Ukunciphisa Uxanduva Oluziswa Kukufa

AMASIKO neendlela zokungcwaba zahluka gqitha ngokwamazwe ngamazwe nangokwezithethe. Imimiselo yasebuRhulumenteni isenokumisela iinkqubo ezithile ezimele zilandelwe. Noko ke, ngokuqhelekileyo oyena thunywashe uphambili ziinkolelo zonqulo zentsapho nezabantu basekuhlaleni. IThe New Encyclopædia Britannica ithi: “Uhlolisiso lweenkqubo namasiko angokufa lubonisa ngokuchukumisayo ukunxulumana kwenkolelo yonqulo noqheliselo oluthandwayo xa kukho ofileyo.”

Khawucinge ngomngcwabo wamaHindu eIndiya. Umzimba ulungiselelwa ukutshiswa ngokweenkqubo zelo hlelo. Kufefwa umgangatho ‘ngamanzi angcwele,’ akhiwe kuMlambo iGanges. Kuze ke kubekwe ishiti emhlophe kule ndawo, uze umzimba ubekwe phezu kwayo. Kutshiswa isiqhumiso esinevumba elimnandi ekukholelwa ukuba liya kuzisa imimoya ecocekileyo kuloo ndawo. Ubuso buqatywa ngomthombothi kunye nembola ebomvu. Umzimba uyahlanjwa ugqunywe ngelaphu elimhlophe kuze phezu kwalo kuphoswe iintyatyambo. Uze ke umzimba uthwalwe ngokhuko olwenziwe ngoqalo, intloko ijongiswe kwicala ekuyiwa ngakulo uze usiwe kwindawo enomlilo eselunxwemeni lomlambo (indawo ekutshiswa kuyo izidumbu). Apho ukhuko lumiswa ngenye indlela ukuze umzimba umiswe kakuhle iinyawo zibe ngaphambili, zijonge kwindawo enomlilo, ukubonisa ukuba ukhangele phambili kubomi obuzayo. Izinto zokutshisa isidumbu zilunyekwa ngunyana omkhulu, kuba kukholelwa kwelokuba kungale ndlela kuphela oya kuthi “umphefumlo” wofileyo ulale ngoxolo. Emva koko, uthuthu luyaqokelelwa luze lulahlwe komnye wemilambo “engcwele” yaseIndiya.

EPapua New Guinea, kungokwesiko ukuba izizalwana zisoloko zinxibelelana kakhulu nesidumbu, zisange, zisililela, zisithembise izinto ngezinto, yaye zicela ukuxolelwa ngenxa yezono ezizenze kumntu ofileyo. Kuzilwa ngokungqongqo, yaye iingoma zokuzila eziculwa apho zitsho kube lusizi ngakumbi. Kulisiko ukuba ubuncinane kubekho amatheko amakhulu amabini ngexesha elithile emva kokufa ukunik’ imbeko “umoya” womntu ofileyo nokuthintela nasiphi na isohlwayo osenokusizisa.

EAfrika, iindlela nezithethe zokungcwaba zigxininisa kwinkolelo yokungafi komphefumlo. Kukho uluvo lokuba kufuneka kungxengxezwe kubantu abafileyo, kungenjalo baya kuziqumbela baze bazithuthumbise izizalwana zabo. Kuchithwa imali eninzi kusenziwa namadini amaninzi ngethemba lokuba abafileyo baza kubathamsamqelisa abaphilayo. Abaninzi bakholelwa ekuzalweni ngokutsha, kukuba umntu ofileyo uza kubuya mhlawumbi esisilwanyana esimele sinqulwe okanye elilungu lentsapho eliza kuzalwa libhinqa elikhulelweyo ngelo xesha. Ingxelo evela eNigeria ithi: “Ngaloo ndlela, kwenziwa inyameko ekhethekileyo ngoxa kunxityiswa isidumbu ukuqinisekisa ukuba yonke into ime kakuhle. Ngokomzekelo, kukholelwa kwelokuba ukuba isandla somntu ofileyo asihlalanga kakuhle ebhokisini, kuya kubonakala ngokuzalwa komntwana onesiphene xa loo mntu ezalwa ngokutsha. Okanye umntu ofileyo onganxibanga ngokufanelekileyo uya kuzalwa ngokutsha njengomntu ophambeneyo.” Ngokufuthi ukoyika abantu abafileyo nolawulo ekuthelekelelwa ukuba banalo kwabo baphilayo zizinto ezinegalelo kwindlela eqhutywa ngayo imingcwabo yaseAfrika.

