TINDLELA TEKWENTA UMNDENI UJABULE
Khulumisana Nemntfwanakho Loseminyakeni Yekutfomba Ngekungaphikisani
“Ngesikhatsi indvodzakati yami ineminyaka lengu-14 budzala, yacala kungangihloniphi nayikhuluma nami. Nakwenteka ngitsi kuyo: ‘Sesikhatsi sekudla,’ beyiphendvula ngekutsi: ‘Ngitawudla nasengikhanuka.’ Nangabe ngiyibuta kutsi seyiyicedzile yini imisebenti lengiyinike yona, beyitsi: ‘Asewuyekele kutihlupha ngami.’ Etikhatsini letinyenti, besitikhandza sesikhulumela etulu futsi sitsetsisana.”—MAKI, JAPAN.a
Nangabe ungumtali lonemntfwana loseminyakeni yekutfomba, kuphikisana kungase kuvivinye onkhe emakhono akho ekuba ngumtali, ngisho nekubeketela kwakho. Maria waseBrazil, longumake wemntfwana loneminyaka lengu-14 budzala, utsi: “Nangabe indvodzakati yami yedzelela ligunya lami, ngitiva ngifutsetelana. Sitikhandza sesikhungatsekile kangangekutsi sititfola sesitsetsisana.” Carmela wase-Italy, naye usesimeni lesifanako. Utsi: “Kuphikisana lokuba khona emkhatsini wami nendvodzana yami kuhlale kushubile, futsi kuvame kugcina ngekutsi indvodzana yami itivalele ekamelweni layo.”
Yini lebangela kutsi labanye bantfu labasebasha bakutsandze kususa imphikiswane? Loku kubangelwa bontsanga yabo yini? Kungenteka kutsi kunjalo. LiBhayibheli litsi umuntfu longumngani wakho angakubangela kutsi wente tincumo letinhle nobe letimbi. (Taga 13:20; 1 Khorinte 15:33) Ngetulu kwaloko, bantfu labasha labanyenti balamuhla batsintfwa kakhulu luhlobo lwekutijabulisa lolwentelwe bona futsi lolukhutsata umoya wekuvukela.
Kodvwa kunaletinye tintfo lokufanele sicabange ngato—lokutintfo lokungasilukhuni kutilungisa nasewucondza kutsi tingamtsintsa njani umntfwanakho. Asesicabangele letinye tibonelo.
UKHULISA ‘EMANDLA AKHE EKUCABANGA’
Umphostoli Pawula wabhala watsi: “Ngesikhatsi ngisengumntfwana, ngangikhulumisa kwemntfwana, ngicabangisa kwemntfwana, ngisebentisa ingcondvo njengemntfwana; kodvwa nyalo njengobe sengiyindvodza, sengitiyekele tindlela tebuntfwana.” (1 Khorinte 13:11) Njengobe emavi aPawula aveta, indlela bantfu labadzala labacabanga ngayo ayifanani neyebantfwana. Ayifanani ngayiphi indlela?
Lapho bantfwana bacabanga ngesincumo labafuna kusenta, kuphela kwentfo lefika engcondvweni yabo kutsi loko labafuna kukwenta kukahle yini nobe kukabi. Ngalokuphambene, bantfu labadzala bavame kucabangisisa ngendzaba futsi bajule ngayo ngembikwekutsi bafinyelele siphetfo nobe bente sincumo. Sibonelo saloko kutsi bantfu labadzala bavame kucabanga ngemiphumela yentfo labafuna kuyenta nekutsi sincumo labatasitsatsa sitabatsintsa njani labanye. Kungenteka kutsi sebajwayelene nalendlela yekucabanga. Ngakulokunye, bantfwana bona basuke basakufundza kucabanga ngaleyondlela.
LiBhayibheli likhutsata bantfu labasebasha kutsi batfutfukise “likhono lekucabanga.” (Taga 1:4, NW.) Ecinisweni, liBhayibheli likhutsata onkhe emaKhristu kutsi asebentise ‘emandla ekucabanga.’ (Roma 12:1, 2; Hebheru 5:14) Ngalesinye sikhatsi, indlela umntfwanakho lacabanga ngayo ingase imbangele kutsi aphikisane nawe ngisho nasetintfweni letincane. Mhlawumbe angase avete umbono lokhombisa kutsi akakhoni kwehlulela kahle. (Taga 14:12) Esimeni lesinjalo, ungabonisana njani naye kunekutsi niphikisane?
