Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Tilekane?

‘Takhala tikupita kocheza chiyambire July ndipo tikulankhula ponena za ukwati. Koma ndiri ndi zikaikiro zambiri ponena za iye . . . ’

PAMENE chikondi chimafikira misewu yopingasa ya chosankha, sichiri chachilendo kaamba ka zikaikiro kuyambika. Ukwati uli wolemekezeka pakati pa Akristu—osati chinachake chotengedwa mopepuka. (Ahebri 13:4) Ndipo pamene kuli kwakuti ukwati ungapangitse okwatiranawo “kusangalala,” iwo ungabweretsenso “kuwawa ndi chisoni.” (Miyambo 5:18; 1 Akorinto 7:28, The New English Bible) Chotero pali chifukwa chabwino cha kufikira ukwati mochenjera.

Pa nthaŵi zina, ngakhale ndi tero, yoposa nkhani wamba yopepuka imaphatikizidwa; zikaikirozo zimachokera ku kuphophonya kowopsya mu munthu amene muyenda naye kocheza kapena kuchokera ku ubwenzi iwo weniwo. Ngati muli wokonzekera kutenga mathayo a ukwati, nchiyani chomwe mungachite ngati mudzipeza inu eni mutakanthidwa ndi kukaikira koteroko?

‘Nthaŵi Zonse Timakangana’

Ichi chiri chodera nkhaŵa chofala kaamba ka aŵiri opita limodzi kocheza. Ambiri, ngakhale ndi tero, amadzimva kuti kukangana kwa okondana sikuli chinachake choyenera kudera nacho nkhaŵa. Ndipo chiri chowona kuti ngakhale anthu amene amakondana wina ndi mnzake sangamvane pa nthaŵi zina—mwinamwake mwa malingaliro. (Yerekezani ndi Genesis 30:2; Machitidwe 15:39.) Koma ngati simumvana pa chifupifupi chirichonse, ngati kukambitsirana kulikonse kumatembenukira m’kukalipirana, kapena ngati ubwenzi wanu uli zungulirezungulire wa kulekana ndi kugwirizananso, samalani! Chingasonyeze kusoweka koipa kwauzimu kapena uchikulire wa malingaliro pa mbali ya mmodzi kapena nonse aŵiri. Akristu akuuzidwa kuchotsa “mkwiyo, kupsya mtima, . . . zonyansa zotuluka mkamwa.”—Akolose 3:8.

Kufufuza kwa adokotala 400 kunavumbula kuti kukangana kokhazikika kuli chisonyezero cha mphamvu cha “kusakonzekera kwa maganizo kaamba ka ukwati,” mwinamwake ngakhale kuvumbula “kuwombana kosagwirizanitsika pakati pa aŵiriwo.” Mowonjezereka, akuchenjeza tero Dr. Judson T. Landis, “kukangana . . . kuli ndithudi koneneratu za chimene chidzatsatira mu ukwati.”a

Ming’ankha mu Chida

Chochititsa china chodetsa nkhaŵa chingakhale kupeza kwanu kwa ziyambukiro zokhumudwitsa za umunthu mwa munthu ameneyu. Mkati mwa mbali zoyambirira za kutomerana, chiri kokha chachibadwa kuyesera kubisa zophophonya za munthuwe ndi kusonyeza chikondi ndi kulingalira. Mwamsanga kapena mochedwerapo, ngakhale kuli tero, “munthu wobisika wa mtima” amawonekera. (1 Petro 3:4) Mungayambe kuwona nsonga zosokoneza maganizo za dyera, kusakula msinkhu, kusintha mkhalidwe, kuuma mutu—ngakhale chiwawa.

Chimene chavumbulidwa chingakhale chowopsya mokwanira kukupangitsani inu kudabwa ngati mungafune kuthera moyo wanu wonse ndi munthu ameneyu. “Ndiri ndi zikaikiro zambiri ponena za iye chifukwa cha [mkhalidwe wokaikiridwa] wake wapapitapo ndi zinthu zimene zakhala zikuchitika chiyambire pamene tinayamba kupita kocheza,” anatero mkazi mmodzi wachichepere ponena za bwenzi lake lalimuna. “Kwa nthaŵi yonseyi imene takhala tikupita kocheza, iye wasonyeza kupanda kudziletsa.” Ndi wachisungiko motani mmene ukwati ungakhalire ndi mwamuna amene asonyeza “kusadziletsa”?

