Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndimotani Mmene Ndingakanizire Chisonkhezero cha Kutukwana?

“MU MKHALIDWE wokwiyitsa kwambiri,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo wotchuka Joyce Brothers, “pali chinachake chabwino ponena za kulankhula chinenero chotonza molimba mtima.”

Kugwiritsira ntchito mawu onyoza kofala lerolino kumasonyeza kuti ambiri akuvomereza manenedwe amenewa. Komabe, kugwiritsira ntchito mawu onyoza, kutalitali ndi kukhala kwabwino, kuli kolakwira, kosakaza, ndi kotsitsa.a Mlembi wa Baibulo Yakobo analongosola kuti: “Kodi kasupe atulutsira pa una womwewo madzi okoma ndi owawa?” Nchosayenerera chotani nanga, kenaka, “kuyamika [Yehova, NW] ndi Atate nalo; [lilime limodzimodzilo] timatemberera [kapena kuitanira tsoka] anthu okhala monga mwa mafanizidwe a Mulungu.” Yakobo anamaliza kuti: “Abale anga, izi siziyenera kutero.”—Yakobo 3:9-11.

Vuto liri lakuti kugwiritsira ntchito chinenero chotukwana kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhala chizoloŵezi chozama kwambiri. Monga mmene wachichepere wotchedwa Ron akuchiikira icho kuti: “Mawu otukwana amenewa amakhala okhomeredwa kwambiri m’maganizo ako [chakuti pamene waputidwa] umalakalaka kunena limodzi.” Ndimotani, kenaka, mmene munthu angapezere ulamuliro pa kalankhulidwe kake, makamaka pamene ali pansi pa chididikizo?

Kuchinjiriza Mtima Wanu

Choyamba, gwirirani ntchito pa kuthetsa kulankhula kotukwana pa magwero ake. Yesu Kristu ananena kuti “pakuti mkamwa mungolankhula ndi kusefukira kwake kwa mtima.” (Mateyu 12:34) Chotero chimene chimatuluka mkamwa mwanu chimawunikira zimene mwakhala mukudyetsa maganizo anu ndi mtima.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi mabukhu ndi magazini amene mumaŵerenga nthaŵi zonse amasonyeza chinenero choipa? Chotero masinthidwe m’zizoloŵezi za kuŵerenga akakhala ofunikira. (Afilipi 4:8) Kodi inu muli ndi zomamatiza, mabaji, kapena masikipa omwe ali ndi maneno osayenera kapena ngakhale otukwana? Maneno oterowo angawoneke kukhala oseketsa, koma kodi kuseka zinthu zimene Mulungu amatsutsa—kusatchula ofalitsa zinthu zoterozo mwa kuzivala izo—sikunganyonyotsole kuyesayesa kwanu kukhalabe woyera m’maso mwake? Baibulo limatsutsa “kulankhula zopanda pake” za mtundu uliwonse zimene “siziyenera” Mkristu.—Aefeso 5:4.

Ziyambukiro za Nyimbo

Kodi ndi mtundu wanji wa nyimbo umene inu mumamvetserako? “Ungaphunzire chirichonse mwa kumvetsera ku nyimbo” kanali kanenedwe komasuka ka wachichepere wotchedwa Jim. Mwakutero iye analozera ku nyimbo zambiri zofala zimene mwachindunji ziri ndi mawu oipa kapena otukwana. Mlembi Tipper Gore akusimba kuti: ‘Nyimbo zofala zambiri za achichepere tsopano zimaimba ponena za kugwirira chigololo, mpyotompyoto, kugonana kwa pa ubale, chiwawa, ndi chisembwere.’

Achichepere kaŵirikaŵiri amawonekera ogwidwa m’kaimbidwe ndi kamvekedwe ka nyimbo m’chakuti chimawoneka kukhala zenizeni ku mawu wake. Chikhalirechobe, kodi munakhalapo ndi nthaŵi yovuta kuyesa kuchotsa m’maganizo mwanu liwu limene munangomva mosasamala? Tangolingalirani mmene mawu amenewa angakhalire okhomeredwa mozama ngati muwamvetsera mobwerezabwereza! Chakudya chokhazikika cha nyimbo ndi mawu otukwana kapena onyoza chingangodzaza maganizo anu ndi malingaliro oipa—amene mosavuta angasefukire m’kalankhulidwe kanu.

