ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA AMAFUNSA
Kodi Ndine Wopirira?
Kodi ndinu wopirira? Kodi zinthu zotsatirazi zinakuchitikiranipo?
Imfa ya munthu amene mumam’konda.
Matenda okhalitsa.
Ngozi yadzidzidzi.
Ochita kafukufuku amanena kuti si mavuto aakulu okha amene amafunika kuwapirira. Ngakhale mavuto omwe mumakumana nawo tsiku ndi tsiku akhoza kuwononga thanzi lanu. N’chifukwa chake muyenera kukhala wopirira kaya mukukumana ndi mavuto aakulu kapena aang’ono.
Kodi munthu wopirira amatani?
Munthu wopirira ndi amene amatha kuthana ndi mavuto amene akukumana nawo komanso savutika kwambiri zinthu zikasintha pa moyo wake. Ngakhale kuti amakumananso ndi mavuto ngati wina aliyense, amakhalabe olimba.
Mofanana ndi mtengo umene wapirira chimphepo champhamvu ndipo wadzukanso, inunso mukhoza kupirira mukakumana ndi mavuto
N’chifukwa chiyani kukhala wopirira n’kofunika?
Aliyense amakumana ndi mavuto. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Anthu othamanga kwambiri sapambana pampikisano, . . . ndipo ngakhale odziwa zinthu sakondedwa, chifukwa nthawi yatsoka ndi zinthu zosayembekezereka zimagwera onsewo.” (Mlaliki 9:11) Tikuphunzirapo chiyani? Anthu abwino nawonso amakumana ndi mavuto, ndipo nthawi zina osati chifukwa choti anachita zinazake zolakwika.
Kupirira kungakutetezeni. Mlangizi wapasukulu ina ya sekondale ananena kuti: “Ophunzira ambiri amabwera mu ofesi mwanga ali okhumudwa chifukwa choti sanakhoze bwino mayeso kapena chifukwa choti munthu wina wawanena pamalo ochezera a pa intaneti.” Ngakhale kuti zimenezi zingaoneke zazing’ono, koma ngati mwana wa sukulu sangakwanitse kuthana nazo, “akhoza kuyamba kuvutika maganizo.”a
Kupirira kungakuthandizeni panopa komanso mukadzakula. Dokotala wina dzina lake Richard Lerner anafotokoza za zinthu zokhumudwitsa zomwe timakumana nazo. Iye analemba kuti: “Ngati umakwanitsa kupirira mavuto amene wakumana nawo, kapena kupeza njira zina kuti ukwanitse kuchita zimene umafuna, sungadzavutike ukadzakula ndipo zinthu zimakuyendera bwino.”b
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale wopirira?
Muziona mavuto anu moyenera. Muzitha kusiyanitsa pakati pa mavuto aakulu ndi mavuto aang’ono. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Munthu amene amasonyeza mkwiyo wake tsiku lomwelo ndi wopusa, koma wochenjera akachitiridwa chipongwe, amangozinyalanyaza.” (Miyambo 12:16) Choncho si mavuto onse amene ayenera kukusowetsani mtendere.
“Kusukulu, anzanga ambiri amakonda kudandaula pa zinthu zosafunika n’komwe. Ndiye anzawo akakawachemerera pa intaneti, amaganiza kuti akuchita bwino, m’malo moti aone zinthu moyenera n’kupeza njira yothetsera vutolo.”—Joanne.
Muziphunzira kuchokera kwa ena. Mwambi wina wa m’Baibulo umanena kuti: “Chitsulo chimanola chitsulo chinzake. Momwemonso munthu amanola munthu mnzake.” (Miyambo 27:17) Mukhoza kuphunzira zambiri kuchokera kwa anthu amene anapirira atakumana ndi mavuto aakulu pamoyo wawo.
“Mukamacheza ndi anthu ena, mukhoza kupeza kuti nawonso anakumanapo ndi mavuto ambiri, koma anakwanitsa kupirira. Muzicheza nawo n’kuona zimene anachita komanso zimene sanachite kuti apirire.”—Julia.
Muzikhala woleza mtima. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Wolungama akhoza kugwa ngakhale nthawi 7 ndipo ndithu adzadzukanso.” (Miyambo 24:16) Mukakumana ndi mavuto, pamatenga nthawi kuti zinthu ziyambenso kuyenda bwino, choncho musamadabwe ngati nthawi zina mukumakhala wokhumudwa. Chofunika n’choti ‘mudzukenso.’
“Mukathana ndi vuto linalake, pamatenga nthawi kuti muyambirenso kusangalala. Ndipo ndaona kuti nthawi ikamapita m’pamene zinthu zimayambanso kuyenda bwino.”—Andrea.
Muzikhala ndi mtima woyamikira. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Sonyezani kuti ndinu oyamikira.” (Akolose 3:15) Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukukumana ndi mavuto aakulu, pamakhala zinazake zabwino zomwe mukhoza kuziyamikira. Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani zinthu zitatu zomwe muli nazo pa moyo wanu.
“Ukamakumana ndi mavuto, umadzifunsa kuti, ‘N’chifukwa chani zimenezi zikundichitikira?’ Koma munthu wopirira safunika kumangoganizira za mavuto ake. Chofunika ndi kuona zinthu moyenera, kuyamikira zomwe uli nazo komanso zimene ungakwanitse kuchita.”—Samantha.
Muzikhala wokhutira. Mtumwi Paulo ananena kuti: “M’zochitika zosiyanasiyana ine ndaphunzira kukhala wokhutira ndi zimene ndili nazo.” (Afilipi 4:11) Paulo analibe mphamvu zothetsera mavuto amene ankakumana nawo. Koma akanatha kudziwa zoyenera kuchita akakumana ndi mavutowo. Choncho iye anasankha kukhala wokhutira.
“Ndaona kuti ndikakumana ndi vuto linalake ndimachita zinthu mopupuluma. Ndiye panopa cholinga changa n’choti ndiziona vuto lililonse moyenera. Zimenezi zizithandizanso ngakhale anthu ena.”—Matthew.
Muzipemphera. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Umutulire Yehova nkhawa zako, ndipo iye adzakuchirikiza. Sadzalola kuti wolungama agwedezeke.” (Salimo 55:22) Sikuti kupemphera kumangokuthandizani kuti mungomva bwino basi. Koma ndi njira yomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito polankhulana ndi Mlengi wanu, amene “amakuderani nkhawa.”—1 Petulo 5:7.
“Sindingathane ndi mavuto anga pandekha. Ndiye ndimapemphera kwa Mulungu n’kumuuza mavuto omwe ndikukumana nawo komanso kumuthokoza chifukwa cha zabwino zomwe wandichitira. Ndikamaganizira za madalitso omwe Yehova wandipatsa ndimasiya kuganizira kwambiri mavuto anga. Pemphero ndi lofunika kwambiri!”—Carlos.
a Kuchokera m’buku lakuti, Disconnected, lolembedwa ndi Thomas Kersting.
b Kuchokera m’buku lakuti, The Good Teen—Rescuing Adolescence From the Myths of the Storm and Stress Years.