Ukufumana ‘Okwakunqwenelwa Yintliziyo Yam’
Ngokubaliswa nguP. J. Wentzel
XA INQANAWA yethu eyayivela eMzantsi Afrika yemisa kwichweba leenqanawa eNew York, indoda entsundu yadibana nathi echwebeni. Yayilapho ukuze isise kwiindawo esasiza kuhlala kuzo mna, nomfazi wam uLina, nexhegokazi elalihamba nathi. Semisa kummandla wabantsundu, yaye umqhubi waphuma esiya kuhlola ikhelingi yeqabane esasihamba nalo. Lathi kum, “Kodwa Piet yonke le ndawo yeyabantsundu!”
Ndalikhumbuza ndathi, “Apha kuseMerika. Akukho mahluko phakathi kontsundu nomhlophe apha; sonke siyafana.” (Kodwa ngaphakathi kum ndandinethemba lokuba mna nomfazi wam sasiza kusiwa kwikhaya lomntu omhlophe!) Ngoko umqhubi wabuya eze kuthatha iqabane lethu, elamkelwa ngokufudumeleyo yintsapho yabantu abantsundu.
Lafika nelethu ithuba—kwakuloo mmandla wabantsundu. Njengokuba owayesamkela nomfazi wakhe babesondela kwinqwelo-mafutha, ndathandaza ngokunyanisekileyo kuThixo ukuba andincede ndahlukane nalo naliphi na ikhethe lobuhlanga elalisenokuba lisekho kum—nto leyo endayizuz’ ilifa kubazali bam.
Aba bantu bantsundu baseNew York basamkela ngokufudumeleyo. Basingenisa egumbini lethu, apho yonke into yayicoceke ngokugqithiseleyo. Xa bathi basishiya sodwa, sasithe cwaka ekuqaleni. Wandula ke uLina waya kumandlalo, waphakamisa ingubo engaphezulu waza wathi: “Piet, hayi indlela ekumangalisa ngayo ukucinga ukuba ngale ngokuhlwa, okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bam, ndimele ndilale kumandlalo womfazi womntu ontsundu!” Kodwa sabazi saza sabathanda gqitha abamkeli zindwendwe bethu.
Kutheni le nto kwakungelula nje ngam nangamaqabane endandihamba nawo ukoyisa ikhethe lobuhlanga?
Iimpembelelo Zasebutsheni
IBonnievale, apho ndazalelwa khona ngowe-1922, iyidolophu encinane emalunga neekhilomitha ezingama-160 ngasempuma Kapa, eMzantsi Afrika. Ubawo wayelilungu leCawa yaseDatshi. Leyo yayiyicawa yabamhlophe kuphela. Abantu abantsundu babeneecawa zabo kwilokishi eyahlukileyo apho babehlala khona. Ngoko sakhuliselwa ekubeni samkele ukwahlulwahlulwa kweentlanga.
Yaye hayi indlela elinokwendela nzulu ngayo ikhethe lobuhlanga! Safundiswa ukuba uhlanga lwethu luphakamile. Abantu abantsundu sasibajonga njengabantu bokuphathwa nje ngabantu kodwa kungekhona njengabalingana nathi ngokwentlalo. Ngemihla yobutsha bam isiko lalikukubangenisa kumnyango ongasemva, yaye ukuba sasibanika iti, sasibalungiselela yona kwimagi ekhethekileyo eyayigcinelwe abantu abantsundu kuphela. Sakhokelelwa ekubeni sikholelwe ukuba izinto zazisenokuba zazahlukile ezulwini, kodwa apha emhlabeni kukho ucalucalulo olungqongqo.
Ngokukhawuleza emva kokufikelela kwi-17 leminyaka ubudala, ndabuza ubawo enoba ndandinokubekwa izandla na, kodwa waba noluvo lokuba ndandisemncinane gqitha. Noko ke, kunyaka owalandelayo wandixelela ukuba kwakulixesha lokuba ndibekwe izandla. Ndakuthabatha nzulu kakhulu oku. Kum kwathetha ukuzinikela kukabani kuThixo nokwenza ukuthanda kwakhe. Yaye ekubeni ndandiphilela ihlabathi neziyolo zalo, kuquka ukutshaya ngamandla, ndaqonda ukuba kwakufuneka ndenze iinguqulelo ezinkulu ebomini bam.