Phunziro? Khalani wosankha ku chimene mumvetsera! “M’khutumu simuyesa mawu, monga mkamwa mulaŵa chakudya chake?” anafunsa tero Yobu m’Baibulo. (Yobu 12:11) Monga mmene lilime lanu limakondera mitundu inayake ya chakudya, khutu lanu lingaphunzitsidwe kusankha mofananamo chimene mumvetserako.

Nsonga ina yolingalira iri mtundu wa mafilimu ndi ziwonetsero za TV zimene mupenyerera. Zimenezi zakhala ndi kugwiritsira ntchito kokulira kwa kalankhulidwe koipa ndi ziwonetsero zovumbula machitidwe a chisembwere. Makaseti a video apereka njira yosavuta kwa achichepere ku mafilimu oipa. Mogwirizana ndi magazini ya Time, “tsiku ndi tsiku, m’dziko lonse [U.S.], ana a msinkhu wa pansi pa zaka 17 amapita mmasitolo ogulitsa mavideo kubwereka mafilimu amene sakakhala okhoza kupenyerera m’holo yowoneramo filimu.”

Mfungulo iri m’kukhala wosankha. Chimenechi chingatanthauze kutalikirana ndi mafilimu ndi ziwonetsero zimene ziri zofala kwenikweni pakati pa amsinkhu wanu. Yesu ananena kuti: “Koma ngati diso lako lamanja likulakwitsa iwe, ulikolowole, nulitaye; pakuti nkwabwino kwa iwe, kuti chimodzi cha ziŵalo zako chiwonongeke, losaponyedwa thupi lako lonse [m’chiwonongeko].”—Mateyu 5:29.

Kodi mawu okhudza mtima amenewa amatanthauzanji? Kuti Akristu ayenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kudzichotsera iwo eni chinthu chirichonse chomwe chikapereka chopunthwitsa chauzimu kwa iwo—ngakhale zinthu za mtengo wapatali monga “diso lamanja.” Ndithudi, ‘kukolowola’ kachidutswa ka zosangulutsa kuti muchinjirize kalankhulidwe kanu koyera kukakhala kudzimana kochepera, kodi sikukatero?

Yang’anirani Manyanjano Anu!

M’bukhu lake lonena za kunyoza, mlembi Burges Johnson anatcha kunyoza kukhala “koyambukira.” Kodi ndimoyandikana chotani mmene mukafunira kukhala ndi winawake wonyamula nthenda yowopsya, yoyambukira mofulumira? Komabe, ndimoyandikana chotani mmene mukafunira kukhala ndi anzanu a pa sukulu omwe momasuka amagwiritsira ntchito chinenero chotukwana?

Kunyoza kuli kofala mowopsya pakati pa achichepere (ndi achikulire). Ena mwachiwonekere amalingalira kuti kugwiritsira ntchito iko kumawapangitsa kukhala achikulire. Ndipo m’malo ena, achichepere a msinkhu wa pakati pa 13 ndi 19 amapangadi mpikisano wa mawu onyoza. Posonkhezeredwa ndi gulu la a msinkhu wawo, iwo amayesera kupambana wina m’maseŵera oipa a kutukwanana ndi kutchana maina. Makolo, banja—ngakhale Mulungu iyemwini—onse ali maseŵera abwino m’kukangana kumeneku kwa milomo yodetsedwa.

Miyambo 13:20 imanena kuti: “Ukayenda ndi anzeru udzakhala wanzeru.” M’mawu ena, khalani pafupi ndi aja olankhula zonyansa, ndipo musadabwe ngati zonyansa ziyamba kutuluka pakamwa panu! Chotero Monique, mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova, wachidziŵitsa icho kuti iye safuna kumvetsera ku nkhani yonyansa. Iye angafikiredi pa kunena kuti, ‘Yang’anira kamwa yako!’ ngati wa msinkhu wake anena chinachake chotsutsika. Kutenga kaimidwe koteroko sikuli kopepuka. Koma monga mmene wachichepere winanso wotchedwa Steve akudziŵitsira kuti: “Ngati sunena chinachake, iwo adzaganiza kuti nchabwino kulankhula mwanjira imeneyo pafupi nawe.”

