TINDLELA TEKWENTA UMNDENI UJABULE

Tinkinga Temndeni Lonebantfwana Lokutiwe Nabo Embili

MARGARET,a MAKE WASE-AUSTRALIA LOKHULISA BANTFWANA LANGABATALI UTSI: “Umfati lobekashade nendvodza yami utjele bantfwana bakhe kutsi bangakulaleli konkhe lengibatjela kona—ngisho netintfo letincane letinjengekutsi: ‘Ubokhumbula kugeza ematinyo.’” Margaret utsi umshado wakhe ube netinkinga ngesizatfu saletindlela tekufundzisa letehlukile.

Imindeni lenebantfwana lokutiwe nabo embili ihlangabetana netinsayeya letehlukile ebuhlotjeni babo nalabo labangephandle kwemndeni wabo.b Batali labanyenti labahlala nebantfwana labangabatali kudzingeka bakhulume nemtali wemntfwana mayelana netindzaba tekuvakasha, tekuyala nekondla umntfwana. Bangani netihlobo nabo bangase bakutfole kumatima kwetayela lelilunga lemndeni lelisha. Ase ubuke kutsi seluleko seliBhayibheli singawusita njani lomndeni wakho lomusha kutsi ulungise letinkinga.

BUHLOBO BEKUCALA: UMTALI WEMNTFWANA

Judith make waseNamibia lokhulisa bantfwana langabatali utsi: “Make webantfwana lengihlala nabo watjela labantfwana kutsi mine ngimane nje ngingumfati lomusha wababe wabo, nekutsi nakungenteka ngibe nebantfwana angeke babe bakubo. Emavi akhe angivisa buhlungu kakhulu ngobe bantfwana bakhe ngibatsandza shengatsi bami.”

Tati tiyavuma kutsi buhlobo lobuba semkhatsini wemtali mbamba webantfwana nalayo longabatali, buvame kuba netinkinga letehlukanisa umndeni. Ngalokuvamile, kuvame kuba ngumake webantfwana loba nenkinga nalomtali lomusha. Yini lengasita?

Indlela yekuphumelela: Beka imitsetfo lekhombisa kucabangela. Nangabe wetama kungamkhulumisi lona lomunye umtali, ungase ulimate imivelo yebantfwana bakho.c Batali mbamba bemntfwana babaluleke kakhulu kumntfwana wabo. (Taga 23:22, 25) Ngakulokunye, nangabe uvumela loyo lobewushade naye kutsi abe nesandla kuloko lokwenta nemndeni wakho, kungamphatsa kabi lona loshade naye nobe kumtfukutselise. Yetama kulinganisela, beka imitsetfo lekhombisa kucabangela kute uvikele umshado wakho, ngesikhatsi lesifanako uchubeke ubambisana nemtali webantfwana bakho.

LOKUNGENTIWA BATALI

Nawukhuluma naloyo lobewushade naye, khuluma ngebantfwana benu nciphisa kukhuluma ngaletinye tintfo. Sibonelo saloko kutsi ngekuhlakanipha ungase umbute kutsi ngusiphi sikhatsi longamshayela ngaso lucingo emini. Ngalokuvamile loko kuyasebenta kunekumane ushaye nganome ngusiphi sikhatsi nobe ebusuku.
Nangabe inkantolo ingakavumi kutsi uhlale nebantfwabakho, mhlawumbe ungase ubashayele lucingo, ubabhalele tincwadzi, ubatfumelele imilayeto nobe ubatfumelele i-e-mail kute uchumane nabo. (Dutheronomi 6:6, 7) Labanye badzimate basebentise skype. Ungase ubati kancono bantfwabakho—ubanikete seluleko lesingabasita—ngendlela lobewungacabangi ngayo.

LOKUNGENTIWA NGUMAKE LONGABATALI LABANTFWANA

Mkhombise ‘luvelo’ make walabantfwana ngekumcacisela kutsi awetami kutsatsa sikhundla sakhe. (1 Phetro 3:8) Mtjele nangabe labantfwana bakhe banawe, ukhulume naye ngetintfo letinhle. (Taga 16:24) Sicele seluleko sakhe, umbonge nakakuniketa sona.
Ungababonisi ngalokwecile lutsandvo labantfwana nangabe akhona unina wabo. Beverly, make lokhulisa bantfwana langabatali eMelika, utsi: “Bantfwana bendvodza yakhe bebafuna kungibita ngaMake. Savumelana nabo kutsi kulungile bangangibita nasisekhaya, kodvwa bangangibiti ngaMake nabanenina wabo, Jane, nobe naba nemndeni wakhe. Mine naJane sevana kakhulu ngemuva kwaloko. Ecinisweni, saselekelelana ekusiteni labantfwana ngemidlalo yesikolwa nalapho bavakasha nalabanye bantfwana labafundza nabo.”