YETAMA LOKU: Tsatsa shengatsi umntfwanakho wetama kusebentisa likhono lakhe lelisha lekucabanga, futsi usengakayetsembi kahle imibono yakhe. Kuze utfole loko lokusengcondvweni yakhe, cala ngekutsi umncome ngelikhono lakhe lekucabanga. (“Ngiyayitsandza indlela yakho yekucabanga, ngisho nome ngingavumelani nato tonkhe tiphetfo takho.”) Ngemuva kwaloko, msite ahlolisise indlela yakhe yekucabanga. (“Ucabanga kutsi loko losandza kukusho kuyasebenta yini kuto tonkhe timo?”) Kungase kukumangalise kuphawula kutsi umntfwanakho angayihlolisisa kabusha imibono yakhe aphindze ayishintje.
Lokufanele ukucaphele: Nawubonisana nemntfwanakho, ungalindzeli kutsi kufanele kugcine wena. Ngisho nobe kubonakala shengatsi akakulaleli loko lomtjela kona, kunyenti latakuzuza nanicocisana kwendlula loko wena lokucabangako, kodvwa kungenteka angavumi kutsi kukhona lakuzuzile. Kungakumangalisi nangabe ngemuva kwemalanga lambalwa umntfwanakho asashintja imibono yakhe atsatse yakho—ente shengatsi nguloko naye labekucabanga.
“Ngalesinye sikhatsi mine nendvodzana yami besivame kuphikisana ngetintfo letincane—sibonelo saloko kutsi besiphikisana nangimtjela kutsi angamoshi tintfo nobe ayekele kusukela sisi wakhe. Kodvwa etikhatsini letinyenti bekubonakala shengatsi abefuna ngimbute loko lakucabangako futsi ngikhombise kutsi ngiyamcondza, ngitsi: ‘Wo kantsi kunjalo’ nobe ngitsi: ‘Nguloko lokucabangako.’ Nangicabanga ngesikhatsi lesendlulile, ngiyabona kutsi kube bengikhulume kanjalo ngabe ngakuncandza lokuphikisana kwetfu.”—Kenji, Japan.
LOSEMUSHA UCALA KUBA NEMIBONO LECINILE
Batali labahlakaniphile benta bantfwababo bakhululeke kukhuluma loko labakucabangako
Lenye intfo lebalulekile nawukhulisa umntfwana losemusha kumlungiselela sikhatsi lapho atawuhamba khona ekhaya aphile njengemuntfu lomdzala lokhona kutimela. (Genesisi 2:24) Incenye yalokucecesha ihlanganisa kutsi atati kahle—lokufaka ekhatsi imikhuba yakhe, tinkholelo kanye netimiso letiveta loko langiko. Nakwenteka acindzetelwa kutsi ente lokubi, losemusha longashintji kuloko langiko angeke agcine ngekucabanga kuphela ngemiphumela yesento sakhe. Utawuphindze atibute imibuto lenjengekutsi: ‘Ngingumuntfu lonjani? Nginatiphi timiso? Yini umuntfu lonetimiso letinjengetami langayenta kulesimo lengikuso?’—2 Phetro 3:11.
LiBhayibheli likhuluma ngaJosefa, lijaha lebelitati kutsi lingumuntfu lonjani. Sibonelo saloko kutsi ngesikhatsi ancengwa ngumfati waPhotifari kutsi alale naye, Josefa waphendvula watsi: “Ngingabenta kanjani lobubi lobungaka, ngone kuNkulunkulu?” (Genesisi 39:9) Nanobe ngaleso sikhatsi ema-Israyeli abesengakanikwa umtsetfo lolahla kuphinga, Josefa waba nembono lofana newaNkulunkulu ngalendzaba. Ngetulu kwaloko, emavi latsi “ngingabenta kanjani” akhombisa kutsi abesawemukele umbono waNkulunkulu wawenta wakhe—watsintsa luhlobo lwemuntfu labengilo.—Efesu 5:1.
Ngalokufanako, nemntfwanakho solo uyakhula wetama kutati kutsi ungumuntfu lonjani. Loku kuyintfo lenhle ngobe tinkholelo takhe titamsita akwati kulwisana nekucindzetelwa bontsanga aphindze amelane nabo. (Taga 1:10-15) Ngakulokunye, kutati kahle kutsi ungumuntfu lonjani kungase kumente aphikisane nawe. Nangabe loko kwenteka, ngusiphi sinyatselo lokufanele usitsatse?
