Ndandiyingonyama Egqumayo Kodwa Ngoku Ndiyimvana Elulamileyo
NGOKUBALISWA NGUENRIQUE TORRES, OMNCI.
NDAZALWA ngowe-1941 kwisiqithi saseCaribbea ePuerto Rico, apho kuthethwa kakhulu iSpanish. Abazali bam abangamahlwempu babengamaRoma Katolika, kodwa akukho namnye kubo, okanye koodade wethu nomntakwethu (owasweleka esengumntwana) okanye mna owakha wafundiswa ngonqulo ibe sasingafane siye ecaweni.
Intsapho yakowethu yafuduka ePuerto Rico isiya eUnited States ngowe-1949. Sahlala kwiSixeko saseNew York, esiseMpuma Harlem, ekuthiwa yiEl Barrio. Sahlala apho de kwangowe-1953. Kwakunzima kum ukufunda ukuthetha ulwimi lwesiNgesi. Loo nto yandenza ndazibona ndisisidenge.
Impembelelo Embi
Emva koko intsapho yakowethu yafudukela kummandla oyiProspect Heights eBrooklyn. Ngelo xesha ndaphenjelelwa ngoontanga bam ukuba ndibe kwiqela lemigulukudu yasesitratweni. Kamva ndaba ngumphathi walo. Emva koko ndaba yinkokeli yelinye iqela, elalisiba iinqwelo-mafutha. Ndandithunywa (ndiqokelela iimali zokungcakaza ezibiweyo) kwimizi yokungcakaza ekufutshane. Ukusuka apho, ndaqalisa ukuqhekeza ibe ndabanjwa izihlandlo eziliqela ngaphambi kokuba ndibe neminyaka eli-15 ubudala. Ngelo xesha ndandisele ndiyeke neso sikolo.
Xa ndandineminyaka eli-16, amagunya andithumela ePuerto Rico kangangeminyaka emihlanu njengenye yeendlela zokuthoba isigwebo. Ndathunyelwa kutatomkhulu wam nosapho lwakhe. Wayelipolisa elidumileyo nelihlonelwayo elalisele lisidla umhlala-phantsi. Noko ke, emva konyaka utatomkhulu wandibuyisela eBrooklyn ngenxa yokubandakanyeka kwimilo yotywala, ndinxulumana nabantu abangengomzekelo mhle, ndiqhekeza nokuqhekeza.
Igalelo Awaba Nalo Utata Ebomini Bam
Ndathi ukubuyela kwam kwiSixeko saseNew York ndivela ePuerto Rico, ndafika utata eqalise ukufundisisa iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Noko ke, mna ndandiphila ngendlela eyahluke lee kuleyo. Ndaqhubeka ndiphila ngendlela engamkholisiyo uThixo ibe ndandizisebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi, ndinxila ndibuthwa phantsi. Ndaba lilungu leqela elaliqhekeza lize likhuthuze lixhobile, ndabanjelwa loo nto ngowe-1960. Ndabanjwa ndaza ndathiwa nkaa ngeminyaka emithathu eziseleni.
Ngowe-1963, ndakhululwa phantsi kwemiqathango. Kodwa akuzange kube kudala ndaphinda ndabanjelwa ukuqhekeza yaye ndajija iminyaka emibini kwintolongo ekwiSiqithi iRikers kwiSixeko saseNew York. Ndakhululwa ngowe-1965. Ndaphinda kwangaloo nyaka ndabanjelwa ukubulala. Ndandingasengomntu ngaphandle kokuba ndandiyingonyama eneengcwangu!
Inkundla yandithi nkaa ngeminyaka engama-20, ndisebenza eDannemora, kumntla New York. Apho ke ndandiphila ubomi bentolongo nyhani.
Noko ke, njengoko besenditshilo, utata wayefundisisa iZibhalo namaNgqina kaYehova. Wada wabhaptizwa waza wakhonza njengomdala kwibandla laseHarlem. Wayedla ngokundityelela xa ndisentolongweni, ibe wayedla ngokundixelela ngoThixo, igama Lakhe, nenjongo Yakhe.
Noko ke, xa ndandisentolongweni eDannemora, ndaba ngomnye weqela lamaqothaqikili, awayebolekisa ngemali enenzala engaphaya kwengqondo. Ebudeni beli xesha, ngowe-1971, kwavuka uqhushululu kwenye intolongo yeSixeko saseNew York, kwiKhaya Loluleko iAttica. Olu qhushululu lwaluyinto ephambili kumaphephandaba ibe kwakuthethwa ngalo koonomathotholo nakoomabonwakude ehlabathini lonke. Ngelokunqanda ukuba kungenzeki into efanayo eDannemora, kwathi emva kolo qhushululu, umgcini-mabanjwa wakhetha amabanjwa anokuba yityhefu kwamanye. La ke wawavalela kwizindlu ezikhethekileyo.