Bwanji, ngakhale ndi tero, ngati mnzanu Wachikristu anyoza m’kalankhulidwe kake? Chifukwa chowopa kutaya bwenzi, ena angakhoterere pa kunyalanyaza chonenedwacho monga kanthu kakang’ono. Komabe, mabwenzi enieni amayang’anirana, ngakhale ngati chimatanthauza ‘kuvulaza’ maganizo a bwenzi mwa kunena chowonadi. (Miyambo 27:6) Kukumbutsa kokoma mtima—osati uphungu wotalika—ungakhale chongofunikira kuwongolera zinthu. Ndithudi, ngati bwenzi liri ndi vuto lalikulu ndi kulankhula kwake, chiri mwinamwake chabwino koposa kumuthandiza kupeza chithandizo cha wachikulire woyeneretsedwa mwauzimu.b—Yerekezani ndi Agalatiya 6:1.

Kusamalirabe

Wamasalmo anasonyezabe lamulo lamakhalidwe lina limene lingathandize wina kulamulira kalankhulidwe kake pamene anafunsa funso lakuti: “Mnyamata adzayeretsa mayendedwe ake bwanji?” Yankho? “Akawasamalira monga mwa mawu anu.” (Salmo 119:9) Njira imodzi ya kuchitira zimenezi iri kudziloŵetsa m’chizoloŵezi cha kugwiritsira ntchito kalankhulidwe konse kabwino, pamaziko okhazikika. Peŵani kutembenukira ku minyozo ngakhale pamene palibe aliyense wokumvani. Mudzakhala okhoterera mochepera kwambiri kuchita tero pamene chididikizo chibwera.

Kusamalirabe kumatanthauzanso kukhala “wodekha pa kulankhula, wodekha pa kupsya mtima.” (Yakobo 1:19) Musanachitepo kanthu mwamaganizo ndi kunena chinachake chimene mudzachita nacho chisoni, yesani kulamulira kudzimva kwanu. (Yerekezani ndi Genesis 4:7.) Ganizirani ponena za chimene mukufuna kunena. Kodi icho chidzachititsa kuvulaza ndi kupweteka kowonjezereka? Kodi icho chidzapatsa ena lingaliro lolakwika ponena za inu? Kodi icho chimawonetsa chikondi chanu kwa Mulungu ndi kulingalira ena? (Mateyu 22:37-39) Ngati chiyeso cha kufuna kunena mawu oipa chidakali champhamvu, pempherani kwa Mulungu kaamba ka thandizo, monga mmene wamasalmo anachitira pamene anapemphera kuti: “Muike mdindo pakamwa panga, Yehova; sungani pakhomo pa milomo yanga.”—Salmo 141:3.

Nthaŵi zina inu mungaphonye ndi kunena chinthu cholakwika. (Yakobo 3:2) Koma pitirizani kuyesayesa kukaniza kugwiritsira ntchito chinenero choipa. Kuchita tero sikudzakukhalitsani wachichepere wotchuka koposa m’sukulu. Wachichepere wotchedwa Kinney akuvomereza kuti: “Nthaŵi zambiri m’sukulu, ndimayenda ndekha—m’lingaliro lenileni.” Koma kufunitsitsa kwake kwa kuyang’anira mayanjano ake kwatsimikizira kukhala chitetezo. Kuwonjezerapo, monga mmene Kinney akunenera, “Anthu amakulemekeza. Iwo amaganiza kuti kuli kulimba mtima.” Amateronso Yehova Mulungu. (Miyambo 27:11) Ndipo iye adzadziŵa zoyesayesa zanu kukaniza chisonkhezero chofuna kutukwana.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 16]

Pewani kuyanjana ndi anthu otukwana