Bere A Basabasayɛ Si Wɔ Fie
“Onipa Basabasayɛ—sɛ́ ɛyɛ sotɔre anaasɛ obi a wosum no hwe fam, ɔsekamma a wɔde wɔ obi anaasɛ otuo tow—taa si wɔ abusua kɔntɔnkrɔn mu sen baabiara wɔ yɛn asetra mu.—Behind Closed Doors.
NANTEW Amerika borɔn biara so. Afie abien biara mu biako mu no, fie basabasayɛ bi besi anyɛ yiye koraa no pɛnkoro afe yi mu. Na afie anan biara mu biako mu de, ɛbɛkɔ so asisi mpɛn pii. Nanso sɛnea ɛte no, wɔn a wosuro mmɔnten so nantew anadwo wɔ asiane kɛse mu wɔ wɔn afie mu.
Nanso ɛnyɛ Amerika nkutoo na ofie basabasayɛ wɔ. Esi wɔ wiase nyinaa. Sɛ́ nhwɛso no, wɔ Denmark no, awudi abiɛsa biara mu abien si wɔ abusua no mu. Nhwehwɛmu a wɔayɛ wɔ Afrika kyerɛ sɛ awudi nyinaa mu ɔha biara mu nkyem 22 kosi 63 si wɔ abusua mu, egyina ɔman ko no so. Na wɔ Latin Amerika no, nnipa bebree, titiriw mmea, na mmarima a wɔde wɔn ahoɔden hoahoa wɔn ho bu wɔn animtiaa, hwe wɔn, anaa wokum wɔn.
Mmea bɛyɛ ɔha wu afe biara wɔ wɔn kununom anaasɛ mmarima a wɔne wɔn te nsam wɔ Canada. Wɔ United States a emu nnipa dodow bɛyɛ Canada de mmɔho du no, mmea bɛyɛ 4,000 na wɔn kununom anaa wɔn mpenafo a wɔyɛ basabasa kunkum wɔn afe biara. Afei, mmofra bɛyɛ 2,000 na wɔn awofo kunkum wɔn afe biara, na awofo a wɔn mma kunkum wɔn no dodow te saa ara.
Ɛno nti, wiase nyinaa no, okununom hwe ɔyerenom, ɔyerenom bɔ okununom pira wɔn, awofo hwe wɔn mma, mma tow hyɛ awofo so, na mmofra yɛ basabasa tia wɔn ho wɔn ho. Sɛnea nhoma, When Families Fight kyerɛ no: “Abufuw ne basabasayɛ a mpanyimfo hu wɔ wɔn asetra mu no mu dodow no ara fi abusua muni anaa wɔyɛ tia abusua muni, na abufuw no mu yɛ den yiye sen nea wohu wɔ abusuabɔ foforo biara mu.”
Abusua No Di Ako
Ahokafo a wɔyɛ wɔn basabasa: Mpɛn pii no, okununom bu aware ho adansedi krataa no sɛ hokwan a wɔwɔ sɛ wɔhwe wɔn yerenom. Bere a ɔyerenom tumi bɔ wɔn kununom pira wɔn no, opira no ntaa nyɛ kɛse te sɛ nea ɛba bere a mmarima hwe wɔn yerenom no. Parents nsɛmma nhoma bɔ amanneɛ sɛ: “Ahokafo a wɔhwe wɔn ntraso a wɔbɔ ho amanneɛ no mu bɛboro ɔha biara mu nkyem 95 yɛ ɔbarima a ɔhwe ɔbea.”
New York mmaranimfo bi ka sɛ: “Basabasayɛ a etia mmea abu so yiye wɔ Amerikafo mu. FBI abu akontaa sɛ . . . mmea bɛyɛ ɔpepem 6 na wɔhwe wɔn afe biara.” Bere a ɛsono dodow a esisi wɔ ɔman biara mu no, amanneɛbɔ ahorow kyerɛ sɛ mmea a mmarima hwe wɔn no abu so wɔ nsase pii so, sɛ ɛnyɛ dodow no ara so a.