Ngoko ngalo lonke ixesha lesidlo sasemini, ndandichitha ixesha lam elininzi ndifunda iBhayibhile. Yayisisityhilelo kum—ndandibona ukuba indlela endandiphila ngayo mna nentsapho yakowethu yayisilela kakhulu kokufunwa ziZibhalo. Nangona ndandifunda iBhayibhile ngolwimi lwam, isiBhulu, kwakukuninzi endandingakuqondi kuyo. Ngenxa yoko, andizange ndifunde nje kuphela kodwa ndakwathandaza kuThixo ukuba andincede ndiqonde iBhayibhile.
Xa ixesha lokubekwa izandla lafikayo, ndandisendifunde into eninzi eBhayibhileni. Ndabuza ubawo apho ukubekw’ izandla kuchazwe khona eBhayibhileni ukuze ndiyifundisise loo ndawo.
Waphendula wathi, “Akuchazwanga eBhayibhileni. Kuyinto efunwa yicawa.” Ndothuswa gqitha koko!
Ndabuza oku, “Kodwa ukuba ukubekwa izandla akukho ngokweLizwi likaThixo, ndinokukwamkela njani? Yaye ukuba siyalahlekiswa kulo mbandela ubalulekileyo, ndinokubunikela njani ubomi bam ecaweni?”
Hayi ke, ukususela ngoko kuse phambili ndaqalisa ukufuna inyaniso.
Ukufuna Inyaniso
Ngenye imini umhlobo wam wandimemela kwinkonzo yeCawa yaseDatshi—endandingasayi kuyo okwexesha elithile. Apho umlungiseleli wathetha ngethemba: “Ukuba ke sithembe ukuzuza oko singakuboniyo, sikulinda kakhulu, sinomonde.” (Roma 8:24, 25) He-e, naku ke kanye endandifuna ukukwazi! Liyintoni ithemba lethu? Ndiphilela ntoni? Ngaba ngoku ndandinokuzifumana iimpendulo? Kodwa umfundisi wasilela ukuchaza ithemba lekamva. Njengokuba ndandihleli apho, ndakhunga uThixo ukuba ancede umfundisi ukuba andincede!
Kukho nto ithile eyandiphazamisayo. Ndaphawula ukuba abantu abaninzi babesozela. Ndandilangazelela ukuva inyaniso, yaye apha abantu babelele! Ndayishiya icawa ndiziva ndidanile, yaye andizange ndiphinde ndiye kwakhona.
Kamva ndaxubusha iBhayibhile nomhlobo wam owayeneengcamango ezithile zeecawa zomoya. Wathi umntu ofuna ukukhonza uThixo kwakufuneka abhaptizwe ngokuntywiliselwa ngokupheleleyo emanzini. Ngoko ndaya kwinkonzo eyalandelayo yeli qela lincinane ndaza ndabhaptizwa emlanjeni. Oku kwamcaphukisa gqitha ubawo. Wade wandisongela ngokundibulala ngenxa yokuthelela eli qela! Ndandingasenakuyifunda iBhayibhile ekhaya kodwa ndenjenjalo neqela elincinane endalithelelayo. Ndandingasenakudla nokudla oku nobawo, yaye nanini na ndidibana naye, wayendixelela ukuba ndingamjongi. Wayengafuni ukububona ubuso bam!