Kwimimandla emininzi esemaphandleni eGrisi, kwakhona kuqhutywa iinkonzo ezithabatha ixesha elide kusenziwa nobugocigoci obungaphele ndawo emva kokufa. Iphephancwadi iScience lithi: “Ebudeni beminyaka emihlanu elandelayo, izizalwana zomntu ofileyo ezingamabhinqa zilungiselela zize zilawule iinkonzo ezininzi zesikhumbuzo. Kubafazi, koomama nakwiintombi, ukuzila kuba yindima ephambili. Baya kutyelela ingcwaba busuku ngabunye ukuze bakhanyise amakhandlela, bacoce ilitye lesikhumbuzo elibekwe engcwabeni, bathethe nofileyo, bacule iingoma zokuzila baze balile. Bakholelwa kwelokuba ukwenza ngokuzeleyo la masiko kuya kunceda umphefumlo wothandekayo ungene ezulwini.” Ekugqibeleni, amathambo omntu ofileyo ayembiwa aze abekwe kwindawo yokungcwaba yalapho elalini.

Uninzi lwemingcwabo eJapan luvisisana neenkqubo zobuBhuda. Emva kokuba umzimba uhlanjiwe waza wanxityiswa, uthandelwa ngeshiti emhlophe, kubekwe imela esifubeni ukuze kugxothwe imimoya engcolileyo. Njengokuba kuvutha amakhandlela nesiqhumiso, umfundisi uya kucengceleza iisutra (izicatshulwa ezisekelwe kuncwadi lwesithethe lwamaBhuda) ecaleni komandlalo aze athiye umntu ofileyo igama lobuBhuda ekuthi ngalo, kuxhomekeka kwinani loonobumba abasetyenzisiweyo, kuhlawulwe imali eninzi. Wandula ke umzimba ubekwe ebhokisini yokungcwaba eyenziwe ngomthi nengapeyintwanga. Kulindwa ubusuku bonke okanye isiqingatha sobusuku kuzilelwe umntu ofileyo yaye kuthandazelwa ukuba umphefumlo uphumle. Njengokuba umfundisi ecengceleza iisutra, abazili baya kubolekisana ngokutshisa intwana encinane yesiqhumiso. Kwenziwa inkqubo efanayo ngosuku olulandelayo ebudeni benkonzo yomngcwabo phambi kwesibingelelo ekubekwe phezu kwaso ibhokisi, umfanekiso womntu ofileyo, nezinye izixhobo zenkqubo yonqulo lwamaBhuda. Kuze kutshiswe isidumbu njengoko umthetho uyalela. Kangangexesha elithile kamva, isiqhumiso siya kutshiswa ngamathuba athile yaye umfundisi uya kucengceleza iisutra de baqikelele ukuba umphefumlo awusenampembelelo kwimicimbi yabantu yaye uye wadibana nomphefumlo wezinyanya zemvelo.

Yazise Iminqweno Yakho

Kunokunciphisa ubunzima obubangelwa kukufa kothandekayo, ngokufuthi iindlela zokungcwaba ezinjengezi zongeza uxanduva olukhulu ngakumbi. Olunye uxanduva ziindleko. Imingcwabo enobucukubhede obuninzi iziindleko. Ngokuqhelekileyo abefundisi bafuna iminikelo okanye intlawulo enkulu ngeenkonzo zabo. Kwakhona amatheko amakhulu neenkonzo zesikhumbuzo zibiza gqitha. Kusenokubakho kwanengcinezelo yokuba kwaphulwe iminqweno yomntu ofileyo okanye kubandakanyekwe kwiinkqubo awayengazikholelwa. Intsapho okanye abahlobo banokukhalaza kakhulu ngelithi umntu ofileyo akayi kungcwatywa ngendlela efanelekileyo nendilisekileyo ngokwemilinganiselo yasekuhlaleni. Ukuba unayo nayiphi na iminqweno ngendlela ofuna kuqhutywe ngayo kumngcwabo wakho, uya kuba ulumkile ukuba uyibhala phantsi uze ufumane abantu abaza kutyobela olo xwebhu njengamangqina.

