Ayarefo a Wɔhwɛ Wɔn Ho Asɛnnennen

“ƐTƆ da bi a na mepɛ sɛ miguan tebea no. Nanso na ohia me sen bere biara. Ɛtɔ mmere bi a, na mete ankonamyɛ nka kɛse.”—Jeanny a ɔde asram 18 hwɛɛ ne kunu a na wadi mfe 29 yare ansa na biribi a ɛhon n’amemene mu kum no.a

“Ɛtɔ mmere bi a me bo fuw Maame, na me bo afuw m’ankasa me ho. Sɛ mintumi nnyina tebea no ano yiye a, mete nka sɛ nea madi nkogu.”—Rose a wadi mfe 59 a ɔhwɛɛ ne maame a na wadi mfe 90 a na wayɛ mmerɛw aka mpa mu no.

Sɛ ɔyare a emu yɛ den anaa ɔyare a enni sabea bɔ obi a, etumi ma n’abusuafo anaa ne nnamfo yɛ basaa. Jeanne Munn Bracken ka wɔ Children With Cancer mu sɛ: “Sɛ wohu yare no a, abusua biara te nka sɛ wɔn nkutoo na ebi ato wɔn. Ebia na wonnim obiara a ɔwɔ saa haw yi bi.” Mpɛn pii no, wɔyɛ “sisirii na wonnye nni,” sɛnea ɛtoo Elsa bere a ohui sɛ kokoram ayɛ ne yɔnko berɛbo Betty a wadi mfe 36 no. Sue a na ne papa yare no tee nka sɛ “wayɛ kagyaa” bere a awiei koraa ohui sɛ kokoram rekum ne papa no.

Ebia abusuafo ne nnamfo behu mpofirim ara sɛ wɔrehwɛ obi yare—wɔredi nea ɔyare no honam ne nkate fam ahiade ahorow ho dwuma. Ebia ɛsɛ sɛ wɔyɛ nnuan a ahoɔden wom, hwɛ ma no aduru, yɛ kar ho nhyehyɛe de no kɔ oduruyɛfo nkyɛn, gyigye ɔyarefo no ahɔho ani, kyerɛw nkrataa ma ɔyarefo no, ne nea ɛkeka ho pii. Mpɛn pii no, nhyehyɛe a adagyew nnim dedaw mu na wodi dwuma a ɛtete saa.

Nanso, bere a ɔyarefo no tebea mu yɛ den no, ayarehwɛ adwuma no bɛyɛ kɛse mpo. Ebi betumi ayɛ dɛn? Elsa ka fa n’adamfo Betty a waka mpa mu ho sɛ: “Biribiara! Misi ne nneɛma, ma no aduan, boa no bere a wafe, na mikohwie ne dwensɔ gu.” Ɛmfa ho sɛ na Kathy yɛ adwuma a wɔde bere nyinaa yɛ no, na ɛsɛ sɛ ɔhwɛ ne maame a ɔyare. Sue a yɛbɔɔ ne din ahyɛase no ka sɛ “na osusuw sɛnea [ne papa] ho adɔ afa, yɛ ho kyerɛwtohɔ simma aduasa biara, na sɛ ne ho reyɛ hyew a wapopa ne ho, na na ɔsesa ne ntade ne ne mpasotam nnɔnhwerew kakra biara mu.”

Sɛ́ ɔyarefo no benya ɔhwɛ a edi mũ no begyina sɛnea wɔn a wɔrehwɛ no no yiyedi te so kɛse. Nanso, mpɛn pii no nkurɔfo bu wɔn ani gu wɔn a wɔrehwɛ ɔyarefo no nkate ne wɔn ahiade ahorow so. Sɛ ɔyarefo a wɔrehwɛ no no ma wɔn akyi tutu wɔn na wɔbrɛ kɛkɛ mpo a, ɛno ara mpo nsua. Nanso, sɛnea ayarehwɛfo dodow no ara bɛfoa so no, ɔhwɛ no de nkate fam haw kɛse ba.

