Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndimotani Mmene Ndingathetsere Kusungulumwa Kwanga?

KODI mumada nkhawa mutakhala ndi chimfine? Mwinamwake ai. Mumadziwa kuti chidzatha. Koma bwanji ngati zizindikiro za chimfinecho zipitirira? Pamenepo mungakhale muli ndi chinachake choipa kwenikweni kuposa chimfine chosakhalitsa, ndipo muyenera kuda nkhawa.

Zofananazo nzowona mutadzimva wosungulumwa. Nyengo zambiri za kusungulumwa nzapakanthawi kochepa.a Koma nthawi zina kutsendereza kopitirizabe kwa kusungulumwa kumaumirira. Sipamawonekera kukhala njira yoturukira.

Ronny, wophunzira wa pasukulu ya pamwamba, akusimba kuti: “Ndakhala ndikupita ku sukulu m’chigawo chino kwa zaka zisanu ndi zitatu, koma kwa nthawi yonseyo sindinathe kupanga bwenzi n’limodzi lomwe! . . . Palibe yemwe amadziwa mmene ndimadzimverera ndipo palibe ndi mmodzi yense amene amasamala. Nthawi zina ndimadzimva kuti sindingapirire nazo nkomwe!”—Preparing for Adolescence.

Mofanana ndi Ronny, a zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ambiri amakumana ndi chimene kaŵirikaŵiri chimatchedwa kusungulumwa kosachiritsika. Mwinamwake inu mumakumva kudzimva wopanda kanthu kumeneku. Ngati ndi tero, musataye mtima. Zowona, kusungulumwa kosachilitsika sikuli chinthu chaching’ono. Iko nkoipadi kuposa kusungulumwa kwa pakanthawi kochepa. M’chenicheni, ofufuza akunena kuti, kuwiriko “nkosiyana monga mmene chimfine chiri ndi chibayo.” Komatu monga mmene chibayo chingakhale chochiritsika, choteronso kusungulumwa kosachiritsika kungachotsedwe nakonso. Koma motani?

Kaya ngati kukhala wosungulumwa kungakhale chinthu cha apa ndi apo kapena njira yamoyo yomvetsa chisoni kwa inu, sitepi loyamba lopezera chothetsera ndiyo kumvetsetsa chochititsa chake. Mfumu Solomo wakale ananena kuti: “Munthu womvetsetsa ndiye amapeza chitsogozo chaluso.”—Miyambo 1:5, NW.

Rhonda wa zaka khumi mphambu zisanu ndi chimodzi akutchula chochititsa chofala cha kusungulumwa kosachiritsika mwa kunena kuti: “Ndiganiza kuti chifukwa chimene ndimadzimverera wosungulumwa kwenikweni chiri chakuti—ndingoti sungakhale ndi mabwenzi ngati udzimva moipa iwemwini. Ndipo ndiganiza kuti sindimadzikonda kwambiri inemweini.”—Lonely in America.

Kusungulumwa kwa Rhonda kumachokera mkati mwake. Kudzipeputsa kwake kumapanga chochinga chimene chimamuletsa kumasuka ndi kupanga mabwenzi. Kodi mumagwirizana ndi kudzimva kwake? Wofufuza wina akunena kuti: “Malingaliro onga ngati ‘Sindine wokongola,’ ‘Ndine wosasangalatsa,’ ‘Ndine wachabe,’ ndiyo mitu ya nkhani yofala kwa okhala ndi kusungulumwa kosachiritsika.”

Kudzipeputsa, pambuyo pake, kungatulukepo mantha a kukanidwa. Akukumbukira tero Steven kuti: “Ndidafuna kulankhula ponena za kudzimva kwanga wosungulumwa, koma sindinadziwedi mawu akukulankhulira. Ndinawopa kuti anthu akandiseka kapena kusandimva mosamalitsa. Kunalidi kovuta kuyamba kulankhula.” Chotero, a zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ena amangokhala chete, ndi kuvutika nazo mwa kachetechete. Kodi zimenezi zingasinthidwe motani?

