeni, Nkulunkulu waluveta lutsandvo labenalo ngaye, watsi: “Lena yiNdvodzana yami, letsandzekako, lengijabula ngayo.” (Matewu 3:17; 5:48) Kuliciniso kutsi unesibopho sekuyala kanye nekufundzisa indvodzana yakho. (Efesu 6:4) Kodvwa uyawafuna yini ematfuba ekuyincoma ngetintfo letinhle letentako nobe letishoko?

Labanye bobabe bakutfola kumatima kuncoma kanye nekutsandza bantfwana babo. Kungenteka kutsi bakhulela emindenini lapho batali babo bebanaka emaphutsa abo kunalokuhle labebakwenta. Nangabe nakuwe kunjalo, kutawudzingeka wente umetamo lomkhulu kute usite indvodzana yakho itetsembe. Ungakwenta njani loko? Luca, locashunwe ekucaleni, uvame kwenta imisebenti yasekhaya naManuel, indvodzana yakhe leneminyaka lengu-15 budzala. Luca utsi: “Ngaletinye tikhatsi ngimtjela kutsi acale umsebenti lotsite futsi ngitawumsita nangabe angidzinga. Etikhatsini letinyenti, uyakhona kuwenta ayedvwa loyo msebenti. Loko kumenta ative enetisekile futsi atetsemba. Nakenta kahle, ngiyamncoma. Nangabe angenti ngendlela labelindzele ngayo, ngiyamtjela kutsi ngiyawujabulela umetamo wakhe.”

Nawe ungenta indvodzana yakho itetsembe ngekutsi uyisite ifinyelele imigomo lebalulekile ekuphileni kwayo. Kutsiwani-ke nangabe indvodzana yakho ingasheshi kufinyelela leyo migomo njengobe bewulindzele? Kutsiwani nangabe imigomo yayo yehlukile kuloko lobewukucabanga, ngisho nobe ingasimibi? Esimeni lesinjalo, kungadzingeka ushintje loko lobewukulindzele kuyo. Jacques, locashunwe ekucaleni utsi: “Ngiyetama kusita indvodzana yami kutsi itibekele imigomo lengayifinyelela. Kodvwa ngetama kuciniseka kutsi leyo yimigomo yayo, hhayi yami. Ngibese ngiyatikhumbuta kutsi kufanele ifinyelele leyo migomo ngendlela yayo.” Nangabe uyilalela imibono yendvodzana yakho, uyincoma kulokuhle lekwentako, futsi uyikhutsata kutsi ilungise emaphutsa ayo, utawube uyisita kutsi ifinyelele imigomo yayo.

Kuliciniso kutsi nitawuba nato tinkinga ebuhlotjeni benu. Kodvwa ekugcineni, indvodzana yakho itawufuna kuhlala isondzelene nawe. Phela kute longafuni kuhlale asondzelene nemuntfu lotawumsita kutsi aphumelele.

[Umbhalo longentansi]