Wobu akontaa sɛ wɔ United States no, “mmea 10 biara mu biako kunu bɛyɛ no basabasa ntraso (ɔbɛbɔ no, ɔde ne nan bɛbɔ no, ɔbɛka no anaasɛ ɔbɛyɛ no nea ɛsen saa) wɔ n’aware mu bere bi.” Nsɛmma nhoma, Family Relations ka sɛ, sɛ wɔde nea ɛnyɛ anibere pii ka ho a, “United States mmea baanu biara mu biako behyia fie basabasayɛ.”
Nokwarem no, New York mansin mmaranimfo bi ka sɛ wɔahu sɛ “ɔyerenom a wɔhwe wɔn no de ɔpira a ɛma wogye wɔn to ayaresabea ba kɛse sen nea mmonnaato, apoobɔ, ne kar akwanhyia ahorow de ba nyinaa a wɔaka abom.”
Ɔbenfo Lois G. Livezey ka sɛ: “Ɛda adi sɛ basabasayɛ a etia mmea ne basabasayɛ wɔ abusua mu abu so, ne sɛ wɔn a wɔde ba no . . . yɛ mpapahwekwa . . . Ɛyɛ ɔhaw a anibere wom wɔ nnipa akuw ne mmusua nyinaa mu.”
Ɛtɔ da bi a wɔn a wɔhwe wɔn no taa de asodi no to wɔn ho so, na ɛma wobu wɔn ho sɛ wɔba f am. Parents nsɛmma nhoma kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Ɔbea a onni ne ho mu ahotoso na obu ne ho sɛ ɔba fam no de ne ho to ɔhwe mu asiane mu. . . . Ɔbea a wɔtaa hwe no no suro sɛ ɔbɛyɛ nneɛma ho nhyehyɛe na wadi ho dwuma ma ɛho aba n’ankasa mfaso.”
Aware mu basabasayɛ wɔ mmofra so nkɛntɛnso bɔne nso. Wosua sɛ wobetumi de basabasayɛ adi afoforo so. Ɛnanom binom mpo bɔ amanneɛ sɛ wɔn mmofra de ahunahuna te sɛ, “Mɛma Papa ahwe wo,” di dwuma sɛnea ɛbɛma wɔanya nea wɔhwehwɛ.
Mmofra a wɔyɛ wɔn ayayade: Afe biara wɔhwe mmofra ɔpepem pii tra so sɛnea ebetumi apira wɔn yiye, adi wɔn dɛm, anaa akum wɔn mpo. Wobu akontaa sɛ, sɛ wɔbɔ ɔhwe biako biara ho amanneɛ a, emu 200 na wɔmmɔ ho amanneɛ. Nhoma Sociology of Marriage and the Family kyerɛ sɛ, “ofie taa yɛ beae a ɛyɛ hu sen biara sɛ mmofra bɛtra hɔ.”
Sukuupɔn kyerɛkyerɛfo John E. Bates ka sɛ ɔhwe yɛ fie nkɛntɛnso a ano yɛ den sen biara a ɛka sɛnea abofra bɛyɛ ade wɔ daakye asetra mu. Ɔbenfo Susan Forward ka sɛ: “Mahu sɛ asetra mu ade biara nni hɔ a ɛde nkurɔfo ho mu ahotoso to asiane mu anaa ɛde mpanyin mfe so nkate mu nsɛnnennen akɛse ba saa.” Wobetumi ahu ɔhaw bere mu basabasayɛ su ahorow wɔ mmofra a wɔadi fi mfe anan kosi mfe anum mpo mu. Bere a mmofra a wɔte saa nyin no, wɔn mu pii de wɔn ho hyɛ nnubɔne nom, asabow, ne nsɛmmɔnedi mu, wohyia adwenemhaw, wɔtɔ ape.
Ntease wom sɛ mmofra pii a wodi wɔn ani no bo fuw wɔn wofo a ɔhwe wɔn no, nanso wɔn bo taa fuw ɔwofo a ɔnhwe wɔn no nso, sɛ ɔhwɛ maa basabasayɛ no kɔɔ so. Wɔ abofra no adwenem no, wobetumi abu nea ɔhwɛ adeyɛ no na ɔnka ho hwee no sɛ fafafo.