Iqela elincinane lecawa yomoya lalifunda nje iBhayibhile, licula yaye lithandaza kunye lize lithethe ngeelwimi. Ngelo xesha ndandibucocile ubomi bam, kuquka ukuyeka ukutshaya. Ndazama ngamandla ukuba ndifumane umoya njengabanye, ndide ndizile nokudla iintsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa akuzange kwenzeke nto. Ndandula ke izinto ndazicinga ngenye indlela. Ndandisazi ukuba edolophini kwakukho abanye ababezibabaza bethetha ngeelwimi, kodwa ababephila ubomi bokuziphatha okubi. Ngoko uThixo wayenokuwunikela njani umoya wakhe kubantu ababomi babo babungavisisani nokuthanda kwakhe? Yaye kukho enye into eyandixakayo. Ndagqiba ekubeni ndibuze inkokeli yeqela lethu.
Ndabuza ndathi: “Ngaba umoya oyingcwele nina eniwufumanayo uyafana nomoya oyingcwele owaphefumlela iBhayibhile?”
Waphendula wathi, “Ewe.”
“Ngaba umhlaba uza kuba likhaya lomntu likanaphakade, okanye ngaba uza kutshatyalaliswa?”
“Umhlaba uza kutshatyalaliswa, yaye amaKristu aza kuhlala ezulwini.”
Ndaphendula ndathi, “Kodwa kukho into ephosakeleyo apha ekubeni iBhayibhile isithi umhlaba umi ngonaphakade—mazwi lawo aphefumlelwe ngumoya kaThixo—umoya okwamnye nenithi ninawo.”—INtshumayeli 1:4.
Ngoko ndaqonda ukuba iqela lethu elincinane lalingenanyaniso. Ukuyifuna kwam kwaqhubeka.
Ngenye imini inkokeli yeqela lecawa yomoya yandizisela incwadi yesiNgesi eyayinomxholo othi uButyebi, eyayipapashwe yiWatchtower Society. Ndiqala nje ukuyifunda, ndandinokubona ukuba yayivisisana noko ndandikufunde eBhayibhileni. Ekugqibeleni ndayifumana inyaniso! Ndabhala ndicela iimpapasho ezingakumbi. Iqela lethu elincinane lazamkela ngolangazelelo olukhulu ezi mpapasho, yaye sazisebenzisa ukufundisisa iBhayibhile nokunikela ubungqina kwabanye. Ngokukhawuleza emva koku, kwafika amaNgqina kaYehova ambalwa eBonnievale etyelele okwexeshana, yaye saba nengxubusho entle nawo. Ngaphezu koko, abane kwiqela lethu bawathelela ekushumayeleni kwindlu ngendlu ngeCawa elandelayo.
Sabumba Ibandla Elincinane
Ukuze sikwazi ukuqhubeka sisasaza isigidimi sethemba, saodola iincwadi ezingakumbi kwiofisi yesebe yeWatchtower Society eyayiseKapa. Yaphendula yathi kuqala sasimele senze isicelo sokwenza ibandla. Sasikoyika oku ekuqaleni, kodwa njengokuba imfuneko yeencwadi yayinyanzelisa ngakumbi, ekugqibeleni senza isicelo saza senziwa salibandla elitsha—abane nje kuphela bethu, nangona kwakungekho namnye kuthi owayeliNgqina elibhaptiziweyo!
Zonke iinyanga, sasinika ingxelo yomsebenzi wethu wokushumayela esasiwenzile. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba sasingaqeqeshwanga, sasingabuyeli kubantu ababebonakalise umdla. Iofisi yesebe yakwalatha ngokuphandle oku kuthi inyanga nenyanga. Ekugqibeleni ababini kuthi baba nenkalipho baza baya kwikhaya elalinabantu ababebonakala belangazelela. Sayihlanganisa le ntsapho saza savuma ingoma kunye. Ndandula ke ndavula ngomthandazo ndaza ndavulela iteyipu eyayinenye yeentetho zeBhayibhile zikaJ. F. Rutherford. Bonke baphulaphula ngenyameko. Saqukumbela ngenye ingoma nomthandazo. Njengokuba sasisiya ekhaya ndathi: “Kaloku, elo ‘ibilibuyelo lethu’ lokuqala!”
