Hoko ʻo Anga-fakatōkilalo

KO E HĀ ʻA E ANGA-FAKATŌKILALO?

Ko e kakai anga-fakatōkilaló ʻoku nau anga-fakaʻapaʻapa. ʻOku ʻikai ke nau hīkisia, pea ʻoku ʻikai ke nau ʻamanekina ke fakafeangai makehe ange ʻa e niʻihi kehé. ʻI hono kehé, ko ha tokotaha anga-fakatōkilalo ʻokú ne mahuʻingaʻia loto-moʻoni ʻi he niʻihi kehé pea loto-lelei ke ako meiate kinautolu.

ʻI he taimi ʻe niʻihi ko e anga-fakatōkilaló ʻoku faʻa pehē ko ha vaivaiʻanga. Ka ko hono moʻoní, ko ha mālohinga ia ʻokú ne tokoniʻi ʻa e kakaí ke nau lāuʻilo ki heʻenau tōnounoú pea fakahaaʻi honau ngaahi fakangatangatá.

KO E HĀ ʻOKU MAHUʻINGA AI ʻA E ANGA-FAKATŌKILALÓ?

• Ko e anga-fakatōkilaló ʻoku ʻaonga ki he tauhi vaá. “Ko hono fakakātoá, ko e kakai anga-fakatōkilaló ʻoku nau fetaulaki lelei ange mo e niʻihi kehé,” ko e lau ia ʻa e tohi The Narcissism Epidemic. ʻOku toe pehē ai ko e kakai peheé ʻoku “faingofua ange ke nau feohi mo e kakai kehé pea mo e māmaní fakalūkufua.”

• Ko e anga-fakatōkilaló ʻoku ʻaonga ki he kahaʻu hoʻo kiʻi tamá. Ko e ako ke hoko ʻo anga-fakatōkilaló te ne tokoniʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá fakatouʻosi ʻi he taimí ni pea ʻi heʻene fuʻu lahí​—ko e fakatātaá, ʻi he taimi ʻokú ne kumi ai ha ngāue. “Ko ha tokotaha ʻokú ne fakakaukau ʻo fuʻu tōtuʻa fekauʻaki mo ia tonu, ʻo ʻikai ke ne lāuʻilo ki heʻene ngaahi fakangatangatá, ʻoku ngalingali heʻikai ke ne lava ʻi ha fakaʻekeʻeke ki ha ngāue,” ko e tohi ia ʻa Dr. Leonard Sax. “Ka ko ha tokotaha kei siʻi ʻokú ne mahuʻingaʻia loto-moʻoni ʻi he meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tokotaha fakaʻekeʻeké ʻoku ngalingali ange te ne maʻu ʻa e ngāué.”a

FOUNGA KE AKOʻI AI ʻA E ANGA-FAKATŌKILALÓ

Fakaʻaiʻai ha vakai mafamafatatau kia kita.

TEFITOʻI MOʻONI FAKATOHITAPU: “Kapau ʻoku fakakaukau ha taha ʻokú ne mahuʻinga lolotonga ia ʻoku ʻikai te ne mahuʻinga, ʻokú ne kākaaʻi ai ʻa ia tonu.”​—Kalētia 6:3.

• Fakaʻehiʻehi mei hono leaʻaki ʻa e ngaahi kupuʻi lea fakatupu takihala. Ko e ngaahi lea hangē ko e “ʻE hoko moʻoni ʻa e kotoa hoʻo ngaahi misí” mo e “ʻE lava ke ke hoko ki ha meʻa pē ʻokú ke loto ki ai” ʻe ongo fakalotolahi nai, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke faʻa hoko moʻoni ia ʻi he moʻuí. Ko hoʻo fānaú ʻoku ngalingali te nau lavameʻa ange kapau ʻoku nau maʻu ʻa e ngaahi taumuʻa feʻungamālie mo kinautolu pea ngāue mālohi ke aʻusia ia.