Komabe, kugamulapo kupanga unansi kumagwira ntchito pa mtengo uliwonse, ambiri amanyalanyaza kapena kuyesera kulungamitsa zophophonya zowonekera koposa.

Kuyang’ana ku Mbali Ina

Nchifukwa ninji ambiri amayang’ana ku mbali ina pamene chibwera ku zolakwa za wokondedwa? Popeza kuti kutomerana kumatengedwa mosamalitsa pakati pa Akristu owona—mongadi mmene icho chifunikira—ena amadzimva okakamizidwa kukwatira munthu amene akhala akupita naye kocheza. Iwo angawope kukhala ofunikira kuyang’anizana ndipo mwinamwake kuvulaza munthu yemwe akhala akupita naye kocheza. Ena amawopa kuti sadzakhala okhoza kupeza winawake womkwatira.

Palibe chirichonse cha izi mwa izo zokha, ngakhale ndi tero, zomwe ziri zifukwa zabwino kaamba ka kupitirizira ndi kutomerana kodzazidwa ndi mavuto. Kaamba ka chinthu chimodzi, pamene kuli kwakuti maganizo ndi malingaliro a ena ayenera kulemekezedwa, inu muyenera kukhala ndi zotulukapo za chosankha chanu cha mnzanu wa mu ukwati. Chifuno cha kutomerana chiri kufufuza kuthekera kwa ukwati kwa winawake—sichiri chofanana ndi ukwati weniweniwo. Ngati Mkristu ayamba unansi m’chikhulupiriro chabwino, iye wamwamuna kapena wamkazi alibe thayo la kupitiriza iwo ngati watsimikizira kukhala woipa. Ndiponso sichiri chanzeru kapena chachikondi kubisa zikaikiro zanu kwa wina amene mukuyembekezera kukwatira.

Kumbukirani, kachiŵirinso, kuti pali unyinji wa anzanu a mu ukwati othekera omwe alipo mkati mwa mpingo Wachikristu—osati kokha mmodzi. Popeza kuti Baibulo limatichenjeza ife ‘kumayang’anitsitsa, osati mokondwera ndi zathu zokha,’ kodi sichikakhala cholakwa ndi kudzikonda kupitiriza unansi womanyonyotsoka pa maziko akuti ‘mwinamwake sindidzapeza winawake’? (Afilipi 2:4) Icho chotero chiri chofunika kuti muyang’anizane—osati kuthaŵa—mavuto anu monga aŵiri.

Kukhala ndi ‘Maso Anu m’Mutu Mwanu’

Solomo ananena kuti: “Wanzeru maso ake ali m’mutu mwake, koma chitsiru chiyenda mu mdima.” (Mlaliki 2:14) Kunyalanyaza zophophonya zowonekeratu za unansi kumafikira ku kuyenda “mu mdima.” Munthu wanzeru, ngakhale ndi tero, ali ‘ndi maso ake m’mutu mwake’ ndipo amawona zinthu mowonekera, ndi cholinga. Wamwamuna kapena wamkaziyo amalingalira mmene mnzake woyembekezeredwayo amalingira ku miyezo ya Baibulo.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi pali umboni wakuti mkazi ameneyu adzakhala wogonjera, mkazi wa luso? (Miyambo 31:10-31) Kodi pali umboni wakuti ali mwamuna amene adzasonyeza chikondi chodzipereka nsembe ndi kukhala wokhoza kupereka? (Aefeso 5:28, 29; 1 Timoteo 5:8) Munthu angadzinenere kukhala mtumiki wachangu wa Mulungu, koma kodi pali ntchito zochirikiza kudzinenera kwa chikhulupiriro koteroko? (Yakobo 2:17, 18) “Zaka khumi zapitazi zakhala . . . zachisoni kotheratu,” akutero mkazi wachichepere mmodzi yemwe anakwatiwa ndi mwamuna woperewera ntchito zoterozo. “Ndinathera m’kukwatiwa ndi winawake . . . yemwe sanakonde Yehova monga mmene ndinachitira.”