Ngelo xesha inkcaso kabawo yayiqhubeka ngamandla. Ulwazi lwam ngeBhayibhile lwalulinganiselwe gqitha! Kanti endandikwazi, ndandikukholelwa ngokunzulu entliziyweni yam. Ngenye imini omnye woodade wethu, uRachel, weza kusityelela. Ebudeni bexesha lesidlo sasemini, waqalisa ukuthetha ngoBathathu Emnye.
Wabuza wathi, “Kutheni bantundini niyichasa nje imfundiso kaBathathu Emnye? ICawa yethu ifundisa ngokuphandle ukuba uYise, uNyana noMoya Oyingcwele bayalingana ngobukho nangamandla.”
Ndaphendula ndathi, “Ukuba umoya oyingcwele uyalingana noYise noNyana, ngoko unokundenzela kanye into uYise noNyana abanokundenzela yona. Ngoko bendingathi ngokunjalo ndithandaze kumoya oyingcwele.”
URachel akazange agqabaze. Kodwa ubawo, owayekwelinye igumbi, wakhwaza esithi: “Rachel, yahlukana naye. Akunakumnceda lowo.” Yonke intsapho yaqokelelana ukuza kuxhasa uRachel. Ubawo wangena edubulekile, ephelile ngumsindo. Wafumbatha inqindi lakhe, walizisa ebunzini lam—kodwa akenza nto. Ndahlala ndithe cwaka yaye ndizinzile.
Ubawo wandingxolisa wathi, “Uhleli apho okwesithunywa esihanahanisayo.” Wandikhumbuza ngexesha laxa ndandifuna ukungenela umkhosi wokulwa nxamnye noHitler yaye akazange andivumele ekubeni ndandisemncinane. “Ngoku sendisithi akwaba wawuhambile uze ubulawe!” wahlokoma ngelitshoyo. Ngaphakathi ndambulela ngokuzolileyo ngokundithintela ekubhaliseni emkhosini.
Kwakuba kudlule oko, ndaphumela phandle ndaza ndacinga. Ngaphambi kokuba ndibe nomdla eBhayibhileni, kwakukho uxolo. Ngoku kwakukho ingxabano ekrakra entsatsheni. Ndandifanele ndenze ntoni? Ngaba ndandifanele ndibuyele ecaweni ndize ngaloo ndlela ndibuyisele uxolo Iwentsapho? Ukuba ndandenjenjalo, ndandiya kuba ndizilahlile iinyaniso ezixabisekileyo endazifundayo. Abazali bam bandizisa ehlabathini, kodwa nguThixo kuphela owayenokundinika ubomi obungunaphakade. Isandla sam sikumthi omhle wesundu, ndime nkqo yaye ngokuqinileyo, ndagqiba kweli: “Banokundibulala, kodwa andiyi kubuya umva.”
Ukungenela Inkonzo Yexesha Elizeleyo
Ndingatshatanga, ndiselula yaye ndomelele, ndaba noluvo lokuba umsebenzi wam kumzi-mvelisi wasekuhlaleni wesonka samasi wawundibophelele gqitha. Apho ndandisebenza iintsuku ezintandathu ngeveki ndifumana umvuzo omncinane kodwa ndandinokuchitha usuku olunye kuphela ngeveki kwinkonzo engcwele kuYehova, endandilindele kuye ubomi obungunaphakade. Ndandinokuyenza njani into yokuba ndiqhubeke ndisenza isonka samasi ndakuba ndineenyaniso ezixabisekileyo ezinokusindisa ubomi? Ndafuna ukuba ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo.
Ndabhalela uMbutho ndaza ndathi ndandifuna ukuba ‘nguvulindlela,’ okanye umsebenzi wexesha elizeleyo. Ndabuza ndathi, “Kodwa ndandinokuba nguye njani?” Ndandineminyaka eli-18 kuphela ubudala yaye ubawo wayengenakuze avume. Ndafumana impendulo enala mazwi mahle athi: “Ziyolise ngoYehova; wokunika okunqwenelwa yintliziyo yakho.” (INdumiso 37:4) Wawunokuzaliswa njani umnqweno wentliziyo yam ekubeni ubawo wayechasa kangaka nje? Sekunjalo, ndawacingisisa loo mazwi ndaza ndaqhubeka ndithandaza.