• Fakamālōʻiaʻi ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga pau. Ko hono tala ange ki ha kiʻi tama ʻokú ne “tōtōatú” ʻoku ʻikai ke fakaʻaiʻai ai ʻa e anga-fakatōkilaló. Lave ki ha meʻa pau.

• Fakangatangata hono ngāueʻaki ʻe hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻa e mītia fakasōsialé. Ko e mītia fakasōsialé ʻokú ne faʻa pouaki pē kita​—ʻaki hono talaki ʻa e talēniti ʻo ha taha mo e ngaahi lavameʻá​—ko e fehangahangai ia ʻo e anga-fakatōkilaló.

• Fakalototoʻaʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke vave ke kole fakamolemole. Tokoniʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke ne ʻiloʻi ʻene fehālaakí pea fakahaaʻi ia.

Akoʻi ʻa e fakamālō.

TEFITOʻI MOʻONI FAKATOHITAPU: “Mou fai maʻu pē ʻa e fakamālō.”​—Kolose 3:15.

• Fakamālō ʻi he fakatupú. Ko e fānaú ʻoku totonu ke nau houngaʻia ʻi natula pea mo e lahi ʻo e fakafalala ai ʻetau moʻuí. ʻOku tau fiemaʻu ʻa e ʻeá ke mānava, vaí ke inu mo e meʻakaí ke tau kai. Ngāueʻaki ʻa e ngaahi fakatātā ko ení ke fakahūhū ʻa e houngaʻia, ʻapasia mo e fakamālō ki he fakaofo ʻa e māmaní.

• Fakamālō ki he ʻi ai ʻa e kakai takatakaí. Fakamanatu ki hoʻo kiʻi tamá ko e tokotaha kotoa ʻoku nau māʻolunga ange ʻiate ia ʻi ha founga pea ʻi he ʻikai ke meheka ʻi he ngaahi pōtoʻi mo e malava ʻa e niʻihi kehé, ʻe lava ke ne ako meiate kinautolu.

• Fakahāhā ʻa e fakamāloó. Akoʻi hoʻo fānaú ke nau lea “mālō,” ʻo ʻikai ʻi he leá pē kae fakataha mo e houngaʻia moʻoni. Ko ha laumālie fakamālō kuo ui ia ko ha fakavaʻe ʻo e anga-fakatōkilaló.

Akoʻi hoʻo fānaú ʻoku ʻaonga ʻa e ngāue maʻá e niʻihi kehé.

TEFITOʻI MOʻONI FAKATOHITAPU: “ʻAki ʻa e anga-fakatōkilalo ʻo mou vakai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻoku nau māʻolunga ange ʻiate kimoutolu, ʻoua ʻe kumi pē ki he lelei ʻa kimoutolú, kae kumi foki ki he lelei ʻa e niʻihi kehé.”​—Filipai 2:3, 4.

• Fakapapauʻi ke fai ʻe hoʻo fānaú ʻa e ngāue. Ko e ʻikai ke ʻoange ha ngāue ke fai ʻe hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻe ʻoange nai ai kiate ia ha fakakaukau, ‘ʻOkú ke fuʻu mahuʻinga koe ke fai eni!’ Ko e fatongia ʻi he fāmilí ʻoku totonu ke muʻomuʻa ia pea toki fika ua ʻa e vaʻingá. Fakamamafaʻi ki hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻa e ʻaonga ki he niʻihi kehé ʻa ʻene fai ʻa e ngāué pea ko ʻene fai peheé ʻe fakahoungaʻi mo fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai ia ʻe he niʻihi kehé.

• Fakamamafaʻi ange ko e ngāue maʻá e niʻihi kehé ko ha monū. Ko hono fai iá ko e founga tefito ia ke nau hoko ai ʻo matuʻotuʻa. Ko ia ai, fakalototoʻaʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke ne feinga ke ne ʻiloʻi ʻa e faʻahinga ʻoku fiemaʻu tokoní. Lāulea mo ia ki he meʻa ʻe lava ke ne fai ke tokoniʻi ai kinautolú. Fakaongoongoleleiʻi pea poupouʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻi heʻene ngāue maʻá e niʻihi kehé.