Omnye umfazi waseJapan wafunda esi sifundo xa uyise oneminyaka engama-85 ubudala wafayo. Wayecele ukuba kuze kwenziwe inkonzo yesikhumbuzo encinane ekukho kuyo amalungu entsapho kuphela. Noko ke, le nto yabangela ukuba abo bathanda izibhadlalala zemingcwabo bathethe bophele bewucukuceza. Emva koko, intombi yakhe yabhalela kwiphephandaba laseTokyo iAsahi Shimbun isithi: “Ukuba ubani ufuna umngcwabo owahlukileyo kweminye, enoba oko kusenokubonakala kusengqiqweni kangakanani kubani, kulunge ngakumbi ukuxubusha ngako nentsapho kabani kwincoko yemihla ngemihla yaye bavumelane ngale mbono. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba ubani ayibhale phantsi iminqweno yakhe ukuze amalungu entsapho afelweyo akwazi ukuziphendulela xa egxekwa.”

Kubaluleke nangakumbi ukwenjenjalo xa uneenkolelo zonqulo ezinamandla ezingqubanayo noqheliselo lwasekuhlaleni. Ngokomzekelo, eJapan umKristu usenokoyika ukuba ukuba unokufa, izalamane zakhe ezingengomaKristu zinokuqubuda ngentlonelo yokuqala phambi kwebhokisi yokungcwaba okanye kumfanekiso wakhe ngexesha lomngcwabo njengokuba zinokuqubuda phambi kwesibingelelo samaBhuda. Ngoko unokubalula kwangaphambili kwimiyalelo yakhe ebhaliweyo ukuba emva kokuba abantu bethe ndlela-ntle kuye ekhaya, umzimba wakhe ufanele utshiswe kuze emva koko kuqhutywe inkonzo yesikhumbuzo encinane apho kungekho bhokisi okanye umfanekiso wakhe. Ukuze kuphetshwe iingxaki, izizalwana zinokwaziswa ngenkqubo kwangaphambili.

Ukuqhubana Nabo Barhweba Ngokufa

Ukuza kuthi ga kwiminyaka emalunga nekhulu eyadlulayo, inkoliso yabantu yayifela emakhaya, ingqongwe ngabahlobo nentsapho. Abantwana babengakhutshelwanga ecaleni ekunyamekeleni abaselukhukweni lokufa yaye bafunda ngokufa ngale ndlela. Kodwa konke oku kuye kwaguquka kumazwe ehlabathi ahambele phambili kwezoshishino. Abantu abaninzi abagulel’ ukufa babalekiselwa ezibhedlele, yaye kwenziwa imigudu yokwandisa ubomi babo. IThe New Encyclopædia Britannica ithi: “Kunokuba bakuqonde njengento yokwemvelo ukufa, oogqirha banamhlanje baye bakubona njengento embi okanye engaqhelekanga, njengokoyisakala kwayo yonke imizamo yabo engokonyango, maxa wambi njengokoyisakala kobuqu. Isifo sinyangwa ngazo zonke izixhobo ezikhoyo, ngokufuthi engacingelwa ngokwaneleyo umntu ogulayo​—⁠maxa wambi kungacingwa nokuba ‘umntu’ usekho kwaukubakho.”

Umngcwabo oqhelekileyo eUnited States ngoku ubiza ngaphezu kwama-R8 250​—⁠yaye oko akuquki indawo yokungcwaba. Utyekelo xa kuthethwa nomngcwabi onovelwano lukukulibala ukuba ukwishishini lokwenza imali. Iphephancwadi iChanging Times lithi: “Umoya wokufuna ingeniso ubalasela gqitha kwishishini lamalungiselelo okugqibela. Yaye njengakuyo nayiphi na inkqubo yezorhwebo, umthengi usengozini yokucinezelelwa ukuba achithe imali, axakekiswe, ahlawuliswe kakhulu okanye aqhathwe ngumthengisi ongenamigaqo yokuziphatha. Enyanisweni, ingozi inkulu gqitha ngenxa yokuba inkoliso yabantu ithenga okwesihlandlo sokuqala, ifelwe ngumntu othandekayo yaye imele yenze izinto ngokukhawuleza.”