Ekugqibeleni ndalenza icebo. Ubawo ndamxelela ukuba ndandingenakamva eBonnievale nokuba ndandifuna ukufudukela eKapa. Wathi: “Ndiyasazi isizathu soko. Ufuna ukuya kuthengisa ezo ncwadi zikaJudge Rutherford!” Kodwa wavuma.
EKapa ndasebenza nzima ukuze ndifumane imali eyaneleyo yokuthenga izinto ezimbalwa endandiya kuzifuna ukuqalisa ubulungiseleli bexesha elizeleyo. Xa ndadibana nomveleli wesebe, uGeorge Phillips, ndandinengxaki. Ekubeni ndandivela kubantu abathetha isiBhulu, ndandingasazi kakuhle isiNgesi kangangokuba kwafuneka ukuba ndithethe ngotolika. Yaye ezintlanganisweni kwakukuncinane gqitha endandikuqonda kangangokuba ngesinye isihlandlo xa kwakulungiselelwa indibano eKapa ndaphoswa yiyo ngenxa yokuba andizange ndisiqonde isaziso!
NgoNovemba uMzalwan’ uPhillips wandazisa ukuba ndandinethuba lokuya kuba nguvulindlela eKimberley, yaye ndandinokuqalisa kwinyanga elandelayo. Ndaya ekhaya ukuya kuxelela intsapho yakowethu ukuba isale kakuhle. Kwafuneka ukuba ndilawule iimvakalelo zam ngenxa yokuba ndacinga ukuba ndandingayi kuphinde ndibabone ngaphambi kweArmagedon! Kodwa andizange ndibaxelele ukuba ndandiya kuba nguvulindlela.
Ndaqalisa umsebenzi wam wobuvulindlela eKimberley ngoDisemba 1, 1941, xa ndandineminyaka eli-19 ubudala. Ndandibabhalela abazali bam. Andizange ndimgculele ubawo ngenxa yendlela awayendiphethe ngayo. Umama waphendula ngelokuba wayevuyiswa kukuba ndade ndawuzalisa umnqweno wentliziyo yam. Ngenene, ‘ndaziyolisa ngoYehova’ ngenxa yokuba wandinika ‘okwakunqwenelwa yintliziyo yam’—ubulungiseleli bexesha elizeleyo.
Ukufumana Okunye ‘Okwakunqwenelwa Yintliziyo Yam’
Ngowe-1942, kwindibano yezizwe eyayise-Rhawutini endayayo kuyo, ndafuzisela ukuzahlulela kwam kuThixo ngobhaptizo. Kwiminyaka emibini kamva ndadibana nodade oselula owayenguvulindlela, uLina Muller. Saba nomdla omnye komnye, kodwa savumelana kwelokuba silinde de kube semva kwembandezelo enkulu ngaphambi kokucinga nzulu ngomtshato.
Ngowe-1945 kwaqalisa iphulo lentlanganiso yesidlangalala. Ngelo xesha ndandikhonza eVereeniging nabanye oovulindlela ababini, omnye onguFrans Muller, umntakwabo Lina. Ekuqaleni kwethu ukuva ngeli phulo litsha, savumelana ngelokuba lalingelolethu—sasingenamava njengezithethi zasesidlangalaleni. Noko ke, ngokukhuthazwa nguMbutho, sakhetha iintetho. Ukuqhelisela indlela yokuzinikela sakhetha eyona ndawo ithe cwaka ngakuMlambo iLigwa, apho sathetha ‘nabaphulaphuli’ bethu—umlambo! Kwinyanga kamva, saziva singabavuzwe kakuhle xa kunokuba sibe ngaba-4 okanye aba-5 kwintlanganiso yethu yeqela, kweza abantu abangama-37 kwintetho yokuqala!
Ngowe-1947 ndabelwa kumsebenzi wesiphaluka. Kunyaka owalandelayo mna noLina satshata. Ukususela ngoko, umfazi wam endimthandayo ubesoloko ekunye nam kulo msebenzi—ulelona qabane linyanisekileyo. Ngoko ndanikwa okunye ‘okwakunqweneIwa yintliziyo yam.’