Mangilirani Kudzilemekeza

Mfungulo ya kulakila kusungulumwa imakhala m’kumangilira kudzilemekeza. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Pakuti ndi chisomo chapatsidwa kwa ine, ndiuza munthu aliyense wa inu, kuti asadziyese koposa kumene ayenera kudziyesa.” (Aroma 12:3; yerekezani ndi Mateyu 19:19.) Ichi chikusonyeza kuti mlingo wa kudzilemekeza ngofunika. Chotero, Baibulo limachenjeza motsutsana osati kokha ndi kudziyesa kopambanitsa komanso kudzipeputsa inueni.

Ndiiko nkomwe, Yehova anaika mwa munthu mikhalidwe yaumulungu. (Genesis 1:26) Chotero ku mlingo winawake inu muli ndi mikhalidwe yokongola imeneyo mkati mwanu. Kodi ndinu wofatsa, wodzichepetsa, wophunzitsika? Kapena kodi ndinu wowoloŵa manja, woganizira ena, wachifundo? Musadziphimbe inueni ku maubwino oterowo. Mwinamwake mungakulitsenso maluso ndi maubwino ena opindulitsa. Zowona, pangakhale zinthu kwa inu zimene simumakonda, mwachitsanzo kawonekedwe kanu. Koma kodi mudzichepetseranji ndi chinachake chimene simungasinthe? Mmalo mwake, gwirirani ntchito pa mikhalidwe yoipa imene mungakhoze kusintha, monga ngati kusaleza mtima, kukwiya msanga, kapena dyera. Tengani nthawi kukulitsa chimene Baibulo limachitcha “umunthu watsopano,” wozindikiritsidwa ndi chifundo, kudzichepetsa maganizo, ndi kufatsa. (Akolose 3:9-12) Kudzilemekeza kwanu kudzakula!

Kuwonjezerapo, pamene muphunzira kudzikonda inueni, ena adzakokedwera ku mikhalidwe yanu yokhumbirikayo. Koma monga mmene zimakhalira kuti mungawonedi mitundumitundu ya duwa kokha itamasula, choteronso ena angayamikire mikhalidwe yanu mokwanira kokha mutaimasula kwa iwo. ‘Koma kodi zimenezo ndingazichite motani?’ inu mungafunse tero.

“Kulitsirani” kwa Ena

‘Uphungu wabwino koposa kwa munthu wosungulumwa,’ ikutero bukhu laposachedwapa la U.S. National Institute of Mental Health, ndiwo ‘kukhala wotanganitsidwa ndi anthu ena.’ Uphungu umenewu umagwirizana ndi uphungu wa Baibulo wa “kukulitsa” ndi kusonyeza “chikondi cha pamnansi,” kapena kuganizirana. (2 Akorinto 6:11-13; 1 Petro 3:8) Umagwiradi ntchito. Kufufuza kwina, kofalitsidwa m’magazine ya Adolescence, kunavumbula kuti ‘a zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 amene amasonyeza kudera nkhawa ndi ubwino wa ena samakhala osungulumwa monga a zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 amene samatero.’ Chifukwa ninji? Kusamalira ena sikumachotsa kokha maganizo anu pa kusungulumwa komanso kumasonkhezera ena kupeza chisangalalo mwa inu. Anthu kaŵirikaŵiri adzavomereza mwa kukukondani pambuyo pake. (Miyambo 11:25) Pamenepa, kodi mungayambe motani?

Kuthetsa Kukhala Chete

Natalie wa zaka khumi mphambu zisanu ndi zinayi anasankhapo kuti iye akachita zoposa kungokhala chete ndi kuyembekezera anthu kumupatsa moni. ‘Nanenso ndifunikira kukhala waubwenzi,’ iye akutero. ‘Kupanda apo anthu adzaganiza kuti ndikonda zandekha.’ Chotero yambani ndi kumwetulira. Munthu winayo angabwezere kumwetulirako.