Noko ke, kukho ezinye iindlela onokuzikhetha. Enye kukuzibekela imali yomngcwabo wakho. Oko kunokwenziwa ngokulondoloza imali ngokukhethekileyo ebhankini ukuze xa ufile inikwe umntu omkhethileyo. Ngokwemithetho yaseUnited States yokulondoloza imali, imali elondolozwe ngolo hlobo (ebizwa ngokuba yiTotten trust) inokukhutshwa ngumntu okhethe ukuba ayifumane ngokubonisa isazisi nobungqina bokuba umntu obelondoloze imali ufile. Kwangaxeshanye, nguwe olawula ukusebenza kwemali. Enye indlela kukuba neinshorensi yobomi kwinkampani ezinzileyo nenodumo oluhle. Ukuba utshatile, qiniseka ukuba iqabane lakho linolwazi, ngokukodwa ngokuphathelele imicimbi engemali. Nokwenza umyolelo kuluncedo gqitha. Akunakufane kwenzeke ukuba nife nobabini ngexesha elinye. Kwiimeko eziliqela abafazi bafa mva kunamadoda abo. Ngokufuthi abafazi bafumanisa ukuba abazazi ezi zinto, nto leyo eyongezelela ekukhathazekeni nasentlungwini yabo. Njengokuba ukufa kusenokufika ngokungalindelekanga, musa ukukubekela amangomso ukuxubusha ngale micimbi nentsapho yakho.

Ukunyamezela Intlungu

Umntu onyamezele ukufelwa ngothandekayo uye wabuhlungu gqitha. Ukulila nokukhathazeka kuya kuhlala kukho de kwamkelwe ukufelwa. Ubude benkqubo yokuba buhlungu buyahluka ngokwabantu ngabantu. Bambi basenokukhawuleza bayeke ukuba buhlungu ngokufelwa kwabo, ngoxa abanye besenokuthabatha unyaka okanye ngakumbi. Abambalwa abaze bayeke ukuba buhlungu. Ubani unokufunda njani ukujamelana nako?

Kubalulekile ukuba ungazahluli uze uzikhethe kwibutho labantu. Ukubuyela kwimisebenzi yobomi yemihla ngemihla nokuhlala unxibelelene nabahlobo nezalamane ngomnxeba okanye ngokutyelela kubalulekile ekuchacheni kwintlungu. Nangona kukho amaxesha apho ufuna ukuba wedwa, oko akufanele kube ngumkhwa. Nceda abantu banxibelelane nawe baze bakuncede ngokuthi wenjenjalo nawe kubo.

Indoda eyeva intlungu yokufelwa zizalamane ezisondeleyo ezihlanu kwithuba nje leminyaka emithathu, kuquka unina nomfazi wayo othandekayo owayeneminyaka engama-41, owalwa nomhlaza ixesha elide, yanikela icebiso elihle. Yagqabaza yathi: “Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiye ndaba buhlungu. Maxa wambi ndandilila. Kodwa ufanele ubujonge ububi njengoko bunjalo. Umele ubamkele ubomi njengoko bunjalo, kungekhona ngendlela obungathanda ukuba bube yiyo. Ufanele uziqhelanise nobu bunzima uze ukwamkele ukufelwa, kunokuba ube buhlungu ngokungapheliyo.”

Kubalulekile ukuxhasa nokukhuthaza abo basentlungwini. Ngelishwa, uninzi lwethu luziva lungakufanelekelanga ukwenjenjalo yaye luma nematha lungayazi into emaluyithethe. Sisenokuziva sineentloni ukuba thina okanye lowo ufelweyo uqalisa ukulila. Ngoko ke sityekele ekukuphepheni ukudibana nalowo usentlungwini​—⁠xa kanye yena esifuna gqitha. Bambi bade babekw’ ityala ngokuwela isitrato baze bahambe kwelinye icala kuba befuna nje ukuphepha ukuthetha nothile ofelweyo! Omnye umhlolokazi wathi: “Ndashiywa ndedwa ukuba ndibe sentlungwini. Ndandikufuna gqitha ukuthetha kodwa kwakungekho bani wayenokuphulaphula.”