Ukufunda Izifundo Ezibalulekileyo
Ngowe-1953 mna noLina saba nelungelo elikhulu lokuya kwindibano “yeButho Lehlabathi Elitsha” eyayiseNew York, eU.S.A.—olo yayiluhambo Iwethu lokuqala ukuya phesheya. Kwakungelo xesha awathi omnye wabazalwana bethu abangamaKristu wasithabatha echwebeni wasisa kwikhaya lentsapho yamaNgqina antsundu esasihlala nawo. Hayi indlela esabathanda ngayo abo bazalwana noodade abathandekayo!
La mava asinceda kakhulu xa kamva ndathi ndakhonza njengomveleli wesithili kuma-Ngqina antsundu aseMzantsi Afrika, apho ngokufuthi sasisamkelwa kumakhaya athobekileyo, maxa wambi sihlala emgangathweni yaye ngaxa lithile sade salala kuwo.
Ukususela ngowe-1966 mna nomfazi wam besikhonza eBheteli apha eMzantsi Afrika. Emva kokuchitha phantse iminyaka engama-20 njengomveleli ohambahambayo, okokuqala ndakufumanisa kunzima ukuqhelana nobomi baseBheteli. Ndandikuthanda gqitha ukuba ngaphandle ndishumayela, ndifundisa yaye ndiqeqesha abanye. Kodwa njengoko lalihamba ixesha, ndazifundisa ukuyixabisa ngokunzulu inkonzo yaseBheteli. Ekuhambeni kwexesha ndajizekwa ngelungelo lokusebenza kwiSebe Lezenkonzo yaye ngoku kangangeminyaka emininzi njengelungu leKomiti Yesebe.
Xa ndikhangela emva, ndikhumbula ukuba ngowe-1942, ngoxa sasiseseKimberley, seva ngokufa komongameli woMbutho, uJ. F. Rutherford. Ingxelo yamaphephandaba yagqabaza yathi: ‘Ngoku ngenxa yokuba inkokeli yamaNgqina kaYehova ifile, intlangano yawo iza kubuna ize ife, njengesityalo sethanga kwilanga eligqatsileyo.’ Endaweni yoko, hayi indlela intlangano eye yaqhubeka isanda kakuhle ngayo kuyo yonke le minyaka—kwanasebudeni bokugqatsa kwentshutshiso! Yaye olunjani ukumangalisa ulwando oluye Iwenzeka eMzantsi Afrika ukususela kuloo minyaka yangaphambili eBonnievale! Ngelo xesha kwakukho amaNgqina ali-1 000 eMzantsi Afrika; ngoku kukho angaphezu kwama-36 000.
Xa ndicinga ngendikwenzelwe nguYehova nentlangano yakhe kuyo yonke le minyaka, ndiwakhuthaza ngokusuk’ entliziyweni onke amaNgqina aselula angoowethu ukuba angenele inkonzo yexesha elizeleyo ukuba kunokwenzeka. Izisa imivuzo etyebileyo. Ndiyaqonda ukuba ukuba ndiyaqhubeka ndiziyolisa ngokwenza ukuthanda kukaYehova, uya kundinika okunqwenelwa yintliziyo yam—inkonzo evuyisayo kanaphakade.
[Amagama acatshuliweyo akwiphepha 9]
Sabazi saza sabathanda abamkeli zindwendwe bethu abathandekayo abantsundu
[Amagama acatshuliweyo akwiphepha 12]
Ubawo wakhwaza wathi, “Uhleli apho njengesithunywa esihanahanisayo. Ngoku sendisithi akwaba wawuhambile uze ubulawe!”
[Amagama acatshuliweyo akwiphepha 13]
Hayi indlela intlangano eye yaqhubeka isanda kakuhle ngayo kuyo yonke le minyaka—kwanasebudeni bokugqatsa kwentshutshiso!
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]
UP. J. Wentzel nomfazi wakhe uLina