“Ná Ɛyɛ Aniwu Kɛse”

The Journals of Gerontology bɔ amanneɛ sɛ: “Nhwehwɛmu a wɔyɛ no taa ka ahohia a ɛba bere a [ɔyarefo] no yɛ nneɛma a ɛmfa kwan mu, ne nneyɛe a ɛhyɛ aniwu, na odidi atɛm no ho asɛm.” Sɛ nhwɛso no, Gillian ka nea esii bere a n’adamfo bi ka kyerɛɛ no wɔ Kristofo nhyiam bi ase sɛ ɔpɛ sɛ ohu ne maame a ne mfe akɔ anim no. Gillian de awerɛhow ka sɛ: “Maame yɛɛ budii a wanka asɛm biara. Ná ɛyɛ aniwu kɛse na ɛmaa m’ani taataa nsu.”

Joan a ne kunu adwene ayɛ basaa no ka sɛ: “Ɛyɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ den sen biara sɛ wubegyina ano no biako.” Ɔkyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Ɛmma ɔmfa ɔpɔw nyɛ n’ade. Sɛ yɛne afoforo pue kodidi a, ɛtɔ mmere bi a ɔkɔ apon foforo ho wɔ adidi dan no mu, kɔkeka jam a esisi so no hwɛ, na ɔsan de atere a ɔde kaa n’ano no to kankyee a jam no wom no mu. Sɛ yɛkɔsra afipamfo a, otumi tete ntasu gu turo kwan no so. Ɛyɛ den yiye sɛ meyi adwene a ɛne sɛ ɛbɛyɛ sɛ afoforo reka su horow yi ho asɛm ma ebia wɔka sɛ ɔmpɔwee koraa no afi me tirim. Ɛma metew me ho.”

“Ná Misuro Sɛ Sɛ Yɛyɛ Anibiannaso a . . .”

Ɔdɔfo bi a ne yare mu yɛ den a wɔhwɛ no no betumi ayɛ osuahu a ɛyɛ hu. Ebia ɔyarehwɛfo no besuro nea ɛbɛba bere a yare no akɔ soro no—ebia na osuro mpo sɛ ne dɔfo no bewu. Ebia obesuro nso sɛ ɔrennya ahoɔden anaa tumi a ɔde bedi ɔyarefo no ahiade ahorow ho dwuma.

Elsa ka nea enti a na osuro no ho asɛm sɛ: “Ná misuro sɛ anhwɛ a na mapira Betty, na menam so ama n’amanehunu no ayɛ kɛse, anaasɛ mɛyɛ biribi a ɛbɛtew ne nkwa so.”

Ɛtɔ da bi a, ɔyarefo no suro bɛyɛ nea ɔrehwɛ no no suro. Sue ka sɛ: “Ná me papa suro yiye sɛ ade bɛtram no, na na ɛtɔ da bi a ɔbɔ hu. Na misuro sɛ sɛ yɛyɛ anibiannaso a, ade bɛtram no ma ɛde osuro kɛse no aba.”

“Ebia Wubedi Sɛnea na Wɔte Kan no Ho Awerɛhow”

Caring for the Person With Dementia ka sɛ: “Awerɛhodi yɛ adeyɛ a asɛm biara nni ho ma nnipa a wɔrehwɛ ɔdɔfo bi a wanya yare a enni sabea. Sɛ ɔyarefo no yare yɛ kɛse a, ebia wobɛhwere n’adamfofa ne abusuabɔ a na ɛyɛ ade titiriw ma wo no. Ebia wubedi sɛnea na wɔte kan no ho awerɛhow.”

Jennifer ka sɛnea ne maame akwahosan a na ɛkɔ so sɛe no haw n’abusua ho asɛm sɛ: “Ná ɛhaw yɛn. Yɛn ani gyinaa ne nkɔmmɔbɔ a na ɛyɛ anigye no. Yedii awerɛhow yiye.” Gillian kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Ná mempɛ sɛ me maame wu, na na mempɛ sɛ ohu amane. Ná metaa su.”

“Metee Nka sɛ Wɔapo Me, Me Bo Fuwii”

Ebia obi a ɔrehwɛ ɔyarefo bi bebisa sɛ: ‘Dɛn nti na ɛsɛ sɛ eyi to me? Dɛn nti na afoforo mmoa? Wonhu sɛ mintumi nnyina ano yiye anaa? Ɔyarefo no ntumi ntew me brɛ no so kakra?’ Ɛtɔ da bi a, ebia nea ɔrehwɛ ɔyarefo no bo befuw yiye wɔ nea ɔyarefo no ne abusuafo foforo bɛhwehwɛ afi ne hɔ a ɛte sɛ nea ɛreyɛ kɛse na ɛtra so no ho. Rose a yɛbɔɔ ne din ahyɛase no ka sɛ: “Me bo taa fuw me ho—wɔ me tirim. Nanso Maame ka sɛ ɛda adi wɔ m’anim.”