Ngokufuthi abanye abakhawuleza bangenelele baze baxhase ngexesha lokufelwa bayeka ngokukhawuleza ukunceda. Unjingalwazi wenzululwazi ngengqondo uPatricia Minnes uthi: “Emva kokufelwa, maxa wambi kuthabatha iiveki okanye iinyanga ngaphambi kokuba umntu ofelweyo akwazi ukoyisa umothuko wasekuqaleni. Kungelo xesha ke apho inkxaso ibaluleke gqitha yaye ifumaneka kancinane.” Yaye kuyimpazamo ukugqiba ngelithi abo bangabonisi ukubandezeleka kakhulu abanabuntu yaye abanaluthando, abakwamkeli ukufelwa, okanye sebeyekile ukuba buhlungu. Bambi basenokuba bomelele ngakumbi baze bakwazi ukuyinyamezela intlungu yabo, kodwa nabo bafuna ukuthuthuzelwa nokuxhaswa.

Ngoko, hayi indlela okukuhle ngayo xa abahlobo bengenelela baze bancedise ofelweyo ukunyamekela imicimbi nokulungisa iincwadi ezifunekayo! Hayi indlela okomeleza ngayo ukuxhaswa ngumntu owomeleleyo noqondayo xa kusenziwa amalungiselelo omngcwabo! Hayi indlela okuxatyiswa ngayo xa umntu othile encedisa ngabantwana aze anyamekele iimfuno zezalamane nezezihlobo ezityeleleyo! Hayi indlela ekubonisa ulwazelelelo ngayo xa abahlobo nabamelwane besizisa ukutya umhla nezolo baze bazinikele ukwenza imisebenzi yekhaya okanye base abo basentlungwini kwiindawo abafuna ukuya kuzo! Hayi indlela ekuvuyisa ngayo ukuba abasentlungwini babe nomntu abaza kuxubusha naye ngeemvakalelo zabo! Hayi indlela ekuthuthuzela ngayo ukuva amazwi entuthuzelo uze ugonwe ngumntu othile! Hayi indlela ekulunge ngayo, nokuba ziinyanga kamva, xa kubuzwa ngendlela abantu abasentlungwini abaphila ngayo kuze kuthethwe amazwi othando!

Kodwa eyona nto iluncedo kakhulu kukuba nethemba ngekamva. Ngaba likho ithemba elinjalo?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 23]

“Umele ubamkele ubomi njengoko bunjalo, kungekhona ngendlela obungathanda ukuba bube yiyo”

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Siza Kubaxelela Ntoni Abantwana?

Baxelele inyaniso, ngokomlinganiselo wokuqonda kwabo. Thetha ngokufa njengoko kunjalo, uze uwaphephe amabinzana anentsingiselo engacacanga. Ukuba uthi, “UTatomkhulu uhambile” okanye, “Silahlekelwe nguTatomkhulu,” umntwana usenokulindela ukuba uTatomkhulu abuye okanye “afunyanwe.” Mncede umntwana aqonde into okuyiyo ukufa, uze uphendule imibuzo ngokweZibhalo. Umntwana unokwaziswa ngokufa ngemvelo. Unokucacisa ngokufa kwezilwanyana, kweentaka, okanye kwezinambuzane. Yiba nomonde, uze ulungise iingcinga eziphosakeleyo asenokuba umntwana uzifumene kwimifanekiso eshukumayo okanye kumabonwakude. Ukubafihlela ngokupheleleyo abantwana ngokufa kusenokuvelisa umsindo okanye uloyiko lwento engaziwayo.

Umntwana omncinane usenokuziva enetyala ngokufa, ngokukodwa ukuba wayemqumbele lowo ufileyo. Mncede umntwana aqonde ukuba asiyomposiso yakhe, ukuze kuphetshwe iimvakalelo zokuba netyala.

Ukoyika ukulahlwa yinto ekho ngokwenene kubantwana abafelwe ngumzali. Bathobe izibilini kangangoko kunokwenzeka, yaye ubazise ukuba baza kuthandwa yaye banyanyekelwe. Kwakhona umntwana usenokuziva enomsindo. Ukuba uxelelwe ukuba nguThixo othabathe umzali wakhe, usenokumthiya uThixo. Ukwazi inyaniso yeBhayibhile kuyanceda kule micimbi. Menze umntwana azive enentembelo, yaye umthande uze umxhase.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Baxhase uze ubakhuthaze abasentlungwini