Kufufuza m’zofalitsidwa zozikidwa pa Baibulo pa nkhani ya ukwati kungakuthandizeni inu kupeza kawonedwe ka Mulungu pa nkhaniyo. Ndiponso, makolo anu angakhale okhoza kukuthandizani kufunafuna kaamba ka mnzanu wothekera ndi maso abwino. “Ndinabweretsa mtsikana kunyumba,” akukumbukira tero mwamuna mmodzi wachichepere, “ndipo amayi anga ananena kuti, ‘Ukudziŵa, sindinganene kuti sindimukonda iye, koma sindingathe kumsanthula iye. Chikuwoneka ngati mtsikanayu ali ndi chinachake chimene akufuna kubisa.’” Mwamuna wachichepereyo anaika pambali kawonedwe ka amayi ake. Koma pambuyo pake iye anapeza ku kuipidwa kwake kuti mtsikanayo ndithudi anali ndi chinachake chobisa—mkhalidwe wa makhalidwe oipa a chisembwere. “Mudziŵa, amayi anga amazindikira kwambiri,” iye pambuyo pake anavomereza tero.

Kukhazikitsa Zikaikiro Zanu

Kuyang’anizana mwachindunji ndi mavuto anu monga aŵiri kuli kokha chiyambi. Ngati inu mwasunga nthaŵi yaitali ndi malingaliro mu unansi, musakhale ofulumira kuthetsa iwo kokha chifukwa mwapeza kuti mwamunayo kapena mkaziyo sali wangwiro. “Timakhumudwa tonse pa zinthu zambiri,” limakumbutsa tero Baibulo. (Yakobo 3:2) Chotero palibe mnzanu amene adzakhala wangwiro. (Aroma 3:23) Kuyang’ana pa nkhaniyo ndi cholinga, inu mungatsirize kuti zophophonya za munthuyo ziri zimene mungathe kuchita nazo.

Ku mbali ina, bwanji ngati simungathe kuchita ndi izo? Kulekana kungakhalebe kofulumira. Choyamba dzilowetseni mu “kukambitsirana kwamseli” ndi kuyesera kuthetsa zikaikiro zanu. (Miyambo 15:22, NW) M’malo mowononga unansi wanu, kulankhula nkhanizo kungavumbule kuthekera kumene kulipo kaamba ka kukula kwa mtsogolo! Ukwati wa chipambano umamangiriridwa pa kukhulupirira. Kodi sichikakhala chanzeru, chotero, kuwona ngati mungakhazikitse dongosolo la kulankhula kowona mtima musanakhale mbali ya ukwati? Chizindikiro chimodzi cha unansi wa uchikulire chiri kuthekera kwa kuthetsa mavuto.

Ngati kukangana kokhazikika kuli vuto, chotero pamodzi mungayesere kupeza chifukwa chimene simumvanirana. Kodi pali kusiyana kwenikweni pakati pa inu m’zonulirapo kapena kayang’anidwe? Kapena kodi pali kusamvana? Kodi iko kungakhale kuti kokha nonse aŵirinu mukuphunzira mmene ‘mungalamulire mtima wanu’ ndi kuthetsa zinthu mwa bata? (Miyambo 25:28) Ngati zizoloŵezi za umunthu zokwiitsa zikudetsani nkhaŵa, kodi mwamunayo kapena mkaziyo modzichepetsa amavomereza zophophonya zake ndi kusonyeza chikhumbo cha kuwongolera? Kodi pali chifuno ku mbali yanu cha kukhala wozindikira pang’ono, wokhudza pang’ono? (Mlaliki 7:9) ‘Kulolerana wina ndi mnzake m’chikondi’ kuli mwazi wa moyo wa ukwati wabwino.—Aefeso 4:2.

Ngati kukambitsirana kungotulukapo kokha m’kukwiitsana kwina, musanyalanyaze zizindikiro zowonekera za tsoka lomadza. (Miyambo 22:3) Zinthu siziri zothekera kuwongokera pambuyo pa ukwati. Kuthetsa kutomerana kungakhale m’chikondwerero chabwino koposa cha aŵirinu. Ku mbali ina, kuyang’anizana ndi zovuta zanu kungatulukepo bwino lomwe m’kuika maziko kaamba ka ukwati wa uchikulire, wopiririka.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 14]

Kukangana kokhazikika kuli chisonyezero chimodzi champhamvu chakuti unansi uli ndi vuto

[Chithunzi patsamba 13]

Ena amayesera kunyalanyaza kapena kulungamitsa zophophonya zowonekeratu za umunthu