Kumabanjwa angama-2 200, wathabatha abamalunga nama-200 kuthi wabavalela bodwa. Sahlolwa kwaza kwakhethwa abanye ababethwa kanobom. Ngaphezu koko, kwakugalelwa amayeza ekutyeni, ngelokuzama ukusinika “unyango lokulungisa isimilo.”
Ndandingaqali ke ukuvalelwa ndedwa ngenxa yobukrwada. Noko ke, ndandiqala ukukhohlakalelwa ngolo hlobo, ibe loo nto yaba nento eyenzayo kum. Ndakhonkxwa izandla, iinyawo zaqanyangelwa, ibe ndandibethisiswa kanobom ngabalindi. Kwakhona kwafuneka ndinyamezele ukuhlalel’ ukuthukwa ngenxa yohlanga endilulo. Kuba ndandihlazwa yaye ndibethwa, ndagwayimbela ukutya, ndisithi caphu caphu nje, ngalo lonke ixesha lokuvalelwa ndedwa, kwisithuba esimalunga neenyanga ezintathu. Loo nto yabangela ukuba ndilahlekelwe ziikhilogram ezingama-23 kubunzima bam.
Utata wayisabelisisa into yokungabi segazini kwam, kodwa loo nto ayizange ihoywe ngamagosa entolongo. Ndaphelelwa lithemba kangangokuba ndabhenela ekubhaleleni abezobupolitika ukuba bandincedise ekulweni le mpatho-mbi.
Utata wanyuka esihla exelela amaphephandaba ngoku kubethwa, ukuhlazwa nokufakwa kwamayeza ekutyeni kwamabanjwa avalelwe odwa kwizindlu ezikhethekileyo. YiAmsterdam News kuphela iphephandaba elasabelayo ngokubhala inqaku ngale meko imandundu. Ngamaxesha athile, utata wayesiya nakuMkhomishinala Weenkonzo Zoluleko eAlbany, eNew York, ibe wayedla ngokuxelelwa ukuba ndikwisisele esiqhelekileyo. Ukuchaza kwam iimeko zasentolongweni kwabezobupolitika akuzange kuhoywe. Aphela tu amathemba, kuba ndandibona ukuba akukho apho ndinokuphinda ndiye khona ukuze ndincedakale.
Ngelo xesha ndakhumbula ezinye zezinto endandizixelelwe ngutata. Ndabhenela kwelokuba ndithandaze, ndicele uThixo andincede.
Ukubhenela KuThixo
Kanye ngaphambi kokuba ndithandaze, ndakhumbula indlela utata awayendikhuthaza ngayo ngokuzingisileyo ukuba ndingathandazi kuYesu kodwa ndithandaze kuYise kaYesu, ogama linguYehova. Ndaguqa phantsi apho entolongweni ndaza ndavakalisa ukuzisola gqitha ngekhondo lobomi endilikhethileyo, nelabangela ukuba ndichithe ngaphezu kwesiqingatha sobomi bam entolongweni. Ndambongoza ngokunyanisekileyo uYehova ukuba andikhuphe kule meko kuba ndandisele ndiyiqonda into yokuba nguye kuphela onokundikhupha kule nyula.
Andisakhumbuli ukuba ndathandaza ixesha elingakanani, kodwa ndazichaza zonke izinto endandizenza ngaphambili ibe kuba ndiguqukile ndacela uYehova andixolele. Ndathembisa ukuba ndiza ukufunda izinto ezingakumbi ngaye. Akuzange kube kudala emva koko, ndakhululwa kumhadi wentolongo endandivalelwe ndedwa kuwo ndasiwa kwintolongo eqhelekileyo. Ndaba ke ndiyayeka ukugwayimbela ukutya.
Ndenza ngokuvisisana nesithembiso sam sokufunda izinto ezingakumbi ngoYehova ngokuqalisa ukufunda iNew World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. Enye yezinto ezanditsalayo kule nguqulelo yeBhayibhile liqweqwe layo eliluhlaza. Lo mbala waba nomtsalane kum kuba iimpahla zasentolongweni, izisele, iindonga neepaseji zonke zazinombala ongwevu, umbal’ apha odikayo. Into eyaba ngumnqa kum kukuba, kamva yonke imibala yezi zinto yatshintshwa yaluhlaza okwehlathi. Lo mbala wakhethwa liSebe Leenkonzo Zoluleko emva kwemvukelo eyavuka kwintolongo iAttica.