Mpanyimfo a wɔyɛ wɔn ayayade: Wɔn a wɔn mfe akɔ anim wɔ Canada ɔha biara mu nkyem 15 na wobu wɔn ho akontaa sɛ wɔn mma a wɔanyinyin hwe wɔn na wɔyɛ wɔn ayayade adwene mu. Oduruyɛfo bi ka to hɔ sɛ “sɛe ara na tebea no betumi asɛe bere a nnipa bebree mfe kɔ anim, na wɔn mma sikasɛm ne nkate mu nsɛnnennen kɔ so yɛ kɛse no.” Wɔda osuro a ɛte sɛɛ adi wɔ wiase nyinaa.
Mpɛn pii no, mpanyimfo mmɔ ayayade a wɔyɛ wɔn no ho amanneɛ. Ebia nea ɔyɛ no ayayade no na ɔhwɛ no, ma enti ɔpaw sɛ ɔbɛkɔ so atra tebea a enye koraa no mu. Sɛ wobisa ɔbaa panyin bi bere a ɔbɛma aban nnipa akyere ne babarima ne n’ase a, mmuae a ɔtaa de ma ne sɛ: “Bere foforo.” Ná wɔahwe no araa ma wɔagye no ato ayaresabea ɔsram biako.
Anuanom a wɔyɛ wɔn ayayade: Eyi yɛ fie basabasayɛ a abu so yiye. Ebinom brɛ aniberesɛm a ɛwom no ase, ka sɛ, “Mmarima de saa ara.” Nanso, na anuanom a wɔyɛɛ wɔn ho nhwehwɛmu bi mu bɛboro fã na ayɛ nneɛma bi a sɛ ɛnyɛ abusua muni na wɔyɛ tiaa no a, anka wobetumi abu no aniberesɛm ma wɔakyere wɔn adi wɔn asɛm sɛ nsɛmmɔnedifo.
Nnipa pii te nka sɛ anuanom a wɔyɛ wɔn ayayade no ma wosua su a wɔde nyin. Ebetumi anya wɔn so nkɛntɛnso kɛse akyiri yi ma wɔayɛ basabasa wɔ wɔn aware mu, asen basabasayɛ a ɛkɔɔ so wɔ wɔn awofo ntam a wohui no mpo.
Akono a Ɛyɛ Hu
Mmaranim ho nhwehwɛmufo bi buu akontaa bere bi sɛ wɔfrɛɛ polisifo ma wobedii abusua mu akameakame ho dwuma mpɛn pii sen nsɛmmɔnedi afoforo nyinaa a wɔaka abom. Ɔsan kyerɛe sɛ wokum polisifo pii bere a wɔafrɛ wɔn ma wɔrekodi fie basabasayɛ ho dwuma, sen sɛ wɔafrɛ wɔn ma wɔrekodi biribi foforo biara ho dwuma. Polisini biako kae sɛ: “Sɛ ɛfa korɔnbɔ ho a, anyɛ yiye koraa no wusiesie wo ho. Nanso bɔ wura obi fie . . . Wunnim nea ɛbɛto wo.”
Bere a nhwehwɛmu kuw bi yɛɛ nhwehwɛmu a ɛkɔ akyiri wɔ fie basabasayɛ ho no, wɔde baa awiei sɛ, sɛ wɔde bere a asraafo redi ako to nkyɛn a, abusua no ne nnipa abusuabɔ a basabasayɛ wom sen biara a ɛwɔ hɔ.
Dɛn na ɛde abusua mu basabasayɛ ba? So ebegyae da bi? So ebetumi ayɛ nea ɛfata? Asɛm a edi hɔ no bɛhwehwɛ nsemmisa yi mu.
[Asɛm a wɔafa aka wɔ kratafa 4]
“Basabasayɛ a etia mmea abu so yiye wɔ Amerikafo mu.”—Ɔmantan mmaranimfo bi
[[Asɛm a wɔafa aka wɔ kratafa 5]
“Ofie taa yɛ beae a ɛyɛ hu sen biara sɛ mmofra bɛtra hɔ.”—Sociology of Marriage and the Family