Ungaba nebuhlobo lobuhle nebantfwana bakho

LOKUNGASITA BATALI NEBATALI LABANGABATALI LABANTFWANA KUTSI BAVANE

Kutitfoba nekuhlonipha kugcina umndeni unekuthula

Ungakhulumi kabi beva labantfwana ngemtali longekho nobe ngemtali longabatali. Kumelula kuvele ukhulume kabi, kodvwa kuyamcindzetela lomntfwana. Ungete wati kutsi lomntfwana utakukhuluma njani loko kumtali wakhe. (Umshumayeli 10:20) Nangabe umntfwana atsi lona lomunye umtali nobe umtali longamtali abekhuluma kabi ngawe, naka imivelo yalomntfwana. Ungase utsi: “Ngiva buhlungu kutsi uve loko. Make wakho abengicansukele, futsi ngaletinye tikhatsi bantfu nabatfukutsele basho tintfo letimbi.”
Yetamani kubeka imitsetfo netijeziso letifanako emitini yomibili. Nakungeke kwenteke loko, mchazele umntfwana sizatfu ngaphandle kwekubukela phansi lona lomunye umtali. Cabanga ngalesimo lesilandzelako:

Make longakutali: Vusi, ngicela weneke lelithawula lelimanti.

Vusi: Ekhaya siwashiya phansi make aweneke.

Make longakutali (ngekutfukutsela): Lomake wenu unifundzisa buvila.

Ingaba ncono yini nansi imphendvulo lelandzelako?

Make longakutali (ngemoya lophansi): Ngiyakuva, lakhaya siyatenekela mfana wami.
Yetama kungabaniketi imisebenti labantfwana ngesikhatsi lesicondzana naleso labaya ngaso kulona lomunye umtali. (Matewu 7:12) Nangabe ungeke ukhone kusihlehlisa sikhatsi salomsebenti, tfola imvume kulona lomunye umtali ngaphambi kwekutjela labantfwana loko lokufanele bakwente.

YETAMA LOKU: Yetama kwenta loku lokulandzelako nawubonana naloyo lobewushade naye nobe naloyo lobekashade nalona loshade naye:

Mbuke emehlweni umoyitele. Ungaphefumuleli etulu nobe ukhombise kutsi awunendzaba naye.
Mbingelele umbite ngelibito lakhe. Mhlawumbe ungatsi, “Sawubona, Ntombifuthi.”
Nangabe nilicembu lebantfu, mfake naye kuloko lenicoca ngako.

BUHLOBO BESIBILI: BANTFWANA LABAKHULILE

Incwadzi letsi Step Wars yacaphuna kutsi lomunye umtali ukhala ngekutsi indvodza yakhe ivama kutsatsa luhlangotsi lwebantfwana bayo lasebakhulile futsi ayivumelani nekutsi bangiphatsa kabi. Utsi: “Intfukutselo yami ivele iphakame.” Ungabugcina njani buhlobo bakho nalabantfwana kute bungabhidliti umshado wakho?

Indlela yekuphumelela: Bani neluvelo. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Akubete lotifunela kwakhe, akube ngulowo nalowo afunele lomunye.” (1 Khorinte 10:24) Yetama kucondza kutsi lona lomunye umtali utiva njani. Labantfwana lasebakhulile bangase besabe kulahlekelwa lutsandvo lwebatali babo. Nobe bangase bacabange kutsi kwemukela umtali longabatali, kungasho kungetsembeki emalungwini emndeni wakubo. Batali bona bangase bakhatsateke ngekutsi kungakhulumi kahle ngebantfwababo kungabehlukanisa nabo.

Kunekutsi wetame kwakha bungani ngenkhani, vumela kutsi buhlobo bakho nebantfwana longabatali butikhulele. Ngalokuvamile, akusiko kuhlakanipha kwetama kuphocelela nobe kucindzetela umuntfu kutsi ative atsandvwa sibili. (Ingoma Yetingoma 8:4) Ngako-ke, tibekele imigomo lelinganiselwe nakutiwa ebuhlotjeni bakho nebantfwana longabatali.