YETAMA LOKU: Kunekutsi uphikisane nemntfwanakho, yetama ngetindlela letimelula kuphindze usho loko lasandza kukusho. (“Ngifuna kuciniseka kutsi ngikuva kahle. Ngalamanye emagama utsi . . . ”) Ngemuva kwaloko mbute imibuto. (“Yini lekwenta utive ngalendlela?” nobe “Yini lekwenta ufinyelele kuleso siphetfo?”) Tfola lokusenhlitiyweni yemntfwanakho. Mente avete loko lakucabangako. Nangabe kwehluka kwembono wemntfwanakho kumane nje kuya ngekutsi unconota ini kodvwa kube kute lokubi ngalesiphetfo sakhe, mbonise kutsi uyawuhlonipha umbono wakhe nanobe ungavumelani nawo kahle.
Kuyintfo lelindzelekile futsi lelusito kutsi umntfwanakho atati kahle aphindze abe netinkholelo leticinile letihambisana naloko. LiBhayibheli litsi emaKhristu akukafaneli abe njengebantfwana ‘labajikijeleka shengatsi bajikijelwa ngemagagasi, bayiswe lena nalena ngiyo yonkhe imimoya yetimfundziso.’ (Efesu 4:14) Ngako-ke, vumela umntfwanakho atati kutsi ungumuntfu lonjani uphindze umkhutsate kutsi abe netinkholelo leticinile.
“Nangenta emadvodzakati ami abone kutsi ngiyafuna kuwalalela, kuba melula kutsi ayemukele imibono yami, ngisho nobe yehlukile kuneyawo. Ngihlale ngiciniseka kutsi angiyiphoceleli imibono yami kodvwa ngiyawavumela kutsi nawo abe nemibono yawo.”—Ivana, Czech Republic.
KUMELA EMACINISO KODVWA UCABANGELE
Njengebantfwana labancane, bantfwana labaseminyakeni yekutfomba bavame kuphindzaphindza indzaba yinye kute betame kwenta batali babo bashintje ingcondvo. Nangabe loko kwenteka emahlandla lamanyenti ekhaya lakho, kufanele ukunake. Nanobe kubavumela kuleyontfo labayifunako kungase kukuphumute sikhashana, kodvwa loko kufundzisa umntfwanakho kutsi kuphikisa ngiko lokwenta umuntfu agcine ayitfolile intfo layifunako. Ungasilungisa njani lesimo? Landzela seluleko saJesu lesitsi: “Kuphela nje, ‘Yebo’ wenu akabe nguyebo, na-‘Cha’ wenu abe ngucha.” (Matewu 5:37) Mancane ematfuba ekutsi bantfwabakho labasebasha bakuphikise nangabe bati kutsi awugucuki kuloko lokushito.
Ngesikhatsi lesifanako, bonisa kucabangela. Nasi sibonelo: Niketa umntfwanakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba litfuba lekutsi achaze kutsi yini lementa akhonone afune kutsi sikhatsi lombekele sona sekutsi abuye ekhaya sishintje etimeni letitsite. Esimeni lesinjalo, usuke ungaticindzeteli kodvwa ulandzela seluleko seliBhayibheli lesitsi: “Kucabangela kwenu akwatiwe.”—Filiphi 4:5.
YETAMA LOKU: Bamba umhlangano nemndeni wakho lenitawucoca kuwo ngetikhatsi tekubuya ekhaya kanye naleminye imitsetfo yasekhaya. Veta kutsi utimisele kubalalela uphindze ucabangele tonkhe tintfo letitsintsekako ngembikwekutsi wente sincumo. Roberto, longubabe lohlala eBrazil utsi: “Bantfwana kufanele babone kutsi batali babo batimisele kuvuma sicelo sabo nangabe singekho simiso seliBhayibheli lesephulwako.”
Kuliciniso kutsi kute umtali longawenti emaphutsa. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Sonkhe siyona tikhatsi letinyenti.” (Jakobe 3:2) Nawutfola kutsi nawe unesandla kulokuphikisana, ungangabati kuvele ucolise kumntfwanakho. Kuvuma emaphutsa akho kukwenta ube sibonelo sekutfobeka, kuphindze kuvule nendlela yekutsi umntfwanakho acolise.
“Ngemuva kwekuphikisana kwetfu, ngesikhatsi nentfukutselo yami seyibohlile, ngacolisa endvodzaneni yami ngelulaka lebengibe nalo. Loko kwayisita kutsi nayo yehlise intfukutselo futsi kwaba melula kutsi ingilalele.”—Kenji, Japan.
a Emabito ashintjiwe.
TIBUTE . . .
Ngutiphi tintfo letingenta ngiphikisane nemntfwanami loseminyakeni yekutfomba?
Ngingakusebentisa njani lokwatiswa lokukulesihloko kute ngimati kancono umntfwanami?
Ngingacocisana njani nemntfwanami ngaphandle kwekutsi siphikisane?