Kwakhona ndaqalisa ukufunda amanqaku eMboniselo noVukani!, maphephancwadi lawo utata wayelungiselele ukuba ndiwathunyelelwe. Ukufunda amava amaNgqina kaYehova amaninzi awavalelwa entolongweni ngenxa yokubambelela ngokuqinileyo kukholo lwawo nawathi atyhubela kwiinkathazo ezininzi kunokuba ndenzayo kwandihlaba gqitha. Ndacinga nje ukuba aba bantu abazange baphule mthetho kodwa baphathwa kakubi ngokungekho sikweni ngenxa yokuthembeka kuThixo. Kwelinye icala, mna ndandifanele ukuba ndiphathwe kakubi. Emva kokufunda la mava, kwaba ngathi kukho into ekrwela entliziyweni ibe loo nto yandithuma ukuba ndifunde izinto ezingakumbi ngoYehova nabantu bakhe.
Emva konyaka ndada ndaya kwibhodi ejongene nokukhululwa kwamabanjwa phantsi kwemiqathango. Ityala lam laphinda lahlolwa, kwahlolwa nentlungu endandiphantsi kwayo ngoxa ndivalelwe kwindawo ekhethekileyo. Ndavuya gqitha ndakuva ukuba ndandiza kukhululwa phantsi kwemiqathango ngowe-1972.
Kwiiveki ezimbini emva kokuba ndikhululwe, ndaya kwiHolo yoBukumkani yamaNgqina kaYehova yalapho eSpanish Harlem. Kodwa yayikho indawo yokuziva ndingakufanelekeli ukuba kunye nabantu bakaYehova. Ibe yayiseninzi into ekufuneka ndiyifundile ngoYehova, intlangano yakhe nabantu bakhe. Ibe ndandiseza kuthabath’ ixesha ukuze ndiqhelane nabantu emva kwexesha elide endandilichithe entolongweni.
Ngelishwa, yayingekaphumi laa ndlela ndandiphila ngayo ngaphambili. Ndaphinda ndabuyela ekusebenziseni iziyobisi, kulwaphulo-mthetho nasekuphileni ngendlela engakholisi Thixo. Ndagqibela ngokuphinda ndithiwe nkaa ngesigwebo seminyaka eli-15 ndijija entolongweni. Kodwa, ndicinga ukuba ikho le ntwana yokulunga uYehova wayeyibona entliziyweni yam, kuba akazange andiyekele. Mandithi enoba usentolongweni okanye akunjalo, uYehova akaze abalahle abo bafuna ukufunda ngaye.
Ndafunda IBhayibhile Ngoxa Ndandisentolongweni
Ngoko xa ndandiphinde ndabuyela kwintolongo yaseDannemora, ndaxhakamfula ilungiselelo elalikho lesifundo seBhayibhile seeveki ngeveki nomnye umlungiseleli wamaNgqina kaYehova. Emva koko, ndathunyelwa kwiZiko Loluleko laseMid-Orange, eliyintolongo nje yabantu abagwetywe ixesha elifutshane kumantla eNew York. Apho kwakukho isiqabu kungafani nakwintolongo yabantu abanezigwebo ezikhulu eDannemora.
Emva kweminyaka emibini ndikweli Ziko Loluleko laseMid-Orange, ndaba nenxaxheba ngokuzimisela kwisifundo seBhayibhile esasiqhutyelwa elinye ibanjwa endandihlala nalo, sifundo eso esasivunyelwe ngabaphathi bentolongo. Esi sifundo lalisilungiselelwe ngunina, owayengomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova. Njengoko ndandiqhubeka ndingenisa ulwazi, ndada ndaqalisa ukusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile, eyandincedayo ekugqibeleni ndenza inkqubela ngokomoya.
Emva kokuba kungazange kuvunywe ukuba ndikhululwe phantsi kwemiqathango kangangezihlandlo ezisixhenxe, kwisihlandlo sesibhozo bada bandikhulula phantsi kwemiqathango nangona babekrikriza. Kwathiwa isizathu sokuba kungavunywa ndikhululeke phantsi kwemiqathango sasikukuba kum “ulwaphulo-mthetho lwaluhamba negazi.” Ndakhululwa emva kokunkantsa iminyaka esi-8 kweli-15 endandigwetywe yona.