Sitepi lotsatira, la kuyambitsa kukambitsirana, ndiyovutadi. Lillian, wa zaka 15, akuvomereza kuti: “Kupita kwa alendo kwa nthawi yoyamba kunalidi kochititsa mantha. Ndinawopa kuti sadzandilandira.” Kodi Lillian amayambitsa motani kukambitsirana? “Ndimafunsa mafunso opepuka,” iye akutero, “onga, ‘Kodi mwachokera kuti?’ ‘Kodi mumawadziwa auje?’ Tonse awirife tingakhale tikumudziwa munthuyo, ndipo mosataya nthawi timayamba kukambitsirana.” Kugawana zokumana nazo kungatumikirenso ngati zothetsa kukhala chete. Anne wa zaka khumi mphambu zisanu ndi zitatu akuwonjezera kuti: “Sindimayamba kulankhula za chinachake chachifupi kwenikweni chifukwa chakuti munthu winayo angaipidwe kapena kuwopsezedwa ndipo angandipewe.” Inde, sichanzeru kuzamiratu m’kukamitsirana pa nthawi yomweyo.

Ngakhale ndi tero, bwanji ngati nthawi zina simumadziwadi zonena? Chabwino, nthawi zonse pali zinthu zimene mungachite. Baibulo limasimba za mkazi wotchedwa Dorika yemwe “anadzala ndi ntchito zabwino ndi zachifundo” kaamba ka akazi amasiye osowa. Pamene anamwalira, akazi amasiyewo analira ndi chisoni. (Machitidwe 9:36-39) Ntchito zachifundo za Dorika zinam’kondetsa iye kwa iwo. Ntchito zachifundo ndi mzimu wowoloŵa manja mofananamo udzakuthandizani kupanga maubwenzi a mtengo wapatali.

Koma khalani wotsimikiza. Phunzirani kukhala wovomereza kuti anthu ena sadzayankha ku kumwetulira kwanu ndi kupatsa kwanu moni waubwenzi. Zitakhala tero, iwo ndi omwe ali ndi vuto—osati inu.

Kulaka Mbali Zovuta

Chikhalirechobe, a zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ambiri amavutika ndi kusungulumwa nthawi zina. Kumbukirani kuti kungakhale kosakhalitsa ndi kochititsidwa ndi mikhalidwe yosatheka kwa inu kuilamulira. Kaŵirikaŵiri kupita kwa nthawi kudzakuthandizani kulaka mbali zovutazo. Kusungulumwako kudzazimiririka.

Komabe, kusungulumwa kosachiritsika kumachokera mkati ndipo kungapangitsidwe ndi kudzipeputsa. Zitakhala tero, chitamponi kanthu! ‘Sinthani maganizo anu’ ndi ‘kuvala umunthu watsopano,’ akutero Mawu a Mulungu. (Aroma 12:2; Aefeso 4:23, 24) Inde, mangilirani kudzilemekeza mwa kukulitsa mikhalidwe yokhumbirika imene muli nayo mkati mwanu. Chitirani zinthu anthu ena, ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri adzakuyankhani.

Komabe, mosasamala kanthu ndi mmene anthu angachitire, inu mungakhale ndi bwenzi limene silingakugwiritseni mwala. Kodi ndani ameneyo? Yesu Kristu anawuza ophunzira ake kuti: “Mudzandisiya Ine pandekha. Ndipo sindidzakhala pandekha, chifukwa Atate ali pamodzi ndi Ine.” (Yohane 16:32) Unansi wa thithithi umenewu ndi Yehova unalimbitsa Yesu mkati mwa nyengo za kukhala yekha. Yehova angakhalenso bwenzi lanu lathithithi. Dziwani umunthu wake mwa kuwerenga Baibulo ndi kuwona chilengedwe chake. Limbitsani unansi wanu ndi iye ndi pemphero. Mwamsanga mudzapeza kuti unansi ndi Yehova Mulungu ndiwo yankho labwino koposa ku kusungulumwa kwanu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 20]

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