Ebia ɔyarefo no ankasa de n’abasamtu ne n’abufuw bɛsoɛ nea ɔhwɛ no no so. Wɔ Living With Cancer nhoma no mu no, Oduruyɛfo Ernest Rosenbaum kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ ayarefo bi wɔ hɔ a, ɛtɔ mmere bi a, “wɔn bo tumi fuw na wonya adwenemhaw a ɛma wɔde wɔn anibere soɛ nea ɔbɛn wɔn no so. . . . Mpɛn pii no, nneɛma nketenkete a anka ɔyarefo no remmu ho akontaa mpo bere a ɔnyare no, na ɛma ɔda saa abufuw yi adi.” Ntease mu no, eyi betumi ahyɛ adɔfo a wɔreyɛ nea wobetumi nyinaa de ahwɛ ɔyarefo no abufuw kɛse.

Sɛ nhwɛso no, Maria yɛɛ adwuma a ɛfata nkamfo de hwɛɛ n’adamfo bi a na ɔrewu. Nanso ɛtɔ da bi a, na ɛte sɛ nea nsɛm haw n’adamfo no dodo ma onya adwene a ɛmfata. Maria kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Ná ɔka nsɛm a ɛwowɔ na na ne kasa nyɛ dɛ, na ɛmaa adɔfo yɛɛ basaa.” Eyi kaa Maria dɛn? “Saa bere no de, ɛte sɛ nea ‘wobɛte’ ɔyarefo no ‘ase.’ Nanso sɛ misusuw ho akyiri yi a, na mete nka sɛ wɔapo me, me bo afuw, na minhu nea menyɛ—na na mente nka sɛ ɛsɛ sɛ meda ɔdɔ a ehia no adi.”

Nhwehwɛmu bi a wotintimii wɔ The Journals of Gerontology mu kae sɛ: “Abufuw betumi ayɛ kɛse bere a obi rehwɛ obi yare no [na] ɛtɔ mmere bi a, ɛkowie basabasayɛ anaasɛ ɛho adwene a obi benya mu.” Nhwehwɛmufo no hui sɛ ɛkame ayɛ sɛ wɔn a wɔhwɛ ayarefo 5 biara mu 1 suroe sɛ ɔbɛyɛ basabasa bi. Na bɛboro 20 biara mu 1 yɛɛ ne yarefo basabasa ankasa.

“Mete Afobu Nka”

Ɛyɛ a ayarehwɛfo pii te afobu nka. Ɛtɔ da bi a, afobu no di abufuw akyi—kyerɛ sɛ, wɔte afobu nka esiane sɛ ɛtɔ mmere bi a, wɔn bo fuw nti. Nkate a ɛte saa no betumi ahaw wɔn araa ma wɔate nka sɛ wontumi nkɔ so nyɛ adwuma no bio.

Wɔ tebea horow bi mu no, biribiara nni hɔ a wobetumi ayɛ sɛ wɔbɛma wɔahwɛ ɔyarefo no wɔ ayarefo atrae anaa ayaresabea bi. Eyi betumi ayɛ gyinaesi a emu yɛ den a ebetumi ahaw nea ɔrehwɛ obi yare no kɛse. Jeanne ka sɛ: “Bere a awiei koraa no, tebea no hyɛɛ me ma mede Maame kɔtoo ofie a wɔhwɛ ayarefo wom mu no, metee nka sɛ mereyi no ama, merepo no.”

Sɛ́ wogye ɔyarefo no to ayaresabea anaa wonnye no nto hɔ no, ebia n’adɔfo bɛte afobu nka sɛ wɔnyɛ pii mma no. Elsa kae sɛ: “Ná mete afobu nka bere nyinaa sɛ minni bere koraa. Ɛtɔ da bi a, na m’adamfo no mpɛ sɛ mefi ne nkyɛn.” Nea ɔhwɛ ɔyarefo no betumi anya adwene no sɛ obu n’ani gu abusua mu asɛyɛde foforo so, titiriw sɛ odi bere pii wɔ ayaresabea anaasɛ ɛsɛ sɛ ɔde nnɔnhwerew pii yɛ adwuma de boa tua ɛka ahorow a ɛredɔɔso no a. Ɛna bi dii abooboo sɛ: “Ɛsɛ sɛ meyɛ adwuma de boa wɔ ɛka ahorow no mu, nanso mete afobu nka sɛ mintumi ntra fie nhwɛ me mma.”