Ndakhululeka Ngokupheleleyo Ebumnyameni
Ndathi ndakukhululwa, ndabhideka kwakhona ibe ndaqalisa ukusebenzisa iziyobisi nje kancinane. Kwakhona ndanditshate isintu nelinye ibhinqa. Le nto yayiqale ngowe-1972. Noko ke, ngowe-1983, ndaphinda ndaqalisa ukufundisisa iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Ngoko, ndaqalisa ukuya rhoqo kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. Noko ke, ngaphambi kokufundisisa nokuya ezintlanganisweni, ndayeka ukusebenzisa iziyobisi nokutshaya.
Noko ke, ngokuchasene nomthetho kaThixo ophathelele umtshato, ndandisahlala nala mfazi ndandimtshate isintu. Isazela sam asizange sithi ncam, ngoko ndazama ukuba makafundisise iBhayibhile size sibhalise umtshato wethu ngokusemthethweni. Kodwa wathi iBhayibhile yincwadi nje yabantu eyenzelwe ukuthoba amabhinqa yaye akuyomfuneko ukutshata.
Ndabona ukuba andinakuqhubeka ndihlala ngendlela engafanelekanga nebhinqa elingayikhathalelanga imithetho kaThixo ephathelele umtshato. Emva koko, ndaluqhawula ulwalamano olwaluphakathi kwethu ndaza ndabuyela eBrooklyn. Ndandiyiqonda into yokuba andinakuthetha nabanye abantu ngoThixo nangeenjongo zakhe ukuba indlela endiphila ngayo mna ayivisisani nemithetho yakhe.
Emva kokukhululeka kwizenzo ezingavisisaniyo nezibhalo sele ndifundisise neBhayibhile kangangeminyaka emithathu, ngesazela esicocekileyo ndahlulela ubomi bam ekwenzeni ukuthanda kukaThixo ndaza ndakubonisa oko ngokubhaptizwa kwenye indibano yamaNgqina kaYehova. Isithembiso endasenzayo sokwazi uThixo onegama endandisoloko ndixelelwa ngalo ngutata yinto endingasoze ndizisole ngayo. Ibe isithembiso endasenza kuYehova ndikwinzonzobila yentolongo yaseDannemora ndakusisebenzela nzima de athulule iintsikelelo ezininzi azithembisayo kwiLizwi lakhe.
Ndikhangele Phambili Eparadesi
Ndikhangele phambili ngolangazelelo kwixesha apho uYehova aya kutshintsha wonke lo mhlaba ube yiparadesi entle. (INdumiso 37:11, 29; Luka 23:43) Ibe ndikhangele phambili kwesinye isithembiso sikaThixo—ukuvuswa kwabafileyo ukuze bafumane ithuba lokuphila ngonaphakade emhlabeni. (Yohane 5:28, 29; IZenzo 24:15) Hayi indlela ekuya kuba mnandi ngayo xa ndisamkela abantu endibathandayo bephuma emangcwabeni, phakathi kwabo kukho utata, umninawa wam, nabanye abantu endibaziyo abafa ngaphambi kwexesha! Ndisoloko ndicinga ngeli themba ibe lindivuyisa gqitha. Enye into endivuyisayo ngoku yeyokuba oodade wethu ababini nabanye babantwana babo baye bahlulela ubomi babo kuYehova baza babhaptizwa.
Ngoku njengoko ndixelela abanye ngokholo endinalo ibe ndibabalisela amava obomi bam, ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo ngokukwazi ukubaxelela la mazwi athuthuzelayo omdumisi, abhalwe kwiNdumiso 72:12-14: “Uya kulihlangula ihlwempu elizibikayo, nabaziintsizana abangenaluncedo; abenzele inceba abasweleyo nabangamahlwempu; asindise imiphefumlo yamahlwempu; akhulule imiphefumlo yawo ekuxinezelweni nasekugonyamelweni; linqabile emehlweni akhe igazi lawo.”
Umonde oye wabonakaliswa nguYehova kum uye wandichwayitisa ibe undincede ndakwazi ukufunda ndize ndiphile ngendlela afuna abantu bakhe baphile ngayo—ndingafani nengonyama eneengcwangu, kodwa ndibe noxolo, ububele, nobulali kanye njengemvu. Kufuneka kube njalo, kuba iLizwi likaThixo lithi, “abalulamileyo uyabababala.”—IMizekeliso 3:34.
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 18]
“Ndaphinda ndabanjelwa ukuqhekeza yaye ndajija iminyaka emibini kwintolongo ekwiSiqithi iRikers kwiSixeko saseNew York. Ndakhululwa ngowe-1965. Ndaphinda kwangaloo nyaka ndabanjelwa ukubulala. Ndandingasengomntu ngaphandle kokuba ndandiyingonyama eneengcwangu!”
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 19]
Usuku endabhaptizwa ngalo