Ungakusho konkhe lokucabangako nobe indlela lotiva ngayo, ngisho nobe uphatfwa kabi. (Taga 29:11) Nangabe ubona kutsi uyehluleka kulawula indlela lokhuluma ngayo, thantaza njengobe kwenta iNkhosi Davide yaka-Israyeli: “Simakadze, beka umlindzi emlonyeni wami; ungeluse, ngingakhulumi lutfo ngemawala.”—Tihlabelelo 141:3.

Nangabe ukhetsa kuhlala endlini bantfwana labakhulela kuyo, ungahle umangale ngendlela labayitsanda ngayo. Yetama kungenti lushintjo lolukhulu kuyo, ngalokukhetsekile emakamelweni abo. Ungakucabangela nekutfutsela kulenye indlu.

YETAMA LOKU: Nangabe bantfwana labadzala longabatali bachubeka bakwedzelela nobe bakhombisa kutsi abakuhloniphi, khuluma naloshade naye ngendlela lotiva ngayo mlalelisise kuloko lakushoko. Ungamcindzeteli lona loshade naye kutsi eluleke labantfwana. Kunaloko, yetama kwakha kucondza emkhatsini wenu nobabili. ‘Nasenivumelene’ ngaloko benikhuluma ngako, ningakwati kusebenta ndzawonye ekutfutfukiseni leso simo.—2 Khorinte 13:11.

Yetama kubabonisa lutsandvo bonkhe labantfwana emndenini

BUHLOBO BESITSATFU: LETINYE TIHLOBO NEBANGANI

Marion, wase Canada lokhulisa umntfwana wakhe nebendvodza yakhe, utsi: “Batali bami bebavame kuniketa indvodzana yami tipho kodvwa bangabaniki bantfwana bendvodza yami. Besetama kubatsengela tsine kodvwa ngaletinye tikhatsi besingakhoni.”

Indlela yekuphumelela: Umndeni wakho lomusha awute kucala kuwe. Tjela tihlobo takho nebangani ngendlela lotimisele ngayo kunamatsela kulomndeni wakho lomusha. (1 Thimothi 5:8) Nanobe ungeke ulindzele kutsi bavele bawutsandze lomndeni wakho, ungaticela tihlobo takho nebangani kutsi babe nemoya lomuhle. Bachazele kutsi kungaba buhlungu kangakanani kulabantfwana nangabe bangabanaki futsi bangababonisi umusa.

Yetama kuvumela bogogo namkhulu basemshandweni wakho wekucala kutsi babe nencenye ekuphileni kwebantfwana bakho. Make waseNgilandi libito lakhe lokunguSusan uyachaza: “Ngaphindze ngashada ngemuva kwetinyanga letingu-18 ngemuva kwekushona kwendvodza yami futsi kwaba matima ngebatali bayo kutsi bemukele indvodza yami lensha. Simo saba ncono lapho sesenta tintfo letinyenti nabo, bantfwana babashayela bababonga ngekubasekela kwabo.”

YETAMA LOKU: Tfola bangani nobe tihlobo lokumatima kuvana nabo, bese ucoca naloshade naye kutsi ningabutfutfukisa njani buhlobo benu nabo.

Kuba nebuhlobo nalabo labahlobene nemndeni wakho kungahle kuwubangele tinkinga lomndeni wakho lomusha. Nobe kunjalo, sebentisa teluleko temiBhalo kute umndeni wakho utfole tibusiso letetsenjiswa liBhayibheli: “Umuti wakhiwa ngekuhlakanipha, usimiswe ngekucondza.”—Taga 24:3.

a Emabito ashintjiwe.

b Kute utfole lokwengetiwe mayelana naletinkinga, fundza i-“Phaphama!” ya-April 2012 lenesihloko lesitsi: “Izimfihlo Zempumelelo Yemikhaya Enosingamzali” leshicilelwe boFakazi BaJehova ngesiZulu.

c Kuliciniso kutsi nangabe lona lobewushade naye akusongela nobe anebudlova, kungase kudzingeke ubeke imincele lecinile kute uvikele umndeni wakho.

TIBUTE LOKU . . .

Ngingakwakha njani kuvana emkhatsini wami naloyo bekashade naloyo lesengishade naye?
Singatisita njani tihlobo nebangani kutsi tingenti tintfo letingalimata umndeni wetfu?