Ɛda adi sɛ, wɔn a wɔhwɛ ayarefo hia mmoa denneennen, titiriw bere a nea wɔrehwɛ no no awu no. Oduruyɛfo Fredrick Sherman a ɔwɔ Huntington, New York, no ka sɛ: “M’asɛyɛde a ɛsen biara [bere a ɔyarefo bi awu] . . . ne sɛ mɛbrɛ afobu nkate a nea ɔhwɛ ɔyarefo no wɔ no ase, ade a mpɛn pii no, ɔnka ho asɛm.”

Sɛ saa nkate yi kɔ so a wɔnka ho asɛm a, ebetumi apira nea ɔrehwɛ ɔyarefo no ne ɔyarefo no nyinaa. Ɛnde, dɛn na wɔn a wɔde ɔhwɛ rema no betumi ayɛ agyina saa nkate yi ano? Na dɛn na afoforo—abusuafo ne nnamfo—betumi ayɛ de aboa wɔn?

[Ase hɔ asɛm]

[Kratafa 5 adaka]

Mmu W’ani Ngu Wɔn So!

MYRNA I. LEWIS, ɔbenfo abadiakyire a ɔwɔ asoɛe a ɛhwɛ ɔman aduruyɛ ho nsɛm so wɔ Mount Sinai Aduruyɛ Ho Sukuu, a ɛwɔ New York, no ka sɛ: “Yenim sɛ mmea na wɔhwɛ wɔn a wɔn mfe akɔ anim wɔ fie no mu ɔha biara mu 80.”

Nhwehwɛmu bi a wɔyɛe wɔ mmea a wɔhwɛ ayarefo mu, a wotintimii wɔ The Journals of Gerontologyb mu no daa no adi sɛ mmea ɔha biara mu 61 na wɔbɔɔ amanneɛ sɛ wonnya mmoa biara mfi abusuafo anaa nnamfo hɔ. Na bɛboro wɔn mu fã (ɔha biara mu 57.6) kae sɛ wɔannya nkate fam mmoa a ɛsɛ amfi wɔn kununom hɔ. Wɔ Children With Cancer mu no, Jeanne Munn Bracken da no adi sɛ bere a ebia ɔhwɛ a wɔde ma ho adesoa no fã kɛse no ara da ɛna no so no, “ebia agya no de n’adwene nyinaa besi n’adwuma so.”

Nanso, Ɔbenfo Lewis ka sɛ mmarima pii na wɔhwɛ ayarefo. Sɛ nhwɛso no, mmarima a wɔn yerenom anya Alzheimer yare no dɔɔso yiye. Na nokwarem no, wɔnnee wɔn ho wɔ adwennwen a adɔfo a wɔhwɛ wɔn yare de ba no ho. Lewis toa so sɛ: “Ebia saa mmarima yi na tebea no tumi wɔn kɛse paa efisɛ mpɛn pii no, ɛyɛ a na wɔanyinyin sen wɔn yerenom, na ebia na wɔn ankasa akwahosan nye. . . . Wɔntetee wɔn mu dodow no ara wɔ sɛnea wɔde ɔhwɛ a ɛfata ma mu.”

Ɛho hia sɛ mmusua hwɛ yiye wɔ su a ɛne sɛ wɔde adesoa no bɛto obusuani bi a ɛte sɛ nea ɔredi ɔhaw no ho dwuma yiye so. Care for the Carer nhoma no ka sɛ: “Mpɛn pii no, obusuani pɔtee bi na ɔbɛyɛ ɔhwɛfo, na ɛtɔ da bi a ɔyɛ saa ntoatoaso. Eyinom mu fã kɛse no ara yɛ mmea a wɔn ankasa mfe rekɔ anim dedaw. . . . Afei nso wɔtaa hu mmea sɛ wɔn na ‘ɛfata’ sɛ wɔhwɛ ayarefo . . . , nanso ɛnsɛ sɛ mmusua ne nnamfo bu no sɛ ɛnyɛ hwee.”

[Ase hɔ asɛm]

[Kratafa 6 mfonini]

Wɔn a wɔhwɛ ayarefo hia mmoa na wɔagyina afobu ne abufuw nkate ano